Eh, so much time. All those little things to trip over…
The race profile:
Sure, it’s a net downhill, but there is still a mountain to climb between the start and finish.
Sure, it’s a net downhill, but there is still a mountain to climb between the start and finish.
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That looks brutal.
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My brain will even start telling me that only x amount of minutes have passed since I decided not to train. It’s not too late to change your mind! Are you sure you don’t know want to just get it done?
I’ve had to reason with myself that if I’m fretting this much about it, it’s good decision training to NOT train and I should ignore that voice. Being confident and decisive can be a trained skill all on its own.
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I have none training days, but fun is permitted. The performance is measure on fun factor. Those are bike ride, hiking, maybe skiing this winter and do f**k all day.
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This is me as well.
Your question made me think that one of the things that’s been shifting over these two years of changes that I keep talking about (switch from primarily cardio to primarily strength, food focus on reducing inflammation and +protein rather than weight loss) has been the way I manage scheduling. At some point you and I each made the decision to go to three days of lifting. I think you were training for the race and I was feeling creaky and overwhelmed. Plus the weather was nice and we both wanted to play outside. I sometimes lift more than 3X, but I do plan rest days. Wednesday was one such for me. I wound up walking quite a bit during an open block at work (ran errands on foot) but would have been completely content to have a 4K step day had I not had the cancellation. That’s a big shift for me. I stopped tracking steps after getting too OCD about it. Having a couple of sick days completely destroyed my averages and it messed with my head. I’m much happier without that.
I find I deeply enjoy my planned off days, the way I enjoy vacation for its complete relaxing of the rules. We’re always active on vacation, I generally prefer healthier choices at restaurants, and the rest will take care of itself when I return home and return to business. The rest days and normalizing of family time as NOT a diet time (but again, I do feel protective over my body in terms of not undoing changes I’ve worked hard for) have made my life much more joyous. I love having little bursts of freedom, and find myself happily putting the yoke back on when it’s time.
So what I believe is happening is that I’m finding my way to a more sustainable structure. I don’t have to be off or on, which is to some extent how I’ve worked throughout my adulthood. Generally not completely off, which happened during covid for me, but trudging up to the treadmill and whining in my head about why I have to be special (miserable) while everyone else can enjoy burgers and ice cream and NOT running without feeling guilty or bad. I carried a lot of bitterness, because it was - I think - genuinely hard to be me! It was never good enough, no matter how many miles I ran, because you (the general you, anyone more ambitious or fit than me) were doing so much more. So:
*Not tracking weights is a gift I’ve given myself. I always thought I had to if I was going to be serious. (Do it right!) I’m aware I’m increasing weight, but not counting and messing with a log allows me to just enjoy myself without pressure to remember anything or put up numbers. Now I’m getting from lifting what I used to get from running - time with myself, using my body in ways that feel challenging and good. I’m always going to try to increase as that’s my nature. But now I do it without external pressure.
*Lifting 3-4 times a week and not worrying that the program is arranged in five day blocks (Girvan herself will say “do you!”) is a gift I’ve given myself.
*My decision to stop needing steps is a gift I’ve given myself. I’m still aware of it, but I’ve stopped requiring anything - and what’s interesting is that my average is about the same. I just don’t stress over it as it is not required. I like walking. I do it when I can. Why would I set myself up to fail a thing I like and will happily do? (Compulsion. Do it right!)
*My decision to try the GLP is a gift I’ve given myself. I’ve never allowed myself cheat codes of any kind, in any arena of importance to me. It’s been helpful. After Christmas I’ll stop it and see what happens. Probably that will mean tracking again, but if so my goal will be to stop doing it as soon as I find my balance.
*Feeling that a rest day is a delicious treat is also a gift I’ve given myself.
It’s -8 here this morning and I’m thinking about lifting because a long walk is off the table. I find the indecision over it a bit painful, honestly.
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Your response hit on so many good points it’s hard to pick just a few. I think we have had enough chats, emails and call to know we have very similar responses/compulsive behaviors when it comes to exercise and food.
This correlation is great. It also made me realize how much I have tainted vacations making sure I get lifts in. My hubby and I drove an extra hour on our Thanksgiving trip to find a different location of our chain gym because the one we planned on going to turned out to be closed. Why didn’t we just not train?
I could go for a burger right now. And tomorrow. And… You get it.
You have said this before, and I find myself in the same thought pattern. There are days I want to throw in the towel and eat EVERYTHING that I want.
