Different stuff works for different folks. I’ve never let anyone prescribe anything, ever, for my mood or mental state, not even when I was dealing with a family tragedy that hit me hard, hard, hard… Lost 50 lbs. without realizing it hard. Other people whom I very much respect – and who never seemed to me to be acting weird – I later found out were taking prescription meds.
If training helps you now, train. If it doesn’t, then screw it for awhile. Just remember that the training is there for you – it’s something you do for yourself – not one more master for you to serve/berate yourself for disappointing.
On “professional help”: there are, as with anything else, good and bad practitioners. A good one can help you, but you are still ultimately responsible for yourself, what you do, what you don’t do. You decide if this is a person you trust to guide you through something/figure out effective ways of dealing with shit, but you can’t abdicate ownership of yourself/your issues to another human being. You can get help with the heavy lifting if you need it (think of it as mental/spiritual rehab) from pros and/or from family and friends, but it is still your “body”, your load. If you forget that, you’re in trouble.
As to what your friends/the rest of the world thinks, yeah, it’s true that most people are not concerned with your past, however legitimately it may bear on your present difficulties (which they’re also most likely not interested in). If you expect the world to slow down for you/make a special effort to understand you, you will be disappointed. If you approach the world in that way, you will be disappointed and hurt. But there’s a difference between wallowing in your sorrow and not acknowledging to yourself that you’re going through some hurt. Real friends will understand if you legitimately need time for something or need to talk about something – as long as you’re being real and not using your hurt as a ploy for sympathy or an excuse to stay in your comfort zone. Going through shit like that is part of a natural process and a very human thing. Real friends won’t only stick by you when you’re funny and have a fridge full of beer. And just as you shouldn’t expect certain things from the world, it’s okay now and then not to give a fuck what the world thinks of you. You don’t have to be a shiny, happy person all the time. You don’t have to be “on” or pleasant all the time.
Be honest with yourself, realistic in your expectations of others, and try to move continually upward. Get help when you need it, but realize that you’re the captain of your own vessel – you’re the only one guaranteed to go down with that ship (so the operative word is not to let it go down, right!?). Deal with your problems (don’t ignore them) but don’t wallow in them.
To expand upon that last point, I’d say that it’s generally good to spend some time with friends. And it’s definitely good to bring some outside influences/stimuli into your life. If all you think about is your problems, pretty soon they’re all you can see, and life gets limited and depressing very quickly. It’s amazing how much clearer your mind gets sometimes if you just set everything down and step outside for a few minutes.
If lifting can be one such stimulus for you, then lift.
There’s an old Italian saying, “Appetite comes with eating.” I’m not sure exactly why, but I think that might be a good one for you to think on.
Stay strong.
/Ramble
