I would imagine someone in your circle of woo will have access. If not bust out an old tie-dye and hit up a concert parking lot. Phish or EDM or something like that. Try not to act like a cop and you’ll be fine.
I’m 6’1", semi jacked 195 with a short haircut - I scream cop. Pretty ironic.
Yes this occurred to me as well. Hence the tie-dye. No cop would ever wear a disguise like that.
I got a hooker working on it.
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First, wanted to lead with this, since it’s where the topic has turned
That said, I don’t partake, so draw your conclusions.
Also, appreciate the accolades @EmilyQ Your praise means a lot.
Glad you appreciated it. I draw a similar conclusion, even if possibly a different meaning. Nietzsche’s “God is dead” was more a decleration of the dillema of no longer being able to default to God as the reason for existence and, with it, the dawning of a global existential crisis. For some, there is no crisis: God is not dead. For others, God is dead and there is the crisis. However, your observation that “he is within each and every one of us” correlates to something I’m finding as well. I’ve been told from many MANY people that I can’t live a full, rich and fulfilling life unless I have spiritual health, and that requires belief in a higher power. And I’m also told that said higher power has to be something higher than myself. But, in turn, this means the higher power CAN be myself: just not myself now.
My higher power is what I am becoming, rather than what I am. And I have a LOT of faith in that higher power. Unquestionable, unshakable, fanatical faith. The only trick is to try to control the self-loathing and resentment that can come accompanied with such faith, because you can very easily fixate on what you are NOW and how inadequate that is rather than take joy in what you are growing toward.
Appreciate it. There’s also something to be said about not enjoying the pushing the rock up the hill, but enjoying the CHOICE to push the rock up the hill while ALSO acknowledging that pushing the rock up the hill is miserable. Right now, I’m training in an uninsulated garage in the American midwest in the middle of summer. Heat index has been 115 degrees. I pick the hottest time of day to train. It SUCKS. I don’t try to convince myself otherwise. But I take joy in that I chose to experience that, and that, with it, I get the experience of overcoming and becoming stronger (once again growing into that higher power).
Sometimes adversity is a gift. We must imagine Sisyphus as jacked from pushing a rock up a hill for so long.
The Mule looked awesome. I’m a total sucker for Clint Eastwood.
Appreciate you inviting me into the topic.
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Tom Waits, the Charles Bukowski of music.
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
Such a rich post.
Contemp lit, post WWII. We murdered so many people and did such horrible things to them that clearly, god is dead.
Things get chippy after that in art, music, and literature, much more chaotic, no longer the Knight in shining armor winning the princess. The devil started winning and the princess started sleeping with the wizard, Things got messy.
Incoming woo woo. We all came from the same astral dust from the big bang, created in god’s image. So, god is a part of us, is within you. Heaven is within you. Your higher power is your best self, and that is god, and it is within you.
To go all biblical and shit on your, you can only get to heaven through christ. But, it’s Christ consciousness, the seventh chakra, the seventh church in revelations.
The seventh chakra is the crown chakra, or enlightenment - christ consciousness.
Once you realize that we are all connected, entanglement theory, you understand that lifting up your brother is lifting yourself up.
I’ve made a total mess of this, but I think you get my drift.
Christ consciousness. The buddhists say treat everyone like they were your mother - because in a past of future life, they will be. Because, our mind (soul) is energy, and it cannot be extinguished or created - it is.
And that is a great meditation - be. Don’t do, just be.
I think this is being. Just be.
Check out Jon Kabat-Zinn.
And, the Mule doesn’t end well. I mean, it sort of does, but he ends up just being, finding beauty in the lilies, but just being.
We are all timeless beings, so, no hurry.
Sorry if I freaked anybody out.
That was a fantastic post.
As far as Mr. Waits goes, I think there’s some truth in that statement when it comes to significant doses of psychedelics. It is difficult to describe, but they can bring you to a place where you may start to examine yourself in ways that you haven’t before. Your thoughts can have a tendency to go in unexpected directions, bringing you to all kinds of places you’ve never been before. I found this enjoyable and rewarding, but some people don’t take well to the experience and freak right the fuck out. It can be traumatic.