Why do I have to automatically count the calories in the Lady Fingers my coworker’s Italian Grandmother made? Why can’t I eat ten without a care in the world like he did? Instead, I stare at the bag he was kind enough to bring to the office and share, and say it’s not worth the extra cardio.
I can’t let myself look like the general population. Or be sick, stiff and weak like them. But boy does it look tasty…
My gift has been writing my own programs. I’m not changing and losing the essence of any great program because it’s mine, I can change whatever I want, as often as I see fit.
Seeing you try this has led me look into it. Not sure how to grab an Rx for it yet. Even a little help with my nearly insatiable appetite would be awesome. Can I take the food noise from shouty to an inside voice please?
I love that you called these points gifts. I need to give myself more gifts and grace. All I generally serve myself is a negative talk, or an “atta girl” at best.
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Thursday 12/4
Glute-Mass-tastic W5D4
Dips
10, 10, 9, 8 x BW-20
SS
Pull Ups
8, 8, 8 x BW-20
Pendlay Row
10 x 95, 9, 8 x 85
Lat Raise
15, 15, 10 x 10
Rear Delt cable fly
15, 13, 13 x 13
OH Cable Tri Ext
12 x 25, 11, 10 x 20
Cable Bicep Curls
12 x 25, 12, 12 x 20
Conditioning, 12 min AMRAP:
400m Skierg
8 Hang clean and press
20 KBS
Made 3 rounds + 200m ski
Then: 15mins easy stairmill
Dips and pull ups creeping up, I’m getting so close to using bodyweight.
Pendley rows remain sticky. I even dropped the weight to keep the reps clean. Then I did fewer reps. We’ll say I’m always wearing myself out on the pullups?
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Friday 12/5
Race Pace Run
Legs were feeling tired, but they still nailed the paces! Go little legs.
Had hubby film some running. I’m not a gait professional by any means, but I thought my PT might take a look at them. See if I have improved my hip shift vs. Pivoting around on the balls of my feet.
Easy jog:
8:00/mi pace
I keep getting distracted by my bouncey bun and the fact that my arms are on completely different missions. What is lefty doing? Why is righty so stiff?
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I don’t know anything about running, but I do know swole shoulders and backs when I see them—and I see them.
You’re looking great—keep up the good work!
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I thought the same thing! It took me time to play the clip because I was admiring her back.
@unicornsandrainbows, I don’t know anything about gait either, but as for the arms, I read years ago that the arms should be relaxed, with hands open and at about hip height.
For stuff like this I consider whether the least painful option would be to partake or decline. Could I enjoy one or two, then pop a piece of gum in and go back to my office, or is a door not worth opening? If I go for it completely and eat ten, can I pull back just a bit tomorrow and it all even out, given the workouts I’ve ALREADY done?
You won’t qualify for a prescription, so you’d have to self-pay (around $70/mo). I wouldn’t do that at your weight/size. I’m going to have to figure out how to maintain after Christmas, because I wanted it to get the last 15 pounds off. It’s too expensive to remain on, and I don’t want to continue losing muscle growth along with the fat, so I need to work out maintenance. Maybe at my age I’ll have to spend a couple of months on it once a year. We’ll see.
Yes, because this is YOUR life. Your one shot (presumably) at living a good (by your own measure) life.
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@SvenG @EmilyQ aw you guys, thank you for the swole nod!
Perfectly put. YOLO. Why get caught up in nuance if the shoe doesn’t fit in the first place?
I kept the door closed. I don’t know moderation, when the bag is open, it isn’t walking away from me with a crumb left.
But also becuase, hubby and I have his work holiday party tonight. So, we are getting our dessert coffee first (again, yolo) THEN pigging out on free steak.
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I’m way over that.
I fcking hate training at this point.
I’ll still do it though to get results.
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This, my friend, IS moderation, at least as I practice it. NOPE, got something better coming than treats at work, so I’m good! Although I have to acknowledge here that I have no idea what a Lady Finger is or what level of temptation they present. It honestly sounds kind of gross to me, like some sort of bad cookie-cake with whipped cream. Hold on, lemme google… OH. Looks like I did kind of know: “Ladyfingers or Naples biscuits, in British English sponge fingers…” English sponge fingers, hahaha. “Low-density, dry, egg-based, sweet sponge cake biscuits roughly shaped like large fingers.” Not to yuck your yum, but I think you made the right decision. 
Oh the other hand, joking aside, you probably could have eaten ten without doing much damage. Sponge cake is super light, calorically speaking.
