There’s only one way anyone in their right mind can react to something like this:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA…
HAHAAHHAHAHAHHA…
AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
Why didn’t you just remake Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers?
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The original cartoon was worse.
“But as so often in Hollywood films, the explicit Nazi iconography serves primarily to distract us from the heroes’ own fascism. Simba’s final ascent to the throne, his masculine roar returning Scar’s dystopia to its Edenic natural state, represents nothing less than the Führer Principleat work: the idea that those we entrust with positions of leadership are blessed with a natural, even divine superiority.”
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Lol, wow.
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Heil Simba!
AHAHAHAHAH
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wasn’t this debunked by John Locke??
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Marvel’s phase 4 should be interesting.
They all got it wrong. Lions prides are individual family units. All cats are anarchists. Dogs are fascists.
I watched seasons 1-3 of My Hero Academia over the last two weeks. It’s pretty good. Not amazing, but an enjoyable anime if you’re into that sort of thing.
Westside Vs. the World: Watched this last night. It was interesting, but kinda boring, imo. Worth the $0.99 rental fee, but not much more.
Saving Private Perez (on Amazon Prime).
It’s a low budget movie from Mexico, CC in English. It’s the Mexican equivalent of a blaxplotation movie.
It tells the tells tale of Private Perez (a sometimes US Army and sometimes Marine) soldier who is the “good” little brother of a spoof of El Chapo that is captured by terrorists in Iraq.
El Chapo/Don Julio (a name of a fine tequila) organizes a rescue using a band of cholos/Mexican gangsters in the manner of the Dirty Dozen with the plot of Saving Private Ryan.
Absolutely hilarious spoof, if you know the Mexican border culture.
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From what I hear that’s not the whole list.rumour is that the full list will be next month at Disney’s yearly event.
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It did seem kinda short.
Yeah considering several listed tv shows for the Disney plus service. In guessing they will mention a ff4 movie for phase 4.
Swordsman 2: Dongfang Bubai (HK 1993)
This is a period movie in the wuxia genre. In the wuxia genre, as opposed to the kungfu movie genre, characters can do fantastical things because of some complex shit that has to do with opening up their chakras and meridians and some other woo woo shit, enabling them to use their qi to cause explosions and lift entire naval ships with the wave of a palm(which is what happened in Swordsman 3 and I nearly died laughing).
Dongfang Bubai is the name of the main character. While the English subtitles state his name as “Asia the Invincible”, it actually means “Undefeatable In The East”, which is a really dumb name in English. So I will simply refer to him as Dong.
Dong is a gender non-binary warlord intending to overthrow the Ming government (because he’s a farcking Mongowian) with his own cult of an army and a group of Japanese Ronin. His weapons of choice are EMBROIDERY THREADS AND NEEDLES, which he can use to hit one of your acupoints, making your blood flow backwards resulting in all your veins exploding like that dude in Event Horizon.
The reason why he is the most powerful fucker of all is because he got hold of a secret martial arts manual. To master this secret martial art within the manual, one is required to cut his Dong off. Which is what he did before the start of the movie. Which is also why he looks like Brigitte Lin:
Jet Li plays a very skilled kungfu dude who has had enough of all the warring clans and stuff within the “martial arts world”, a.k.a jianghu. He’s travelling to some place with his buddies to retire when they run into a group of old friends, the Highlanders, who have a score to settle with Dong since the latter has captured their leader. Then he runs into Dong bathing in a river and thinks he’s cute because Dong doesn’t open his mouth and he looks like Brigitte Lin. Meeting him again when he sneaks into Dong’s base guarded by burrowing ninjas, he comes to the conclusion that the hot chick is one of the real Dong’s concubines. Dong almost pulls a Crying Game on him later in a scene that would make SJWs go apeshit today.
In a scuffle where a Highlander chick rips several of Dong’s minions, who travel balancing on moving propellor blades, apart with a whip, another chick increases the death toll with flying snakes, and the leader of the Highlanders uses his hands to literally suck the life out of people, leaving empty husks of carcasses, Jet Li’s buddies get killed by Dong, who simply waves his palm and their insides and spinal cords are forced out of their bodies.
I’m not making this shit up.
Jet Li then joins the Highlanders to take revenge on Dong.
This was one of the movies that made up the greatest period in the history of HK cinema. Directed by Tony Ching Siu Tong and produced and written by the great Tsui Hark, it was a time when HK movies had that crazy energy and creativity that no one ever thought Western movies could ever replicate until the Russo Brothers made The Winter Soldier.
This was the kind of fight choreography that Tony Ching could easily come up with at his peak.
8.5/10
The Professor and the Madman
Mel Gibson plays the dude that led the compiling of the Oxford English Dictionary and Sean Penn plays a loon who is also a genius. Stop laughing. It’s not too bad. In fact, it could have been really good but the movie seems to be unfinished. It’s very likely that lots of things in the script were either not filmed or they were cut out by the studio since the quality of the writing and direction is actually pretty high from what can be seen from the existing material. 5.5/10
Stalker by Tarkovsky (subtitled). Actually, the USSR was pretty big on Sci Fi movies.
One might as well watch the original Solaris from the USSR that was later remade into that monstrosity with George Clooney.
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Could you explain Stalker to me? I watched the whole thing and didn’t really get it. At all. As in, it seemed like a bunch of random events that made no sense either individually or collectively. What did I miss?
Well, it’s a fascinating backstory, as it’s basically a hasty reshoot of the entire movie, the first version having been lost due a technical error and the plot kind of got lost in all the chaos.
Allegedly, the urban legend goes that the now lost first shoot was a completely different movie altogether. Also, the toxic chemicals from an abandoned factory where the shooting took place were responsible for Tarkovsky’s death a few years later which brings a creepy Chernobyl wide to the whole story.
But back to the movie - Stalker is basically a SciFi movie without a plot, which isn’t necessarily a drawback as it’s primarily a moving work of art - later the same concept would be brilliantly applied by the Turkish director Burge Ceylan in the mesmerizing Once upon a time in Anatolia which has a ten minute plot in it’s three plus hours of running time.
Of course a certain Quentin Tarantino replicated it for a wider audience in Once upon a time in Hollywood (ahem) which is pretty much also a plotless movie for most of its running time.
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Shazam was great. 9/10.
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