What Business is it of Yours Where I'm From, Friendo?

[Spock81]

I honestly do not know how people do one exercise at a time…for realz…

K did maybe “too” much today, I dunno. Felt a bit like it… but I don’t believe in too much so I guess I shouldn’t say shit like that, LOL.

K ass day

Cable glute kick backs SS barbell hip thrusts
5lbs/95lbs
x 20ass/ x 20
10lbs/ 115lbs
x 20ass/ x 15
15lbs/ 135lbs
x 20ass/ x 12
15lbs / 145lbs
x 20ass/ x 10
20lbs/ 165lbs
x 20ass/ x 10
25lbs/ 185lbs
x 15ass/ x 6 <–NOT PLEASED so I did it again
30lbs/ 185lbs
x 12ass/ x 8 <–better…
30lbs/ 195lbs
x 10ass/ x 6 + 2 drop sets 145lbs x 10 I think, 95lbs x 20
last set of kick backs
35lbs x 8ass + drop sets 25lbs x 8ass, 15lbs x 8*ass, 10lbs x 15 partials *ass
wtf am I talking about.

Uhh ropey pull throughs SS paused squats
25lbs x 20/ 95lbs x 8
30lbs x 20/ 115lbs x 8
30lbs x 20/ 135lbs x 6
35lbs x 20/ 145lbs x 4
35lbs x 20/ 155lbs x 4
35lbs x 20 / 165lbs x 3
35lbs x 20/ 170lbs x 3 ← felt better than 165 actually, so pleased with this 1 drop set 135lbs x 17

K this is when I started feeling like holy shit I still have so much to do but it feels like I’ve been here forever. Just a shitty mindset I guess
Continuing on…

ass machine
150lbs x 6ass
150lbs x 6ass
150lbs x 6*ass
110lbs x 25 partials *ass

smith machine step ups
25lbs per side x 8leg
30lbs per side x 8leg

leg spreader
115lbs x 10
130lbs x 10
130lbs x 10
70lbs x 10 + 30 some odd partials until shaky time

BW reverse hypers
x 10
x 15

back ext.
x AMRAP squeezy holy pokey

oh stepmill intervals x 20 minutes
Seriously DONE
I was done
D-O_N-E!

K today was weird.
Weird like manic mixed with misery.
One minute was like I AM TEH GREATEST
the next it was like omg I want to die
That was awesome!!
That was awful
I need to leave
No I still have moar to do
Ahhhhhhhh
why am I this way
Oh
Because I;m crazeEE

I have a gym hero
WEll,
there’s this boy who is so hardcore that he chalks his back when he squats and has this amazing bench arch set up thing like he totally know what he’s doing and today he was doing PAUSED DEADS
be still my beating heart
Ill talk to him in 2017 LOL

KBYE

[Spock81]

Allllllllrighty then

So yesterday was a little bit hard emotionally. Was bummed to say the least…
I don’t know exactly what got me so upset, but I know that I’ve been having a hard time mentally dealing with my crooked-ness.
And what may seem like “nothing” to same people, is a huge deal to me. It puts my mind in a constant state of discomfort (OCD), and makes me very irritable.
So I was talking to my mom on the phone and I got all wigged out and started yelling at her about my crooked-ness, like…
“I’ve spent thousands of dollars on the best supplements, food, clothes and gym accessories,I’ve lost all my fking friends, I have no f*Cking life out side of this!!! Every g’damn morning for hours every single day without ever letting up. I’ve sacrificed everything I had to put into this passion and I can’t even do a fucIng pull up straight!!! I look like a fuc*ing ogre, I hate my body I hate my life I hate verything about this, I’m repulsive !!!”
screaming
I didn’t realize that I actually felt that way, it just came outta me.
Okay Jenn…okay, you call me back when you’ve calmed down.
So I’ve calmed down.
I need a break
Not a break from the gym, I break from all my crazy obnoxious rules.
Like OMG today is a 30 min cardio day and 1/2 cup sweet potato day and I have to leave by exactly 5:56am or I will be late and blahhh. Just enough already !!!

