No, seriously there’s always a message in red saying I failed and to try again. I have to resort to using the audio selection with my headphones on when it’s available. I failed so many times on discord they didn’t allow me to create an account and I had to email them to prove i was human but I can’t remember the details lol.
So, I dunno. One member of this forum was asking some of us to describe our educational backgrounds and certain quirks we had a couple of years back. I said I have a very big problem recognizing faces of people I’ve met. Maybe it works the same way.
But seriously, some stuff is really beyond me for the CAPTCHAs. How the fuck would I know what a fucking bus from whatever country the fucking CAPTCHA tool uses looks like? The fucking trains look the same. Some are even the same colors. ML can probably render this shit worthless in a couple of years.
I read half of a book on it that was pretty good. It was powerful, I reprogrammed a few of my own subconscious subroutines, no therapist involved. It was intense too, I had a few hour long conversations (written) with my own internal stuff, coming out of it felt like coming out of my deepest meditations, which was really weird because my eyes weren’t even closed and I wasn’t focused on breathing during it, just writing… Self hypnosis I guess.
I was wondering if I had hypnotized myself or dehypnotized myself - I think in those cases I lessened the effect of very old stupid decisions from childhood like “well I’m never doing that again”, and then actually sadly living within those boundaries for decades, and not even remembering the decisions
Shrug
But yeah it can be dangerous, and probably a waste of money too
Dangerous how? I’m not sure what you mean. Also, if you found it helpful, why would it be a waste of money if in therapy is where you encountered it?
Disclaimer: I’m not trained in IFS and don’t practice it, though I definitely go to childhood coping mechanisms that become maladaptive in adulthood. I just wonder about your response to it.
I don’t know, it wasn’t dangerous for me. But I remember the book repeating a few times that it can be dangerous and to have a therapist help if needed.
I was responding to a portion from theMyth, from a larger conversation that dealt with dangerous repressed memories
It wasn’t a waste of money for me but it could be for someone else. The book wasn’t very expensive, I wasn’t working with a therapist.
I felt I owed a defense to IFS from what I had experienced while also acknowledging … stuff
My response to it was very positive, the little bit of negativity at the end of my post (if that’s how one were to label it) was more an attempt at balance. Something had to mirror the tone from what I was quoting, otherwise my post would be incomplete:
I think it was awkward because last night I read stuff from months ago and responded to a portion within the context of that time, when that time is past.
Ah, okay, that all makes sense. A “but your milage may vary” kind of thing. I was confused with what sounded like an abrupt change in directions.
I know, I phrased my response poorly. I was trying to say that if you found the information helpful, why wouldn’t we expect someone who came across the concepts in therapy to also benefit. And if so, it’s not a waste of money.
@The_Myth is often cynical/hostile regarding therapy and therapists, presumably because they have failed to help him. Which is fair enough. What isn’t fair is to label the entire vastly diverse group “the shrinks” and imagine or imply that they walk in lockstep. It would be the same as saying “self-help books are snake oil” when our society has benefited greatly from the research and subsequent writings of some of these self-help authors. I’m not sure how many times I’ve seen “the five love languages” come up on these boards - more than a dozen, though - and this is not a site for self-help or Oprah consumers. There have been others, but that’s the one that comes to mind. I pursued my field in part because some of these books were so helpful to me.
So I appreciate your defense very much, and wonder why (I don’t mean this as an attack, please understand that, I’m defensive of “the shrinks”) you felt you needed to add, essentially, “but yeah, probably dangerous bullshit” in order to soothe potentially ruffled feathers on the part of someone vilifying something you’d found valuable.
I sound really attacking, of you and of him. I’m sorry! I don’t mean to be.
I would usually with a random person, but in the specific case of people who already strongly believe otherwise, I’ll just say that it can be extremely helpful.
I mentioned money out of habit and instinct, reflecting now a bit more on why my habits and instincts would result in that phrasing - I’m guessing it’s the counterbalance to his mention of ‘rabbit hole’. I don’t know why he would want to avoid an infinite regress except that I’m guessing he doesn’t have infinite money. Well, one other possibility - fear. So throwing in the word “probably” increases the chance of avoiding that challenge. And that “probably” word is the real thing that makes the sentence seem so off balance I think
I agree, I thought it was sarcasm on his part though
Thank you. I didn’t consciously feel a need to avoid ruffling feathers, I definitely didn’t feel a need to soothe feathers that might have been ruffled.
