What Business is it of Yours Where I'm From, Friendo?

Training Training Logs
361

k today I decided to get up at 3am so I could wait outside the gym doors and get the platform before the annoying grunty piece of shit dude…

I was successful …

conventional deadlifts

135lbs x 10
185lbs x 10
195lbs x 10
200lbs x 6 + 2 + 2 (extended)

deficit deadlifts

205lbs x 4
belt
215lbs x 2 sets of 3
220lbs x 2
225lbs x 3 sets of 2

DB Row

55lbs x 12*arm
60lbs x 3 sets of 10 arm
1 drop
50lbs x 18arm

t bar row
bar ++
75lbs
x 12
x 12
2 drop

  • 50lbs
    x 12
  • 35lbs
    x 12

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

one arm lat pull down
27.5lbs x 10arm (paused)
35lbs x 8arm (paused)
42.5lbs x 8arm (paused)
50lbs x 8arm
1 drop
27.5lbs x 12 partials *arm

cable D handle bi curl SS hammer curl
15lbs/15lbs
x 10arm/ x 12
x 10arm/ x 15
x 10*arm/ x 15

bicep curl machine
40lbs
x 8slow neg
x 8slow neg

wide D handle lat pull down
75lbs
x 10slow neg
x 10slow neg
1 drop
60lbs
x 10

K I did too much
today was crazy sauce
I was there for like 2hrs 15 min
I was worrying about getting that stupid platform for days
:weary:

crazy does it, I suppose

shit sure is getting exciting though
it was less than a month ago if you can recall that I missed my double deficit @220lbs and today I did three sets of 2 @ 225

The stronger you feel the more addictive it is and the more addictive it is the stronger you feel AHHHHHHHHHh

I will now start every morning by saying to myself “you’re going to be really strong someday”
I will repeat it over and over a few times until my eyes can actually be opened and I realize where I am Lol

Oh, also, saw my chiro yesterday and told him about my dreams so hopefully now they will stop
well…
I didn’t tell him about the creepy Asian one LOL

KBYE

362

Not to besmirch the character of and entire gender, but when you write:

You are, for the most part, being redundant.

363

Oh man, K I feel beat to shit…

Last night I slept from 730pm-5am
which is like 2 hrs more than normal

and I feel more exhausted than ever
and grumpy

but maybe that’s just cause nothing exciting happens on shoulder day

cable rear delt fly (diff pin heights)
10lbs
x 15arm
x 15arm
x 15arm
2 drop
5lbs
x 15arm
x 15*arm

military press SS one arm DB press
65lbs/20lbs
x 10/ x 10arm
75lbs/20lbs
x 6/ x 10arm
80lbs/20lbs
x 5/ x 10arm
85lbs/20lbs
x 4/ x 10arm
90lbs/20lbs
x 2 + 2 drop 75lbs x 7, 65lbs x 10/ x 10*arm

It makes me very angry how bad I am at military pressing
but not angry enough that it makes me stronger at it?!?!
that’s the worst kind of anger

incline one arm DB lateral raise SS DB lateral raise (one arm holds DB in fixed position while the other reps)
5lbs/7.5lbs
x 20arm/ x 10arm + 10 both arms w/slow neg + 10 normal speed
x 20arm/ x 10arm + 10 both arms w/slow neg + 10 normal speed
x 20arm/ x 10arm + 10 both arms w/slow neg + 10 normal speed

hammer strength iso lateral should press facing seat way
rest pause set
35lbs per side
x 12, 11, 10, 9, 8 *arm

rear delt DB fly pals facing each other SS palms facing inwards SS palms facing each other
20lbs/10lbs/10lbs
x 12/ x 12/ x 12
x 12/ x 12/ x 12
x 12/ x 12 / x 12
NO rest
also attempted to slow neg the final sets

DB front raises SS DB plate raises
20lbs/35lbs
x 10arm/ x 12
x 10arm/ x 12
x 10*arm/ x 15

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

reverse grip D handle tri ext. SS ropey tri ext.
10lbs/25lbs
x 10arm/ x 15
10lbs/30lbs
x 10arm/ x 10
x 10*arm/ x 12

close grip bench
85lbs x 10
95lbs x 2 sets of 6

done

.
I need to find a way to make shoulder day more exciting
its not fun because its not squatting benching or deadlifting
its just weak annoying military pressing
and some painful burny shit

ahhhhhhhhh
im dying of tired

BYE

364

I just have to ask - and best with me because you may have explained before and I didn’t see - is there a particular reason you train the way you do with all the supersets and isolation work? I’m not knocking it, I’m just curious.