I hope you had fun at the party!
Oh, speaking of which…I quit smoking at around your age, and popped on a quick ten pounds, as did my ex-husband. We did the South Beach diet, which is just low carb and low fat. It was effective. But during that time a neighbor had a party, to which we went. One of her friends owned a very good restaurant with her husband and was the pastry chef. She made a deeply chocolate cake that looked astonishingly good, and there was also strawberry shortcake, which in season where I live should be eaten whenever possible, as we come correct with that particular dish locally. Homemade biscuits, freshly whipped cream, and awesome strawberries from the farm nearby. Ex and I abstained, and in fact left early to walk home because it was hard. We later agreed that we’d been stupid.
I have jokingly referred to it ever since as one of my “if ever I’m reincarnated” re-dos. I will, given a second chance, eat that chocolate cake AND have a bit of strawberry shortcake. Because - WE WEREN’T EVEN FAT! I’d maybe hit 135 lbs at 5’7". I was active AF with my four kids and five acres and miles and miles of walk or run (I started running around this time).
Epilogue: Mr. and Mrs. Chef Henry catered my wedding to my current husband, which was a small, VERY casual backyard thing. The only things we spent real money on were booze and the food. Best wedding ever. I ate that cake. So I guess it was my reincarnation re-do.
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I would have the same regret! Life is ultimately so short. I don’t want to be unhealthy/immobile/fat. However, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and sometimes, you just need the eat the damn cake.
Had your cake and ate it too, I love a happy ending 
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Saturday 12/6
Long Run, Trail
7.3mi, 1:14.50
Last 2 miles goal pace: 8:00/mi
Actual: 8:39/mi
Little cold to start, breezy, cloudy. Had the trail to myself, just me and the wind in the trees.
New trail to me, it was a good one, I’ll be back.
Didn’t quite hit the pace today. The effort was there, but between the hills and rock gardens, that was a check I couldn’t cash. Maybe next time.
Sunday 12/7
Glute-Mass-tastic W6D1
Roger Squat
6, 6, 9 x m+160
SS
Standing Calf Raise
18, 16, 16 x135
RDL
7, 6, 6 x 195
SM BSS
12 x m+30, 8, 9 x m+40
Leg Extension
18, 11-4 x 100-90
45 Hypers
15x30+3BW
15x30+2BW
11x30+4BW
+30 minutes Spin Bike
Went into this feeling tired and a bit junky. Surprisingly good performance, considering. I did have my favorite restaurant the night before, rocket fuel!
Squats keep taking off, I’m loving seeing plates fly back up out of the hole.
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I didn’t think it bounced that much… oh you said bun
Nice shot of those runners calves too.
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But which bun am I referring to? 
I never skip calf day.
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Now you have me rthinking about all different types of buns, but mostly I am thinking about cream buns…hmmm cream buns
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Monday 12/8
RUNch
10:00 easy
3 x 3:00 hard, 2:00 rec
5:00 easy
Total: 3.25 mi, 30:20
Legs and lungs were cooked by round 1.5.
Later:
Glute-Mass-tastic W6D2
Incline Bench Press
7, 7, 7, 6 x 95
Close Grip Lat Pulldown
10, 9, 8 x 105
SS
Incline Bicep Curls
13, 11 x 15
Seated Machine Row
10, 9, 8, 8 x 105
Cable Lateral Raise
15, 15, 13 x 7.5
Rear Delt Fly
14, 13, 12 x 13
Cable Crunches
3 x 15 x 80
Conditioning, 12 min AMRAP, add rep each round, 50lb BB
200m Row
4 Hang clean
4 Push Press
4 Front squat
Made it through rep 8 push press, 12:11
Then: 25min EASY spin bike
Bench and I remain on sticky terms. No improvements there.
Pulling moves are slowly increasing.
I was tapped out by the time cardio rolled around. My heart rate was so low it didn’t count as cardio as much as labeling it “better than sitting on the couch”.
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Tuesday 12/9
Recovery Run
4 miles, 41:23
Ave HR, 131
Heavy leg day. Did this as a rise and run, fasted. Followed by a huge breakie sando. Felt great to start the day this way again. Warm morning too, 50F, weird for December, but I am loving it!
I feel like I am complaining a lot this week, the theme has been that none of my workouts have felt great. I’ve been sore all week, nauseous and dizzy between meals. Generally not feeling peppy. I don’t know if I am fighting a bug or not recovering.
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