This popped up in my YT feed after I watched the “Sexomnia” bit from House; I didn’t just chuckle, I laughed hard:
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I might watch that show now!
I recall when Larry David was on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee, and apparently he has a reputation for eating healthy. If I’m not making up memories here, I’m pretty sure that he, and Jerry Seinfeld, are sitting in a café and Larry is “forced” to taste (I think) a pancake (added cream, sugar,…) and he expresses that he cannot believe that it’s something people eat on the regular to wit Jerry asks what does Larry do when he just “goes crazy” dietarily.
“Half a bag of cashews”
Jerry, in that moment, epitomises what I think of whenever I read “smh” nowadays. And there’s so much disappointment in his reaction. The disappointment is interesting because there’s so many conversations he’s had on that show with his “friends” when they talk about their dark times and he doesn’t display nearly as much of an emotional response (I’d argue he usually is clams up during these exchanges).
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Laughed myself into a mild asthma attack.
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There is no telling how big that bag is. Could be an 8 Oz. bag, could be like a commercial sack.
I go through about 30 Oz. per week, but I’ve gone on cashew benders that would make a hooker blush.
Granted, this is true. And yes, some of people’s interpretation of a bag of cashews might certainly be more akin to a commercial sack. I think it’s okay to play the odds here and expect that a skinny person like Larry is more likely to mean the former but if it were a grocer or a SHW bag might mean the latter.
Case-in-point: there’s a delicacy store in town where you can get some super-sized bags of roasted macadamia nuts (they tailor mostly to restaurants) and I happen to have a casual bantering relationship with the store owner and he confessed to me that he once tried keeping one in the house but that he doesn’t have the mental fortitude to portion it out.
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Yeah. I wouldn’t either. I’m actually having a hard time limiting myself with the cashews. With a big commercial sized bag of macadamia I could just hang up any ideas of a t-ransformation and resign myself to blubber slug.
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@dt79 Holy Shit, the last guy got a guffaw out of me hahah.
Random factoid: Blake Snell is an awesome pitcher for Tampa Bay, and I could never figure out why this fantasy analyst dude I listen to was always calling him Ba-lak-ke LOLOL; thanks man!
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Joke my friend told me:
Guy goes hunting bears in the forest. He walks for a while then he spots a bear,
takes the gun, shoots the bear, the bear goes down. Guy goes running over hill,
looking for the bear, he’s looking around, there’s no bear. Suddenly the guy feels
bear’s paws on his shoulders and hears:
-What the fuck you think you doing coming here, shooting at me?? I’m a teach you a lesson!
Then the bear drops hunter’s trousers and rogers him rightly!
So the hunter is quite embarrassed, next day gets a bigger gun. Goes to the same area,
sees the bear again. Shoots him again, same story, can’t find the bear.
Feels the paws on his shoulders again. The bear says:
-UN-FUCKING-BELIEVEABLE! You come to my forest, shoot at me AGAIN?!! I will teach you another lesson.
Drops hunter’s pants and rogers him rightly once again.
Next week hunter comes back with an elephant gun. Thinks: “I’ve got to finish this bear once and for all”. Sees the bear, shoots him. Thinks: “I got him this time”.
Goes looking for him, no bear around… Feels bear’s paws on his shoulders. Bear goes:
-You don’t come here for the hunting, do you?
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Dude key and Peele were legit … loved that show.
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An oxymoron walked into a bar.
The silence was deafening.
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Me to two co-workers: Just check amazon for pricing… you guys do have amazon right?
Old as shit Coworker: Ya, I think my wife has that installed on our home computer
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“Like, OMG, I was on insta this morning and like every post was about Kobe Bryant. I am so upset about this! Like, I can’t even look at insta right now it’s so sad.”
A real quote I overhead at lunch today.
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It’s always really sad to hear about rich people dying in helicopter/private plane crashes.
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Don’t cut yourself on that edge man.
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147kg/325lbs Circus Dumbbell for the Arnolds Strongman in Columbus.
Mateusz and maybe Thor will be the only competitors to lift this. Question is who else will try?
I assume that like the log, they will have a feather weight dumbbell.
“half the team is back here riding on mops, we got two lil’ n*gga’s ridin on swiffers!”
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