[quote]orion wrote:
So, for now, we have a 21,22, 25, and 26 year old loling, if not rofling.
Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh…
[/quote]
Well, technically, Kev and Chris had me lol’ing.
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:
AC i am normally in line with your comments but these are heavy narcissistic comments. Damn man what happened.[/quote]
Reality. [/quote]
Who’s reality?
I believe AC is arguing that it is OK to step out on your marriage if you are discrete about it.
It isn’t lying if she doesn’t know.
Forget about loyalty and fidelity, and keeping your word to someone like your word means something. If the sex isn’t great, you are off the hook and cheating is cool. And no worries, you’re still a quality man.
I think that’s the message to the Hero with Herpes.
[quote]doogie wrote:
Never ok. Man up and get rid of her first.[/quote]
Truth. Thread over.
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
No fault divorce makes it a moot point about who cheat’s first, so who gives a fuck? [/quote]
I would think any man that lives his life by a certain set of principles, a code if you will, would care. [/quote]
I agree, and I say that as someone who has confronted the question of a sexless marriage WITH a spouse who’d cheated, presumably in an effort to find a way to excite himself. Ultimately the conclusion I came to was that my own standards of behavior would not be met if I went outside the marriage. I did not think it was enough reason to blow up a family, so resolved to accept the status quo.
Ultimately the marriage ended anyway. We were separated for four months before we officially called it quits and I don’t think it was even two months after the decision that I had my first-ever fling. I feel very comfortable with my behavior - there was no betrayal involved as far as I’m concerned, though I’m sure he wasn’t thrilled. I felt and still feel that I’d spent long enough locked in a tower by myself and nothing was served by my waiting.
He struggles with the same problem post-divorce. He moved to Taiwan to be with a woman and that crashed and burned, too, with sex again an issue. I am inclined to believe that marriages that become sexless for more than a brief time (let’s say six months barring illness, a libido-suppressing drug, or a string of pregnancies) are going to stay that way. Something is wrong with one of the partners or the match is not a good one.
But back to ethical behavior - AC, I’m surprised at you. What happened to honesty?[/quote]
I would never lie about it. But I would certainly be discreet. I stated up there already that I wouldn’t lie about it…
[/quote]
Sorry, married partners owe each other fiduciary duties, i.e., duties of loyalty, trust and disclosure. Failing to disclose material facts is exactly the same as telling an affirmative lie when you owe fiduciary duties.
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
[quote]Spidey22 wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
Well, you seem to be 25.
Wait a few years, lets see how unaffected you really are. [/quote]
Yeah Ryan watch out, when you hit 32 your parents divorce is going to REALLY start to tear you apart lololol[/quote]
lol’d[/quote]
Even I lol’d.
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]rores28 wrote:
people are fanning the hate flames way too vigorously for something that it is a rather mundane occurrence. All because sex is inexplicably elevated to some strange spiritual level of significance[/quote]
Not inexplicably at all, but rather evolutionarily. Men more so than women, because obviously women know if a child is theirs or not rofl. Your biological prime directive, like that of all life, is to pass on your genes. So for most men, nature hardwires a pretty strong desire for what we would call fidelity in modern society. There is a primal part of your brain that wants very badly for you to be sure the genes getting passed on are your own. A strong aversion to cheating is the result of this.[/quote]
Call me a crazy dreamer, but I expect ALL the fidelities in a marriage. Sexual, emotional, and financial (don’t spend down our savings or take on credit without my knowledge or consent). I’m not sure the latter two are biological imperatives.
I’m lol’ing over here as well.
[quote]Powerpuff wrote:
[quote]orion wrote:
[quote]ryanbCXG wrote:
AC i am normally in line with your comments but these are heavy narcissistic comments. Damn man what happened.[/quote]
Reality. [/quote]
Who’s reality?
I believe AC is arguing that it is OK to step out on your marriage if you are discrete about it.
It isn’t lying if she doesn’t know.
Forget about loyalty and fidelity, and keeping your word to someone like your word means something. If the sex isn’t great, you are off the hook and cheating is cool. And no worries, you’re still a quality man.
I think that’s the message to the Hero with Herpes.
[/quote]
I know where he is coming from, sometimes women kind of know but do not want to know.
Now him going the full disclosure route would be telling her things she knows but does not want to know.
Why?
Hell, there are women that explicitly tell you that can you do whatever you want, but they dont want to know!
I’m laughing at all Lanky’s posts, just because I picture it all in Danny Tanner’s voice.
You guys love to twist shit…
[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
These threads are always kind of funny, and I find it even amusing that the guys in here refuse to take any responsibility for the reasons of a sexless marriage. As others have said, if you’re in a sexless marriage, chances are there are other problems involved and chances are very good that the husband and wife both play a significant role in those problems. But now it’s all the wife’s fault instead of looking at the underlying reasons for the lack of sex.