A long time ago it was almost my goal to ruffle feathers, but to do so in a manner where it was the other person’s fault, and I was just behaving properly and justly.
That gave rise to habits. But ruffling feathers is a pretty low goal to have even if I was doing it with one arm tied behind my back. What was the larger purpose?
What, if I’d hurt enough people badly enough, then they’d learn to do better next time, all the time?
Pssshhh Maaaaybe, like one person might
But I was really just slowly leaking out my bottled anger - that was the real purpose - but I wasn’t blind enough yet to see it then. (Thanks Zatoichi)
Well then, why not just skip the whole torture thing and find a better way? So I just added another layer on top, the anger still leaked, but more sneakily, higher pressure, lower volume, seemed like progress. Blah blah, bad stuff, the anger is mostly gone now, the ridiculously kind habits remain
Another way of looking at it is encapsulation. When I hit reply the message goes to the T-Nation servers. But not really all as one single message. There’s physically just one’s and zero’s. Like Cypher from The Matrix, there’s a part of the router that doesn’t even see one’s and zero’s anymore, he just see’s “blond, blond, redhead”, similarly, there’s a part of the router that just see’s frames. There’s a part of the router that is even closer to the center, it doesn’t see 1s and 0s either, nor frames, it just see’s “packets”, and it knows exactly what to do with them. So bunches of 1’s and 0s, or packets, depending on how you look at it get sent to the T-Nation servers. Parts of the servers see different stuff, and some part of the server sees this entire message as one single thing. I think human minds work similarly and I’ve put it into my habits to encapsulate my messages. At least one layer of my message ought to mirror my … conversation buddy (almost said opponent…). It can be the innermost layer or the outermost, it can be thin, it can be thick, it should exist usually if not always, imo. So that last sentence that seemed so strange was a mirror encapsulation layer just thrown on at the end I guess
I think you might do it to, without noticing
Nah, you don’t sound that way towards me, you’ve just asked some questions about something that seemed strange at first. That’s possibly a natural human mirror response to my last few paragraphs of my other post. I admit fault at the end of my post, it’s somewhat natural for the next human to do something similar in theirs - especially since bouncing ideas back and forth necessitates the appearance of an opposing force, which is to be avoided with unestablished potential friendlies, usually, and especially in this war torn post apocalyptic present condition
Friendly enough for ya?
(jk jk jk)
Interesting - my post just taught me that it’s in my habits to throw in a “probably” to avoid calculating near suspected roots or asymptotes - a defense mechanism I guess
I reflected on this part a bit and it’s why I added all of the stuff about “probably” above. I think removing that one word would have given a completely different impression, and I didn’t notice it until really zooming in on this part of your post - so thanks
True dis. I am sick of being me and just want to be fixed. I’ve been in and out of therapy, voluntarily and court ordered, and about to return to rehab for the third time - then I get to go to jail for 4-24 months.
I’m not sure if I have a particularly virulent strain of addiction/stupidity, or if I lack will power. I just don’t know.
I really wish I could take what ever it was/is that enabled me to get & stay sober and just give it to you because I hate to see people suffer. (But how much fun would that be, right?)
I think you’re just unbreakable, which can be awesome, cause if you take what ever it is in you that has gotten you this far in life through all of the ups and downs- and turn it loose on kicking the habit(s), those habits don’t stand a chance.
If I can do it, so can you. I want to hear your lead some day. Better yet, I want to hear somebody say “You gotta hear this guy. He’s fuckin’ great!” and it turns out to be you.
Yeah, in my case I had to go through a few cycles of that, rebelliousness to different degrees, but I meant whatever “the basics” means, this time
At my worst I can distinctly remember running so low on willpower to the point it was dangerous. I was thinking too much, too often, too deeply without acting on stuff enough - that’s become one of my big clues for when I need to give myself a reset, which happens to be right around now. My big other clue is feeling like I’m running low on willpower. Another big clue is noticing myself not doing things in the most efficient manner, knowingly, basically being overwhelmed. They are all signs that I need to make a return to basics although those basics don’t need to be the same in each cycle, and that I need to let go of stuff (attachments of various forms) to travel lighter so I can continue going farther, and that I need to be kinder to myself for the same reasons
Focusing on too many things is the opposite of focus.
