What Does Your Spouse Think of Your Weight Training

Off Topic
41

Like dianab says, life and people change. That is why I said spouse and not SO, because there is a difference (in general: length of time, level of financial and family commitment, etc.). Consider this example, you meet your SO/future spouse when you are 25, hitting the bars three+ nights a week, getting scholkered, puking in bed, all those good times.

Now, he/she might join you, she/he might be okay with it, but to expect that he/she would be happy if you where still living that lifestyle ten years later at 35 when there is a mortgage and kids to raise, well, maybe but doubtful. People are not static. Expectations for what life will be like 10, 20 even 50 years later might not include having a spouse that looks significantly different than their friends spouses. And this has nothing to do with anyone’s concepts of what might constitute ‘big,’ this concerns what the spouse considers attractive and (age, status, position) appropriate.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I am just wondering, how many of you responding actually take this to any level that would actually cause you to stand out to all others as a weight lifter?[/quote]

My male students ask me questions about training without me ever mentioning the gym and I wear dress shirts/ties, etc. to work - or sweaters over dress shirts when it is cold. Actually, my female students have made comments as well. So, in my case in an environment full of young and athletic students, people can tell.

42

I think my wife quit caring what I looked like the day our oldest was born. She used to always compliment my back while training or mumble about how nice my ass is while trail hiking. Shortly after our son came into the world I sustained two bad injuries and over the next couple of years I morphed into a stick figure man. I then hurt my shoulder making it even tougher. She never seemed to care she was married to a skeleton.

The last two years I’ve done pretty well dealing with these injuries, I’ve been able to put on some weight and think I look pretty good (not the face - the face is still a train wreck, but the body pretty good). The wife doesn’t even seem to notice. I suspect that for women eye candy becomes a lot less important after they have children. The degree probably varies from one woman to the next, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was generally true.

43

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Like dianab says, life and people change. That is why I said spouse and not SO, because there is a difference (in general: length of time, level of financial and family commitment, etc.). Consider this example, you meet your SO/future spouse when you are 25, hitting the bars three+ nights a week, getting scholkered, puking in bed, all those good times.

Now, he/she might join you, she/he might be okay with it, but to expect that he/she would be happy if you where still living that lifestyle ten years later at 35 when there is a mortgage and kids to raise, well, maybe but doubtful. People are not static. Expectations for what life will be like 10, 20 even 50 years later might not include having a spouse that looks significantly different than their friends spouses. And this has nothing to do with anyone’s concepts of what might constitute ‘big,’ this concerns what the spouse considers attractive and (age, status, position) appropriate.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I am just wondering, how many of you responding actually take this to any level that would actually cause you to stand out to all others as a weight lifter?[/quote]

My male students ask me questions about training without me ever mentioning the gym and I wear dress shirts/ties, etc. to work - or sweaters over dress shirts when it is cold. Actually, my female students have made comments as well. So, in my case in an environment full of young and athletic students, people can tell.
[/quote]

I think you misunderstood me. There is SERIOUS…and then there is WEEKEND WARRIOR.

I can see a woman getting upset about gym time if you really aren’t that serious about it. If you rarely even bring it up and aren’t PHYSICALLY CHANGING to a degree that is visually perceptive to her on a somewhat regular basis, then expect her to get pissed if you try going to the gym during her precious cuddle time.

Weight lifting is what I think about all day long. There is no way in hell a woman could go out with me and not realize that it is a BIG part of my life…which is the difference.

There is a big difference between what to expect from a woman if you look like you are training for a competition as opposed to simply looking like you might lift weights here and there…sometimes.

I mean, Lee Haney’s wife didn’t train but you can bet she didn’t give him a hard time about it. She supported him all of the way through.

I would imagine if Lee was just “some guy who trains off and on if they feel like it and has arms just big enough to possibly look like you may lift sometimes” that she would not have reacted the same.

Maybe this is a sign that you either need to step your game up…or let it go.

I wrote [quote]
I am just wondering, how many of you responding actually take this to any level that would actually cause you to stand out to all others as a weight lifter?[/quote]…and I wrote ALL OTHERS for a reason.

44

[quote]on edge wrote:
I think my wife quit caring what I looked like the day our oldest was born. She used to always compliment my back while training or mumble about how nice my ass is while trail hiking. Shortly after our son came into the world I sustained two bad injuries and over the next couple of years I morphed into a stick figure man. I then hurt my shoulder making it even tougher. She never seemed to care she was married to a skeleton.

