THIS IS KILLING ME! My sides hurt from laughing.
your wife comments on how pretty your legs smell from the baby powder
you only know what day it is by ‘max bench day, dynamic squat day…’
you actually get mad and have to explain to someone on a daily basis that bodybuilding is something totally different than powerlifting.
[quote]tveddy wrote:
You have ever spent more than 2 hours at a buffet consuming only meat.
Nobody says anything when you change the music at the gym.
You actually have a key to the gym so you can lift after/before hours. (I love this)
You have ever been told that you turn sideways to walk through doors and you never noticed that you actually did this until they brought it up.[/quote]
Holy Crap. Between this and the one about not being able to flip the shirt collar down in the back, I finally feel like I am not alone.
[quote]conorh wrote:
sob440 wrote:
When you see clothes covered in skulls, cross bones, flames and chains and think man that looks cool
Actually, I think about that time Greg Valentino claims to have nailed that goth chick while her black cat was in the bed next to a human skull.[/quote]
Only a goth chick would be sick enough to sleep with Greg Valentino.
(military lifters)
when people don’t know your name and say “i’m looking for the big guy” and the people in your shop know exactly who it is.
you can’t roll your sleeves past your elbows.
you’re told to go to the gym for PT and you giggle audibly.
instead of hanging fuzzy dice on your car rearview mirror, you hang your lifting straps.
listening to heavy music makes you twitch in anticipation.
you are disappointed for the rest of the day if you can walk out of the gym on your own.
you question the masculinity of anyone who doesn’t use multiple plates.
you meet more people in the gym than you do anywhere else.
anytime anyone needs to move anything at all, they ask for you or you volunteer before the question is finished.
anything other than chicken, tuna, oatmeal, peanut butter, and protien powder is considered a treat and greeted with celebration.
you no longer eat for taste.
you work on computers, and your only job is to move the big ones.
a couple more…
you may be a powerlifter if…
people ask if you’ve been in a fight because you have blood vessels broken in your eyes. You repond- “Nah, ME squat day…”
You where ballet slippers at close to 300 pounds.
You have to do the reach through ass wipe as apposed to the more accepted reach around style from your younger years.
You steal the babies baby wipes to “finish the job”.
You plan your dumps around showers just to make sure…
Meat
[quote]tapoutRblackout wrote:
you can’t roll your sleeves past your elbows.[/quote]
You can get them to your elbows?
[quote]Professor X wrote:
tapoutRblackout wrote:
you can’t roll your sleeves past your elbows.
You can get them to your elbows?[/quote]
nah, there sitting right above my elbows right now! anything more than that and i risk wearing a camoflauge tourniquet.
when you pick your friend up in the street and squat him when drunk.
[quote]superscience wrote:
when you pick your friend up in the street and squat him when drunk. [/quote]
Hahahahaha…YES!
Although one time I tried front squatting him when I was piss drunk and it didn’t work. My back basically bent in half and I collapsed.
-MAtt
You know you’re a powerlifter when…
You are discussing which pairs of pants to give to your older brother because your ass and thighs are too big to fit into them.
Then your mother suggests keeping some for when you lose weight, at which point you break it to her that your ass and thighs may very well get bigger. Thennnnn, you overhear her discussing your physique with your father and hear the words “It’s disgusting.”
Haha. She doesn’t like my muscle. Oh well.
-MAtt
[quote]Cezar wrote:
You can’t count above 5 but can multiply by 45 in your head.
[/quote]
I record my workouts AFTER my workout is done, and so to help me remember, I’ve stoped using anything other than plates and 25’s because they’re easier to remember.
If you get a rash between your butt cheeks from them rubbing against each other because of the extra glutes!
… you ask yourself “why would he wear squatting shoes at the mall?” with every dork you see with wearing Chuck out in public.
…your best forearm pump comes from helping pull on a bench shirt.
…you can wrap a knee faster and better than any EMT around.
…you push your mower with a staggered grip.
…you think “I wonder if I could deadlift that?” when walking by; an import car, a boat and trailer, VW-based dune buggy, 800lb truck tire, heavy machinery.
…you can ring the bell at the carnival. (but need to rest 3-5 minutes before another attempt.)
…the guy that can “Guess Your Weight” is always 30-40 lbs too low.
…the weights stay in contact with the floor long after you start pulling in the deadlift.
…5 or more gym members stop what they are doing to watch you (even when you are lifting “light”.)
…benching heavy gives you splinters (in your chest).
…you work traps and rear delts hard just to give the bar a place to sit.
…you use a sled in the Spring-Summer-Fall waaaaay more than any kid in the winter.
…you’ve used your kid’s sidewalk chalk when you ran out of your own.
You might be a powerlifter if…
…you’re idea of “isolation” is feeling a vein pump in your neck during a ME squat.
[quote]derek wrote:
…you push your mower with a staggered grip.
[/quote]
This one made me laugh my ass off.
…if you’ve written to Santa asking how much his sled weighs, what parameters his reindeer use to increase their work capacity, and if you can try pulling it when it’s loaded with his fat cookie-eating, milk-drinking ass, a bunch of queer elves, all the presents and several bags of coal for the naughty kids
Sorry, my imagination is very descriptive.
-MAtt
…if to you, bench pressing is a sport, not an exercise.
…you’ve ever smacked yourself in the face before attempting a lift.
…you consistenly think of “exploding out of the hole” when you get up from taking a shit. Not to mention, during.
…you’ve ever seriously thought about abandoning all work, school, and family responsibities to live in an unfurnished cabin in the woods with only a power rack, GHR, reverse hyper, barbell and dumbells.
…you’ve ever wondered if sex in the missionary position counts as accessory or extra workouts because of it’s striking resemblance to arched back pull throughs.
…every time some dooshbag meathead trys to tell you how much he benches and it’s more than you, you immediatly think to ask about his squat and deadlift.
That’s all I got for now.
-MAtt
[quote]brads1111 wrote:
Matgic wrote:
…if to you, bench pressing is a sport, not an exercise.
-Honestly I do weighted dips. Negative dips as well as bench forces my shoulder to slide out of place.
…you’ve ever smacked yourself in the face before attempting a lift.
I do it neck work…obviously I use it for everything.
…you consistenly think of “exploding out of the hole” when you get up from taking a shit. Not to mention, during.
Isn’t that obvious?
…you’ve ever seriously thought about abandoning all work, school, and family responsibities to live in an unfurnished cabin in the woods with only a power rack, GHR, reverse hyper, barbell and dumbells.
It’s like my mind has been read.
…you’ve ever wondered if sex in the missionary position counts as accessory or extra workouts because of it’s striking resemblance to arched back pull throughs.
How bouncing a girl on top of ya as heavy ab work?
…every time some dooshbag meathead trys to tell you how much he benches and it’s more than you, you immediatly think to ask about his squat and deadlift.
I think it’s spelled “douche.” I hate when people don’t squat and bench. I’ve often walked away just shouting “goodbyyyeeee.”
That’s all I got for now.
-MAtt
You’re a true man of genious.
I’ve kinda had terrible problems with my legs fitting into anything and the giving pants to my older 225 pound brother because my legs are to big is a problem that I had never heard of before. I thought it was just me.
I have some…
Your mother expressed relief that you now live on the first floor so they won’t have to replace the second floor stairs.
Your mother has tried to ban you from anything in the house that isn’t a bench.
Your bed is reinforced to deal with your weight.
You refuse to move out because the food bill would be impossible to pay. I’m over 100 bucks a week myself.
You lift up your shirt, rub your firm “power gut”, yell “belllyyyyyyy”, and chase people around thus terrifying them.
You do the same thing out of windows.
You pop a stitch everytime you tie your shoes.
You inlist the help of others to put your shoes on.
The “help” is more like forced labor and the labor is very accurate.
You have to buy a new wardrobe every year.
You’re hot year-round and you live in places where it snows two feet.
You carry a towel everywhere.
Does anyone else just wear sandles year 'round so as to not have to tie shoes?
[/quote]
Word man. You can also add up there
…when your mother hides the nuts from you because she knows you eat 6 handfulls a day and leave the rest of the family none.
…restaraunts or the dining hall at school have memorized your order and instantly prepare the 3 hamburger patties without you saying a word. Or, you have your own food special named after you.
-MAtt
[quote]Matgic wrote:
…restaraunts or the dining hall at school have memorized your order and instantly prepare the 3 hamburger patties without you saying a word. Or, you have your own food special named after you.
-MAtt
[/quote]
LOL. All I have to do is walk in and nod. I have most food places around here trained to the point other people in line ask if I’m a celebrity.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Matgic wrote:
…restaraunts or the dining hall at school have memorized your order and instantly prepare the 3 hamburger patties without you saying a word. Or, you have your own food special named after you.
-MAtt
LOL. All I have to do is walk in and nod. I have most food places around here trained to the point other people in line ask if I’m a celebrity.[/quote]
Haha, yep. It’s fun too when you call for pickup or delivery and they can recognize your name easily enough to recite your order.
Or when they throw your burgers on the grill even when you’re in the back of the line. 
-MAtt