That might mostly be specific to myself, but just think - doesn’t whatever level of willpower you’ve got need to be enough?
There’s got to be a way to reframe it so that you can make better use of whatever willpower you’ve got, even to the point that you can know it’s no longer the limiting factor
Then, whatever shape that takes could be called “returning to basics”.
That’s my basic plan, at a high level. At some time later I will (inshaAllah) add new stuff or re-add old stuff that I detached from that I’d like to resume at that time. And I’ll probably keep adding stuff slowly for years until it’s too much and quality and focus plummet and confusion and overwhelm rise and I remember again what true suffering is and the whole cycle repeats, but hopefully not needing to go as extreme as before - because I can remember. Hopefully each cycle becomes more extreme to the good side and less extreme to the bad side, but not too much hope - a little more action is usually better than a little more hope, and it’ll sometimes require less willpower, odd as it may seem
I know. I wish I could boil down what it is I see when people click into a place where they’re able to make these enormous and lasting changes. I’ve been party to it over and over again, on both sides, but I really don’t know exactly what it is. It certainly is not a particular kind of therapy, e.g. IFS, though I know it can happen via that route, or through body work if the mind finds what it needs there.
We spend a lot of time on Eleanor Roosevelt’s “No one can be made to feel inferior without their consent” in my office. And I think, somehow, it’s in there, because the notion of consent applies far beyond feeling inferior. I can withdraw my consent at any time and in any arena I control. But of course how to get to a soul-deep “no” is the question. And I guess after that you have to somehow get to a soul-deep “yes” of some sort.
I actually just came back to mention The Law of One: Ra Material but was moved by your post almost a year later.
It has been a journey, and I think your perceptions are apt. I read this post a year ago but was in the storm, packing up and moving out of what was my home, having a blow up with my brother, quitting my job, and going to rehab again.
One of my conclusions over the last year is that of boundaries - I’ve allowed others to violate mine (given consent) because I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin.
I have found some peace, am sober for over eleven months, but still struggle with resentment and rage - both symptoms of cPTSD I think.
Whatever happened, I have learned that it is my responsibility to grow and be an adult, to not let the story from the past be the narrative of my future. I had a psychedelic experience (consciously created by me for healing) last year and it gave me some clarity with respect to who I am and who I want to be.
Unfortunately, it also made me somewhat confrontational with friends and family that I felt violated my boundaries (still not taking responsibility for my own part).
I have reconnected with my IFS therapist, have seen her twice in the last three months for general counseling, and will be starting with her at least once monthly commencing next Friday specifically for IFS work.
Probably TMI, still struggling with boundaries, but wanted to acknowledge (however late) your counsel, support, and wisdom.
There have been many posts recently in the Does Body Count Matter thread that I wanted to respond to but rather than post there indiscriminately, I figured I would post here.
Much of the discussion has been around pride and ego, being cucked, being a Beta male and much of it strikes me as ego driven.
I have been blessed recently with discovering Taoism, Buddhism, Vipassana meditation, working the twelve steps, and with going no contact with my older brother. A synthesis of these experiences has led me to a newish viewpoint.
Afterthought - Ra Material, The Law of One has also contributed.
I, of course, was cavalier and sarcastic in many of my posts in an effort to highlight the perceived mistakes of others.
Here is my take - body count does not matter, raising someone else’s kid as your own does not matter, being a Beta does not matter. None of these things matter unless they matter to you. And if they do matter to you, the fact that they matter is a sign that you should investigate why they matter.
Ego is obviously a consideration. Much has been made of trying to be egoless or trying to destroy your ego, but I believe ego is a part of your psyche and you should strive to understand it through compassionate inquiry, to work with your ego, to change your perception of your role in society.
If you can get your ego on board, understand its role, then it no longer becomes a situation of being disrespected, being considered a Beta. At that point you become a Sigma.
This all ties in with the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path, Internal Family Systems, and Vipassana meditation.
Figured I would rant here rather than invite the enmity there.