Shoulder day:
bent over rear delt cable fly SS cable lateral raise
5lbs/5lbs
x 12arm/x 12arm/
x 12arm/ x 12arm
x 12arm/ x 12arm

landmind press SS 1 arm DB press
bar ++
10lbs/ 20lbs
x 10arm/ x 12arm
15lbs/ 20lbs
x 10arm/ x 12arm
17.5lbs/ 20lbs
x 10arm/ x 15arm

incline DB press SS one arm facing incline bench rear DB fly
27.5lbs/ 10lbs
x 15 / x 15arm
30lbs/ 10lbs
x 12/ x 15arm
35lbs/ 10lbs
x 10/ x 15arm
40lbs x 8 + 2 drop sets 30lbs x 10 I think, 20lbs x 15/ 10lbs x 20arm

lateral raise machine
30lbs x 15
50lbs x 10
30lbs x 15
///
30lbs x 15
50lbs x 10
30lbs x 15

hammer strength iso lateral shoulder press (one arm at a time) SS rear delt DB fly
25lbs per side/ 17.5lbs
x 10arm actually maybe 12 I forget, / x 20
35lbs per side/ 17.5lbs
x 10arm/ x 20
40lbs per side x 8*arm + 1 drop set 25lbs per side x 15/ 17.5lbs x 20 + 2 drop sets 12.5lbs x 20, 7.5lbs x 30

oh then I did a giant shoulder drop set
first set
17.5lbs
x 8 straight arm lateral raise, x 8 bent arm lateral raise, x 8 10 &2 raises, x 8 arm front raises
12.5lbs
x 8 straight arm, x 8 bent arm, x 8 10&2 raises, x 8arm front raises
7.5lbs
x 10 straight arm, x 12 bent arm x 15 10 &2 raises, x 20*arm front raises

more shit I did uhh
reverse grip D handle tri ex, SS cable tri ext, SS standing cable rear delt fly
10lbs/5lbs/5lbs
x 8arm/ x 20arm/ x 15arm
x 8arm/ x 20arm/ x 15arm
x 8arm/ x 20arm/ x 35*arm

holy shit this is taking forever I had no idea I did this much , LOL

cable cross over SS standing rear delt fly
10lbs/ 12.5lbs I think? No idea
x 20(low setting)/ x 10 palms facing way + 10 overhand, I forget the correct term
x 20(middle setting)/ x 10 + 10
x 20(highest setting)/ x 10 + 10 or 15 or some shit

lat pull down with rope
55lbs x 20
55lbs x 20

done??
I think…
NO CARDIO MINUTES
and post workout cereal instead of rice cakes on a NON CARB UP DAY oh the insanity

props to anyone who actually can understand what the F I am talking about.

Gotta think up more one arm exercises cause I refuse to do two arm shit for now until I can get myself straighter .
I thought ropey attachment could count as a single arm thing because it seems very separated, but even doing that at the end bothered me a little bit because I could tell I wasn’t straight
#crazypeopleproblems

K BYE

[orion]

Um…

Have a burger !?!

[Spock81]

Oh my heavens no…
I had a somewhat unmeasured 1/2 cup of sweet potato, felt over the mooooooon

[Spock81]

okay missed yesterday’s workout, but it was a gooder so ima try N’ remember some shit…

Quad/ass day

close stance quad dominant squats SS DB squat
95lbs/30lbs
x 10/ x 10
115lbs/ 30lbs
x 10/ x 10
135lbs/30lbs
x 10/ x 10
145lbs/30lbs
x 10/ x 10
155lbs/30lbs
x 10/ x 10
165lbs/30lbs
x 10 + 1 drop set 115lbs x AMRAP/ x 30

smith machine spit squats SS super close stance smith squats
25lbs per side/ 50lbs per side
x 8leg/ x 6
x 8leg/ x 6
x 8*leg/ x 6 + 1 drop set 25lbs x 12

single leg leg ext.
30lbs x 15leg (paused)
35lbs x 15leg
40lbs x 12leg + 2 drop sets 25lbs x I forget + I forget partials, 20lbs x 10leg (long pause)

leg press machine drop sets
250lbs x 8
190lbs x 10
150lbs x 12
110lbs x 25

one leg on bench ass kickback cable whatever
5lbs x 10 1&1/2 reps*ass
10lbs x 10 1&1/2 reps *ass
15lbs x 10 1&1/2 reps ass
20lbs x 10ass + 1 drop set some weight x some reps + some crazy # of partials

stability ball hip thrusts
x 50 + 25 partials

30 min step mill intervals

Funny thinking back to my day declaring no rules . NO RULES!!

So I had a dream I was on the stairmaster and “until the end of time” came on (PAC) and in my dream I was thinking this had symbolism. Maybe taking the meaning of the song totally the wrong way, but to me it meant that until the end of time I will be this way. Crazy and passionate, frustrated and determined. Forever disordered, until the end of time.
A train wreck on a mission.

You know what reminded me of this dream? Because that day I declared no rules I went back to the gym in the afternoon and did the stepmill for 30 minutes and until the end of time came on.
WHICH was f-ing weird because I forgot I actually put that song back on my ipod. I thought it was only in my dream that it was on there!!
Weird with a capital W!!!