It seems like you love the big lifts, which is cool. So do I. It also seems like you really want to get stronger at those lifts; and you’ve made progress in that direction. But, have you considered that perhaps the way you train isn’t optimal to simply get stronger?

I mean, if you want to get stronger in the squat, bench, DL and press I suspect you’ll do better focusing on those and reducing how much other stuff you do. There are quite a few strength specific programs out there that have plenty of volume if it’s volume you’re after. Just of the top of my head, 531 with First Set Last and Periodisation Bible for assistance would give you PLENTY of volume but would probably make your strength skyrocket. On your off days you could do conditioning as prescribed in the book. That’s just one option.

365

Well, to be honest, my isolation work typically takes about 10 minutes and my main movements take about an hour and 20, so it seems reasonably balanced. I like the isolation stuff cause it helps with my mind muscle connection a lot. if I don’t do it I lose it quite easily.

366

K bleh

My OCD has been super over-active over the past few days
My thoughts keep repeating over and over again about everything and it’s starting to really bother me.
Just about everything like, if I need something from wal mart my brain is like
get eye shadow
get eye shadow
get eye shadow
like shut up I know
I think I’m super wound up or something
I dunno if it’s hormonal or just lifting excitement or what
To be honest I haven’t had my period in over 11 months so maybe there’s a storm coming I Don’t know
But it’s upsetting cause I need some peace of quiet and I can’t chill out

I was up most of the night last night with a really intense panic attack and I was like why am I having a panic attack when my life has never been so perfect?
You know why?
Because I have anxiety disorder
It’s not based on life circumstances it’s a chemical imbalance
when Im happy and excited, when I’m depressed and worried
I am still disordered
that in itself made me upset

so today didn’t really go as planned anyway

high bar squats

135lbs x 8
145lbs x 4
155lbs x 4
belt
165lbs x 4
170lbs x 4
175lbs x 4
180lbs x 3 ← 3rd rep was ugly so I didn’t want to die and decided to only do three :frowning:
175lbs x 3 <–lost confidence here, could have easily done another, but my stupid head got in the way
I shoulda just done volume @175lbs instead of jumping the gun. I guess my high bar isn’t as strong as my low bar. It’s close, but not quite there…

AMRAP tester set
135lbs x 23
I had to do tons here cause I wanted to make up for previous lame shit

low bar paused squats
135lbs x 6
155lbs x 2 sets of 4
160lbs x 4
165lbs x 3
belt
170lbs x 2 sets of 3

at least I PR-ed with my pausing
also 180 x 3 was more then I’ve done at this body weight as well
and my amrap was a pr

but I am super angry mostly about quitting on my 2nd 175lb when I knew I had another one in me
I DONT LIKE LOSING CONFIDENCE
I DONT LIKE NOT BEING ABLE TO USE SAFTEY"S

k anyway

front squats
95lbs x 3 sets of 8

ass machine
110lbs
x 8 1&1/2 reps *ass
x 8 1&1/2 reps *ass

single leg ext.
50lbs x 8leg
60lbs x 2 sets of 6 leg
2 drop sets
40lbs x 8leg
30lbs x 10leg

leg on bench cable ass kick backs
15lbs
x 12ass
x 12ass
x 12*ass

stability ball hip trusts
x 35

k gonna be mentally bothered all day
FAaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwk-ing hell

Irritable

kBYE

367

k good today

bench press

95lbs x 8
105lbs x 8
115lbs x 3 sets of 8

paused bench

120lbs x 3 sets of 3
125lbs x 2 sets of 2
130lbs x 1

really happy with the length of all of my pauses today

rear delt cable fly
5lbs
x 30arm
x 30arm

seated DB press SS DB lateral raises
30lbs/17.5lbs
x 15/ x 12
x 14 + 4 (extended) x 12
x 14 + 4 (extended) x 15 + 1 drop 12.5lbs x I forget

rear delt DB fly

22.5lbs
x 15
x 15
x 15 + 15 partials

seated shoulder press machine
neutral grip
50lbs x 10
55lbs x 8
55lbs x 10
1 drop
35lbs
x 10