[/quote]It doesn’t matter what the problems are. Sex is just sex. If there are problems in the marriage, deal with them. I’m not saying there aren’t marriages with problems and I’m assuming that there is good communication happening. If that’s the case, and the wife is still not putting out, why the fuck would any man just say, “ok, I guess I’ll just cut off my ball now and live a sex-less life. Maybe she’ll change her mind one day”. Cuz that’s what you guys are saying he SHOULD do. Fuck that.[quote]
AC - your position about it not being a lie of omission because you don’t say anything might be technically sound on its face, but wouldn’t work in practice (at least in my marriage). My wife knows where I am at all times because that’s how close we are.
[/quote]Every marriage is different. I am NOT advocating deception! Fuck, how many times do I have to say it? DON’T LIE ABOUT IT! Can everybody fucking read? [quote]
If I come home and she asks about my day or I tell her I have an after hours work function to go sleep with someone else, at some point in time a question will arise that she will find out what I’m up to unless I lie about it. I’m not sure how much communication is normal for a marriage as I only have 1, but I can’t imagine the NEVER lie about anything scenario lasting for very long in a marriage with at least half way decent communication.
Lastly, I really think I have a naturally low sex drive. I’ve never felt so sex crazed or addicted or like I needed it so bad I’d be willing to stray. Sometimes she’s in the mood, sometimes she’s not. Either way, I’ll be ok. [/quote]
Sometimes she is and sometimes she isn’t is NORMAL. What isn’t normal is “she’s NEVER interested”. THAT’S what’s being discussed here.
[quote]LankyMofo wrote:
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
If a woman does not give her man sex, then she is, by HER ACTIONS, condoning him getting pussy elsewhere… How is this even debatable? [/quote]
Lol, I think you and I have different definitions of condoning, a different interpretation of the vows a husband and wife make, and a completely different understanding of the underlying reasons there may be no sex in a marriage. We’ll have to agree to disagree on this one. [/quote]
If your wife cut you off and just STOPPED having sex with you, you’d be OK with that? Forever? Maybe you do have a low sex drive.
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
Well if the follow up question is “which friend?” and you say, “Rick” (assuming you aren’t fucking Rick) then you have lied… This isn’t rocket science guys. A LIE is a LIE. An unspoken agreement to be discreet is just that. If a woman does not give her man sex, then she is, by HER ACTIONS, condoning him getting pussy elsewhere… How is this even debatable? [/quote]
What if there’s no follow up question because his wife trusts him to be honest and faithful? He did promise to be after all.
Every marriage begins with a spoken agreement to be faithful. How many marriages have an “unspoken agreement to be discreet?” The idea to me is ludicrous. If you have a spoken agreement to be discrete/open, then fine. I’ve got no problem with that.
[/quote]Marriages evolve. I am proposing that SEX isn’t the biggest part of it. If you get along with your spouse, have children, have assets, have mutual obligations etc… it may NOT be in your best interest to get divorced. If that’s the case, I propose you talk to your wife, let her know that you will be getting sex elsewhere and that DISCRETION is expected on both sides. How hard is that to fucking understand? Nowhere did I say to lie. Nowhere did I say to deceive.[quote]
This is some crazy mental gymnastics here. If she isn’t having sex with her husband she is condoning he get it elsewhere, whut??
It’s debatable because there isn’t a exclusion clause in any marriage vows I’ve ever heard that says something along the line of, “If she isn’t coming with the pussy correct you are free to get pussy elsewhere.”
[/quote]There may not be an exclusion clause, but it’s certainly something that you can add after the fact of her shutting her legs[quote]
[quote]
“Coming correct with the pussy” means the the WIFE meet’s the HUSBAND’S sexual needs.
And if our hero isn’t “coming correct with the cock”, then I’m sure his wife will help him get there. IF SHE’D FUCK HIM. WHICH SHE ISN’T…[/quote]
If she isn’t, “Coming with the pussy correct,” he should be free to go elsewhere (in your opinion), but if he isn’t, “Coming correct with the cock,” it’s her job to help him get there? Why is it on her in both cases?
And what does, “the WIFE meet’s the HUSBAND’S sexual needs,” mean? So if I want to bang my wife in her ass and she says no am I free to cheat? She’s not meeting my needs. If my needs include sex twice a day seven days a week and she can’t keep up, am I free to cheat?
What if a husband only has enough stamina to go for two minutes twice a week, is the wife free to cheat?
