He definitely should have gotten a Darwin Award.
Itās a few years old, and I think he was in the Darwin award discussion.
Yes and this guy was the first firework fatality since we legalized all of the good stuff in 2012. It was bound to happen at some point.
Alcohol was involved.
Thatās about the only reason why I never did this.
Me and my one buddy used to play chicken with M-80ās when drinking.
I won! 
I actually ended up with one of those wax end caps embedded in my pinky finger.
Well, perhaps the fallen statue should be replaced with a statue of Charles Darwin.
Of course, Charles Darwin was a white male so he really shouldnāt be acknowledged to have existed. Perhaps if we pretend he was homosexual it will be appropriate. He did like to take long sea voyages, after all.
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When I was a kid (pre Intifada) my friends and I (a mixed group of Jewish hoodlums and Arab hoodlums) like to screw with the Egyptian security forces with Lady Fingers (little tiny firecrackers used by Bedouins for celebrations. Came in blocks of 2000).
In hindsight, Iām kind of amazed we didnāt get killed.
Someone just go ahead and move this to PWI, please.
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This is why I almost became a Russian Studies major 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_li7qyePPU
The shooting starts at 0:52
the maneuver at 2:45 takes real balls 
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Backhanded ācomplimentā of NFL Commish Roger Goodell (punchline at around 1:21):
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Portnoy won some auction and gets to have lunch with Goodell. It should be amazing.
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Portnoy - the bro of all bros, is on video losing in embarrassing fashion to my GFs younger brother in a beer shotgun. Itās so suitable for him.
Little Johnnyās class was studying US presidents. Specifically, famous quotes by US Presidents.
The teacher announced a game. She would say a quote and the first student to get the answer would get to go to recess early. She started up with "Four score and seven years ago. . . "
Johnny raised his hand, but Abigail was faster. Abigail exclaimed āAbraham Lincoln!ā So Abigail got to go to recess first.
Next was āAsk not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.ā
Johnny raised his hand, but Bridget was faster: āJohn F. Kennedy.ā And off she was to recess.
āMan, I wish these bitches would just shut the fuck up,ā grumbled Little Johnny.
The teacher, shocked, exclaimed āWho said that!?ā
Little Johnny, excited, raised his hand and yelled āBill Clinton!ā
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https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv68Se-ABzm/?igshid=kqgtdfovaosi
Not a single thing was trained that day
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Iāll need to read the news now. I love a good hate crime hoax.
Thereās nothing funny about racial supremacists, but there is something awfully funny about the demand for white supremacy exceeding the supply.
Summary: Bubba Wallace is a 0/186 record in NASCAR. Acted a fool recently. Sponsors leaving.
Miraculously, he found a ānooseā in his garage. His wife cries on TV. He is afraid!
Parade given on race track. More crying.
15 FBI agents investigate.
Turns out, the ānooseā is a bow-line knot tied on the end of the garage door pull. Said knot is on all the other garage pulls in the facility. Knots have been photographed for years, including in a video tour of facility.
FBI and NASCAR declare no hate crime.
Bubba declares the bow knot is still a noose and any sponsors that leave him are racists because any looped rope is racist.
Letās hope he doesnāt go sailing any time soon.
The most interesting thing (and saddest) to me is you know every other driver and mechanic knew this to be complete B.S., but did not stand up for fear of the Internet mob and being declared racist by the media. Imagine being the guy who says āUm, I think there was a mistake. All the garages have this pull on it. Been there for years.ā That guy would be immediately fired, called a racist, and his house burned.
This is what Iām generally troubled by about all of the things going on right now. Standing up to speak any kind of sense that might contradict even the most outlandish claims of racism is such a risky move for anyone right now.
Especially if youāre a straight white male. We need someone who sits higher on the progressive victim ladder to say something. Hey, isnāt that you? Your time has arrived.
Start a twitter account, join the battlefield. Iāll start one too so I can follow and like your tweets.
I really prefer calling liberals out on their racism-of-lesser-expectations in person.
I flat-out called an HR advisor for Schlumberger a bigot the other day, to her face for basically demanding we have lower standards for non-whites. And she was.
She teared up. Total mental melt down. It was wonderful and, I think, may have planted a seed.
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