What Does Your Spouse Think of Your Weight Training

Off Topic
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[quote]polo77j wrote:

Just tell her worn jeans, a plain white tee and flip flops is sexy as hell.[/quote]

dood, we ALL know our women don’t give a shit what WE think or say is sexy as hell … they care what OTHER WOMEN think is sexy as hell … they already obtained our approval just by us being with them, now they seek it from other women

This is one of the universal truths/mysteries that I’ve come to observe about females…[/quote]

This comment is interesting food for thought. I’ve been a proponent of this viewpoint in SAMA threads, but this situation adds an interesting twist. If a woman’s man looks better, she then has a greater need to look good to other women? Her desire to look good is not a constant based on her own ego? Could it be rooted in a need to defend her territory (her man). I do find women to be very territorial. Much more than men.

edit; fucked up the quotes. Sorry

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Hey CB,

I was debating on writing you a message, but everyone knows writing another man a message clearly means you’re ghey so I decided not to.

But I’ve been wanting to know where you bought your sled and how much? I remember you posting about it in another thread, but forgot to ask.

that is all.

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[quote]AndrewG909 wrote:
Hey CB,

I was debating on writing you a message, but everyone knows writing another man a message clearly means you’re ghey so I decided not to.

But I’ve been wanting to know where you bought your sled and how much? I remember you posting about it in another thread, but forgot to ask.

that is all.[/quote]

http://www.flexcart.com/members/elitefts/default.asp?m=PD&cid=114&pid=2294

HERE YA GO

64

why do yall call it a sled and not a PROWLER sounds much better.

65

Whenever I talk about doing squats or weighted dips or deadlifts, my wife asks me why I can’t just work out like a normal person. She’s a distance runner though, so what does she know?

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[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]polo77j wrote:

I don’t know about your theory but personally, at least as far as who I’d want to look good for, I don’t really care what other women prefer. I do care what men think though. I am however much more self-conscious and concerned about dressing too provocatively when women are present because I don’t want to be judged by them.

It’s not about dressing for them or looking good for them though. As for listening to what men say they like, well men lie too much about that to be believed. You guys have to, I recognize, because if you answer honestly every time a woman asks ‘does my ass look fat in this?’ you’d be in the dog house.

67

My wife supports me. Like CB said earlier, I dont drink, gamble, abuse her, or bang hookers so she doesnt mind my dedication. She tells me its the best obsession I’ve ever had. But if I ask her something like: “you think I should focus on my chest more or my delts more?” she says “whatever makes you happy”. When she asks “does my ass look fat in this?”, it turns into a 2 hour convo about one of her friends’ asses.

68

[quote]debraD wrote:
I do care what men think though. I am however much more self-conscious and concerned about dressing too provocatively when women are present because I don’t want to be judged by them.

It’s not about dressing for them or looking good for them though. As for listening to what men say they like, well men lie too much about that to be believed. You guys have to, I recognize, because if you answer honestly every time a woman asks ‘does my ass look fat in this?’ you’d be in the dog house. [/quote]

We (men) have active imaginations. You keep that engaged and you’ll keep our attention.

69

[quote]on edge wrote:

[quote]Grneyes wrote:
That’s sad and wrong. She should at least acknowledge your progress.[/quote]

It’s really not. It would be nice if she did but if it really doesn’t matter to her if I’m buff or skinny, should she be obligated to pay some kind of compliment? It’s really not that important in the grand scheme of things.
[/quote]

Among other reasons to train, one of the top is I try and look good for my wife. she looks good to me, I want to look good for her. That gets to why I started this thread, when the wife’s opinion then differs from the man’s on his body. My wife does not say much, and to be honest, I wish she would. Feed back is generally good. Is the myth that guys do not care about how they look so ever-present that women do not feel the need to let their own spouses know?

My grandmother said that the wife’s duty is to protect her husbands ego. I think there is a lot of truth in that statement. Not so much the ‘duty’ part but as insight into men.

Cosmos version : Lie to your man.