Important disclaimer for @The_Myth here as well. I haven’t partaken in two decades. I cannot attest to the potency or purity of whatever you manage to acquire. I don’t think LSD has become more potent the way weed has, so you’re probably good if you have reasonable levels of trust in your source.
With that in mind, I’d like to present you with twojarslave’s Practical Guide to High-Dose LSD Use as an adult.
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Set aside a full day. You mentioned taking it after work on a Friday. This is totally fine, but realize that you will likely be awake for 12 hours, at minimum. Perhaps much longer. You will be exhausted at the end when you begin re-connecting with your normal state. When you do fall asleep, your body will probably want a long rest. Get it, and then enjoy the “afterglow” fully-rested. Your subsequent day won’t be pleasant if you’re dragging ass on no sleep after a long, powerful trip.
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Meal prep. Snacks are good. I liked to snack on fruit. Steer way from spaghetti for reasons that will eventually become obvious to you. You should probably steer away from anything that involves much more than taking a piece of food and putting it in your mouth. You may never get hungry, but you’ll need water. Juice is good, or maybe coffee or tea. Having a variety of snacks and drinks on hand is advised, because your sense of taste may be altered and your appetite almost certainly will be. I would not advise alcohol, except perhaps a drink or two as you’re coming down and need a little help relaxing.
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Environment prep. You already mentioned set and setting, so I’m guessing you’ve already put thought into this. Do it someplace you are comfortable. I’m not going to tell you that you HAVE to stay in that place, but wandering around on high doses of LSD can present you with problems that wouldn’t exist if you had stayed put. You may find basic tasks difficult or even impossible. This is normal.
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Sitter prep. Realize that taking a high dose of LSD as you intend is going to make communication difficult. Make sure your sitter is someone you trust who understands what you’re going through and, just as importantly, what you want out of them. You may not seem okay to a sober, casual observer, but you aren’t going to want someone asking you “Are you okay? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” etc. You and the sitter both need to let whatever happens happen. If you aren’t injured, you are physically fine. LSD will not harm your body.
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Music. Have it ready. Back in my day this meant loading up the CD changer, but there are other solutions to this problem now. Make a playlist somehow.
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Don’t bother with too much structure or much of a plan for what you think you’ll be doing. You will likely find yourself quickly distracted, hence the importance of having a safe and comfortable space to be in.
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Since this is the woo thread, I’ll advise having a mantra. For me, that meant a mental deep breath as I was dosing and keeping the idea in my head that “you’ve taken a very powerful drug that will eventually wear off”. This can be important to remind yourself of since the entire experience can be overwhelming at times.
For something more eloquent to remember in times of trouble, I’ll turn to the author who first planted the idea of psychedelic exploration in my head.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
We should pin this post, kind of like the PCT post is pinned.
And, it’s just a psychedelic, it’s not the spice, lol. Loved that novel, hated the movie.
I read Stan Grof’s book - he was high dosing patients with LSD in 1960 in Prague. And, I read Michael Pollan’s book about high dose LSD and mushrooms. And DMT.
Now, the DMT I think I might be able to order as a research chemical, and there are other analogs to LSD you can order, online. But, you need to have a test kit to be sure it’s legit.
It’s legal to grow mushrooms in the USA so I ordered a spore kit form one source and a media kit from another. It was all very complimicated, you had to use the oven and keep everything sterile.
Ends up my media kit never got delivered, so I’ve got spores, probably dead now, but no dirt for them.
So I’ve got intention - destroy my ego and connect. I’ve got set and setting, my apartment and a nice Spotify playlist, plenty of reggae, and I’ve got a sitter, the aforementioned gal that may actually procure for me.
I guess I just need to find the nearest EDM concert and go score.
I do have another source, but it’s 100 hits minimum.
BTW, high dose is considered 100 mcg. Ram Das used to regularly hit 300, so, not that big of a deal.
