[quote]Westclock wrote:
Bunyip wrote:
CBear84 wrote:
CBear84 wrote:
It doesn’t matter whether you say you would, or wouldn’t. It doesn’t matter what you’ve already been through, or what kind of crazy asshole you’ve already dated.
If that woman in her apartment complex being raped, then murdered, was YOUR mother, wife, sister, daughter, girlfriend… what would you have wanted a stranger to do?
I see no need for interwebz name and character assassination, so I shan’t comment on anyone elses individual posts. I’m just ashamed at the amount of "Hell no!"s this thread has produced, and consider myself lucky to be surrounded by men who would, one way or another, attempt to stop something like that from happening. Even risking their own physical detriment.
Bunyip wrote:
It is sad that false stories like this keep circulating as truth.
My apologies that I picked a bad example to make my point.
Rather than focusing on the example, I’ll condense the idea I was trying to get across in my first post.
If it were a woman I cared about being beaten, I would hope that someone would try to interfere. In some way.
Its not your fault. Everyone buys that bad example, as I did when I first heard it. Its the same as the rule of thumb to beat woman myth. Everyone believes it and thinks of it as fact. I was just trying to point out the falsity that everyone now believes.
If it were a woman I cared about being beaten then I hope someone would help. However most male on female violence isn’t random attacks but is between two people in a relationship. If some random attacked my sister I’d kill him. But what if she keeps going back to abusive boyfriends. Not only would I spend my time beating them senseless but she would hate me for it. And I would essentially be running her life. I would be asserting my morals over her and saying that I knew what was in her best interests.
But how do I know whats in her best interests? How do I know I am right and she is wrong? I don’t have any greater knowledge or divine wisdom. I love my sister and I could use that as justification for not wanting to see her hurt.
Yet often women love the men who beat them. And if my sister loved her abuser does not that make her position as strong as mine?
So how can I justify my position other than by tyranny and moral arrogance?
However, when it comes to my family I am the eldest and very over protective and would certainly not stop to think all this through. Thankfully though my sister may hate me for beating her abusive senseless she would not take it any further.
But what about a random woman on the street? Sure she is somebody’s daughter. But what if I intervene and she calls the cops on me for beating up her abuser, whom she loves? Why risk it?
I am reminded of a story a friend told where he tried one day to intervene in such a situation and the woman attacked him for trying to defend her against her abuser.
To my way of thinking, when it comes to relationship violence (the majority of male on female violence) then I believe in two things:
- If she is with him let her reap what she has sown.
- Only help people who want to be helped.
Its a sad state of mind for someone who raised old fashioned and used to believe in white knight principles. But I believe very strongly in liberty and letting people make their own choices and deal with their consequences.
Thats why you wait for her to call for help or scream.
If someone calls for help your legal liability for assault goes right out the window.
Even if shes being beaten, but doesn’t scream or call for help, you beat her boyfriend and she/he then tries to press charges on you as you described, your still LEGALLY covered by “defense of another”, whether SHE WANTED your defense is irrelevant.
Your not legally liable.
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In theory yes, in practice, yeah right.
Law comes down to evidence or lack thereof. Legal theory sounds grand on paper but you try proving that you were defending a woman from being abused when she is saying the exact opposite and her abuser is backing her up. Real life isn’t law and order. Innocent people are found guilty. Run the risk at your own peril.
On an unrelated note:
“According to Hilbert and Hilbert (1984) and Strube (1998), an estimated half of women who have been involved in an abusive relationship will at some point return to the batterer (as cited in Martin, Berenson, Griffing, Sage, Madry, Bingham, & Primm, 2000).”
Taken from http://www.uwstout.edu/rs/2007/Abusive%20Relationships.pdf
Which, as I am trying to get across, means women make a conscious return to be with that person in the first place. Who are you to interfere with her choices?
The paper itself I linked to is shit and not worth reading. All that matters is that number fifty percent. If you do bother reading the link, here’s a few things for consideration:
- Research done by Schutte et al (1987) is baised because sample was taken from women’s shelter hence the results are skewed in favour of financial reasons as a motive for returning to abusers. It is probable that only poorer women would need shelters anyway. Financially secure women would be elsewhere (expensive hotel if I were one) and thus are probably not adequately represented in the study.
-Griffing et al (2002) - From the sounds of it the same criteria apply as above.
-The paper itself is bullshit. All it does is ask a random sample of college women how well they believe the current theories as to why women return to their abusers. It does not actually tackle the truth or falsity of those theories.
In short, the paper is a waste of time and the only reason I link to its the best source for proving my point I could find off hand.