Tiger Woods, Anti-Marriage Posterboy

Off Topic
161

[quote]rasturai wrote:
Must be some pretty shitty bonds between some people if they would destory you after a divcore. You should have so many life experiences with that person before marriage that bring you together that you wouldn’t do that to the person even if shit went wrong. It’s like your homeboy…you do anything, and die for em…you go through thick and thin…you do that shit with your wife. In the end if things don’t go right, you can talk it out normally instead of having a childish hissy fit of who’s gonna fuck the other one more.
[/quote]

Yeah…more Disney.

Let me ask…does anyone here know of a divorce where both sides said, “gee, that wasn’t that bad at all, have a great life!”? …Because the only ones I keep hearing about are the ones where the guy loses 40lbs, goes gray and becomes an alcoholic during the course of it.

Most relationships today don’t seem to be between “best buds for life who would never screw each other”.

162

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]rasturai wrote:
Must be some pretty shitty bonds between some people if they would destory you after a divcore. You should have so many life experiences with that person before marriage that bring you together that you wouldn’t do that to the person even if shit went wrong. It’s like your homeboy…you do anything, and die for em…you go through thick and thin…you do that shit with your wife. In the end if things don’t go right, you can talk it out normally instead of having a childish hissy fit of who’s gonna fuck the other one more.
[/quote]

Yeah…more Disney.

Let me ask…does anyone here know of a divorce where both sides said, “gee, that wasn’t that bad at all, have a great life!”? …Because the only ones I keep hearing about are the ones where the guy loses 40lbs, goes gray and becomes an alcoholic during the course of it.

Most relationships today don’t seem to be between “best buds for life who would never screw each other”.[/quote]

Yeah, in fact I do. A few of them actually.
My ex was over tonight for dinner. He fixed a kitchen drawer for me while he was here. He has taken care of my dog while I was out of town.
Of course when we split there were hard feelings all around, but it never occurred to either of us to screw the other one over. I consider him one of my best friends, I’ll always be there if he needs help, and have been. Just because we were not good as a married couple, doesn’t mean we have to be spiteful towards one another.
Another example: a friend of mine recently got married at beautiful beach front ceremony in a romantic south seas locations. The photos, which really caught the moment and depth of feeling between the bride and groom, were all taken by his ex-wife. She is not a professional photographer and was not paid for taking the pics, she did because she cares about the man who is her ex-husband, as a person and human being.
No one knows what happens inside a marriage except the 2 people in it, and that includes celebrities and athletes too. It’s easy to judge, I do it too, but in reality there is a lot more than what appears in the media.
Yes, of course there are revengeful men and women out there looking to get even or get “their share”. However, not all marriage and divorces are based on greed or convenience or public image. I know of more divorced couples who get along fine then those who do not. The ones I know of who do not get along don’t have kids and just never speak to one another.
Some people are against marriage and have their reasons to which I say fine. That’s your opinion and experience, but don’t think they are universal.

163

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]rasturai wrote:
Must be some pretty shitty bonds between some people if they would destory you after a divcore. You should have so many life experiences with that person before marriage that bring you together that you wouldn’t do that to the person even if shit went wrong. It’s like your homeboy…you do anything, and die for em…you go through thick and thin…you do that shit with your wife. In the end if things don’t go right, you can talk it out normally instead of having a childish hissy fit of who’s gonna fuck the other one more.
[/quote]

Yeah…more Disney.

Let me ask…does anyone here know of a divorce where both sides said, “gee, that wasn’t that bad at all, have a great life!”? …Because the only ones I keep hearing about are the ones where the guy loses 40lbs, goes gray and becomes an alcoholic during the course of it.

Most relationships today don’t seem to be between “best buds for life who would never screw each other”.[/quote]

I don’t think you should get married if your wife isn’t your best buddy. I think it’s actually very weird if your these relationships today aren’t between “best buds for life who would never screw each other” what’s the point of even GETTING in a relationship then if that’s not what your after?

It seems like a lot of good marriages that I’VE seen (again could be different) from my experience though…many highschool or beginning college sweethearts last. The marriages last, maybe it’s cause they captured their heart so young so there is just a greater bond formed, or going through things together at that age does something. But regardless…the people who put their school and career first (nothing wrong with that) and start to look for a serious relationship at 30, it seems to never workout…I mean if your 18-19…by that time you’ve already known your highschool sweetheart for 10 or more years…if you can get along with someone for that long, you have something special and it’s hard to just screw them over. However, how can you possible build such a strong bond at 30 where you both have money (or only you) and you have a girl maybe looking for money…I dunno the whole thing seems to not last in the later years…and I agree you should most definaetly get a pre-nup. But if I’ve known someone for 10 years…no way I need a pre-nup…I would’ve found out long ago if they weren’t right and would’ve ditched them.