Anyway, for today’s workout I basically did 500000000000000 reps of rear dealts so do not even want to attempt to post what I did.

I have decided (but perhaps only because I am in a good mood), that I am not going to let my crooked-ness get me down anymore. I shall not berate myself because of an imperfection, I will simply just rise to the challenge. SOME DAY I WILL
be straight …

BYE

[Spock81]

K I’m runnin’ on no sleep Jerry, NO SLEEP !! (Seinfield)
(Kramer)
(said to jerry)
I think it was the episode where the chicken restaurant lights were keeping him up or something, I dunno it’s been like 10 years. W/E!!!

I was thinking a lot about my mental breakdown on Saturday and my plan to take a break from rules and how my planned break actually somehow lead to more cardio and fewer carb up days (?)
Why are you so mean to me, Jenn? I asked her…
She didn’t know.
I don’t think I am going to start seeing real progress until I can get mentally healthier about this. I do hope to compete someday and how much of a disaster would it be if I was going into it so disordered and unable to think rationally about anything?

So I went to bed last night and decided that when I wake up I don’t want to be disordered anymore. (LOL)
Things have been very rocky for me since my complete and utter mental breakdown that happened near the end of April.
All of the stuff that happened and rehappened with Marshall and hiding in my closet and not being able to go back to work, yadda yadda, it impacted me a lot (obvs.) and still does.
Like I went into my closet to tidy something up and like a flash back from when I had to hide in there for weeks because I couldn’t function just that made me feel very emotional.
Like embarrassed, ashamed, worried it would happen to me again. I’ve not really experienced something that severe before.
I want to be a healthy, functioning adult.
Like I cannot leave my house past 6 at night? I shit you not the thought terrifies me. I went to the dress rehearsal in the afternoon for my sons xmas concert because I couldn’t deal with staying out until 7:30.
But bless his heart he loves me anyway.

So a few ideas circling around my mind

I want to only do cardio 3-5 times a week< NOT 7!!!!! 
I want days off, not once every 2 years, not once a month, LIKE ONCE  A WEEK. A day to sleep in past 4:30, something, anything.
I want a real cheat meal, not a cup of sweet potato.  A dinner date out with my son once or twice a month 
I want to be able to go to movies sometimes too, because where it's at right now I can't stomach the thought of sitting for more than 30 minutes at a time
...
Something I love so much should not cause so much sadness and frustration.
If John meadows can go out for pancakes with his wife and Dana Linn Bailey can eat cake and take road trips I should be able to give myself some leeway. G_DAMN 

So ya just being overly excited about some emotional freedom made me literally get about 2 hrs of sleep.

Success for today I didn't do the stairmaster and I do not plan to go back to make up for it :/angry:

BYE

[Spock81]

K!!!

Hi

Ass day

glute cable kick backs SS barbell hip thrust
10lbs/ 95lbs
x 20ass/ x 12
10lbs/115lbs
x 20ass/x 12
10lbs/ x 135lbs
x 20ass/ x 12
15lbs/ 145lbs
x 20ass/ x 12
15lbs/ 165lbs
x 20ass/ x 12
15lbs / 180lbs
x 20ass/ x 12 + 1 drop 115lbs x 15
15lbs x 20*ass + 1 drop 5lbs x 20 partials *ass

k straight leg glute cable kick backs SS 7 count paused squats
10lbs / 95lbs
x 10 1/1/2 reps/ x 4
10lbs/ 135lbs
x 10 1/1/2 reps/ x 4
holy shit this is going to take forever
10lbs/ 145lbs
x 101/1/2 reps / x 3
x 10 1/1/2 reps / x 3
x 10 1/1/2 reps /x 3
x 10/ 1/12 reps/ x 3
x 10 1/12 reps/ x 3

K just wanted good long deep pauses and lots of volume for my pausers, eayhhh

um oh
I did this cable RDL thing where I stood on a bench and stuff like I saw in a video and I really liked it, got a good stretch in my hamstrings and felt actually more effective for me…
20lbs x 20
25lbs x 20
30lbs x 20
35lbs x 20
42.5lbs x 20

leg spreader
145lbs x 10
165lbs x 10
175lbs x 10
drop sets
100lbs x 10
85lbs x 10
55lbs x 50 partials

smith machine split squats
25lbs per side x 8leg
35lbs per side x 8leg
40lbs per side x 8*leg