In this particular situation my guess is his wife found out he has herpes or that he’s been cheating on her for years, which he’s detailed on here before. [/quote]
You can build any scenario you want to strawman me. But that’s not what I’m saying. I am NOT promoting deception. I am NOT putting the onus on a woman to fix anything. I am saying that if she doesn’t want to have sex with you then you can still get laid and keep your marriage. But in order for that to work, you should be discreet. OBVIOUSLY if it’s good enough for HIM to fuck other people, he should be fine with HER fucking other people. DUHHHHH!
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
[quote]angry chicken wrote:
If a woman does not give her man sex, then she is, by HER ACTIONS, condoning him getting pussy elsewhere… How is this even debatable?
[/quote]
Ok, I cant let this one go. No one takes a vow regarding how much sex they get when they get married. If you added that one in then I guess you may have a point. And who’s to say that the reason she isn’t putting out is because of something lacking in her husband, IE he has the emotional maturity of 14yr old who thinks “Gotta get my dick wet bruh” supercedes all other marital issues.
Maybe that is the wife’s way of saying “I think you have some issues with sex, women, and possibly your mom that you are masking with sex that lacks intimacy, and running away from that maybe you need to get right before you can be a man worthy of respect.”
Or maybe she found a thread on T-Nation where you asked a bunch of random internet guys if you should tell your wife that you have herpes and HPV.
[/quote]
I think I’ve explained myself enough. If you require detail, let me know.
[quote]LoRez wrote:
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
This thread and the 20 other ones that mirror it, kind of depresses me. I’ll leave it at that. [/quote]
Same here.
Past a certain stage, but still long before marriage, I assume things are exclusive. Breaking that exclusiveness is “cheating” even without marriage. At the very least, it should involve some discussion of needs/desires before any action is taken. If you’re both ok with an open relationship, fine, but I wouldn’t assume it’s open just because. If one party is not getting what they want, it’s important to find a solution that’s acceptable by both partners.
But this seems to be a minority opinion.[/quote]
If one party is not getting what they want, it’s important to find a solution that’s acceptable by both partners.
If one party is not getting what they want, it’s important to find a solution that’s acceptable by both partners.
If one party is not getting what they want, it’s important to find a solution that’s acceptable by both partners.
If one party is not getting what they want, it’s important to find a solution that’s acceptable by both partners.
If one party is not getting what they want, it’s important to find a solution that’s acceptable by both partners.
If one party is not getting what they want, it’s important to find a solution that’s acceptable by both partners.
ANY QUESTIONS?
Because NO SEX certainly wouldn’t be acceptable to ME
[quote]rores28 wrote:
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
This thread and the 20 other ones that mirror it, kind of depresses me. I’ll leave it at that. [/quote]
The sad truth is something like 50% of people will be unfaithful in at least one long-term relationship throughout their life. From personal experience I honestly guess that number to be an underestimate. I’ve seen it happen so frequently from so many perspectives I would put the figure closer to 75-80%. Does it make for an optimal situation? No, but people are fanning the hate flames way too vigorously for something that it is a rather mundane occurrence. All because sex is inexplicably elevated to some strange spiritual level of significance[/quote]
Hater’s gonna hate and twist shit - that’s just the internet. The white horse brigade is strong here. People LOVE to invent shit that I wrote, even when I deliberately wrote the opposite. But they’ll keep building their strawmen.
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
[quote]csulli wrote:
[quote]rores28 wrote:
people are fanning the hate flames way too vigorously for something that it is a rather mundane occurrence. All because sex is inexplicably elevated to some strange spiritual level of significance[/quote]
Not inexplicably at all, but rather evolutionarily. Men more so than women, because obviously women know if a child is theirs or not rofl. Your biological prime directive, like that of all life, is to pass on your genes. So for most men, nature hardwires a pretty strong desire for what we would call fidelity in modern society. There is a primal part of your brain that wants very badly for you to be sure the genes getting passed on are your own. A strong aversion to cheating is the result of this.[/quote]
Call me a crazy dreamer, but I expect ALL the fidelities in a marriage. Sexual, emotional, and financial (don’t spend down our savings or take on credit without my knowledge or consent). I’m not sure the latter two are biological imperatives.
[/quote]
Our savings!!!
[quote]spar4tee wrote:
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
75-80%, no way I buy that. [/quote]
Same.[/quote]
You guys are living in fantasy land if you think that 75% of women have NEVER CHEATED. LMAO
[quote]Broncoandy wrote:
lol @ dudes giving wife a “fuck me now OR ELSE!” ultimatum.
Forcing an unwilling woman to have sex with you is SO much better than doing it with one who is eager. Enjoy your rape Lancelot.[/quote]
Now I’m RAPING her if she puts out! Gotta love it! Wow…
Best strawman of the night award goes to YOU!