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[quote]dianab wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]rasturai wrote:
Must be some pretty shitty bonds between some people if they would destory you after a divcore. You should have so many life experiences with that person before marriage that bring you together that you wouldn’t do that to the person even if shit went wrong. It’s like your homeboy…you do anything, and die for em…you go through thick and thin…you do that shit with your wife. In the end if things don’t go right, you can talk it out normally instead of having a childish hissy fit of who’s gonna fuck the other one more.
[/quote]

Yeah…more Disney.

Let me ask…does anyone here know of a divorce where both sides said, “gee, that wasn’t that bad at all, have a great life!”? …Because the only ones I keep hearing about are the ones where the guy loses 40lbs, goes gray and becomes an alcoholic during the course of it.

Most relationships today don’t seem to be between “best buds for life who would never screw each other”.[/quote]

Yeah, in fact I do. A few of them actually.
My ex was over tonight for dinner. He fixed a kitchen drawer for me while he was here. He has taken care of my dog while I was out of town.
Of course when we split there were hard feelings all around, but it never occurred to either of us to screw the other one over. I consider him one of my best friends, I’ll always be there if he needs help, and have been. Just because we were not good as a married couple, doesn’t mean we have to be spiteful towards one another.
Another example: a friend of mine recently got married at beautiful beach front ceremony in a romantic south seas locations. The photos, which really caught the moment and depth of feeling between the bride and groom, were all taken by his ex-wife. She is not a professional photographer and was not paid for taking the pics, she did because she cares about the man who is her ex-husband, as a person and human being.
No one knows what happens inside a marriage except the 2 people in it, and that includes celebrities and athletes too. It’s easy to judge, I do it too, but in reality there is a lot more than what appears in the media.
Yes, of course there are revengeful men and women out there looking to get even or get “their share”. However, not all marriage and divorces are based on greed or convenience or public image. I know of more divorced couples who get along fine then those who do not. The ones I know of who do not get along don’t have kids and just never speak to one another.
Some people are against marriage and have their reasons to which I say fine. That’s your opinion and experience, but don’t think they are universal. [/quote]

Excuse me, I didn’t see this post. As well though…I have heard from another they got divorced and yes hard feelings but it was mutual…they both wanted to call it quits and realized they weren’t meant for eachother. That was it. I’m assuming these are the married who got divorced who were fortunate to know a good person in their heart and not to screw them over. I’d assume more of the screwing over in a divorce would call for cheating, abuse, and what not. I haven’t been through a divorce…I can’t speak too much of it, this is just my opinion on it.

165

[quote]rasturai wrote:

I don’t think you should get married if your wife isn’t your best buddy. I think it’s actually very weird if your these relationships today aren’t between “best buds for life who would never screw each other” what’s the point of even GETTING in a relationship then if that’s not what your after?[/quote]

I don’t disagree with you, but I am willing to bet that outside of small towns, most people aren’t waiting even 5 years from the point of meeting before they get married. I don’t have any stats supporting that, just from people I’ve known.

I absolutely don’t see the point unless you know someone well enough to be close family.

166

[quote]dianab wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]rasturai wrote:
Must be some pretty shitty bonds between some people if they would destory you after a divcore. You should have so many life experiences with that person before marriage that bring you together that you wouldn’t do that to the person even if shit went wrong. It’s like your homeboy…you do anything, and die for em…you go through thick and thin…you do that shit with your wife. In the end if things don’t go right, you can talk it out normally instead of having a childish hissy fit of who’s gonna fuck the other one more.
[/quote]

Yeah…more Disney.

Let me ask…does anyone here know of a divorce where both sides said, “gee, that wasn’t that bad at all, have a great life!”? …Because the only ones I keep hearing about are the ones where the guy loses 40lbs, goes gray and becomes an alcoholic during the course of it.