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

back ext. X AMRAP

K there, trying to do less than normal, LOL>
This is me cutting back…
I feel like im letting myself go diet wise. I don’t even know why I feel that way.
Actually the reason I feel that way is very stupid. Usually my carb up days are wed. and sat, sat being highest, wed being moderate
But last week I was rushed for time on wed and I wanted to enjoy my carb up so I moved it to Thursday so my carb up days were thurs and sat and that seems too close together so I feel like I’m just going crazzeee
K so I need to think outloud
This past week I cut down from 5—7 cardio days
next week ill only do 4 and ill stick at 4 for a while
so my carb up days will lowered also
so
ass day is high day, post workout cereal for my cheat :S 1 cup rice instead of 1/2, for breakfast, 1/3 cup quinoa at lunch instead of 1/4 cup, supper 1/3 cup rice instead of none.
Other lower carb up day is cereal post workout, 3/4 cup rice instead of 1/2. OMG LMAO so much for not being disordered, k 1/4 quinoa at lunch like normal and none at supper like normal
Oh, extra protein powder before bed on both days
fuck me im tired
what the hell am I talking about
yeah, no that all makes sense to me
just those two days
and I changed sweet potato to rice because sweet potato is too delicious and it makes me feel really hungry after I eat it
Gotta keep this shit under control
I think this is all logical and rational but I’m a whack-a-nut so who knows really
k good bYE

[Spock81]

well there you go, self, as you can clearly see your carb up days being one day apart instead of two days apart for one week have changed your body composition significantly and you are now morbidly obese …

uhhhhhhhh

SCRABBLE PJ PANTS

[Spock81]

K shoulders/chest etc…

bent over rear delt cable fly SS lean away DB lateral raise
5lbs/10lbs
x 12arm/ x 20arm
x 12arm/ x 25arm
x 12arm/ x 30arm

landmine press SS one arm DB press SS one arm DB lateral raise where I hold the other up while the other one does reps, U UDNERSTAND?
bar + 10lbs/ 25lbs/ 7.5lbs
x 10arm/ x 8arm/ x 10arm + 10 both arm
x 10arm/ x 8arm/ x 10arm + 10 both arm
x 12arm/ x 10arm/ x 10 *arm + 10 both arm + 20 partials

Incline DB press SS inline DB front raise SS rear delt DB fly
30lbs/ 7.5lbs/ 7.5lbs
x 15/ x 12/ x 20
35lbs/7.5lbs/ 7.5lbs
x 10/ x 12/ x 20
x 10/ x 12/ x 20
x 10/ x 12/ x 20

pec fly machine one arm at a time
40lbs
x 15arm
x 15arm
x 15*arm

cable tri ext SS cable rear delt fly
5lbs
x 20arm/ x 15arm
10lbs
x 12arm/ x 12arm
x 10arm + 1 drop set 5lbs x 15 partials// x 12arm

30 min step mill intervals

K had a pretty (sorta) mentally calm workout today.
__Trying to take a more relaxed approach==
All I can do is try.

Read a good post by Shelby starnes (I highly recommend creeping his facebook, BTW, he has a lot of gems). Basically it was about two different approaches to the same thing
One girl goes all out to be the best and puts 10000000% in and she’s miserable, anxious, and burnt out
the other girl has a more relaxed approach and puts in like 78% and is a happy, functioning human being
I want to be girl # 2 she seems much more pleasant
Fuckin’ sick of being girl #1
Instead of going to the gym panicked because omg I am late I only have 1.5 hrs to train, stress, rush, superset AHH AH AH!!
IT should be like, oh, good, I still have like 20 years of my life to work at this endeavour. Plenty of time.
No rush, I’ll get there.
Oh and I got a food scale so I could be more anal (LOL) and I am eating roughly around 1810 calories on my non-carb up days
Seems legit
Weird though I measured my chicken and it was like 4.8 oz and online it said a serving was 3.0 oz which to me seems like the tiniest hunk of chicken ever. So my chicken turned out to be like 120calories more than I thought but I was still eating fewer calories than my in-a-constant-state-of-guilt mind was assuming .
Does anyone else feel that way? Like I do? I feel guilty about my entire existence basically.
I feel sorry for my parents and my son and even people like my massage lady.
I don’t know if that’s normal.
No…

BYE

[2busy]

I don’t see that in your pic.

Jen, your progress is great. Be that #2 girl and go enjoy life.

