I am just wondering how our answers will vary. I know the question is vague, but that is by design!
For me, No debt, self employed, a job where my pay is based on my work directly (commission), a kick ass garage and gym, enough money to have few sweet cars. decent house. no wife.
Not to rain on your parade, but everything you mentioned is external. You won’t know happiness until you learn that none of those things you mention bring happiness. In fact, the one thing that can bring true lasting happiness - a deep connection with another human being - you explicitly exclude.
I think the idea that we all should be happy is pernicious and should be stamped out at every opportunity. I think we should strive for what I consider peaceful contentedness and true happiness would be fleeting, much like true sadness or true anger.
Happiness is finding a bird that will stick her finger in your ass during oral sex.
-Jack Urbroardy, 201x
I agree.
The premise that we should always be happy doesn’t sit well with me. I think it leads many people to believe that not feeling happy is a bad thing.
I think this kind of thinking leads you to feel emotions on an extreme- either you’re happy or you’re in some decidedly negative mood. This is not good.
In fact,this is why I found Inside Out so amazing when I watched it- The movie seems to attempt to straight-out state that it’s ok to not be happy all the fucking time. In fact,trying to be happy all the time can be poisonous. That’s… pretty amazing for a kid’s movie, never-mind a movie at all.
Heck, even supposed adult films seem to be stuck in this state of extremes- either things are always going to turn out good or things are always going to be bad, and all the associated emotions with it.
I’d revise the question to ask when you’re content, as Dr_Pangloss seems to be implying.
I am quite content with living with a roof over my head with access to a kitchen/fridge and running water and a working sewage system.
That and having entertaining things to read. Fuck the internet- the internet is amazing because it gives me stuff to read.
I understand. I should have worded the question differently. I have actually read the Slight Edge and I am very familiar with Shawn Achor’s content. Perhaps what are some of your goals would be a better question. Surely you feel SOME sort of desire to have certain things.
I have done some research… and I do not know if I believe in monogamy. I have no problems committing to a girl… but I think love is merely an evolutionary trick to get us to reproduce.
Why does there have to be an interesting thread just when I don’t have time??
I think “happy” is too vague a word, like “nice.” A nice salad, nice guys who finish last, thank you for the gift it’s very nice, she’s really nice. Instead I think it has to be broken down into more meaningful components. For me these are satisfaction/pride (I feel good about what I do or am doing), pleasure (my life is enjoyable), and connection/love (filial, platonic, romantic).
But the boss says it’s time to work on the house and I don’t like getting caught with my work boots still untied and my fingers on keyboard, which happens too often.
for this part i think
when i was a little caveman my parents did for me
got older if i needed help ,like getting to hospital and home i would call someone for a ride
got married my wife would be there when i fu–ed up to get me want i needed and take me home
when i get older and my wife and i need something i would call one of my kids or grandkids for help
who you gonna call?
As usual, I like Emily’s take on things.
It feels like my heart is glowing when my son is playing, can barely talk through his laughter, or throwing his head back and smiling with joy as he runs down the path through the woods.
House, cars, tons of blow and a whole slew of pretty girls have all been done and can’t hold a match to that.
Balance! When my life resembles a finely balance mix of work & play, deprivation & occassional excess is when I’m happiest.
happiness is a warm gun
I agree that it’s good to feel want or struggle sometimes, and other times enjoy overabundance. It allows for both the pleasure of having endured or overcome and the delight of whatever bounty you’ve managed to secure (whether material, emotional, or physical).
Happiness is a warm gun
(Bang bang, shoot shoot)
Happiness is a warm gun mama
(Bang bang, shoot shoot)
When I hold you in my arms
(Oh yeah)
And I feel my finger on your trigger
(Ooo, oh yeah)
I know nobody can do me no harm
(Ooo, oh yeah)
–I immediately posted this before reading the replies … DAMN YOU YOGI!!!
When all of your insecurities are gone, you’re happy.
I would also say setting goals and achieving them, but for me that only causes temporary happiness. I believe these goals are set to treat insecurities (for me, maybe for you too).
Then theres maslows needs pyramid:
suck it!
My post has to be 20 characters long so extra suck it!
Im never happy, usually just degrees of pissed off. In fact, the only times I can think of being happy are went I solve a difficult problem which leads to an accomplishment, playing with the dogs, hanging out with friends, or the rare occation when Im with a woman I actually like.
I think gratitude and happiness are probably close to being synonymous. People who are inclined to count and enjoy their blessings tend, in my experience, to exemplify Dr. Pangloss’ “peaceful contentedness.”