Most relationships today don’t seem to be between “best buds for life who would never screw each other”.[/quote]

Yeah, in fact I do. A few of them actually.
My ex was over tonight for dinner. He fixed a kitchen drawer for me while he was here. He has taken care of my dog while I was out of town.
Of course when we split there were hard feelings all around, but it never occurred to either of us to screw the other one over. I consider him one of my best friends, I’ll always be there if he needs help, and have been. Just because we were not good as a married couple, doesn’t mean we have to be spiteful towards one another.
Another example: a friend of mine recently got married at beautiful beach front ceremony in a romantic south seas locations. The photos, which really caught the moment and depth of feeling between the bride and groom, were all taken by his ex-wife. She is not a professional photographer and was not paid for taking the pics, she did because she cares about the man who is her ex-husband, as a person and human being.
No one knows what happens inside a marriage except the 2 people in it, and that includes celebrities and athletes too. It’s easy to judge, I do it too, but in reality there is a lot more than what appears in the media.
Yes, of course there are revengeful men and women out there looking to get even or get “their share”. However, not all marriage and divorces are based on greed or convenience or public image. I know of more divorced couples who get along fine then those who do not. The ones I know of who do not get along don’t have kids and just never speak to one another.
Some people are against marriage and have their reasons to which I say fine. That’s your opinion and experience, but don’t think they are universal. [/quote]

I wonder if people outside of Canada can say the same.

That isn’t a knock against you but a comment on larger cities and more crowded cultures where seeing more than 1,000 people a day that you don’t know is common.

167

Culture clash, plain and simple. Black people and white people grow up in cultures that are too radically different. Marriage is work and adding in differences like this makes it even harder.

Never researched it but I bet the success rate of inter-racial marriages (and not just black and white, all of them) is lower than when people marry within their own race. And its not race per se but the resulting culture and the differences.

(No racism…just stating facts)

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PX, I live in Montreal, not huge but 3.6 million in the region is not small town Canada either.
I agree that many people marry too quickly and it doesn’t work out.
In the case of celebrity marriage, with media pressure of the ever loving dollar bill thrown in, that can be a recipe for disaster.

169

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]pja wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]pja wrote:
Then she would divorce me and have nothing to do with me ever again. But she wouldn’t try to hurt me just because I hurt her. I know this because I know who she is as a person. You aren’t going to believe this which is fine. If you ever find somebody that you know this well then perhaps you will understand.
[/quote]

Dude, no offense, but I am willing to bet most men think their wife wouldn’t do that on the day they hook up. If they did think that, they probably wouldn’t go through with it. Do you think even most people who get divorced thought they would get divorced on their wedding day or when things were going great in the beginning?[/quote]

The point is most men date a girl for a year maybe a year and a half and then propose. Not enough time in my opinion for life to throw various things at you to see how this women you are with responds…that is my point. What’s the rush?

It would be interesting to see how the rate of divorce correlates with the number of years you dated someone before marrying them.

[/quote]

I don’t disagree with you on that one point, though…so why come in the thread like you need to teach me something?

I hope you never get divorced. From what I hear, it sucks for all parties involved. But no one knows if their marriage may ever go there or not. I also know that making a marriage work is CONSTANT WORK, not something you settle into. That means at any point in the future if one or both parties stop working at it, it will fall apart.

My only question is why, in this day and age, why we still treat marriage like we need to protect the women to this degree as far as divorce…and why it is still seen as socially awkward to discuss being prepared in case of marriage failure?

Some of you came in this thread like I had assaulted your entire belief structure with that initial post.

Why is that? Why do you get attacked if you so much as imply that marriage isn’t magic?[/quote]

Ok, so essentially this is a bitch about government then. I mean everyone knows that it takes the government 100X as long to adjust to something than an private entity would, and an entity like a company takes 100x as long to react and adjust to something as an individual would. I don’t see why you are so flabbergasted over this. Like you just woke up and dudes started getting fucked over in marriage. It has been a slow gradual climb to this point, and when “we” get around to it, and it’s a big enough problem, like bigger than terrorism, forcing health care on everyone, or steroids in baseball, then “we” will take 10 years to fix it.

I also agree that the longer you are together prior to marriage, the better the chances you will stay married. My cousin just married a girl who he has known for a couple months. Not gonna lie, probably not gonna end well.

V

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Wow, where to start? First of all, the 50% figure is outdated, particularly depending on demographic. I think the divorce rate is 41% now, so 59% of marriages last. When you take out the multiples it reduces even further. Marriages undertaken by college grads after age 26 are more likely to last, and are in fact currently lasting quite well. According to Time, “a full 81% of college graduates who got hitched in [the 80s] at age 26 or older were still married 20 years later. … But just 49% of those who married young and did so without a degree lasted 20 years.” (http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1989124,00.html#ixzz0y5IGXfTH)

Prof X, you ask why people act attacked. I’m not sure they do, I think they’re just stating their side. When you present things in such a black and white manner, what other response is possible? When you announce that people are fools for marrying, you surely understand that people fitting your demographic (men, married) who do not agree with your thesis will be vehement in return.