[Spock81]

I am trying 2B!! Honest…

K quad/ass day today

close stance quad dominant squats SS DB squats
95lbs/40lbs
x 6/ x 10
115lbs/ 40lbs
x 6/ x 10
135lbs/ x 40lbs
x 6/ x 10
145lbs/ 40lbs
x 6/ x 10
155lbs/ 40lbs
x 6/ x 10
165lbs/ 40lbs
x 6/ x 10
170lbs/ 40lbs
x 6 + 1 drop 125lbs x 15/ x 15
K happy with that, coulda easily done 175 x 6, but wanted to keep it all tidy

super close stance smith machine squats
25lbs per side x 12
50lbs per side
x 10
x 10
x 10
x 10

since leg leg ext.
50lbs
x 8leg
60lbs
x 8leg
x 8leg
drop sets
30lbs
x 8leg (long pause for each rep)
20lbs
x 20 partials *leg

one leg on bench glute kick cable backs
10lbs
x 20ass
x 20ass
x 20*ass

ass machine
110lbs
x 8 1 & 1/2 reps *ass
x 8 1 & 1/2 reps *ass

step mill intervals x 20 minutes

stability ball hip thrust
x 50 + 25 partials

K DONE, did practically nothing today, LOL

I basically remind myself to be mindful during each rep of each set to keep my anxiety to a minimum.
Mindful Jenn
Mindful
No…calm…
You have done nothing that warrants guilt
Mindful
You’re doing great

Keeps the demons sedated

BYE

[Spock81]

K back/bi day today

one arm cable pull down to warm up
5lbs x 20arm
10lbs x 20arm
10lbs x 20arm + 1 drop set 5 lbs x 20arm

one arm DB row SS one arm db rear delt fly
40lbs/10lbs I think
x 12arm/ x 15arm
x 12arm/ x 15arm
x 12arm/ x 15arm
x 15arm/ x 20arm

incline bench DB chest supported row SS incline plate rear delt fly
20lbs/ 5lbs
x 15/ x 30
x 15/ x 30
x 20/ x 40

cable station two arm lat pull down, no idea what to call this, I’ll google, one sec.
Ya okay two arm cable station lat pull down, LOL SS cable D handle bicep curl
30lbs/ 15lbs
x 20/ x 8arm
35lbs/ 15lbs
x 15/ x 8arm
40lbs/ 15lbs
x 12/ x 8arm
42.5lbs/15lbs
x 10 + drop sets, 35lbs x 10, 30lbs x 10, 25lbs x no idea, 20lbs x no idea/ x 8arm + 1 drop set 10lbs x 12*arm

kayak rows SS straight arm pull down
25lbs/ 25lbs
x 15arm/ x 15
x 15arm/ x 15
x 15*arm/ x 15

hammer strength front pull down, one arm at a time
40lbs x 12arm
50lbs x 10arm
60lbs x 10*arm
30lbs x 20 partials *arm

seated DB curl SS db rear delt fly
20lbs/ 12.5lbs
x 8arm/ x 15
x 8arm/ x 15
x 8arm + 1 drop 12.5lbs x 12arm/ x 20

yeah, that’s all I did
…
Lost my mindfulness near the beginning though. I don’t know what made me feel upset to be honest.
Tryin’ to get my anxiety speak to me instead of just trying to tune it out with obnoxious brain chatter.
What are you trying to tell me? What’s upsetting you??? I’m listening
It had no response .
Lots of times I find I get panic attacks because that guy that asked me out walks by me and I’m worried he will talk to me and it will be awkward.
Or a certain song with bother me mentally for whatever reason and if I don’t change it fast enough I get wigged out
I mean ya, I dunno really. Sometimes there just no rhyme or reason and it just is.

Like maybe it’s sorta funny to ignorant people or people who have never really struggled with any type of mental illness, but this is very hard for me to try and do less or to try and make other areas of my life a priority over my gym obsession. I feel like a quitter or like I’m giving up on myself.
And all those annoying posts on social media don’t help. The ones that are supposed to be motivational like Work harder, get out of your comfort zone, push yourself, get your ass to the gym, make it a challenge, blah blah.
I’m over here all like, I need to find ways to force myself to do less. I need to work easier.
I need a break, I need rest. I feel like I’m falling apart physically and mentally and I’m just trying to figure out a way to make peace and cooperate with my ocd so that I don’t fall out of love with my passion completely and eternally.
Anyway, W/E
BYE

[Spock81]

K issued myself a good, swift kick in the rear today.

Also, successfully completed another day (yesterday) without going back to the gym to do cardio. Baby steps.
Baby steps for zee baby.

