The Return of Even More Movies You've Watched This Week III

Off Topic Art, Music, Entertainment
2738

Operation Red Sea (China 2018)

The wife wanted me to watch another nationalistic China movie on TV together. I didn’t want to. Then I saw the words in Chinese: “Directed by Lin Chao Xian… who is… wait that’s Dante Lam!”. So I sat down and watched it. My wife decided to skip the 2nd half of the movie. Bwhahaha.

Dante Lam is a director from Hongkong. He makes really dark, hyperviolent dramas full of black humor questioning the duality of human nature and shit, one of my favorites being Beast Cops(1999) starring Anthony Wong. He’s also a very capable action director.

This is what happens when you give someone like him a crazy large budget and unlimited assistance of the Chinese Navy to showoff their shit:

Lot of shit blows up. Then the gore starts piling up. People lose limbs, half of their faces, all in full view of the camera. No cut aways. Every gory detail is shown. The censors didn’t care because this is PATRIOTISM!

Then more shit blows up. Then there’s a fucking tank fight from out of Fury which turns into a TANK CHASE from out of Fury Road across the Morrocan desert right into a sandstorm from out of nowhere which has to be seen to be believed and then more shit gets blown up.

Then a chick has an mma fight scene because “women hold up half the sky”, and more shit blows up.

Then everyone involved in the shit that just went down raises the flag for fallen comrades, mourns and celebrates and then…

For no fucking reason, there’s a scene of Chinese naval ships telling US naval ships to get the fuck out of Chinese waters. With completely no relevance to the fucking movie. It’s like something from a Zucker Brothers comedy but played seriously.

Then the movie ends.

Fuck, this is a Hongkong movie through and through. The tagged on nationalistic shit couldn’t detract from the crazy energy and abrupt but somehow seamless shifts in tone for character moments during the chaos The only other movie I’ve watched from China that was at this level was Wolf Warrior 2, and that was from Wu Jing, whose career was in HK movies, gaining mass recognition in Donnie Yen’s SPL from which his knife fight scene was a heavy influence for, get this, The Winter Soldier. 8/10

2739

Screenshot_20191016-042634~3
Screenshot_20191016-042634~31080×1136 258 KB

Oh no, now I have to watch this just to see if it’s another “so bad it’s good” show. Fuck you, internet.

1 Like
2740

Did anyone ever mention “Predators”. The one with Adrian Brody and Alice Braga from queen of the south. This movie was pretty dope and really captured the spirit of the original. You know, the one with Ahnold. Jungle, suspense, tension… what’s not to love? Anyway I’m watching it now just thought I’d remind folks!!

1 Like
2741

Don’t forget Eric from That 70s Show! I enjoy the Predator movies. They’re all under my “I love them, 4/10” movies.

1 Like
2742

I put the terminator movies in this category as well.
Love em all and want more!!

2743

Well I hear Hollywood plans on remaking the Princess Bride. Three words come to mind… Go fuck yourself!

3 Likes
2744

Money’s on they’re looking to tap Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson to play Fezik … they can go fuck themselves.

1 Like
2745

The only acceptable way to remake the princess bride is in a muppets version. Otherwise, leave it alone

2 Likes
2746

It will be a abomination!

2747

You know if they remake it they will put a modern slant on it. Help us all!

1 Like
2748

I heard rumors that were floating around about a remake of “Big Trouble In Little China” … uh no. Gofuckyoruselfhollywood

1 Like
2749

El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

Basically just puts a bow on Jesse’s story. Fans of the show will like it. Obviously you won’t have any idea WTF is going on if you haven’t watched Breaking Bad in it’s entirety.

There were some continuity issues that were really glaring, mainly because the guy that plays Todd got fat as fuck. They also somehow messed up Jesse’s hair and beard at the beginning, which made zero sense.

Either way, it was cool and I liked it. 7.5/10

1 Like
2750

Why can’t they have balls and remake shit movies and improve those ?Outside of the obvious reason of easy money and lack of imagination that is.

2751

I’d say my favorite scene was when Jesse went to buy a vacuum…that whole interaction was pretty entertaining.

TBH I never felt any suspense or tension in any of the other scenes … you kind of knew how it would all pan out for Jesse in the end … if you’re a fan of the show, it’s a cool movie and will keep you entertained for sure … the same sentiment is there, but again I never felt that uncertainty of Jesse’s fate…

2752

Batwoman is so bad it’s actually almost good. I may watch the entire season if all the later episodes are like the first one.

Just to add some context:

Show starts with Batwoman underwater in a lake covered with ICE. She has handcuffs on. There’s a hole above her.

Someone covers it.

She swims to the ice and starts pounding on it. Then she starts passing out, presumably due to a lack of oxygen. And then she has a flashback of Batman leaving her and her sister to die in a car.

She STOPS PASSING OUT from a LACK OF OXYGEN. Underwater. By sheer POWER OF WILL. Then she breaks free from her handcuffs and uses the cuffs to pound on the ice.

And SHATTERS THE GLASS, no I mean, ICE CEILING!

giphy

Then an old Alaskan dude tells her, “You were too slow.”

She says… “You covered the hole.”

Hahahahaha

1 Like
2753

I don’t know if you ever read the Eragon books, but they were awesome when I was younger. The movie? Atrocious. Would love to see it given some justice, Peter Jackson could make it amazing.

2754

I like JOKER. I dig the ambiguity.

2755

Domino

This is not that other Domino with Keira Knightley and Mickey Rourke. This one stars Jamie Lannister and Melisandre from GoT. It’s on Netflix, and is directed by Brian DePalma, who possesses arguably the most uneven filmography of any director.

Anyways, this movie is so fucking terrible that it was actually kinda fun to watch.

2/10 for how good the movie was; 7/10 for how fun it was to watch and make fun of

2756

Never got around to reading that series. But from I understand the movie wasn’t anywhere close as a adaptation.

2757

What. The. Fuck. Not only can they go fuck themselves, they can go fuck their mothers.

edit: referring to the remakes of The Princess Bride and Big Trouble in Little China.