How you tell if someone is going to try to destroy you after a divorce is by considering their character and personality traits. If ever my husband and I divorce I expect it to be initially very difficult (the split itself) because we’re both hot tempered and our connection has been strong. But after the initial wrenching it would probably be pretty civilized because of the qualities we each bring to the table. He’s very generous and protective, which qualities drew me in the first place, and I have a short attention span for anger and tend to be sympathetic. We’ve seen these qualities at work in one another countless times. He’s not stingy and I’m not vicious or punitive.

I wonder what qualities you’ll look for in a woman and what she’ll be seeking in you, and what those qualities might harbinger if ever there is discord? Maybe instead of legal protection you should invest your energy in selecting for someone who wouldn’t fuck anyone over and in making sure your character is such that you’ll be able to attract that kind of person.

Yeah, I know of a bunch, at all socioeconomic levels except the very top (I don’t have a lot of access to the Tiger Woods of the world). You hear about the bad ones because those are the ones who have a story to tell. Possibly this bitterness is a quality that impacted upon the union, who knows. I see it as a chicken/egg thing. If they’ll generalize one experience to all women post-divorce, wouldn’t they be pretty likely to make and share negative generalizations and assumptions while still together? That would eat away at me, I’ll tell you what. There are only so many Nuggets of Truth about womankind I’m going to tolerate before I’m at his neck with a knife.

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God you guys haven’t even mentioned the fact that he’s black and she is white. She’s racist, it’s obvious to me.

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[quote]angry chicken wrote:
You guys really underestimate the power of kids to get over shit. Scarred for life? Please…

There are MILLIONS of kids (myself included) who have survived physical, emotional, or sexual abuse that is FAR worse than than watching your parents get divorced - even if it is high profile.

Shit, I watch my mom go through FOUR husbands, each of whom used to beat the living shit out of me and one of them locked me in my room for days at a time…

Her second husband kicked my down the stairs and broke my ribs when I was seven… My mom finally divorced him when he cheated on her with his secretary.

Those kids have it EASY compared to some people who have survived their childhoods and grown up to be normal people. Kids are a lot tougher than you think. Until THIS generation where we think we are doing them a favor by pussifying them…[/quote]

This says more about the quality of your character specifically than about all children, though.

Resiliency is a funny thing. I think there has to be some stress for kids to fully develop, but of course everyone has a breaking point. I work with kids like you, who are going to come through hell relatively intact, but I also see kids who seem not to have the capacity to develop insight or coping skills and so are flattened by relatively mild challenges.

I’m not sure great wealth is conducive to the development of internal fortitude in children, so in some ways the Woods kids are probably to be pitied.

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[quote]TheBigV wrote:
God you guys haven’t even mentioned the fact that he’s black and she is white. She’s racist, it’s obvious to me.[/quote]

[quote]Headhunter wrote:
Culture clash, plain and simple. Black people and white people grow up in cultures that are too radically different. Marriage is work and adding in differences like this makes it even harder.

Never researched it but I bet the success rate of inter-racial marriages (and not just black and white, all of them) is lower than when people marry within their own race. And its not race per se but the resulting culture and the differences.

(No racism…just stating facts)[/quote]

Here ya go.

Well outside of the fact there was no FACTS stated just your point of view. I truly think YOU BELIEVE everything you say. Some just like to drop bombs like this to make people argue. But I think you really believe these things you keep saying.
I have no real issue with racist that know what they are. Its how you view the world and I hope you are as open in the real world as you are on line.

174

[quote]Headhunter wrote:
Culture clash, plain and simple. Black people and white people grow up in cultures that are too radically different. Marriage is work and adding in differences like this makes it even harder.

Never researched it but I bet the success rate of inter-racial marriages (and not just black and white, all of them) is lower than when people marry within their own race. And its not race per se but the resulting culture and the differences.

(No racism…just stating facts)[/quote]

Ridiculous. If you’d have researched it then you’d know that Tiger’s mother is Asian (who, by the way, never divorced his father). So, if “cultural differences” are such a huge cause of marital breakdowns, I guess Tiger Woods’ upper body is about to divorce his legs right about…now.

175

[quote]roybot wrote:

[quote]Headhunter wrote:
Culture clash, plain and simple. Black people and white people grow up in cultures that are too radically different. Marriage is work and adding in differences like this makes it even harder.

Never researched it but I bet the success rate of inter-racial marriages (and not just black and white, all of them) is lower than when people marry within their own race. And its not race per se but the resulting culture and the differences.

(No racism…just stating facts)[/quote]

Ridiculous. If you’d have researched it then you’d know that Tiger’s mother is Asian (who, by the way, never divorced his father). So, if “cultural differences” are such a huge cause of marital breakdowns, I guess Tiger Woods’ upper body is about to divorce his legs right about…now.[/quote]

LOL!