The last two years I’ve done pretty well dealing with these injuries, I’ve been able to put on some weight and think I look pretty good (not the face - the face is still a train wreck, but the body pretty good). The wife doesn’t even seem to notice. I suspect that for women eye candy becomes a lot less important after they have children. The degree probably varies from one woman to the next, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was generally true.[/quote]

I agree with that as well. Looks don’t pay the bills…most of the time.

45

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Like dianab says, life and people change. That is why I said spouse and not SO, because there is a difference (in general: length of time, level of financial and family commitment, etc.). Consider this example, you meet your SO/future spouse when you are 25, hitting the bars three+ nights a week, getting scholkered, puking in bed, all those good times.

Now, he/she might join you, she/he might be okay with it, but to expect that he/she would be happy if you where still living that lifestyle ten years later at 35 when there is a mortgage and kids to raise, well, maybe but doubtful. People are not static. Expectations for what life will be like 10, 20 even 50 years later might not include having a spouse that looks significantly different than their friends spouses. And this has nothing to do with anyone’s concepts of what might constitute ‘big,’ this concerns what the spouse considers attractive and (age, status, position) appropriate.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I am just wondering, how many of you responding actually take this to any level that would actually cause you to stand out to all others as a weight lifter?[/quote]

My male students ask me questions about training without me ever mentioning the gym and I wear dress shirts/ties, etc. to work - or sweaters over dress shirts when it is cold. Actually, my female students have made comments as well. So, in my case in an environment full of young and athletic students, people can tell.
[/quote]

I think you misunderstood me. There is SERIOUS…and then there is WEEKEND WARRIOR.

I can see a woman getting upset about gym time if you really aren’t that serious about it. If you rarely even bring it up and aren’t PHYSICALLY CHANGING to a degree that is visually perceptive to her on a somewhat regular basis, then expect her to get pissed if you try going to the gym during her precious cuddle time.

Weight lifting is what I think about all day long. There is no way in hell a woman could go out with me and not realize that it is a BIG part of my life…which is the difference.

There is a big difference between what to expect from a woman if you look like you are training for a competition as opposed to simply looking like you might lift weights here and there…sometimes.

I mean, Lee Haney’s wife didn’t train but you can bet she didn’t give him a hard time about it. She supported him all of the way through.

I would imagine if Lee was just “some guy who trains off and on if they feel like it and has arms just big enough to possibly look like you may lift sometimes” that she would not have reacted the same.

Maybe this is a sign that you either need to step your game up…or let it go.

I wrote [quote]
I am just wondering, how many of you responding actually take this to any level that would actually cause you to stand out to all others as a weight lifter?[/quote]…and I wrote ALL OTHERS for a reason.[/quote]

The crux of the original posting was they guy did change and his wife did not like it. This is not about me. I do not know how much the guy has changed. Hence, why length of relationship/time-line matters. You can think about this like when two fat people get married and one looses weight. Their body changed in a way that their spouse did not foresee nor perhaps appreciate. It matters not if we think they are fat or not.

I answered with you the best I could, my ALL include students, family and people at gym. My family and the gym people know I work out. I am treated well by the body builders at my gym. My students assume I do. That is my ALL. The only other people I see with any regularity are my doctors and they have all opened with, “it is obvious you work out”. I have no idea what the occasional blind person I see thinks about my build. Am I as big as you? no. Am I as big as Stu? no. So?

46

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Am I as big as you? no. Am I as big as Stu? no. So?[/quote]

So? You don’t think that holds any “weight” at all? Stu looks like no woman should be shocked to find out he needs to hit the gym regularly without saying anything. Yet you still don’t get how your own progress has a shit load to do with how a woman is going to treat you concerning the activity of weight lifting?

Do you think a woman would be FLABBERGASTED to find out I will be in the gym several times a week?

I get your point about changing in a relationship…and I have discussed that broad topic before because I do feel that your spouse married someone thinking that is who you were. If you change the whole game later on, don’t be surprised that you hit some rough road.

I see that no differently than some super model gaining 300lbs the year after marriage yet expecting you to treat all 23 chins the same as when she weighed 140.

47

A couple guys that I used to know that worked out regularly, were accused of either cheating or doing something other than working out, because they looked the same after months/years of going to the gym.