EZ bar tri ext.
42.5lbs
x 12
50lbs
x 10
x 12
25 lbs
x 15 *paused + 10 normal

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

K yesterday was a very hard day for me. I had a panic attack that lasted for hours
like 24 of them
I felt like I was freaking out from Wednesday night up until about 7 o clock last night
Could barely deal.
I kept crying and shit
I passed out super early from pure emotional exhaustion
Slept good though, but I still feel realllllllllly tired today

I dunno why im upset
cause im nuts maybe
like 97% sure CSB has no interest in me at all whatsoever now…
Maybe it’s seeming more rational and that scares me cause I hate pain.
Either way I know I care more than he does. I like him more than he likes me, that’s not made up in my head .
That’s always my reality
Why can’t it ever be the other way around or at least equal ?
No, it always has to be like me being WOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
And them being like
Meh…

I dunno what I did
I didn’t do anything
I’m just Jenn
But ya
So I felt sad I guess…
I feel sad I guess
But I felt more bothered by the fact that I felt disposable and it mimicked the feelings I had during the whole two years I was tangled up with marshall
I’m too sensitive for this shit, I can’t deal with dudes anymore it feels awful all the time. Most of the time .
Yesterday I remembered when I was first going through all the awful stuff a year ago and I had to hide in my empty basement as if I could hide away from my anxiety down there
Oh in the corner on a cold cement floor, anxiety and heartache will never catch me here!
So then I felt upset remembering that
I don’t ever want to feel like that ever again for as long as I live.
I’d rather just be alone and steadily grumpy than have to feel like that

Moving forward
Two weeks of grumpy
one week of sadness
then back to normal
Time line

BYE

368

K absolute amaze balls today

conventional deadlifts

136lbs x 6
185lbs x 6
205lbs x 2
belt
215lbs x 2
225lbs x 2
230lbs x 2 sets of 2 I guess my brain blocked out the hardness of the first set cause I almost crapped myself on the second rep of the second set, I dunno. Better that then missing a rep :O!

sumo deadlifts

210lbs x 2 sets of 4
belt
220lbs x 3
230lbs x 2 sets of 1 ← the second single on this felt like I coulda done like 3 reps. or a million
235lbs x 1 ← easy also

then I did a tester set
conventional (beltless)

185lbs x 14

LEGS QUIVER FUN-TIMES

umm

DB ROW

55lbs x 12arm
65lbs x 2 sets of 6arm
55lbs x 16*arm because doing only 15 would have been mediocre…

sitting sideways lat pull down SS kayak rows SS seated row cable SS straight arm pull down

30lbs/25lbs/85lbs/30lbs
x 15arm/ x 12arm/ x 8/ x 10
x 15arm/ x 12arm/ x 8/ x 10
x 15arm/ x12arm/ x 8/ x 10 @35lbs and 10 @30lbs cause 35 lbs was a mistake
a happy mistake

seated DB curl SS hammer curl
20lbs/12.5lbs
x 8arm/ x 15
x 8arm/ x 12
x 8*arm/ x 12

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

WEAK
ILL SHOW U WEAK
I says
to myself

when I was DB rowing

Very hulk smashy today

BYE

369

K tired today but went pretty well…

low bar squats

135lbs x 8
145lbs x 8
155lbs x 8
belt
165lbs x 3 sets of 8

high bar paused squats

135lbs x 6
145lbs x 2 sets of 5
160lbs x 3
belt
170lbs x 3 sets of 1

straight leg ass cable ass back SS barbell hip thrusts
12.5lbs/95lbs
x 20ass/ x 20
x 20ass/ x 20
x 20*ass/ x 20

leg spreader
75lbs x rest pause set = 100
55lbs x 25 partials

seated leg curl
drop sets
100lbs x 8
85lbs x 8
70lbs x 8
55lbs x 12

single leg curl
20lbs
x 10* paused
x 10paused
x 10paused

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

back ext. x 25

K I feel dead inside

yeah…

A couple of my reps @165 might have been a bit high, I don’t know. Maybe I am just looking for a reason to be mad at myself when there ain’t none.
I do that sometimes

Often

Daily

Non-stop, heh.

