Got an email from People’s United Advisors entitled “PUA Perspectives: Investment Outlook and Experts in the News”
And it took me a moment to realize where it was coming from and stop reading it as “pickup artist perspectives.”
You meathead goons have destroyed my mind.
So… I live in a small rural township. On voting day I noticed that nobody was even on the ballot for the position of auditor. So I wrote my name in for laughs. I’ve been through more corporate audits than I care to remember. Might be nice to be on the critical side for once.
I just got a letter that I tied with someone else and they’re “casting lots” on the 25th to decide who wins the election. I can show up if I want to cast my own lot… says the letter. Not rolling dice, not flipping coins, not drawing straws… casting lots.
I wonder how long ago that ordinance was written. 3000 BC?
That means that in a township with thousands of people only two people wrote in names. This is going to be fun. If I win the lots is this how my reign of terror begins?
That is hilarious yet unsurprising.
Let me know how that goes. If necessary I’ll vouch for your ability to keep chickens.
Yikes, good thing your wife or parent or whoever didnt vote for you
Audit one: There’s this bag of silver pieces …
Don’t forget Broccoli. It has as much protein per calorie as most meats.
@SkyzykS ! I told you not to use that crew! Our boss @ActivitiesGuy is gonna take those 14 kees out of our hide!
State police arrest 5, find 14 kilos of cocaine in Pittsburgh-area bust
Seriously though. Storage units and parking garages? Could they have gone past any more cameras?
Damn. There goes all the fun this weekend!
I’m so sick of people thinking they can just waltz into my house when I’m clearly listening to music in 4/4
I had to Google to understand that one. Very clever 
Every day is a school day! 
Two years ago I wouldn’t have understood it
Herpes call-outs on social media make me chuckle.
/popcorn
The T pose to assert dominance.
LOL, No joke this is better than Terminator: Dark Fate.
That last scene… Lol
My wife was like “why are they picking on the robot?”