The sheet, 100 hits, was $400. I might just do that
Then microdose for the next five years, lol.
Can you imagine finding out years later that your English teacher was microdosing LSD every day.
Anyway, greatly appreciate the input. I do not take this lightly.
Peace
It’s all relative. 100 micrograms will definitely put you in another place for a first-time use, but I’m not sure I’d call that high dose. You will be still be quite connected to what’s going on around you.
If your intent is a one-time event that’s very powerful, well, this is hard advice to give. The sane approach is to try a little at first to see what it’s like and how you respond, then go from there. If you really only want to trip once and have a very powerful experience, you may want to take more. Again, take this with a gigantic grain of salt, especially since I’m unsure of your source, dosage measurements and how you personally respond.
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What does this mean? Can you expand upon your goals, or what it means to “uncover” yourself?
The choices you get to make concern your reactions to their choices (your history) and the impacts those choices had on you.
My mother left me with my emotionally stunted father and sociopathic brother, so I developed trust issues. I don’t see myself as needing enlightenment, I see myself as needing to understand the history that is working on me when I’m overreactive to perceived threat, as well as needing to employ strategies to moderate the overreaction. More broadly, I need to frame the world and my life in a fashion that allows me to make sense of things so I don’t spin off into despair.
Good advice - actually thought about that myself.
Yes, of course.
I’m an attractive cat, and I very much like to win.
Okay, I have to win. Have to.
I want to let that go and connect to the world, to have a numinous experience, ineffable, transcendent, and feel connected.
Psychobabble. I did not choose to be abandoned and neglected as a child. I did not choose to have two older brothers that beat the shit out of me every day. I did not choose to have a mother discipline me with my fat ass father’s belt. I did not choose to be molested as a ten year old.
I didn’t get to choose any of that.
And, I really didn’t get to choose to drink a beer with my dad when I was eight. I really didn’t get to choose to self medicate as a teenager. It wasn’t a choice. It was survival.
And, I didn’t get to choose to be an alcoholic.
It was survival.
And you can CBT all the fuck you want, but those were not my choices.
Now, as a fifty five year old, with two youngish kids, I’m woke. Now I get to choose. But I have forty five years of habits to break and no amount of talk is going to change those habits.
Uncovering.
Mindfulness, meditation, breathing.
So miss Em, I’m a little angry, my apologies.
I think you get me though. I’m still doing CBT, still breathing, still meditating. And now, medicating as well.
Existentially exhausted.
Nah, it’s fine. I know lots of religious people.
You misunderstand me, or have such entrenched notions that you can’t read what I’m saying. What happened happened. Those are not your choices. Your choices have to do with TODAY.
So, for example, if you were in therapy with me a thing that would come up eventually is your tendency to self-denigrate. You regularly open potential disagreements here on the forums with some variation on “I’m not as good as you, but…” THAT would be a thing I would want to explore. Not whether you were/are culpable for a historic move into alcoholism (but we’d hit that, because forgiveness of self). What is the purpose, both primary and secondary, of the denigration? You would respond with something along the lines of that it’s just a politeness, humility, whatever, and I would go after whether it’s about your brothers growing up. And maybe it is and maybe it isn’t, but regardless, extinguishing that behavior would make potentially sweeping improvement to your sense of self and others, which would move you toward your goals of connectedness and reduced competitiveness. Because starting conversations with a shitty dig at yourself is not conducive to joy. There’s nothing psychobabble-y about that. CBT: impact of thoughts on feelings and actions. Attributions you make about what others are thinking or feeling; assumptions you make about yourself that may or may not be true or fair. An exploration of ideas, as the ones @T3hPwnisher posted above. I can easily spend an hour on “let your yes be yes and your no be no,” for example, because people can become entrenched in learned passive-aggression and that does not make for a happy life.
Also, tangential, but it popped into my head and I think it belongs in a discussion of effective interventions, research strongly supports that neither medication nor talk therapy alone are as effective in treating depression as the two combined. Which I think supports my contention that depression can have both or either lifestyle or chemical bases.