Honestly, I don’t know if there’s even a small part of me that has any interest in actually doing this meet.

It’s supposed to be fun, I know.
But when I’m nervous I get the shits
and nothing is more terrifying to me than worrying about shitting myself when I am lifting in front of a room full of people

Even when I am at the gym and I get nervous about a lift that’s not even important I darn near shit myself

It’s the stomach of an anxious mess is what it is
.

So I basically have to go into the meet knowing that I need to lift about 20lbs less on everything just so I don’t have to worry about that

Wow.
fun

Yes I am being negative
I’m allowed

Just go away world

BYE

370

That makes sense. Looking at your log it didn’t occur to me how long each element took.

371

k today:

Bench press

95lbs x 8
105lbs x 5
115lbs x 3
120lbs x 3
125lbs x 3
130lbs x 2 sets of 3

drop sets
115lbs x 9
105lbs x 12
95lbs x 17

incline DB press

32.5lbs x 12
35lbs x 2 sets of 10
27.5lbs x 10 *paused

hammer strength incline press (one arm at a time)
30lbs
x 12arm
x 12arm
x 12*arm
20lbs
x 15 partials * arm

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

reverse grip D handle tri ext. SS ropey tri ext.
10lbs/25lbs
x 12arm/ x 12
x 12arm/ x 12
x 12*arm/ x 12 + 1 drop 20lbs x 12

DB tri kick back shit
17.5lbs
x 8arm
x 8arm
x 8*arm

BYE

372

awesome deads today…

sumo deadlifts

135lbs x 6
185lbs x 6
195lbs x 6
205lbs x 6
belt
215lbs x 2 sets of 6

After every set I says to myself, I says, that was the damn lightest thing I dun’ ever picked up!

k uhh

conventional deficit deadlifts

195lbs x 5
205lbs x 4
belt
215lbs x 3 sets of 3
225lbs x 1
230lbs x 1

ALL SMOOTH LIKE…

LIKE…

a smooth thing like…

Will Smith…

my deads were as smooth as will smith

my deads were the fresh prince

DB ROW

60lbs
x 10arm
x 10arm
x 10*arm

t bar row
bar ++
75lbs
x 12
x 12
1 drop
50lbs
x 18

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

incline DB curl SS ropey curl
15lbs/20lbs
x 15/ x 12
x 15/ x 12
x 15/ x 12

one arm lat pull down SS ropey pull down
35lbs/15lbs
x 12arm/ x 15
x 12arm/ x 15
x 12*arm/ x 15

hammer curl drop set
20lbs x 8
15lbs x 8
12.5lbs x 10

strong today

I told you my mantra
all morning repeat

you’re going to be really strong someday
you’re going to be really strong someday

pre set
you’re going to be really strong TO_DAY!!!

my chiro told me my arms are getting big
but he said I look fantastic

I told you we were best friends
ya’ll didn’t believe me

BFF 4 LYFE mAn

but they are bigger
and my shirts are stupid looking

like I cant wear frilly flower girly shit because my arms are all big so its like
OooOo dainty pretty MUSCLE VEINY
but I have to wear pretty at work
but I feel miss matched

my shirt ain’t matching my arms

but I was thinking
oh and this is un related

the chaos in my mind is only calm when there is a barbell in my hands

its like blah blah blah chatter chatter annoying shit, annoying shit, negative self talk, repetitive obsessings, anxiety’s run-amuck, I’m heart broken and forever alone

INSERT BARBELL INTO PALMS

BOOM.

magic happens

all is quiet
there is nothing but love
meant to be
lift finished

chatter starts all over again

the barbell says SHHHhhhhhh
without really saying shhh
it just shushes on it’s own
like a judge has entered the room and everyone has to stand without anyone telling them to stand, they just know you have to stand
like respect

respect the barbell it demands quiet

BYE

373

K uhg…

day of lame ass shoulder shit

military press

65lbs
x 12
x 12
x 12

hammer strength iso lateral shoulder press
facing seat way

45lbs per side
x 10arm
50lbs per side
x 8arm
x 8arm
1 drop
35lbs
x 18arm

rear delt bent over cable fly
5lbs
x 15arm
x 15arm
x 15*arm

seated rear delt DB fly palms facing SS palms facing towards me SS palms facing eachother again
22.5lbs/12.5lbs/12.5lbs
x 12/ x 12/ x 12
x 12/ x 12/ x 12
x 12/ x 12/ x 12
NOREsT

giant drop super giant drop set of super giant dropping

lateral raises
17.5lbs x 10/ 12.5lbs x 10/ 10lbs x 10/ 7.5lbs x 15
10 & 2 raises
17.5lbs x 10/ 12.5lbs x 10/ 10lbs x 10/ 7.5lbs x 15
front raises
17.5lbs x 10arm/ 12.5lbs x 10arm/ 10lbs x 10arm/ 7.5lbs x 15arm

