A woman at work is always nagging me to change my lifestyle with regards to indulging and going out more.
Iām never going to meet a man , she says .
I get up at 330 to lift, Iām tired, i say .
Quit powerlifting, she replies
ā¦
No, and right now my powerlifting relationship is far healthier than any relationship I could have with a man.
She also tells me to indulge . Just have a cookie why do you deprive yourself?
⦠did I say I was deprived?
How do I respond to a heavy set person that I donāt want cookies because I donāt want to be a heavy set person.
Also, a vegan in the room also tells me that while she cant have the cookies , I should.
This person is recovering from an eating disorder , but is clearly using veganism to still have an unhealthy control over food. So why is me measuring chicken to keep tabs on my calories and protein disordered , but cutting out hundreds of things to be a vegan is now considered normal, and not only that, but respectable in the eyes of some ?
These things annoy me , but I can never say anything.
I dont want a cookie
I donāt want to go out at night, I hate drinking and I dont want a man.
And I sure as hell dont want to quit powerlifting.
BYE
Oh also, I do not like how my dedication and commitment seems to threaten others to the point where they try to put a negative spin on me being healthy and ambitious with regards to my lifting goals.
This is just the way some idiots work. They are clearly jealous of you and your strength/motivation/physique and that youāve achieved what they cannot achieve. They want you to have a cookie, because they will feel better about themselves if someone living a healthier life than them follows there path.
Hey Jenn
I love to read about your journey through life and especially that you life at the moment is awesome.
We all have that look when we say no to cake or a beer or going out because our sport is what we care about at the moment.
I would try to tell them that you love your life at the moment.
That your passion at the moment is your sport.
That your other passion is your child.
That you donāt want to be in a relationship right now.
I wouldnāt hesitate to tell them that you eat cake from time to time, but that you donāt like cake that much and that you would prefer an apple.
I would tell them straight out that you donāt drink alcohol.
What they do whether it is eating to much or only veggies doesnāt matter, itās their way of life and how they want to live it is their adult choice. Donāt mention it, itās not worth the discussion.
Keep smiling and just eat an apple and tell them that youāre going to be with your child later
Actually, I would like to make friends as I socialize with zero people my age, and the company has tons of introduce yourself and new hire boards , and tell us about yourselves segments that I wanted to be a part of. I had no idea that talking about things I loved as others did would result in this woman disliking my lifestyle and nagging at me every opportune moment.
Most people only care about themselves and the number of people you can trust to be āfriendsā at work are few and far between. Those kind of work relationships are best developed cautiously and very slowly. I like you wish the world was a friendly place where everyone had each otherās best interest in mind, but most people only want to bring you down to their level so they can feel good about them, not do whatās best for you.
Being amazing is often a lonely placeā¦and you are amazing!
With the two who are nagging you, turn the conversation from you to them. Iām not saying attack them; rather, brush off their negativity with a simple āno thanks, Iām really fullā or āmy son and I have a pretty dope schedule right now and Iām focusing on his develoment at this crucial stage in life.ā Then turn the conversation to them - ask the vegan woman something about being a vegan, ask the heavy-set woman something about her liking to go out, then move on.
In my experience, people who nag at your boundaries and try to force theirs on you donāt like talking about themselves too much. After a couple polite conversations about them, theyāll probably start avoiding you, freeing you to talk to others while showing youāre polite and take an interest in other people.
True. And you should only care about yourself as well, and primarily your relationship to yourself, When youāre cool with that, then love everybody with compassion cause they are more fucked up than you and need you to love them.
This is true. However, if you can, love everyone with compassion so you can raise them up. If you raise them up, you raise yourself up - the other person is you,
Brilliant. Coaching is about asking questions that lead others to a conclusion that you have already reached.
Respectfully disagree. If you begin asking them questions that lead them to the conclusion that they are fat because they hate themselves, and help them see it, and how to resolve it, they will start seeking you out.
Might be a bad thing.
Be a light house. You are way ahead of them on the path, show them the way through asking questions.
Youre assuming a motive for the questions that I did not intend.
My advice to ask questions about the co-workers wasnāt to lead them to some hidden, predetermined answer but because Iāve observed that boundary-crossers like to get all up in othersā biznass but tend to stray away when simply asked about themselves. Either that or they get really excited to talk about their interests.
Either way, it reframes the interaction from them subtly attacking Spock to everyone interacting on a level conversational field.
When questions are asked with passive-aggressive motives then yes, youāre right. But as I said above thatās not the motives for the questions, which necessitates different types of questions asked with a different attitude.
I meant no shade at all with my response and respect your points.
I meant to use it as an example, not assuming a motive at all, Iām sorry if you took it that way.
Yep, I get this. However, lol, if you want to raise others up, think about what is fucked up about them and how your questions might guide them to answers about themselves.
To me, this is about seeing the other person as you.
For example, did you feel like I was attacking you, or undermining your credibility? If so, why? Was it about you or was it about Spock?
Those are all open ended questions that may lead you down a different path.
Or not. You might still conclude I am a dick (and I sort of am, sorry))
So this is another take for you. What if they werenāt attacking Spock? What if they were just pieces of shit dealing with their own fucked up life?
Thatās story. Their story. Your story is they are attacking Jenn. What if Jenn recast that story as them just being fat pigs that hate her for being jacked?
Or if Jenn just recast their story as being moms that want to nurture her?
Or if Jenn recast their story as abused children that eat to protect themselves and just want her to protect herself by eating.