Hamstrings/ass day

Wide stance squats SS plié squats
95lbs/40lbs
x 8/ x 12
115lbs/ 40lbs
x 8/ x 12
135lbs/ 40lbs
x 8/ x 12
145lbs/ 40lbs
x 8/ x 12
155lbs/ 40lbs
x 8/ x 12
165lbs/ 40lbs
x 8 + 1 drop set 125lbs x 8 *paused/ x 20

smith machine step ups (on a bench)
10lbs per side
x 10leg
15lbs per side
x 10leg
20lbs per side
x 10*leg

cable ass kick backs
10lbs
x 15 bent leg + 15 straight leg partials*ass
x 15 bent leg + 15 straight leg partials *ass
x 15 bent leg + 15 straight leg partials *ass
x 15 bent leg + 15 straight leg partials *ass

single leg curl
20lbs
x 12leg
x 12leg
x 12*leg

seated leg curl SS DB RDL
100lbs/ 25lbs
x 6/ x 15
x 6/ x 15
x 6 + drop sets 70lbs x 8, 55lbs x 8, 40lbs x 12 partials/ x 15

more ass kick backs (straight leg) SS ropey cable pull throughs
15lbs/ 30lbs
x 15ass/ x 20
x 15ass/ x 20
x 15*ass/ x 20

Stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

back ext. x AMRAP squeezy pokey holy

K felt really good today. Didn’t want to leave, BACK TO NORMAL?
My normal…
which isn’t normal in the slightest
Back to odd, which is my normal
.

I did a lot of planning yesterday
Booking appointments and planning future stuff to be excited about.
I did it all in a calm frame of mind so that I wasn’t just doing stuff on the spur of the moment and making decisions that were based on anxiety VS rational thinking
I put it all on my super mom fridge calendar thingie (which comes with stickers )
SHIT
IS
ORGANIZED

I booked massages, and hair apts and just all around good, happy shit.
On march 17th i’m getting my hair dyed.
OHhhh and something that warranted a ! mark sticker! A dinner date reservation for me and Gabe at the Keg for Valentines. I’ve never had a date on valentines before

BYE

[Spock81]

K shoulders/chest/tri

Had a lot of fun today!

One arm cable rear delt fly
5lbs
x 20arm
x 20arm
x 20*arm
(Three diff pin heights, for three diff angles biotchessss)

seated one arm DB press SS Arnold press
25lbs/17.5lbs
x 10arm/ x 15
x 10arm/ x 15
x 10*arm/ x 15

hammer strength iso lateral shoulder press (facing seat) SS alternating DB front raise
25lbs per side/ 17.5lbs
x 15arm/ x 10arm
35lbs per side/ 17.5lbs
x 12arm/ x 10arm
40lbs per side/ 17.5lbs
x 10arm/ x 10arm
45lbs per side/ 17.5lbs
x 10arm + 1 drop set 95lbs x 15arm/ x 15*arm

slight incline DB pec power fly SS DB rear delt row (palms facing me, whatever this is called)
30lbs/ 15lbs
x 15/ x 25
35lbs/ 20lbs
x 15/ x 25
x 15 + 1 drop 25lbs x 15/ x 25 + 1 drop 15lbs x 25

uhh what’s next…

oh hammer strength incline press (one arm at a time)
30lbs
x 12arm
40lbs
x 8arm
x 8*arm
maybe this was 50lbs I cant member
maybe it was 40lbs and 50lbs or 30lbs and 40lbs AHhhhhhhhhhh
1 drop set
20lbs x 25 partials *arm

one last thing
one last thing of many little things
db lateral raise SS rear delt DB fly ss one arm db tri overhead ext SS db tri kick backs
15lbs/15lbs/10lbs/10lbs
x 15/ x 15/ x 15arm/ x 15arm
x 20/ x 20/ x 20arm/ x 20arm
x 25/ x 25/ x 25arm/ x 25arm

K dONE and pleased.

I think cool, needs chalk on his back to squat boy, was having a bad workout.
I don’t even know why I thought that.
Cause I have a creepy sixth sense for other people’s emotions
I sensed frustration
I felt bad for him
Frustrated workouts are the worst
Speaking of frustrated, let’s all take a gander at my crookedness and asses if it’s improving at all?

I’m still missing half a right rear delt
But I think only doing one arm shit is helping a lot. It’s been bout three weeks now? Almost? Maybe?
BYE

[2busy]

I think it’s shadows hiding the right delt.

Good job on having fun!

[Spock81]

KKKKKKkkk another good-der
I’m ona roll!

