[quote]FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
WHY MEN ARE SUPERIOR:
we dont have to make a thread announcing that we’re superior or fight for equal rights…because we make the fucking rules
/thread. man-pwnz
hahahaha. True.
And we have penises. [/quote]
I have no doubts you get a lot of dick
[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
WHY MEN ARE SUPERIOR:
we dont have to make a thread announcing that we’re superior or fight for equal rights…because we make the fucking rules
/thread. man-pwnz
hahahaha. True.
And we have penises.
I have no doubts you get a lot of dick
[/quote]
That doesn’t even kind of make sense. You speak Engrish?
Have
Get
A man once told you there was a difference.
[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
OIL CHANGING INSTRUCTIONS
WOMEN:
Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
Drink a cup of coffee.
15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
MEN:
Go to O’Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.
Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back to O’Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
Open a beer and drink it.
Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
Find jack stands under kid’s pedal car.
In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
Place drain pan under engine.
Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
Give up and use crescent wrench.
Unscrew drain plug.
Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
Clean up.
Have another beer while oil is draining.
Look for oil filter wrench.
Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
Beer.
Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow.
Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.
Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.
Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
Remember drain plug from step 11.
Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.
Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
Bang head on floor board in reaction.
Begin cussing fit.
Throw wrench.
Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December 1992.
Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
Beer.
Beer.
Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
Beer.
Lower car from jack stands.
Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
Drive car.[/quote]
Nope. $22 bucks for oil and filter and done in less than 20 minutes ya dig.
[quote]lostinthought wrote:
I wonder how much time was spent on the responses…? [/quote]
haha!
[quote]FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
OctoberGirl wrote:
FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
WHY MEN ARE SUPERIOR:
we dont have to make a thread announcing that we’re superior or fight for equal rights…because we make the fucking rules
/thread. man-pwnz
hahahaha. True.
And we have penises.
I have no doubts you get a lot of dick
That doesn’t even kind of make sense. You speak Engrish?
Have
Get
A man once told you there was a difference. [/quote]
oh I think it came across the way it was intended and it made perfect sense.
Laura Croft from the Tomb Raider game is soooo HOTTTTTT!!!
[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
WHY WOMEN ARE SUPERIOR
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it’s pathetic.
Men’s clothes make women look elfin and gorgeous. Men look like complete idiots in women’s clothes.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
Taxi’s stop for us.
Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
We know the Truth about whether or not size matters.
If we’re not making enough money we can blame it on the glass ceiling.
It’s possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival the male’s Speedo.
We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our teammate without ever grabbing her ass.
If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We don’t have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.
We know that there are times when chocolate really can solve all of your problems.
Gay waiters don’t make us uncomfortable.
We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.[/quote]
This only applies to hot women, women with big boobs, women with great asses or any combination of the previous mentioned.
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Cause they’re ugly and they stink.
[quote]championp wrote:
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Cause they’re ugly and they stink.[/quote]
AngryVader already made that joke in the not-jokes thread…
But good job!
Hahaha yea okay.
[quote]LiveFromThe781 wrote:
Fabregas wrote:
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
Do tell
if you have dirt shoes you dont care about your appearance.
if youre wearing certain shoes with certain clothes you either know how to dress or dont
expensive shoes make you seem wealthier
your type of shoes say what kind of person you are or click you try to fit into.
you dont have to be a women to know these things you just have to have an understanding of why people do what they do. …or just know shoes.[/quote]
i wear hunting camo water proof boots half laced up with the legs of my track pants jammed into them. what does this say about me?
[quote]schultzie wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
Fabregas wrote:
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
Do tell
if you have dirt shoes you dont care about your appearance.
if youre wearing certain shoes with certain clothes you either know how to dress or dont
expensive shoes make you seem wealthier
your type of shoes say what kind of person you are or click you try to fit into.
you dont have to be a women to know these things you just have to have an understanding of why people do what they do. …or just know shoes.
i wear hunting camo water proof boots half laced up with the legs of my track pants jammed into them. what does this say about me?[/quote]
It means in 2 years youre gonna become friends with a girl that you have truely feel in love with but you find out shes a lesbian so you attempt suicide. You survive the whole deal, and realize that you dont need her.
You buy 10 cats and live alone in a trailer for the rest of your live and balloon up to 1500lb. You become so fat they bury you with your trailer becuase they couldnt find a coffin that large.
That’ll be $40.
[quote]ahzaz wrote:
schultzie wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
Fabregas wrote:
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
Do tell
if you have dirt shoes you dont care about your appearance.
if youre wearing certain shoes with certain clothes you either know how to dress or dont
expensive shoes make you seem wealthier
your type of shoes say what kind of person you are or click you try to fit into.
you dont have to be a women to know these things you just have to have an understanding of why people do what they do. …or just know shoes.
i wear hunting camo water proof boots half laced up with the legs of my track pants jammed into them. what does this say about me?
It means in 2 years youre gonna become friends with a girl that you have truely feel in love with but you find out shes a lesbian so you attempt suicide. You survive the whole deal, and realize that you dont need her.
You buy 10 cats and live alone in a trailer for the rest of your live and balloon up to 1500lb. You become so fat they bury you with your trailer becuase they couldnt find a coffin that large.
That’ll be $40.[/quote]
i am looking foreward to this, thank you the money is in the mail
[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
FormerlyTexasGuy wrote:
LiveFromThe781 wrote:
WHY MEN ARE SUPERIOR:
we dont have to make a thread announcing that we’re superior or fight for equal rights…because we make the fucking rules
/thread. man-pwnz
hahahaha. True.
And we have penises.
I have no doubts you get a lot of dick
[/quote]
ROFLMAO!! How did I miss this thread!!
You know, it may well be that your IQ is higher than the sum of the two idiots who keep saying the stupid shit. In that case, a woman is superior.
My wife was a BIG 10 athlete, got her Phd and is now a tenured prof. She usually doesn’t read ‘The T’ but I think I’ll show her this thread.
Great thread, October Girl!