We always assume the worst story - in this case the cookie monsters attacking Spock. We assume the worst story because we disrespect ourselves. If we can get out of our head, and make it not about us, it makes life much mo betta.
I truly hope I donāt sound like an ass, and I greatly appreciate your contribution, but I hope I made my somewhat nebulous point.
Chances are homegirl would nag about anything from anyone if she started doing that after knowing you very briefly. At least you know how she is already!
I hope you can find some type of cool person to have as a work buddy. It makes a world of difference when you work with people you like!
Now that I am not depressed I find I am getting very OCD and i donāt really know how to stop and chill out.
Itās stupid but getting benefits really triggered my mind into like obsessive MAXIMIZE BENEFITS mode and I have way too much stuff booked and zero time to relax.
My busy day brag :
2 hour workout
work lunches made
2 batches of crock pot oatmeal for the week
wal mart
bank
walk with mom
chiro
acupuncutre
pedicure
vavuumed house
windexed all the things
took out garbage, which seems small, but it actually takes me like two hours because it means I put stuff thats almost empty into full things and get rid of containers
i also like randomly change batteries and just generally re fill everything even if it isnāt nessessary
its exhasuting
FAWK
iām losin my marbs and Iām manic and i want it to stooooooooooooop
k
WORKOUT
Squats
135lbs x 10
150lbs x 10
160lbs x 2 sets of 10
pin squats
145lbs x 7
165lbs x 7
paused bench press
100lbs x 4
110lbs x 2 sets of 2
barbell split squats
75lbs x 6
80lbs x 6
90lbs x 6
reverse grip D handle tri ext.
10lbs x 2 x 10
5lbs x 12
landmine press
bar+
15lbs x 2 x 10
5lbs x 15
leg spreader
jesus i dont know 3 sets of drop or something
db lateral raises
10lbs x 25
7.5lbs x 20
5lbs x 20
bent over rear delt DB fly
5lbs x 35
leg ext
40lbs x 3 x 8
20lbs x 8
stepmill intervals x 20 min
and
DONE
well, then 8 hours of non -stop moving and hyperventialiting and trying to accomplish everything under the sun
Also weird, after my pedicure i forgot how to drive
i just sat there like
oh no , which pedal is which
i think its beccause of waking up before 3 and doing massive amounts of disodering ā¦
Being manic is a weird thing , like youāve got so much energy and so many crazy ideas and take on so much shit , but that doesnāt turn you into a super hero. You donāt sleep very much, and you know deep down youāre exhausted and just wish so badly you could stop and chill the fuck out but itās impossible . Itās also weird in the sense that you make bad decisions so that you can have something to hate yourself for when your in the depressed phase , but you donāt feel the guilt or remorse until the manic passes.
anyway w/e just rambling i guess
BYE
K today
Deadlifts
135lbs x 5
185lbs x 2
205lbs x 2
Belt
225lbs x 2
235lbs x 3 sets of 2
2hrs really fun back stuff
Bi
Step mill intervals x 20
So much fun 2day
Felt like beast moded
BYE
Paused squats
135lbs x 5
155lbs x 3
175lbs x 3
185lbs x 2 x 3
Military press
70lbs x 6
80lbs x 2 x 6
70lbs x 6
Seated db press
30lbs x 8
35lbs x 2 x 6
Leg spreader
230lbs x 8
155lbs x 8
125lbs x 10
Db row
45lbs x 15
Db lateral raises
17.5lbs x 15
7.5lbs x 15
Rear delt db fly
7.5lbs x 20
K so I intended to do military press 95 x 1 as I have done 90 x 3 and 85 x 5 but I missed 90 x 1 so changed my mind and did another option that I had previously considered.
I feel like military press is one of those lifts where Iāll simply stall at and it will take months before I could add a rep or Iāll even go backwards . Iāve never in my life been able to strongly push 95lbs over my head for a single . Everything before 90 is fine , but then bam , it feels darn near impossible.
I think I need to strategize how to include this lift knowing it can be volumized but progression will be minimal. Its not the most important lift in the world, but Iād like to at least be somewhat fun for me to do. Not sure yet, but Iāll sort something out for next week. I was mostly upset because I wasted time intending to build to 95, but then had to go back and do 6ās and time is something I have none of right now. Maybe in feb when Iām work from home Iāll bring out my fractional plates and build up military that way, but right now it neednāt be fussed over .
Today was gGGggGreat
Front squats
95lbs x 3 I could already tell from this set it would be a bomb ass day lol
115lbs x 3
130lbs x 3
140lbs x 3 pretty easy !
125lbs x 2 x 3
Bench press
105lbs x 3 x 9 easy also
Tempo bench
100lbs x 6
⦠easy
Incline db press w pause
32.5lbs x 2 x 10
X 8
Db tri ext 7.5lbs x 20 thrown in there
Step mill intervals x 10
Leg spreader
125lbs x 25
95lbs x 25
or some shit idk
For leg spreader I usually just do whatever weight the person before he had it set on. Makes it a fun lil game .
I decided for military press to take weight off , increase volume and keep rest period very short. I will use it as a shoulder builder rather than a military press strength builder because bigger shoulders equals bigger bench too. Then in two months when Iām back at the weights Iām leaving now, Iāll be work from home and can add fractional plates and lengthen rest periods. There perfect.
Is that Tony with a stutter? Just messing around, donāt hate me, way to get em tiger, lol. Glad youāre having a kick ass day chica. Iām ābout to crush some drop sets after watching pumping iron for probably the 8th time, chat at you later.