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

ropey tri ext.
30lbs
x 10 paused
x 10paused
x 10 *paused

close grip bench press

85lbs x 10
95lbs x 2 sets of 8

some painful dips cause dips are painful for crooked people apparently …

K thank G shoulder day is done. I cannot for the life of me feel accomplished on this day

I don’t get that oh my god I feel like I got hit by the heaving lifting bus post workout awesomeness

I need to think up some good bench accessory shit so I can at least feel like im helping my bench

that’s why I did my painful dips

DID NOT HELp

*RAGE

maybe this should be more of a recovery day

…
im getting a massage after work at least

NO
nothing makes this day comfortable

squats 2morrowwwwwwwwwww

for doubles
yay

BYE

374

WELP Today went well

low bar squats

135lbs x 8
155lbs x 4
165lbs x 2
belt
170lbs x 2
175lbs x 2
180lbs x 2 sets of 2
185lbs x 2 sets of 2

found a boy to spot me so I had the courage to do shit that I knew I could do :smiley:

drop sets
155lbs x 8
135lbs x 8
115lbs x 12

high bar paused squats

135lbs x 6
155lbs x 4
160lbs x 2 sets of 3
belt
165lbs x 2
170lbs x 2 sets of 2

paused front squats
95lbs x 2 sets of 4
105lbs x 4

too tired to care how weak sauce / easy those were

now I care though
:confused:

step mill intervals x 20 minutes

ass machine
150lbs
x 6ass
x 6ass
x 6*ass

leg ext SS DB squat
100lbs/27.5lbs
x 8/ x 12
x 8/ x 12
x 8 + 1 drop 55lbs x 8/ x 15

one leg on bench cable ass backs
10lbs
x 10 1 &1/2 reps *ass
x 12 1 &1/2 reps *ass

Is that all…?

Yes…

I was there for like 3 years
Maybe 3 and a half
I squatted for well over an hour

I should have front squatted more weight that was easy and stupid
But I felt like it was time to hurry up and move on

NO EXCUSE
Sort of an excuse

Hopefully that dude can spot me every Thursday

I hope I don’t die, I said.
I hope I don’t fart
I hope I don’t die by farting, I said.

I neither died or farted

I kept having reoccurring dreams were someone spotted me on the squat
and now it finally came true!!

because I asked…

BYE

1 Like
375

k another gooder

bench press

100lbs x 12
105lbs x 3 sets of 12

paused bench

115lbs x 3 sets of 4
125lbs x 1
130lbs x 2 sets of 1 <def. longest paused @ 130 I’ve ever done for both of em, so I’m pleased with that. Would pass in a meet it would…

cable rear delt fly

10lbs
x 20arm
x 20arm
x 20*arm

seated DB press SS Arnold press

30lbs/15lbs
x 12/ x 10
x 10/ x 10
x 10/ x 12

standing one arm lateral raise while the other arm iso holds SS seated lateral raise
7.5lbs/10lbs
x 10 arm + 10 both arm slow neg/ x 10
x 10arm + 10 both arm slow neg/ x 10
x 10* arm + 10 both arm slow neg/ x 10

rear delt DB fly
drop sets
25lbs x 10
20lbs x 10
15lbs x 12
10lbs x 25

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

EZ bar tri ext.
57.5lbs
x 8
x 8
x 8
2 drops
35lbs
x I forget
30lbs
x I forget

My day really cant feel right until I’ve moved something heavy

Everything was all like meh until my 130lb paused felt hard
and by hard I mean awesome
cause easy not heavy shit feels terrible
In a non fun way