Don’t blame HH for his quote. It’s his inner Clip11 coming out.

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Rich Black man wronging Poor white woman = media blow up

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[quote]therajraj wrote:
Rich Black man wronging Poor white woman = media blow up[/quote]

Hahahahahaha Tiger, Black. Haha you kid around too much sometimes. Tiger is whiter than half the people in Russia.

V

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[quote]Vegita wrote:

[quote]therajraj wrote:
Rich Black man wronging Poor white woman = media blow up[/quote]

Hahahahahaha Tiger, Black. Haha you kid around too much sometimes. Tiger is whiter than half the people in Russia.

V[/quote]

For cerealz.

Besides, Tiger Woods makes Wayne Brady look like Malcolm X.

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[quote]Vegita wrote:

[quote]Iron Dwarf wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:


Elin Nordegren on Tiger Woods: ‘I’ve been through hell’

[quote]The three key takeaways from Nordegren’s story are:

Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢?Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢ She says she is in no way a violent person, calling any speculation that she swung a golf club at Woods on Thanksgiving night “ridiculous.”

Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢?Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢ She was completely broadsided by the news of Woods’ extramarital affairs, believing that she was the only woman in his life. In short, she was as surprised as most of the rest of the world that the persona Woods put forth Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢?? dedicated competitor, family man Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢?? was a carefully constructed sham. “I’m so embarassed that I never suspected [his affairs] Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢?? not a one,” she said.

Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢?Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢ In line with that, she said she believed fully that her relationship with Woods was a real marriage, not an act orchestrated for cameras and sponsors. “The word betrayal is just not strong enough,” she told People. “I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children.” [/quote]

Has she really been through hell? This woman is now carrying more cash in her wallet than most states in this country yet she’s been through hell?

Are you fucking kidding me?

This right here is why marriage is not worth the effort if you happen to be a celebrity…or hell, even just someone who has something to lose in a divorce. It isn’t that she just speaks out about an affair, but more that she spends so much time dragging Tiger’s name further through the mud (if that’s possible) by acting like his life is all a sham.

Just a question to you guys who got married…if it ever went south, would your girl be out to destroy you?

If so, it it worth it?[/quote]

It comes off that the case you’re making here is that big bucks can resolve emotional issues.

When integrity and trust are destroyed and the person you married and love ends up being someone else, it’s emotionally devestaing and not easy to buy away or brush off.

Tiger violated the rules of marriage, now he suffers the consequences. Nothing surprising here, but somehow you find the villian in all of this to be his ex wife.

If you live your entire life in the pursuit of protecting your possessions, don’t be surprised if those possessions are all you end up with. Sounds like a huge price to pay just to avoid the many benefits of marriage.

[/quote]

Well said my short friend. Well Said.

V[/quote]

x2

Several million dollars would soften the sting of any emotional upset, for sure, but a betrayal is still a betrayal.

I went through a pretty bad divorce myself, but it didn’t make me cynical. I viewed it as an important lesson - that you have to be really careful who you commit to and that maintaining relationships takes work, including the work of establishing boundaries about what’s acceptable and what isn’t. My own bad experience didn’t scare me off of commitment. But then I’m not one to generalize about whole categories of people. I don’t think all women are the same, nor all men, and that probably includes even sports stars and celebrities.

180

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]rasturai wrote:

I don’t think you should get married if your wife isn’t your best buddy. I think it’s actually very weird if your these relationships today aren’t between “best buds for life who would never screw each other” what’s the point of even GETTING in a relationship then if that’s not what your after?[/quote]

I don’t disagree with you, but I am willing to bet that outside of small towns, most people aren’t waiting even 5 years from the point of meeting before they get married. I don’t have any stats supporting that, just from people I’ve known.

I absolutely don’t see the point unless you know someone well enough to be close family.[/quote]

Yeah I agree with that…to me it seems like the ones who pursued their school and career first (late 20’s) they meet, know someone for a few years and tie the knot. I guess from several posts ago, statistics show that those marriages last…who knows. I wouldn’t see a problem with a pre-nup in this situation though at all. But if you know someone well enough to be close family, and you’ve dated/known this person for more than 7 years let’s say…(a young marriage), you would know this person, what they went through in their teens, highschool everything. I’d say a marriage without a pre-nup wouldn’t be a problem at all. And I agree I don’t see the point unless you know someone well enough to be close family.

Then again…I just watched the lottery changed my life…this family was all tight and loving, until one son who 62 or 68 million…the whole family (brother, sister, MOTHER) turned on him because they constantly wanted more and more. He helped them a huge amount and it wasn’t enough. That’s his own mother turning on him cause of the lottery. Crazy.