I go through phases where violent thoughts float into my head. I’ve never (and wouldn’t) hurt a fly, but I never had thoughts like this pre-TRT, and it’s always a bit troubling.
Wondering if anyone has noticed a correlation. Does this often occur when FT, or perhaps E2, gets too high? I guess it sounds like roid rage, but it’s distinct.
FWIW, my TRT dose at the moment (160) is low relative to what I normally take, but E2 is likely high because I’ve added P5P.
Aside from the intrusive thoughts, I feel very good! Thanks for the input, y’all.
TRT or high testosterone will make an ass**** a bigger ass**** when androgen levels are higher, so the key takeaway here is TRT will amplify your personality.
Very interesting, brother. So my interpretation is yes, taking exogenous T almost definitely increases your risk of mental disorders…though being low on T also increases your risk. It’s all about the goldilocks zone.
What’s strange to me, though, is that I haven’t found a dose-dependent correlation or a single protocol that works best for ‘everything.’ For example, I’m taking 160 mg/week, and I feel great, but sometimes I have violent thoughts. On other protocols (even with much higher doses), I didn’t have any violent thoughts, but I also didn’t feel good (no libido, low motivation, etc.). Maybe I’m expecting too much
Excellent question, I’ve also wondered if stimulants are playing a role. I do drink a lot of coffee, though I’m good about cutting it off early in the day so it doesn’t affect sleep (much). I was considering taking some time off of coffee (perhaps the summer)…I routinely drop caffeine for 2-3 months but haven’t in a while.
That makes sense…I know the PRL-lowering effects of P5P are (supposedly) increasing my dopamine level. I really feel quite good overall, so I’m hesitant to change my protocol. My libido has been on point and it rarely is.
I saw in one post that you’re currently taking nothing. Given all you know about TRT, I find this fascinating; I know your decision must be well-reasoned.
How’d you arrive at that choice? How are you feeling? What differences between TRT and no-TRT have you noticed (aside from saving a bit of money, lol)?
Great points. The more I learn the more I realize I really know nothing. Some folks go through life, no meds, grind it out, day after day, live 90+. Others don’t. I can work with math pretty well, read 1000s of papers and interview with all the gurus. But at the individual level we really don’t know much yet. I’m trying to embrace the less is more philosophy.
Sounds good and sounds kinda sad…hope for the best and don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t work that way? I really have no idea .
I never kept a formal log here but I have shared some stuff here and there. Yep, currently on nothing and about to pull some blood work after 12 weeks off Test and 8 weeks off hCG.
Prior to my AFIB issue a little over 2 years ago I was doing pretty well. I had been on TRT and intermittent TRT+ (w/extra stuff) for multiple years. I started anabolic therapy after trying to fix everything else first (weight, body composition, thyroid, etc). I tried all kinds of thyroid protocols and none of them fixed the symptoms I was having. So it was time to move on to the next tool…testosterone+.
Played around with all kinds of TRT protocols (E7D, E3.5D) and reasonable dosing. The obvious effect was I could hold much more LBM at the same low level of BF. This suited my body dysmorphia quite well. Then it was on to add-ons to test hypothesis that those would help my autoimmune/joint issues. Yeah, they masked the issue really well which allowed me to get bigger, stronger and F my joints up even more. Then COVID hit and I ran into deep water. The problem was I didn’t know what caused what (COVID, TRT, nandrolone use, T3 use, training too hard, all of the above?). QOL suffered and I changed course. Cardiologists recommended going off TRT. I tried it for a month cold turkey just to see what would happen and it sucked pretty bad. Went back on reasonable TRT. Still had issues off and on. Finally got fed up and went to another cardiologist/endo and what you finally realize is we really don’t know much. They both recommended to simplify the protocol as in don’t take it if you don’t really need it.
Hence, given my Echo results of grade 1 diastolic dysfunction last Fall (after having a clean Echo twice in the last few years) I realized I needed to try and deconvolute what was doing what? I went off T in Feb and then 4 weeks later took out the hCG. Considered PCT protocol but just decided to wait it out. I’ll see where I am at blood wise shortly.
Coming off T after being on for a while sucks. You feel castrated, slowly lose all those sweet gainz, libido tanks. But what I realized is my mental acuity and sharpness finally came back. I am back thinking/mental function like I haven’t in a while.
The earliest TT number I have is from late 20s. I was around 400 ng/dl. 10 years later it was about the same. So I think that may be where my setpoint is. TRT was a useful way to test that hypothesis but all these treatments never addressed whatever causing the issues. It’s a mask.
So I sit here and try to be with where I am and just sit with it. Kind of like this book I read:
I think I am on the path to enlightenment but it doesn’t always feel that way.
Thanks for asking. Never a day goes by when I don’t want to go back on TRT+ and get back to ripped, bulging status. But then I ask why?
I can say if you don’t have a functional autonomic system and heart that life can get really complicated really quick. I don’t know what’s going on since COVID came on, but something happened. Then you get into the whole mind body interaction, anxiety, what’s causing what?
So my point to all this is I am doing a reset and making sure I’m not being my own worst enemy. But it’s hard to lay it all down and be honest with yourself.
You pull a decent troll job. Props man. Your post above really encompasses the challenge of these forums. Such a diversity of intention and quality of input. Another reason to lower expectations when trying to contribute something meaningful on this platform.
and that’s why I really appreciate @bkb333, quality.
Only some people are allowed to question and same applies to who is allowed to get questioned. They then have this committee on here who get together and decide these things and then who is a troll or not. The hypocrisy from one thread to another is unreal. They are very heavy on the little heart symbol too, as they all heart each other’s posts and act like it means much or brings some sort of credibility.
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