48

[quote]SickAbs wrote:

Women just dont want to SEEM like they like it as much. [/quote]

Correct. It is counter to their maternal, make-everyone-happy-and-seem-like-the-angel instinct.

49

My woman for the first year would occassionally try the old, “stay home, dont go to the gym” until she realized that it didn’t work once. Now she accepts it, accepts my diet and sometimes feels guilty eating certain things around me even though I never say anything. She has told me on countless occassions how much she respects my willpower and how I never falter to go to the gym or eat that extra piece of chicken or turn down a Mcflurry when I’m dieting.

Some nice side effects are that anytime I want some, all I have to do is walk around with my shirt off like a d-bag for 30 seconds and give her a villainous grin.

50

[quote]imhungry wrote:
A couple guys that I used to know that worked out regularly, were accused of either cheating or doing something other than working out, because they looked the same after months/years of going to the gym.[/quote]

Now that shit cracks me up.

lol… I don’t even feel bad for them. I workout around people like that every day I go in.

51

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]imhungry wrote:
A couple guys that I used to know that worked out regularly, were accused of either cheating or doing something other than working out, because they looked the same after months/years of going to the gym.[/quote]

Now that shit cracks me up.

lol… I don’t even feel bad for them. I workout around people like that every day I go in.[/quote]

I didn’t either.

Same sort of guys that would ask for advice, you give it to them, they end up doing the same shit as always and STILL can’t understand why they’re not getting bigger/stronger.

52

indifferent. I tried to tell her how much I lifted if I hit a new PR and she could care less.

53

[quote]on edge wrote:
I think my wife quit caring what I looked like the day our oldest was born. She used to always compliment my back while training or mumble about how nice my ass is while trail hiking. Shortly after our son came into the world I sustained two bad injuries and over the next couple of years I morphed into a stick figure man. I then hurt my shoulder making it even tougher. She never seemed to care she was married to a skeleton.

The last two years I’ve done pretty well dealing with these injuries, I’ve been able to put on some weight and think I look pretty good (not the face - the face is still a train wreck, but the body pretty good). The wife doesn’t even seem to notice. I suspect that for women eye candy becomes a lot less important after they have children. The degree probably varies from one woman to the next, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was generally true.[/quote]

That’s sad and wrong. She should at least acknowledge your progress.

54

Hilarious,

So I ask my wife: “Can you tell my delts are getting bigger? Or is it all in my head?”

“No, they are.”

“Really? Cool.”

“No, you were big before, but lately you have blown up. Like someone took balloons and stuffed them under your skin here, here, here and here.”

“Nice.”

“Not for me”

“What do you mean?”

“When we are in public I have to dress up more than I have been.”

“WAT?”

“Big guys don’t marry frumpy girls in ripped jeans, and shitty 4 dollar sandles. My pretty shoes give me blisters, look at this one.”

“My flip flops, that I live in, cost like 8 dollars. And I wear Plain white tee’s. I mean, really?”

“You just don’t get it.”

“nope, I don’t.”

She isn’t mad or anything. Just thought it was funny seeing as this thread was active and all.

55

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:
I think my wife quit caring what I looked like the day our oldest was born. She used to always compliment my back while training or mumble about how nice my ass is while trail hiking. Shortly after our son came into the world I sustained two bad injuries and over the next couple of years I morphed into a stick figure man. I then hurt my shoulder making it even tougher. She never seemed to care she was married to a skeleton.

The last two years I’ve done pretty well dealing with these injuries, I’ve been able to put on some weight and think I look pretty good (not the face - the face is still a train wreck, but the body pretty good). The wife doesn’t even seem to notice. I suspect that for women eye candy becomes a lot less important after they have children. The degree probably varies from one woman to the next, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was generally true.[/quote]

I agree with that as well. Looks don’t pay the bills…most of the time.[/quote]

Maybe it’s because she loves you.
Sometimes it’s not about your looks or your money, it’s about you.

edit: maybe I misunderstood your post, I thought you meant she didn’t care about your looks when you were unwell, sorry!

56

[quote]Grneyes wrote:

[quote]on edge wrote:
I think my wife quit caring what I looked like the day our oldest was born. She used to always compliment my back while training or mumble about how nice my ass is while trail hiking. Shortly after our son came into the world I sustained two bad injuries and over the next couple of years I morphed into a stick figure man. I then hurt my shoulder making it even tougher. She never seemed to care she was married to a skeleton.