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This thread undoes some of the damage done by calisthenics threads and the like.
Thanks.
I get carried away sometimes, get way too woo woo, and defensive AF, but it’s a good outlet for me.
I appreciate that some find redeeming qualities in it.
I don’t think you do, actually. I enjoy reading your take on things, in large part because you and I see things so differently.
I’ve also wanted to talk about Van der Kolk’s work, and specifically about the breath/body work and whether my running has provided emotional benefit because of the breath piece.
Thanks for the response. I do think I get a little too into things, then move on. And, I don’t think we see things that differently. You’re more pragmatic than I and I suspect that is because you are more settled. I love your take on things.
There is no doubt that running provides emotional benefit, and I think it ties into Van der Kolk’s work, but not necessarily in the sense of breathwork. I think it’s more about connecting the mind, body, and spirit. Obviously, running releases hormones that are beneficial and helps to get you centered in your body, and increasing your respiration rates will make you healthier. It’s all a part of connecting mind, body and spirit.
Breathwork is a different animal altogether, in my opinion. There are a few different styles of breathwork - Holotropic and Transformational for example. Typically, it’s about an hour and a half or more. The first half hour or so is taking some inventory, explaining the process, and setting an intention.
Then there is the actual breathwork. In the modality in which I was trained, this would consist of the client laying down, with headphones and an eye mask (or just closing your eyes). It would be an hour of listening to music and breathing heavily. In my modality, in through the mouth and out through the mouth. Others use in through the nose and out through the mouth. The facilitator would support you on the journey, coaching you on your breathing to make sure you are breathing deeply, and supporting you as things come up. Frequently it involves encouragement to keep breathing and to keep breathing properly.
Stanislav Grof was one of the innovators, he trademarked and invented Holotropic Breathwork as a replacement for LSD therapy. He’s a Psychiatrist.
The idea is that the hour of breathwork will take you on a journey and the deep breathing will bring up emotions that you can work through. In my training, we prepare a playlist that starts off slow, rises to a peak at about half an hour, then slowly winds down. It can be very powerful.
Anthony Abbagnano is the founder of Alchemy of Breath. He offers a free breathwork every Sunday via Zoom, and typically has about 75 participants. I’m not sure if it’s okay if I post the link here, but I will anyway, since it is free.
You do have to register, but you get no spam from them, just announcements. If you’re leary about it, I will post my link when I get it tomorrow.
Zoom is easy to use. Just download it before and log in with your phone so you can lay down to do the breathwork. You can block your camera if you want, many do, many don’t.
If you are interested in other types of breathwork, I would highly recommend Dan Brule’s book Just Breathe. It has many other types of breathwork that can benefit you in just a few minutes, like 478, box breathing, and heart coherence breathing. Much of what I do with my students comes from that book.
Box breathing is also called Tactical breathing and is taught by the Navy Seals. I saw the General in charge of Afghanistan talk about it on “60 Minutes” and I figured if it was good enough for him, it was good enough for me.
Brule’ recommends two for ten and ten for two. Twice a day for ten minutes (morning and before bed), and ten times a day for two minutes.
So, I am sure running helps, a part of that is the breath, but you could enhance this by practicing Brule’s type of breathing, and also from actual breathwork.
I look forward to hearing back from you.
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Just reading and catching up. All this LSD talk is reminding me of Electric Kool Aid Acid Test. If you haven’t read it, listen to it on audible. It’s a great narration about Ken Keseys ‘trip’ across the US. …also… he’s a fellow Oregonian, @The_Myth.
Edit: you’re a English teacher, and Oregonian, I’m sure you’re familiar with him, his work, and later movies based on his work… which was also filmed in Oregon.
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So Ken Kesey and Timothy Leary got LSD banned. They were pretty irresponsible, just handing out LSD to anyone.
And, of course, the hippies rebelled and the man blamed it on LSD.
Now, LSD and mushrooms and ketamine are valid research. It’s coming back