…“Did you go to the gym” my girl hears, “I hope you worked out today”
I was driving with the girl I’ve been seeing since feb. She lives 2 hours away, and she does bikini contests, pageants, she works out. I didn’t realize, me asking her “did you go to the gym” meant I was criticizing her. She let me know when we were driving home last week. I brought up the gym. I have taken a 6 weeks layoff for the summer, I have my daughter up for summer vacation, I’m 40, i’m taking a break after years of lifting (since HS).
I guess my asking if she went to the gym, meant to her, in her head, I hope you worked out, you don’t look good enough yet.
and I can’t discuss lifting with her, she thinks upright rows are a biceps and tricep movement, actually she calls it arm exercise.
Why don’t you ask her why she thinks that? Does she say that’s what she thinks you mean or is that your interpretation of her reaction? Why are you asking if she went to the gym? Is it just casual conversation?
We can guess all we want but she’d likely be the one to answer the question.
Sounds overly touchy to me. Stay away from a serious relationship with her, for your own sake.
That is NOT “normal, acceptable” behaviour if you’re considering being with her for any length of time. Me and my girl openly talk about lifting, goals, physique improvement, etc, all the time. She doesn’t take offense when I tell her how she can focus on a specific body part or lift. We have good communication, and take each other at face value, and it’s wonderful Really, her reading into what you say to her speaks of an underlying trust issue, if you think about it. A relationship without trust is no relationship at all.
[quote]debraD wrote:
Don’t you manage strippers for a living or something? I don’t think “normal, acceptable” can really apply in that case.
It’s not a way of life I can relate to so I can’t tell you what is going on with her, or the vibe you might be giving her.[/quote]
yes, she is a dancer. And thursday night, her and another dancer and the bouncer, talked about MY TASTE in girls bodies. I like in shape girls. they call it SKINNY. I call it in shape.
She is in shape, hawaiian tropic model. The other girl is tall 5’10" and losing weight. but still had too much of an ass for me and thighs.
I am a premium agency for dancers, they all should work out, eat clean.
I know she has issues, we all do, she seems to have many more than most.
By the way, every time I am with her, I tell her how great she looks, how beautiful, how I love to see her without make up. So I think the me judging her is her fabrication.
And if she thinks I like “skinny” girls, she’s incorrect, i have a girl who’s maybe 5’5" 134 lbs. great body, works out.
oh well, thanks for the input so far guys.
[quote]debraD wrote:
Don’t you manage strippers for a living or something? I don’t think “normal, acceptable” can really apply in that case.
It’s not a way of life I can relate to so I can’t tell you what is going on with her, or the vibe you might be giving her.[/quote]
Deb, I know you have your haters, and I’m really not one of them but GTFO.
You posted your tits in SAMA an hour ago. Strippers get a much smaller audience than the internet.
(and before you menz out there get too excited, she took it down already. I could hear the right-click-save going on from here. Yes they are real and they are spectacular)
[quote]debraD wrote:
Don’t you manage strippers for a living or something? I don’t think “normal, acceptable” can really apply in that case.
It’s not a way of life I can relate to so I can’t tell you what is going on with her, or the vibe you might be giving her.[/quote]
Deb, I know you have your haters, and I’m really not one of them but GTFO.
You posted your tits in SAMA an hour ago. Strippers get a much smaller audience than the internet.
(and before you menz out there get too excited, she took it down already. I could hear the right-click-save going on from here. Yes they are real and they are spectacular)[/quote]
haha (thank you btw )I never really thought about it like that but I do think it’s different in that I have a regular job and my guy has a regular job and physical appearance really isn’t my life or his.
I didn’t mean any judgment by the way, just that I can imagine the profession brings along a whole set of issues. I get stressed when my software has a bug and I really beat myself up over sometimes. If I were a stripper less than 100% confidence in my appearance would be a problem. Or if my guy was in the profession of telling some girls too fat too thin too xxx then things would be quite different. That’s all I’m saying.
I get what you mean Debra, that job must take a toll on a person’s esteem.
Considering that the OP admitted that he doesn’t like girls too thick and the gf knows this, I can understand why the gf blew the question out of proportion.
[quote]debraD wrote:
Don’t you manage strippers for a living or something? I don’t think “normal, acceptable” can really apply in that case.
It’s not a way of life I can relate to so I can’t tell you what is going on with her, or the vibe you might be giving her.[/quote]
Deb, I know you have your haters, and I’m really not one of them but GTFO.
You posted your tits in SAMA an hour ago. Strippers get a much smaller audience than the internet.
(and before you menz out there get too excited, she took it down already. I could hear the right-click-save going on from here. Yes they are real and they are spectacular)[/quote]
You are a cruel woman; it would have been better to never know that I missed an opportunity to see DebraD’s boobies
OP you’re basically a softcore pimp, so you know what kind of issues women tend to have in your industry. I’d look outside of your profession if you’re looking for a serious relationship.
If not have fun and remember to post stories and/or pics on SAMA
People who have to constantly have their value ascertained by their looks, can never separate who they are from what they look like. That’s why so many young guys in the gym can’t take criticism, and why so many women develop issues if their man is really into keeping himself in great shape. If she’s self conscious, whether you said anything or not, she will read into things that you say with her own insecurities.
It sounds like when it comes to looks and asthetics,shes really sensitive to the subject. More than she needs to be. As cheesy as it sounds,she has to work on her self esstem more than her looks because no amount of saline,belly tucks,or rib removal can fix her mentally.
Really, her reading into what you say to her speaks of an underlying trust issue, if you think about it. A relationship without trust is no relationship at all.
)I never really thought about it like that but I do think it’s different in that I have a regular job and my guy has a regular job and physical appearance really isn’t my life or his.