I dislike chiropractors. At least most of them.
Why? Because they sell you 2 hours of feeling good with no long term benefit or resolution.
If you fix them, they no longer need to be a patient.
I think the same thing applies to most psychologists too.
Please tread gently, as you most likely havenât spent 10 000 hours with patients - As many experienced therapeuts, psychologists or physicians have. Itâs easy to have an opinion (about others) when responsibility lies elsewhere. I used to be opinionated myself upon doctorâs while being a nurse/paramedic. Boy, was I in for a new learning experience when I later started out my career as a doctor.
I might previously have mentioned a friend of mine, seriously telling a group of other friends in detail what I do at work as a physician - While I was there attending. Heâs nowhere near a healthcare job, and talked like people do about doctorâs in general preconceived notions. How could he possibly know how doctorâs think?
On a provocative note - How many people are on TRT for other reasons than strictly medical? Who prescribes it and under what circumstances? Is low testosterone the symtom or the correct diagnose?
I think we took a wrong turn at outsourcing our well being.
As Iâve often said, people donât want freedom, they just want to be irresponsible.
Understanding some of the primary cognitive fallacies that people are riddled with would go a long way toward helping a lot of people.
This study is from 1980, but itâs been making the rounds recently. Itâs truly fascinating with tons of real-life implications. Iâll let ChatGPT sum it up:
Like the universe 25 experiment? That one still creeps me out.
According to a study/survey conducted by a law firm, men often file for divorce when they feel emasculated.
Emasculation involves:
Public Criticism and Humiliation: Most common. Wife criticizes her husbandâs decisions, actions, or abilities at social gatherings, in front of friends or family, or on social media.
Overruling Decisions and Undermining Authority: Especially in matters involving parenting or household management.
Demeaning Achievements and Belittling Efforts: Wife belittles his professional achievements, personal ambitions, or efforts to contribute to the household.
The study didnât get into infidelity (one of the most common causes of divorce), but others concluded that â⊠men who feel emasculatedâexperiencing a diminished sense of masculinity or power within their marriageâmay seek extramarital affairs as a means to reaffirm their masculinity and self-worth.â
Whatever happened to the Dutch Oven as an attitude adjuster?
Thought that was an expression of love and authenticity? 
I can confirm this studyâs results anecdotally.
About 18 months ago my wife was publicly disrespectful to me for the first time. I almost left her on the side of the road 50 miles from home.
After nearly 3 hours of absolute silence from me, I told her that was the last time she will ever be married and disrespectful to me again.
She listened.
As far as boundaries go, this is second only to infidelity in my books.
Interestingly, men who start making themselves more attractive to the opposite sex are far more likely to start getting compliance and respect from their previously disrespectful wives.
Something about the anxiety of being left to fend for themselves and possibility of having to downgrade if their man leaves seems to prompt better behavior.
It wasnât until i stopped caring about my marriage and was ready starting to walk away that my wife began acting like someone who Iâd consider marrying.
Not saying itâs nice, but worked for me. The alternative was divorce.
I read Jung when i feel like mind fucking myself from time to time. Middle age hit hard mentally and âthe shadowâ was an eye opening concept to me.
In a 2016 study published in Personnel Psychology, likability was a significant predictor of hiring decisions, even when controlling for technical skills. Companies frequently choose candidates they like over those who are more qualified. People prefer to work with others they find relatable and pleasant, instead of competent dickheads.
Likewise, high emotional intelligence (EQ) â the ability to understand and manage your emotions and empathize with others â correlates strongly with likability. People with high EQ are perceived as better communicators and team players.
One issue with likability in this context is aggressive self-promotion or arrogance. Youâre trying to sell yourself in interviews, but this can come off as dickish.
The last couple of interviews Iâve been on were more like informal conversations about the work. The technical stuff was built in, but it was just very casually part of the conversation.
We spend way too much time at work to make it any harder by stocking the place with insufferable jagoffs.
Psychology studies show that people generally dislike braggarts. This seems more true in Canada than some other countries. But it is sometimes important to talk about your accomplishments. How to do so in a humble way?
The best way is to get someone else to do it, like every introduction at every event ever. Another way is to Trumpsplain - increase perceived social acceptance by quoting what âmany people are sayingâ. A different way is to make sure you bring a hand puppet to every interview so that your best points get highlighted.
This is a potential problem, as one person can find you likable and another unlikable, both because of individual biases. In other words, itâs not about being likable as much as itâs being perceived as such.
Yeah, tricky. Especially since I was just reading about sociopathic personalities and how good they are making people trust/like them.
I canât tell you how many times Iâve run into people being discriminated against under the guise of âa fit for the culture of the business.â
And its putting competency on the backburner.
There was a distinguishable shift in hiring practices after covid. Competence was far less important than personality.
Candidates are filtered by some ignoramus in HR then shuttled off and interviewed by a hiring manager that doesnt ask technical questions and only cares about STAR format.
So now all the higher positions are filled with nice idiots that only hire nice idiots.
This. So fucking much.
I once interviewed in the South Bronx for a managerial position. Literally allquestions pertained to disciplinary action. Almost every question was a variation of, âIf an employee does/doesnât do X, what are you gonna do?â They also asked, âIf that happens are you gonna come to us?,â which meant, âYou better not come to us.â No questions were asked about job duties or knowledge.
I was grilled by five people at a conference table. It was the strangest interview I experienced. I assumed I wasnât hired because I wasnât mean and scary enough.
I believe studies show such reporting, but Iâve seldom met a braggart who lacked a social life.
Braggarts do tend to talk a lot, and this appeals to some people. There is a difference between authentic bragging (real accomplishment) and hubristic bragging (self importance). But I agree braggarts often seem more social.
More than you want to know:
