I could see this happening with the ultra jacked too. Someone like Dana Linn Bailey is so outstanding that I will enjoy her videos on occasion, but I donât consistently follow along. So, maybe thatâs because of the relatability thing. Her personality seems relatable and fun though.
Thank you.
I also believe this is why I have 2 friends⊠its just hard to find anyone I can relate to.
Like I was saying in your log, I personally have overlap with a lot of guys that are doing good things with their life.
Most arent going to the gym, grinding their career, uplifting their family, driving to build a legacy, and helping others in the process. Of those boxes, usually a few get checked - rarely is it all of them.
Which is why I talk about the overlap with those people, but struggle to actually fit in with those people.
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Yeah that all makes sense and I really like the idea of overlap without effort to fit in.
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From the article:
"People often say that actions speak louder than words, but whether that holds true may depend on oneâs sex. A new study in Evolutionary Psychological Science suggests that women are more likely than men to prefer tangible expressions of affectionâsuch as help with chores or small acts of careâover verbal declarations like âI love youâ or âIâm here for you.â This preference appears to be tied to how women and men differently perceive warmth and trustworthiness in potential partners.
The research offers new insight into how small, everyday behaviorsârather than grand gestures or expensive giftsâcan influence mate selection. While both men and women value warmth and trustworthiness in romantic partners, the study indicates that they differ in what kinds of signals they find most compelling during early courtship.
Much of the previous research on mate preferences has focused on large-scale traits like attractiveness, intelligence, or social status. While these qualities play a role in partner selection, they are relatively difficult to modify. In contrast, small expressions of affectionâsuch as what someone says or does in daily lifeâcan be adjusted more easily and may carry important social signals, especially during the early stages of a relationship.
The researchers were particularly interested in the perceived importance of âsweet wordsâ versus âsweet actions.â Sweet words included phrases like âI miss you,â âI understand you,â or verbal encouragement. Sweet actions referred to small but tangible gestures, such as helping with errands or cooking a meal. These two types of behavior are common in everyday relationships and offer different ways of expressing care.
Drawing on evolutionary theory, the researchers predicted that women would be more likely than men to prefer sweet actions over sweet words. This prediction was grounded in theories of reproductive investment: Women tend to prioritize signs that a partner is dependable and willing to invest in the relationship, while men are more sensitive to signals of immediate emotional or sexual interest. Sweet actions may serve as better indicators of commitment, while sweet words might offer more immediate gratification."
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What?! Grown men gooning to Grokâs anime Ani have issues? Never woulda thoughtâŠ
âA new study provides evidence that artificial intelligence technologies are becoming embedded in peopleâs romantic and sexual lives. The findings, published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, indicate that a sizable number of adults in the United Statesâespecially young menâreport using AI tools such as chatbot companions, AI-generated sexual imagery, and social media accounts that simulate idealized romantic partners. The researchers also found that more frequent engagement with these technologies was associated with higher levels of depression and lower life satisfaction.â
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I honestly find myself valuing the opposite.
Words are fine I guess, but I want to be shown that Iâm cared for.
Might be different if actions and words matched each other consistently, or maybe its my own trust issues coming to light.
Where do you land on this?
Do you prefer kind actions or kind words?
I experienced a âstarter marriageâ with neither, so Iâm a sucker for both. Iâd bet a little of each does the trick for most people.
Iâve always liked the Christian idea of âserving your spouseâ which can manifest in words and actions. I think men sometimes think that since theyâre the breadwinner (probably), thatâs all thatâs needed, but small gestures go a long way, too.
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Yeah, i used to think thatâs all it took. Make more money and sheâll finally do xyz
Didnt work.
Knowing what your spouse finds attractive works much better. Also more money 
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Ha!
Money is a problem solver. If a married couple can easily solve a problem (car broke down, deck needs painted, water heater is acting funny, groceries are more expensive) theyâre less likely to be stressed out and take it out on each other. Thatâs my theory at least.
Takes more than that of course for a successful relationship, but as Forrest Gump said, âLieutenant Dan got me invested in some kind of fruit company. So then I got a call from him, saying we donât have to worry about money no more. And I said, âThatâs good! One less thing.ââ
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Kind of brilliant, but thereâs a certain level of insanity at work here.
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Honestly i think the dudes wouldnt even be mad.
This is arguably one of the best ways for men to make friends.
38 minutes a day of gossiping?
My god
It is a good way to set up a date, though. âyou and me against the worldâ vibes hit hard.
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I think it depends how you view the word âgossip.â If you think of it as malicious (âdid you hear that Maggie fell flat on her face when she tried to act like she knew how to XYZ?â) I agree that 38 min is a lot of time spent on it, but if you think of it more as âI spoke to my sister today,â âOh, how is she?â âGood! She got a new car.â then it makes sense as something that increases connectedness.
I really canât imagine a marriage without this. My kids and I have a similar dynamic - we share info, and everyone is aware and participating. I assume that if one of them knows something about me, all of them do, unless I explicitly ask that they not mention it - in which case I trust each of them completely to hold my confidence. Thereâs no anger or betrayal where thereâs trust.
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Yeah. Thats how me & wife exchange tidbits of information, and sometimes little spurs of discussion branch off from there.
Not everything is a big sit down, serious conversation. A lot of it is "Oh, did you hear about so & so? Yeah, sheâs blah blah and the birthday yadda yadda.
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I confess that not everything we say at my house is kind (âoh good, a new carâ), because our people are flawed and funny and irritating. We like to entertain ourselves by imagining situations, and then applying the scenario to the various kids, e.g. win the lottery and who would react how. (Weâve agreed never to tell them, so they wonât be ruined by it and will keep their work ethics.) (Itâs going to be hard keeping it from them, because we see them all the time, plus the new beach house and such.)
And sometimes the irritation or worry is real and serious, and we talk about that, too.
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We consider it a foregone conclusion that aliens exist, but blame the other for not showing themselves.
Im right, but sheâs righter.
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The study used only 78 couples. The âbestâ results were amongst same-sex couples with lesbians ranking highest and straight lowest.
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. . . does posting on a bodybuilding forum count as gossip? Asking for a friend.
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You mean the gays gossip more than the straights?
Iâm shocked lol