Things That Make You Chuckle

Off Topic
5874

Bill Burr is hilarious. Here are his funniest bits.

5875

Heā€™s a self-loathing cunt now

1 Like
5876

Well, he was always that.

5877

Please. Once the women see a man with a full set of teeth for the first time, Iā€™ll change the genetic history of that region.

5878

Long Dong Zecarlo

5879

Doing my daily Bible reading and came across this. Egg whites suck.

Job 6:6 NLT
[6] Donā€™t people complain about unsalted food? Does anyone want the tasteless white of an egg?
Job 6:7
[7] My appetite disappears when I look at it; I gag at the thought of eating it!

3 Likes
5880

@Brant_Drake Iā€™m not even a chef but this is too relatable

3 Likes
5881
5882

Ugg. Iā€™m actually looking at some corporate chef positions due to shifts in my wifeā€™s career, and all the kitchen rage has been flowing back.

1 Like
5883

:rofl:

I thought it would be the metal creaking. Wasnā€™t expecting that!

1 Like
5884

Me neither, but very relatable.

Nothing worse than welding something incorrectly and having to do the shameful grind/torch off and re-do.

1 Like
5885

Thatā€™s why god invented the scarfing tip!

1 Like
5886

Those are kinda fun. As is arc gouging. Why one may do those things is not fun, but those are. :+1:

5887

With age comes indignity. A year or two back I was in with my doc and he says, ā€œYou have not had a digital rectal exam in sometime.ā€

I responded, ā€œI do not want one.ā€

He stated, ā€œIt is important at your age. We need to make sure your prostateā€¦ yada, yada, yada.ā€

So I relent. He puts on the blue gloves. I drop my drawers and assume the position. He lubes up. I am ready. And the exam begins.

The doc does his thing and finishes the exam.

I ask, ā€œDo I get a Camel with that?ā€

Without missing a beat, he answers, ā€œMy fingers arenā€™t that bigā€¦ā€

8 Likes
5888

Irony

1 Like
5889

These somewhat inappropriate design fails made me chuckle. If T-Nation needs a new logo this ainā€™t the place to look.

5890

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I guess the dairy people won that lawsuit.

5891

https://ifunny.co/video/cQCePtDeC

5892
5893

I asked chatgpt to make me a comprehensive workout and diet plan based on what it knows about me. I think this is hilarious.

Here is a program for you based on your previous queries.
Workout A (Monday/Wednesday/Friday):

  • Warm-up:
    • Dynamic stretching
    • 5 minutes on a Concept2 Rower
  • Main Lifts:
    • Deadlifts: 5 sets of 3 reps (use a specialty bar like a Kabuki Strength Trap Bar)
    • Bench Press: 5 sets of 5 reps (use a Texas Power Bar)
    • Squats: 5 sets of 3 reps (use an Eleiko Powerlifting Bar)
  • Accessory Lifts:
    • Weighted Pull-ups: 4 sets of 6 reps
    • Dumbbell Rows: 4 sets of 8 reps per arm
    • Overhead Press: 4 sets of 6 reps
  • Cool-down:
    • Foam rolling
    • Static stretching
      Workout B (Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday):
  • Active Recovery:
    • 30-minute swim in a private, heated pool
    • 1-hour session with a personal physical therapist and masseuse
    • Yoga or Pilates session at a high-end studio
      Nutrition Plan:
  • Pre-Workout (before 5 AM):
    • Meal: Scrambled eggs from heritage breed chickens, topped with fresh-shaved black truffles and served with a side of pan-seared foie gras.
    • Supplements: Pre-workout drink made with rare, high-altitude coffee beans and custom-blended amino acids.
  • Breakfast (7 AM):
    • Meal: AƧaĆ­ bowl with imported Brazilian aƧaĆ­ berries, sprinkled with edible gold flakes, topped with goji berries and fresh, organic bee pollen.
    • Protein: A scoop of hydrolyzed whey protein from grass-fed, Wagyu cattle.
  • Post-Workout Meal (10 AM):
    • Meal: Chilean sea bass flown in daily, seared with saffron butter and a side of risotto made with Alba white truffles.
    • Drink: Freshly pressed juice from exotic fruits like mangosteen and durian.
  • Lunch (2 PM):
    • Meal: Japanese A5 Wagyu steak, cooked sous-vide and then seared to perfection, served with a side of heirloom vegetables drizzled with 100-year-old balsamic vinegar.
    • Drink: A glass of purified glacier water.
  • Dinner (9 PM - after service):
    • Meal: Whole, roasted Pekin duck from a specific, small farm, with a side of blinis topped with Osetra caviar.
    • Dessert: A small portion of raw milk cheese from a private Swiss herd.
  • Supplements (Throughout the day):
    • A bespoke vitamin and mineral stack, custom-formulated by a private nutritionist.
    • Daily injections of B12 and other performance-enhancing vitamins.
      Logistics:
  • Workouts are performed at a private, members-only gym with specialized equipment.
  • A private chef is on staff to prepare all meals to specific macros and timing.
  • A personal assistant manages all scheduling, sourcing of ingredients, and travel.
  • The entire program is monitored by a team of sports scientists and nutritionists.

Apparently it thinks Iā€™m a rich, entitled, lazy bitch.

6 Likes