NE WAY
glad it’s weekend soon
my body hurts
In a fun way

bYE

376

K keep on, keepin’ on…

Conventional deadlifts

135lbs x 6
185lbs x 4
205lbs x 4
belt
215lbs x 4
220lbs x 2 sets of 4
220lbs x 3 + 1 <–needed a sec to reset shit to keep the last rep tidy

sumo deadlifts

215lbs x 2 sets of 3
belt
225lbs x 3
230lbs x 2 sets of 2

tester set (conventional)

185lbs x 15

DB row
65lbs
x 8arm
x 8arm
x 8*arm

55lbs
x 17*arm

kayak rows SS seated row cable
30lbs/100lbs
x 12arm/ x 8
x 12arm/ x 8
x 12*arm/ x 8 + 1 drop 70lbs x 10

sitting sideways lat pull down SS straight arm pull down
25lbs/25lbs
x 15arm/ x 15
x 15arm/ x 15
x 15*arm/ x 20

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

bicep curl machine
40lbs x 10 *slow neg
50lbs x 8 *slow neg
55lbs x 8

D handle cable bi curl
10lbs
x 12arm
x 12arm
x 15*arm

K good

I was worried for a sec when I came home cause I thought I had already done 220 x 4 and I was supposed to maybe try 225 but it turns out my last 4 day was 215 and for my last 3 day 3 weeks ago I could barely do 220 x 3 :smiley:

Ill take 2 sets of 4 and 1 extended set thank ya very much indeed!!!

I still feel very conflicted about my meet

I signed up for it on such a whim because my life was boring and I was sad about my unfulfilling job

But now I love my job and im not sad and all I am is stressed out and sleep deprived about every aspect of my meet.

I’m not the type of person who competes in shit
I don’t do shit…

I do my own shit
hermit shit
loner shit
I like that shit

Lots of people don’t understand that and assume it’s just avoidance caused by anxiety
but I genuinely like my loner hermit shit
I love my loner hermit shit

Also my work schedule for may sucks balls and that weekend because I booked it off is pretty much the only time the whole month I get a weekend off and even two days off in a row for that matter
That makes me sad

But all of that is irrelevant

I simply just don’t want to do it

k BYE

377

K epic squat magic

Squats, the magical creature.

The first rep is like, “how the fuck do I ever do this?” The last rep is like “Holy fuck, I can never stop doing this”

High bar squats

135lbs x 12
145lbs x 12
150lbs x 12
155lbs x 12

low bar paused squats

145lbs x 2 sets of 5
155lbs x 4
165lbs x 2
belt
170lbs x 2
175lbs x 1
180lbs x 2 sets of 1
185lbs x 1 ← LIKE AIR, FELT LIKE AIR, heavy air… Easiest most wonderful rep of the day

Twas the doctor that brought me back to life N E WAY

Bent leg cable ass kick backs SS barbell hip thrusts
10lbs/135lbs
x 20ass/ x 12
15lbs/145lbs
x 15ass/ x 10
20lbs/155lbs
x 12*ass/ x 8

ropey cable pull throughs SS lying leg curl
25lbs/40lbs
x 20/ x 10 slow neg
30lbs/45lbs
x 20/ x 10slow neg
30lbs/50lbs
x 20/ x 10 + 1 drop 30lbs x 15

leg spreader drop sets

175lbs x 8
145lbs x 8
115lbs x 10
85lbs x 12
70lbs x 15
55lbs x 30 partials

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

single leg curl
10lbs
x 8 1&1/2 rep *leg
x 8 1&1/2 rep *leg

I got 9 hours of sleep last night
like a rock
Whoooooooo disturbs my slumber
It…it is I…your alarm that you set for no apparent reason

don’t even remember a single dream

!

I need to buy a new toilet brush

Something happened yesterday
I ate emotionally
Eating is the only thing where my hormones and my bat shit crazy ness steer away from because emotional eating leads to anxiety which leads to more anxiety and more emotions etc etc…

I am not a person who eats cupcakes because a boy rejected them
Obviously…
Otherwise I’d be about 300lbs by now *pity party

But yesterday my kid sprained his ankle on a friends trampoline
My heart hurt. I felt very sad inside
He was a trooper and didn’t even cry
but he has these little crutches and this little boot thing and it makes my heart weepy
So I had extra protein powder before bed
…

That was the extent of my emotional eating
But it was emotional eating non the less
I am upset jenn. Jenn I am upset, please give me more protein powder.
Jenn I will give you more protein powder, not because you are hungry, but because you are upset

I think it was like a tablespoon IDK

This guy came in to work the other day with an ironman ring
Your ring, I says!! Look at your ring
ANd he’s all like
Hey guuuuurl I see you ain’t got no rings on yerr fingers

I was like
Humm, errr, well… I did have a terminator skull ring at one point, but it broke

Well, you seem pretty nice, I wouldn’t mind putting a ring on your finger

Oh,

Awkward

Why do the boys I like run from me and the boys I am not interested in are really forward …
wellllllllll
?

