The Psychology Thread 🧠

Thats funny. I zoomed directly to the high/psychopathy guy. I don’t know why though.

Thinking about it, he looks predatory. Not like emotional angry, but like an animal that wants to eat.

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I was reminded of this below when I read about someone posting a food photo on a recipe forum somewhere and you could see their nakedness reflected in a shiny toaster. I remember hearing of people doing that (on purpose) when selling stuff on eBay back in the day. Usually it’s gross dudes.

Anyway, I had to ChatGPT it:

So . . . what were you hoping for when you asked everyone to post their most recent phone pictures?

Ha! Nightmare fuel.

I actually did this here:

But not on purpose. By the time I realized it, I figured screw it. Its nothing horrible, just my not great ribcage/abdomen and wrists.

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ā€œThe study found that even moderately attractive faces were judged more favorably when paired with less attractive ones, a phenomenon linked to emotional brain responses measured through electrical activity.ā€

Hang out with ugly people to be more attractive?

Reminds me of the ā€œDesert Queenā€ thing some military friends told me about.

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Chicks have been doing this forever.

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That sounds really elegant and exotic until one finds out what it means. :rofl:

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I’m going to try that out! I have a few others I like when I get too amped up, but its always good to have another arrow in the quiver. :+1:

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If everyone knows this and does it, and you just found out about it… What does that make you (not YOU you)?

Just in case anyone wanted some anxiety for free :joy:

Makes me a user of ā€œthe cheerleader effectā€?

My favorite is the beached whale friend shrieking ā€œShe’s not interestedddd!!!ā€

Every time

I do that to them too. They don’t know what to think

Lol they probably get horny

Reverse psychology

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I’m reading fictional book where a character has this interesting personality trait and behavior. I’ve seen real-life people do this too, so I asked an A.I. to give me a lesson. Here’s the prompt and the mini-article from ChatGPT:

The behavior you’re describing is commonly referred to as ā€œdouble bindā€ in psychology. A double bind occurs when a person is placed in a no-win situation where they face conflicting demands or expectations, and no matter what they do, they cannot satisfy the other party. The term was first introduced by anthropologist Gregory Bateson and his colleagues in the context of communication theory, particularly in relation to family dynamics and mental health (e.g., schizophrenia). In your example, the wife is criticized for not checking on the baby but also criticized for checking on it, creating a lose-lose scenario.

Characteristics of a Double Bind

  • Contradictory Demands: The person is given two or more conflicting messages or expectations (e.g., ā€œcheck on the babyā€ vs. ā€œdon’t disturb the babyā€).
  • No Escape: The individual cannot easily leave the situation or resolve the conflict, as both options lead to criticism or negative consequences.
  • Repeated Pattern: This isn’t a one-off event but a recurring dynamic that creates confusion, frustration, or powerlessness.
  • Implicit or Explicit Power Imbalance: The person imposing the double bind often holds some authority or emotional leverage (e.g., a spouse, parent, or boss).

In relationships, this behavior can also overlap with gaslighting or manipulative control tactics, where the goal is to undermine the other person’s confidence or autonomy. It may also be linked to emotional abuse if it’s part of a broader pattern of demeaning or controlling behavior.

Possible Motivations or Internal Drives

The motivations behind creating double binds can vary depending on the individual and context, but some common psychological drivers include:

  1. Need for Control or Power:
  • The person may feel insecure or threatened and uses double binds to maintain dominance in the relationship. By ensuring the other person ā€œfails,ā€ they reinforce their own sense of superiority or control.
  • Example: The husband might feel inadequate in his role as a partner or parent and deflects this by making his wife feel at fault no matter what she does.
  1. Unresolved Emotional Issues:
  • The individual may have unresolved anger, resentment, or insecurities that manifest as criticism or manipulation. Double binds can be a way to externalize their internal conflict onto someone else.
  • Example: The husband might be stressed about parenting responsibilities but, instead of addressing his own anxiety, he projects it onto his wife’s actions.
  1. Avoidance of Accountability:
  • By placing the other person in a no-win situation, the individual avoids taking responsibility for their own feelings, actions, or the relationship’s problems. It shifts the focus to the other person’s ā€œfailure.ā€
  • Example: The husband might criticize his wife to deflect attention from his own lack of involvement in childcare.
  1. Learned Behavior:
  • The person may have grown up in an environment where double binds or manipulative communication were common (e.g., in a dysfunctional family). They replicate these patterns unconsciously or because they’ve learned it’s an effective way to ā€œwinā€ or avoid vulnerability.
  • Example: The husband might have observed similar dynamics between his parents, internalizing this as a normal way to interact.
  1. Punishment or Retaliation:
  • Double binds can be a passive-aggressive way to punish or express hostility toward the other person, especially if the individual feels wronged or resentful.
  • Example: If the husband feels neglected or unappreciated, he might use criticism to ā€œget backā€ at his wife indirectly.
  1. Projection of Internal Conflict:
  • The person may be grappling with their own contradictory desires or fears (e.g., wanting the baby to be safe but also fearing disruption) and projects this conflict onto the other person, expecting them to resolve it.
  • Example: The husband might be anxious about the baby’s well-being but also frustrated by disturbed sleep, and he places the burden of resolving this tension on his wife.

Psychological Context

In some cases, this behavior may be associated with personality traits or disorders, such as:

  • Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): Individuals with narcissistic traits may use double binds to maintain control and keep others ā€œin their place.ā€
  • Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): People with BPD may create double binds due to emotional instability or fear of abandonment, testing others’ loyalty or commitment.
  • Anxiety or Perfectionism: The individual might impose impossible standards out of their own anxiety or need for perfection, not realizing the unfairness of their demands.

However, not all instances of double binds are tied to personality disorders. Stress, poor communication skills, or temporary emotional overwhelm can also lead to this behavior.

How to Address It

If someone is consistently creating double binds, it can erode trust and emotional safety in a relationship. Here are some strategies for dealing with it:

  • Call Out the Pattern: Calmly point out the no-win situation (e.g., ā€œIt feels like I’m being criticized no matter what I do about the baby. Can we talk about what’s really going on?ā€).
  • Set Boundaries: Refuse to engage in the double bind by redirecting the conversation to problem-solving or disengaging if the criticism becomes abusive.
  • Seek Clarity: Ask for specific, actionable expectations to break the cycle of contradictory demands.
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Describes my father in law to a T.

I’m going to show this post to my wife later. Aside from getting a kick out of it, its also clear and informative. So thanks!

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Have you guys been keeping up to date with AI trajectory?

It’s insane! This is the least of what AI can do now.

Give it another 5-10 years… I’m very curious to see how it changes the way we go about forming relationships, esp when (not if) manufactured friendship and intimacy becomes a thing.