“if you use straps with a push-mower”
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You know you are a powerlifter when you can squat 900 lbs but cant make it up a couple of stairs.
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You wouldnt think twice about using a spotter, power rack is the way to go!
[quote]dyeguy1212 wrote:
“if you use straps with a push-mower”[/quote]
Ok that didn’t make any sense…
-Your idea of making weight is getting a haircut and farting.
dude… hilarious… these made me L.O.L
People don’t talk to you directly, they ask your workout partner to ask you stuff.
You can’t count above 5 but can multiply by 45 in your head.
You check your depth when using the john.
You consider anything over a triple to be cardio
Always swing by the chain section of Home Depot, no matter what you’re buying
Are uncomfortable in a gym that doesn’t smell “used”
I actually had a guy @ homedepot get all snotty when I asked for 3/4" chain… he was like " I think you mean 3/8"… “No… believe it or not, I want what I just asked you for.”“There is NO WAY you could mean 3/4” chain… do you know how heavy that stuff is??"
[quote]mrdav2u wrote:
dude… hilarious… these made me L.O.L
People don’t talk to you directly, they ask your workout partner to ask you stuff.
You can’t count above 5 but can multiply by 45 in your head.
You check your depth when using the john.
You consider anything over a triple to be cardio
Always swing by the chain section of Home Depot, no matter what you’re buying
Are uncomfortable in a gym that doesn’t smell “used”
I actually had a guy @ homedepot get all snotty when I asked for 3/4" chain… he was like " I think you mean 3/8"… “No… believe it or not, I want what I just asked you for.”“There is NO WAY you could mean 3/4” chain… do you know how heavy that stuff is??"[/quote]
I’d have said, “Yes asshole, but you never will.”
[quote]lostinthought wrote:
Milk jugs aren’t for milk. They’re for filling full of the gallon of water you’re going to drink during your workout. [/quote]
I’m going to disagree on this one. Maybe if you change it to a gallon of Gatorade.
Or milk.
Bear
" You know your a powerlifter when you go to check your post on T NATIOIN’
just thought that be a good ending since not many people were posting new ones.
When your arms and shoulders are so large that you have difficulty talking on the phone for more than a few seconds without switching arms.
Great stuff. Right up there with Dave Tate’s reasons to be massive article he wrote a while back. So funny yet so true.
[quote]squatdude wrote:
When your arms and shoulders are so large that you have difficulty talking on the phone for more than a few seconds without switching arms.[/quote]
This is so true. Since I’ve gotten back from school, and talking to my girl on the phone, I’ve notice that my arm goes numb in about 5 minutes.
Bear
you might be a powerlifter if…
You can retrace your steps through the gym by looking for the chalk covered plates, benches, bars and the occasional person that rubbed up against you.
You carry a flat bench around with you to every exercise so you have somewhere to sit down between sets.
You enter an area and everyone migrates to another area.
You use knee wraps to tie boards to your chest.
It’s not a good ME set unless your nose gushes blood.
You have seriously considered hiring a “weight caddy” to put away all the weights between the sets.
You don’t bother adding up the weights on the leg press but instead just say things like … " I pressed 28 plates".
Meat
a couple more…
You might be a powerlifter if…
Your wife refuses to dry any of your clothes in the dryer for fear of shrinking them.
You go into a store and finally realize after spending an hour trying on clothes that nothing is going to fit you.
You’ve come to the realization that you will never again wear “straight leg” jeans.
You go to rent a tux and they have to use pieces from four different tuxes to fit you.
tying your shoes are a multi rep exercise usually needing at least ten reps down and up to complete the job.
you put your belt on your pants before putting your pants on.
you actually keep your shoes tied and just slid them on and off instead of going to the trouble of tying and untying them.
you put your shirt on and realize that your collar is standing up in the back and know with certainty that not in a million years can you reach behind your head to fix it, instead you wait for someone to offer to fix it or just pretend you are reliving the '80s.
you tuck your shirt in and within the time it takes you to walk out of your bedroom it has become untucked. But every morning you still tuck it in.
Now you see what I go through everyday…
Meat
[quote]maraudermeat wrote:
you might be a powerlifter if…
You can retrace your steps through the gym by looking for the chalk covered plates, benches, bars and the occasional person that rubbed up against you.
You carry a flat bench around with you to every exercise so you have somewhere to sit down between sets.
You enter an area and everyone migrates to another area.
You use knee wraps to tie boards to your chest.
It’s not a good ME set unless your nose gushes blood.
You have seriously considered hiring a “weight caddy” to put away all the weights between the sets.
You don’t bother adding up the weights on the leg press but instead just say things like … " I pressed 28 plates".
Meat
[/quote]
I have a camp stool, it’s alot lighter then a bench.
-If you’ve ever suggested your gym move all the cardio equipment out of the gym and into an inflatable tent which would be named “The Cardio Hut” with a straight face.
-If you’ve ever let a weight drop to the floor after a pr and immediatly thought afterwards “I hope they don’t make me pay for that.”
-Your reply to the question “What do you weight?” is always “Not quite enough.”
If you tell the guys that you’ll have a heart attack if the gym gets a new leg press AND a new smith machine.
You have ever spent more than 2 hours at a buffet consuming only meat.
Nobody says anything when you change the music at the gym.
You actually have a key to the gym so you can lift after/before hours. (I love this)
You have ever been told that you turn sideways to walk through doors and you never noticed that you actually did this until they brought it up.
[quote]Kliplemet wrote:
when you’re a huge fat, bald guy with a goatie[/quote]
Hey, I don’t have a goatie.
(2 for 3 ain’t bad.)
You know your a powerlifter when you can walk into any place that sells food and not spend at least $5.
When you never see the light of day because you go to work in the mourning and head home from the gym at night.
When you no longer ask for weights you just ask for colors “gimmie 3 reds and a blue”
When you need to hold back ever urge to shave your head and grow a goatee.
When talk of chains, boards, and rubber bands automaticly bring up thoughts of your next work out.
When you need a mirror to get pissed off but not to lift in front of.
When you determine what upperbody work you will do by asking the question “Does it help you bench?”
When you see clothes covered in skulls, cross bones, flames and chains and think man that looks cool
[quote]sob440 wrote:
When you see clothes covered in skulls, cross bones, flames and chains and think man that looks cool [/quote]
Actually, I think about that time Greg Valentino claims to have nailed that goth chick while her black cat was in the bed next to a human skull.