I better go I have to spend the next 3 hours prepping every aspect of my upcoming week

BEY
B YE
BYE

378

welllll

hello there

Bench press

95lbs x 8
115lbs x 4
120lbs x 4
125lbs x 5 sets of 4

tester set

105lbs x 17

incline DB press

35lbs x 12 *paused
40lbs x 10 *paused
42.5lbs x 2 sets of 8
30lbs x 12 *paused

hammer strength incline press
rest/pause set (one arm at a time)
30lbs
x 12, 11, 10, 9, 8 *arm

One arm DB flat bench press SS DB squeeze press
30lbs/10lbs
x 10arm/ x 15
x 10arm/ x 15

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

reverse grip D handle tri ext. SS cable tri ext.
10lbs/5lbs
x 12arm/ x 15arm
x 12arm/ x 15arm
x 12arm/ x 15arm

DB tri over head ext.
12.5lbs
x 8arm
x 8arm
x 10*arm

DOne

my pec muscles look like plastic in the mirror
like at home when im straightening my hair

they look like plastic pec implants
WHy are my pec muscles my best muscles , but the ones I care about the least/train with the least amount of enthusasim enthusiasm ?

I went to bed last night thinking like…

I never dream about marshall anymore
Ever
Not one
All I dream about is my chiropractor and weird animal dreams
Like puppy/kitty/bunny mostly, or that hamster one

I don’t think about animals before I fall asleep, why do I keep dreaming about them?

But then I also realized I never dream about the real slim shady anymore either
and that I miss him
The real one
not the fake , shitty one
So then last night I managed to dream about him again
I don’t really remember it well, something about him missing the grammy’s so that he could talk to me or something.
Wonderful

tHEN! I had that same thing happen that happened a few months ago when I put the until the end of time song on my ipod

Yesterday I put THe Doggfather on my ipod
But I forgot
Then I had a dream that I put the doggfather on my ipod and it came on

I woke up thinking man I need to put the doggfather on my ipod
Middle of my workout BOOM!
The doggfather came on
I was like WUUUUUUUUUT?! I did put this on there?! Fantastic!

Made me smile

I’m the doggfather…and ya know me
Snoop dogg is dogg is doggg dogggg fatherrrrrrr snoooopy dogg
ya…

Straight up G

G-ed up from the feet up

I wish I knew what I was talking about

I always wonder why my brain never comes with me when I go anywhere
Why does it always stay home
It’s here when I’m here, cleaning, sorting, planning
but then I go to work and it just stays here and I say and think really stupid things because my brain isn’t around to talk sense into me

Please enter your pin for me
pleae enter your pin for me
I just need you pin one more time for the withdrawl
pelase enter your pin
PEInpIn
pijnp

pojn
pijn
PIJNNNNN
PINnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
I got CSB a gift a few weeks ago
but I cant give it to him because we don’t talk or see one another anymore
but it bugs me because its not mine and I don’t want to be in possession of something that’s not mine
I stole a gift
I cant use a stolen gift
I just wouldn’t feel right

Im so fucking thoughtful
I hate my fucking thoughtful ness

like when I special ordered marshall the super Mario pipe for all his pot smoking
or the TMNT flask for all his alcoholism

No more MRS nice bitch
Miss nice bitch
no more just fucking go away
FORER
FOREVER
BYE

379

If you don’t want to compete, don’t. No sense in giving yourself extra shit to deal with. You know you’re getting stronger so you don’t need to prove it on the platform.

Hope your son gets better soon.

380

thanks buddy!! I did cancel out of the meet on Saturday and have been feeling/sleeping a LOT better. Glad with my decision, just don’t know how I am going to break it to my chiropractor…