Back/bi

D handle straight arm pull down for warm up
5lbs x 20arm
10lbs x 20arm
10lbs x 20*arm

cable station D handle row SS bent over D handle cable rear delt fly
30lbs/5lbs
x 12arm/ x 12arm
x 12arm/ x 12arm
x 12arm + 1 drop 20lbs x 12arm/ x 12*arm

one arm D handle lat pull down
27.5lbs x 10arm
42.5lbs x 8arm
42.5lbs x 8arm
47.5lbs x 8arm + 1 drop set 25lbs x 20 partials *arm

uhh cable station standing in the middle lat pull down thing
Whatever it is
it makes me feel like a gym god
I’m beginning to feel like a gym god
WHY BE A KING WHEN U CAN B A GOD?
right so oh, I super setted that with standing cable rear delt fly
30lbs/5lbs
x 20/ x 20arm
x 20/ x 20arm
x 20 + 1 drop 20lbs x 25/ x 25 + 25 partials *arm

thennnnnnn
two arm DB row SS rear delt DB fly SS rear delt plate fly on a incline bench
30lbs/ 7.5lbs/5lbs
x 10/ x 15/ x 30
x 10/ x 15/ x 30
x 15/ x 20/ x 50

incline DB curl SS hammer curl
15lbs/15lbs
x 10/ x 10
x 10/ x 10
x 12/ x 15

stepmill intervals x 30 minutes

Ohh lawd I was so relieved that I was allowed to do the stairmaster again after not doing it yesterday, LOL> I guess that’s one way to stop hating it is to take it away.
I HATE YOU GET AWAY FROM ME
Fine, I’m leaving
WAIT COME BACK I NEED YOU I LOVE YOU I’M SORRY

I also started talking to my right (tiny) lat. I call it hey you. Hey you, wake up. Grow, activate !
YOUU MISTER! Where U at?!

Kbye

[Spock81]

oh man, k ass day

one leg on bench cable glute kick backs SS barbell hip thrusts
5lbs/95lbs
x 10 1&1/2 repsass/ x 10
10lbs/115lbs
x 10 1&1/2 repsass/ x 10
10lbs/ 135lbs
x 10 1&1/2 repsass/ x 10
10lbs/145lbs
x 10 1&1/2 repsass/ x 10
10lbs/ 165lbs
x 10 1&1/2 repsass/ x 10
10lbs/ 185lbs
x 10 1&1/2 repsass/ x 10 + 2 drop sets 145lbs x 10, 95lbs x 15
10lbs x 10 1&1/2 reps + 1 drop 5lbs x 10 + 10 partials*ass

tired from typing that…

bent leg cable glute kick backs SS 5 count paused squats
10lbs/95lbs
x 15ass/ x 6
10lbs/ 115lbs
x 15ass/ x 6
10lbs/ 125lbs
x 15ass/ x 5
10lbs/ 135lbs
x 15ass/ x 5
10lbs/ 135lbs
x 15ass/ x 5
10lbs/ 135lbs
x 15ass/ x 5 + 1 drop set (no pause) 115lbs x 12

lying leg curl (heels touching, toes pointed out)
40lbs x 12 *slow neg
50lbs x 8 *slow neg
70lbs x 8 *normal + 1 drop set 35lbs x 15

leg spreader
70lbs x 20
85lbs x 20
85lbs x 20
1 drop
55lbs x 50 partials plus a few extra long hold reps until glute quiver
wut
WHAT

um
step mill intervals x 20 minutes

BW reverse hypers
x 15
x 15
x 30
x 30

love these a lot actually
Weird though, I could probably do 50 reps without weight but if I added 5lbs I could do like 3, LOl.
W/E workin’ at it

K that’s all that’s it today. Easy peasy, sans drama
.
Slept so good last night, felt like I slept for a thousand years
that was the very first thought I had when I woke up
Oh my…i said to myself, I feel like I just slept for a thousand years
then I thought about paper Mario
the thousand year door
FUcking love paper Mario in all its forms
It’saa mee, paper Mario
I dunno
BYE

[Spock81]

shoulder/chest tri today
2 DAY

bent over cable rear delt fly SS lean away DB lateral raise
5lbs/15lbs
x 12arm/ x 15arm
x 12arm/ x 15arm
x 15*arm/ x 20 + 25 partials *arm

cable cross over
10lbs
low setting x 15
middle x 20
high x 25

landmine press SS DB upright row SS db rear delt fly
bar + 15lbs/ 15lbs/ 15lbs
x 10arm/ x 15/ x 12
x 10arm/ x 20/ x 15
x 10* arm + 1 drop set 5lbs x 15*arm/ x 25/ x 20

uh
lateral raise machine SS reverse pec dec (one arm at a time)
30lbs/40lbs
x 12slow neg/ x 15arm
40lbs/45lbs
x 10slow neg/ x 20arm
50lbs/50lbs
x 10 + 1 drop set 30lbs x 15/ x 20*arm + 1 drop 40lbs x 10(most paused)*arm

incline DB press SS incline bench one arm lateral raise
35lbs/ 5lbs
x 10/ x 20arm
x 10/ x 20arm
x 12/ x 20*arm