The last two years I’ve done pretty well dealing with these injuries, I’ve been able to put on some weight and think I look pretty good (not the face - the face is still a train wreck, but the body pretty good). The wife doesn’t even seem to notice. I suspect that for women eye candy becomes a lot less important after they have children. The degree probably varies from one woman to the next, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was generally true.[/quote]

That’s sad and wrong. She should at least acknowledge your progress.[/quote]

It’s really not. It would be nice if she did but if it really doesn’t matter to her if I’m buff or skinny, should she be obligated to pay some kind of compliment? It’s really not that important in the grand scheme of things.

I should add that she’s supportive in whatever I want to do. I have a full gym in the basement and a full gym at work. She’s never once balked about me buying any of the equipment. Even with me bitching at times about her spending on kid toys.

57

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Hilarious,

So I ask my wife: “Can you tell my delts are getting bigger? Or is it all in my head?”

“No, they are.”

“Really? Cool.”

“No, you were big before, but lately you have blown up. Like someone took balloons and stuffed them under your skin here, here, here and here.”

“Nice.”

“Not for me”

“What do you mean?”

“When we are in public I have to dress up more than I have been.”

“WAT?”

“Big guys don’t marry frumpy girls in ripped jeans, and shitty 4 dollar sandles. My pretty shoes give me blisters, look at this one.”

“My flip flops, that I live in, cost like 8 dollars. And I wear Plain white tee’s. I mean, really?”

“You just don’t get it.”

“nope, I don’t.”

She isn’t mad or anything. Just thought it was funny seeing as this thread was active and all. [/quote]

I wonder if one spouse’s improvements puts pressure on the other spouse, whether intentional or not. Probably, and that might explain some things.

58

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:

I wonder if one spouse’s improvements puts pressure on the other spouse, whether intentional or not. Probably, and that might explain some things. [/quote]

No doubt, but my wife is 5’4", 115lbs with ab outlines.

She is doing okay.

59

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Hilarious,

So I ask my wife: “Can you tell my delts are getting bigger? Or is it all in my head?”

“No, they are.”

“Really? Cool.”

“No, you were big before, but lately you have blown up. Like someone took balloons and stuffed them under your skin here, here, here and here.”

“Nice.”

“Not for me”

“What do you mean?”

“When we are in public I have to dress up more than I have been.”

“WAT?”

“Big guys don’t marry frumpy girls in ripped jeans, and shitty 4 dollar sandles. My pretty shoes give me blisters, look at this one.”

“My flip flops, that I live in, cost like 8 dollars. And I wear Plain white tee’s. I mean, really?”

“You just don’t get it.”

“nope, I don’t.”

She isn’t mad or anything. Just thought it was funny seeing as this thread was active and all. [/quote]

I wonder if one spouse’s improvements puts pressure on the other spouse, whether intentional or not. Probably, and that might explain some things. [/quote]

Just tell her worn jeans, a plain white tee and flip flops is sexy as hell.

60

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
Hilarious,

So I ask my wife: “Can you tell my delts are getting bigger? Or is it all in my head?”

“No, they are.”

“Really? Cool.”

“No, you were big before, but lately you have blown up. Like someone took balloons and stuffed them under your skin here, here, here and here.”

“Nice.”

“Not for me”

“What do you mean?”

“When we are in public I have to dress up more than I have been.”

“WAT?”

“Big guys don’t marry frumpy girls in ripped jeans, and shitty 4 dollar sandles. My pretty shoes give me blisters, look at this one.”

“My flip flops, that I live in, cost like 8 dollars. And I wear Plain white tee’s. I mean, really?”

“You just don’t get it.”

“nope, I don’t.”

She isn’t mad or anything. Just thought it was funny seeing as this thread was active and all. [/quote]

I wonder if one spouse’s improvements puts pressure on the other spouse, whether intentional or not. Probably, and that might explain some things. [/quote]

Just tell her worn jeans, a plain white tee and flip flops is sexy as hell.[/quote]

dood, we ALL know our women don’t give a shit what WE think or say is sexy as hell … they care what OTHER WOMEN think is sexy as hell … they already obtained our approval just by us being with them, now they seek it from other women

This is one of the universal truths/mysteries that I’ve come to observe about females…