That girl I used to see on my bus shopped at my Safeway on fri. night & she probably doesn’t even live in the area (it’s nowwhere near the bus route). After she left, a cashier called me up front & said ‘a tall dark-haired girl says hi’. I could have talked to her while she was shopping, but ran in the back & hid like a coward. I know I better do something before friday, can’t leave it too long. WHen I see her again, what do I say because I know who she is & she knows who I am (one of her friends probably told her where I work), but we haven’t said much more than hi before.
Geez man, what the hell are you afraid of? She’s not going to kill you and eat you if you speak to her. Obviously she is at least a little attracted to you. I can relate to you with the shyness issue, formerly being shy myself. But for goodness sake, just go talk to her! QUit putting so much stress on yourself. Just talk to her like a friend. Make some jokes, and smile.
Start with “Sorry I missed you when you were at the store. My name is _______. And yours?” Then just go form there. Ask questions about HER, be interested in HER. Even if she asks questions about you, give fairly short answers and turn it back around to HER. Keep the conversation on HER. (Am I sounding too repetetive here? Getting the idea?) She’ll think you’re a brilliant conversationalist. Use the acronym FORM. FOR are the conversation topics to ask questions about Family, Occupation (or school as appropriate), Recreation. Then drop a Message, like “Want to get together for lunch some time?” Then go from there.
um…no one is going to tell you exactly what to say. Just be yourself, she’s probably just as nervous as you are…
Natey, bro, You already know she’s interested. That’s your green light. Talk her up, grab a bite, whatever. Just treat her like a normal person (albeit one you want to hook up with). Don’t sweat being nervous-that’s normal. But DO try and relax. Women are DRAWN to confidence. It’s irresistable. Just don’t come off as a macho jerk and you’ll do fine. This sounds goofy as all hell but if you need to, give yourself a pep talk before you see her. Remember, even if you fall flat on your face (and I know from experience) everything will be fine. The sun will still rise tomorrow, you’ll still train, etc. After all, she’s only another human being. What’s the worst she could do?
Dammmit man if the chic is stalking you the ball is in your court!!! Just say “Hi” then talk with her about anything for a few mins then ask if she want to catch a movie or a coffee or something. Done deal. You have no excuses. Remember I’m the only one on t-mag that can pass up perfectly good women and have a good excuse. You don’t have an excuse in this case. Don’t let her get away!
Keago “the fuuuck docter”
If I see her on the bus again, I’ll only have about 10mins to talk to her. Should I talk more before I see if she wants to do something? If I see her at school it would be easier. What if she’s with a buddy? That’s one reason I didn’t talk to her at the store.
i only have one bit of advice, NO movie! you can’t talk and can’t get to know each other. get coffee / drinks/ whatever. (sure, afterwards you could talk about the movie, but sometimes that backfires.) start with a place you can hang out and chat.
Nate,
Sounds like you are in good shape here man. I agree with the other comments. The only thing I can add is don’t think too much. Sounds like you are suffering from paralysis by analysis. Get it done man.
don’t think about the time when you hid like a coward. It’s in the past. Just pretend it didn’t happen. In fact, it wouldn’t make a difference if it did happen. Anyway, offer her to take her somewhere exciting. Like a pottery store where you make you’re own pottery. Or maybe a nature hike. Can’t you tell I watch too much of that show Blind Date?
I am now thirty and in my infinite old man wisdom I tell to take things one step at a time. When she is around next time, take one step toward her, and then another until you are right up in front of her, whatever you say won’t matter, being embarassed or awkward won’t matter much either. Just do it.
And as Michelle said, you need to go somewhere where you can have a decent conversation. Loud clubs and the movies are a bad idea. Although dinner and a movie isn’t bad, as after sitting through dinner you may run out of things to say. Then you go to the movie and when you leave the movie you have the movie to talk about.
Good God man how old are you? I hope not yet twenty. The voice of experience is here to tell you just go for it—don’t puss out and hide in the back of the store. When you live to be old like me (41) you will realize that what you regret in life are not the chances you took or the things that you did, but the things you did not do.
How old are you 15? If you’re interested go talk to her. If she is indeed the one who left the message it’s obvious she wants to get to know you. Tell her you were happy that she left the message and that you had noticed her as well. Compliment her for being the one to make the first move. Put yourself in her position. Letting someone know you like them is a vulnerable position to be in. Treat her like you would want to be treated and if you’re not interested please you can say the same things while letting her know how you feel.
Hey man let us know if ya get the babe. I’m rooting for ya. Good luck man. 
Natey, remember the three C’s…be cool, calm and collective. Don’t start freaking out. If you run out of things to say or find yourself being choked up, calmly look at her and ask “What do you think?” This will not only give you insight as to what she’s thinking but you’ll also get a glimpse of what she wants you to think…get it? WEll, I won’t ask your age cause I find my self getting all embarrASSed at clubs when I go out and a girl stares. I would wish you luck but Natey, you don’t need it, you’re a T-Man. T-Men don’t need luck, they make it happen! Make it happen Natey. Look forward to your response.
mike1princecharming, what to do you mean by being collective? You’re advice on asking her what she thinks during those awkward moments is one of the greatest piece of advice I’ve ever heard. Thanks for the tip. I am definately gonna use it. You are a T-Man!
Actually, it’s calm, cool and COLLECTED. Meaning keeping yourself together.
I think it’s collected - basically meaning don’t freak out. I agree with everyone else. But - don’t go see a movie - do something fun and creative.
I found out when & where her classes are tomorrow & I’ll see if I can wait outside for a few hours. I’ll have a full report.
NATEY NATEY NATEY!!!