Stepmill intervals x 30 minutes

reverse D handle tri. ext SS cable tri ext.
10lbs/5lbs
x 10arm/ x 20 arm
x 10arm/ x 20arm
x 10arm + 1 drop 5lbs x 12 partialsarm/ x 20*arm

Uhh pretty good today I guess. Felt a little depressed with my crooked today
Yes I will mention it almost daily

Some days it’s worse than others or sometimes it just bothers me mentally more. Like which ever side doesn’t seem to be pulling it’s weight as might I try to close my eyes and grip tighter with that side so I don’t get wigged out, and it helps for the most part, but other days if I’m tired or whatever it just get upset…
Just thinking about my anxiety conquering quest for a minute
It’s not about elimination, it’s about containment and control. No, you listen to me, you are stored here until you’re needed. You’re not on death row, you’re in a cell, and I’m the boss!!!
I was freaking out on the stairmaster about my crooked and I just told myself like, you know I wish my calm, rational self could communicate with you better.
Why can’t my anxious self know what my calm self knows?
When you’re calm you can think about the panic attacks in retrospect and rationalize and reason and move forward. But when you’re having a panic attack your calm self is completely non-existent.
You think if calm can remember anxiety, anxiety should be able to remember calm.
I dunno
Chatter
BYE

[Spock81]

Quad/ass day

Close stance quad dominant squats SS DB squats
95lbs/35lbs
x 12/ x 15
115lbs/35lbs
x 12/ x 15
135lbs/ 35lbs
x 12/ x 15
145lbs/ 35lbs
x 12/ x 15
150lbs/ 35lbs
x 12 + 1 drop 125lbs x 15/ x 20

smith machine split squats (close stance)
25lbs per side
x 10leg
30lbs per side
x 10leg
35lbs per side
x 10leg + 1 drop 20lbs per side x 12leg

single leg leg ext.
50lbs
x 8leg
60lbs
x 6leg
65lbs
x 6leg
70lbs
x 5leg ← strong leg coulda done 6, but weak leg was being a bitch …
drop sets
60lbs
x 6leg, 50lbs x 6leg, 40lbs x 6leg, 30lbs x 8leg, 20lbs x 30 partials *leg

single leg leg press machine
70lbs
x 15leg
x 15leg
x 15leg
x 15leg

one leg on bench cable ass kick backs
10lbs
x 20ass
15lbs
x 15ass
20lbs
x 15*ass

stepmill intervals x 20 minutes

stability ball hip thrust
x 50 + 25 partials

k good.

Chalk squat boy was on the platform beside me
I was thinking
Oh fuck
No.

WHICH IS A GOOD THOUGHT
It means I officially actually like him Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeew
This is the first legitimate crush I’ve had on someone since the Marshall storm of '14 tore up my world.
Also, he was wearing a superman shirt
Which means he likes comic apparel
AS DO I
Oh,
The “oh fuck, no” was because he makes me nervous and distracted, that mighta been confusing, Lol…
I also think he dislikes me for no reason, so that’s a second piece of proof that I like him…
Wwwwwwwwwhatever
What else was I thinking about.
OH, I went to the chiro. MY chiro (hero), he said there seems to be some compressed nerve shit happening and that’s contributing to my imbalances.
He believes in me and wants me to compete.
WHEN U GONNA COMPETE JENN. OH I know the problem , you’re a perfectionist !
ILL COMPETE WEHN IM NOT CROOKED ANYMORE, I says.
Ah!
BYE

[Spock81]

k back bi

back!
Bye!
Lol
umm

cable straight pull down to warm up
5lbs
x 30arm
x 30arm

sitting sideways one arm lat pull down thing
25lbs
x 20arm
40lbs
x 12arm
x 12arm
x 12arm
1 drop set
25lbs
x 25 partials *arm

DB row SS seated db rear delt fly
45lbs/ 7.5lbs
x 8arm/ x 20
x 8arm/ x 25
x 8arm/ x 25
x 8arm + 1 drop 30lbs x 15*arm/ x 30

I did something next…
what was it…
kayak rows SS straight arm pulldown
25lbs/30lbs
x 15arm/ x 12
x 15arm/ x 12
x 15*arm/ x 12 + 1 drop 25lbs x 15

seated DB curl SS hammer curl SS standing db rear delt fly
17.5lbs/10lbs/10lbs
x 10arm/ x 20/ x 20
x 10arm/ x 20/ x 20
x 10*arm/ x 20/ x 20

stepmill intervals x 30 minutes

I think that’s all I did, I feel like I forgot something, that seems like nothing…
No, that’s all.
YEH
BYE