I hope there is a difference.

70

I have three “hobbies” 1. Lifting 2. Football 3. PS3 The wife hates #2 and #3. Lifting she wants me happy and healthy that is all. After almost 11 years of marriage and being in our mid 30’s we are looking at long term health. I want to be strong as humanly possible. She does crossfit. We dont workout together.

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[quote]debraD wrote:
I am however much more self-conscious and concerned about dressing too provocatively when women are present because I don’t want to be judged by them.

[/quote]

This part of your post is strong validation of the idea. I don’t think it matters if your dressing to impress or not, it only matters that you have other women in mind. Obviously this applies more to the general idea than it does to this particular off-shoot Polo made me think of.

Having said that, if someone asked me if I thought there might be any exceptions to this way of thinking on this site, I would immediately say you. I’d probably add that the women on this site are a little less prone than average to think this way.

Btw, hate your new avatar.

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[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:

My grandmother said that the wife’s duty is to protect her husbands ego. I think there is a lot of truth in that statement. Not so much the ‘duty’ part but as insight into men.

Cosmos version : Lie to your man…[/quote]

Absolutely! So many women miss the boat on this one small (actually large) item. I’m serious.

And she doesn’t even necessarily have to lie. She can tell the truth and protect his ego. They are not mutually exclusive notions.[/quote]

Sometimes they are though lol. I know a couple of chicks that pretty much dread going home at night. They and their spouse don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, and the dude letting himself go is one major issue. (I know a girl or two that would get fucked more often if they put the spoon down too, don’t get me wrong it goes both ways.)

While I generally agree with the statement, and you; sometimes I don’t think they should have to. I mean if your girl is disgusted because you turned into a fat slob (not you specifically, but you as in people in general, you know what I mean), she shouldn’t fluff your ego, you should get your fat ass to the gym and eat less ice cream.

But I do agree that women are more apt to change to match their mate than a man is, in as far as self improvement, and image.

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[quote]pushharder wrote:

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
…I mean if your girl is disgusted because you turned into a fat slob (not you specifically, but you as in people in general, you know what I mean), she shouldn’t fluff your ego, you should get your fat ass to the gym and eat less ice cream…[/quote]

She, if she is good at it, CAN accomplish this precisely by appealing to his ego not tearing it down. Think about it; I bet you get what I mean.[/quote]

You are right, and I think a woman would be more apt to put that effort in than a dude. On average.

Most guys will just say “fuck it” and deal or cheat.

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[quote]pushharder wrote:
She, if she is good at it, CAN accomplish this precisely by appealing to his ego not tearing it down. Think about it; I bet you get what I mean.[/quote]

I agree, it’s about being supportive and giving feedback. People tend to take better care of themselves when they feel good about themselves. A supportive spouse should play a role in this. And that goes both ways.

It reminds me of the idea that we can only know ourselves (or how we are perceived) through what is said by others. I think there is some truth to this. If everyone keeps telling you that you are an asshole, then no matter how much you keep telling yourself their just jealous, the majority is probably right in this case. If your spouse never says anything about how you look, then you might just feel invisible. (cue Ben and Jerry’s)

77

My wife is supportive, for the most part. She does think I’m a bit obssessive, but she rolls with it. She is very knowledgeable about nutrition and bodybuilding, so that helps. Also, she’s been with me for 20 years and it is all she has ever known regarding me in this area.

That is to say, she has only known me when I was training for something. MMA, or powerlifting, etc. She works out sporadically, so she does have a little insight on the discipline and sacrifice required.

I think she has always been attracted to my physical nature. But that is kinda seperate from the weight training aspect. She knows I’d be training just as I do regardless of her opinion of it; so she just accepts it as part of who I am.

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[quote]studgorilla wrote:
My wife is supportive, for the most part. She does think I’m a bit obssessive, but she rolls with it. She is very knowledgeable about nutrition and bodybuilding, so that helps. Also, she’s been with me for 20 years and it is all she has ever known regarding me in this area.

That is to say, she has only known me when I was training for something. MMA, or powerlifting, etc. She works out sporadically, so she does have a little insight on the discipline and sacrifice required.

I think she has always been attracted to my physical nature. But that is kinda seperate from the weight training aspect. She knows I’d be training just as I do regardless of her opinion of it; so she just accepts it as part of who I am.[/quote]

I would be very surprised if it is any different for any others who really take this seriously.

If your spouse sees that you don’t miss training sessions for anything, that you plan your meals ahead of time for years and that this is what you even talk a lot about…I have a real hard time believing she would give you a hard time unless the plan is divorce.

I honestly think anyone having problems here is likely going through it because they are NOT that serious and other people can see that.

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[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]studgorilla wrote:
My wife is supportive, for the most part. She does think I’m a bit obssessive, but she rolls with it. She is very knowledgeable about nutrition and bodybuilding, so that helps. Also, she’s been with me for 20 years and it is all she has ever known regarding me in this area.

That is to say, she has only known me when I was training for something. MMA, or powerlifting, etc. She works out sporadically, so she does have a little insight on the discipline and sacrifice required.

I think she has always been attracted to my physical nature. But that is kinda seperate from the weight training aspect. She knows I’d be training just as I do regardless of her opinion of it; so she just accepts it as part of who I am.[/quote]

I would be very surprised if it is any different for any others who really take this seriously.

If your spouse sees that you don’t miss training sessions for anything, that you plan your meals ahead of time for years and that this is what you even talk a lot about…I have a real hard time believing she would give you a hard time unless the plan is divorce.

I honestly think anyone having problems here is likely going through it because they are NOT that serious and other people can see that.[/quote]

PX…do you mean a senario like this?

Wife/GF "Why do you even bother, you still look like shit and why waste the money on a membership when we could go shopping at wal-mart for some new insert useless item here

FTR my senario goes like this:

Me: I’m going to the gym now.

Wife: Okay, have a great workout you massive hunk of a man…alright I lied about the massive hunk part lol, but not the first part. She’s a peach :slight_smile:

80

[quote]bond james bond wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]studgorilla wrote:
My wife is supportive, for the most part. She does think I’m a bit obssessive, but she rolls with it. She is very knowledgeable about nutrition and bodybuilding, so that helps. Also, she’s been with me for 20 years and it is all she has ever known regarding me in this area.

That is to say, she has only known me when I was training for something. MMA, or powerlifting, etc. She works out sporadically, so she does have a little insight on the discipline and sacrifice required.

I think she has always been attracted to my physical nature. But that is kinda seperate from the weight training aspect. She knows I’d be training just as I do regardless of her opinion of it; so she just accepts it as part of who I am.[/quote]

I would be very surprised if it is any different for any others who really take this seriously.

If your spouse sees that you don’t miss training sessions for anything, that you plan your meals ahead of time for years and that this is what you even talk a lot about…I have a real hard time believing she would give you a hard time unless the plan is divorce.

I honestly think anyone having problems here is likely going through it because they are NOT that serious and other people can see that.[/quote]

PX…do you mean a senario like this?

Wife/GF "Why do you even bother, you still look like shit and why waste the money on a membership when we could go shopping at wal-mart for some new insert useless item here

FTR my senario goes like this:

Me: I’m going to the gym now.

Wife: Okay, have a great workout you massive hunk of a man…alright I lied about the massive hunk part lol, but not the first part. She’s a peach :slight_smile:

[/quote]

Exactly.

Looking the part goes a long way in all facets of life yet for some strange reason, people who lift weights think it doesn’t apply to them.

If you are a weekend warrior and LOOK like a weekend warrior, don’t be surprised when people don’t treat you like a gym rat with 20" arms. No one gives those guys a hard time about the gym because it is plain as day that they will be going no matter what.

We have already seen on this site that people with minimal development still think they fit into the same category as the rest of us who LOOK like serious weight lifters.

No one mistakes Tobey Mcgwire for that…even if he can recite 15 different personal trainer novellas from memory.