never heard the “look at me now” jam
pretty cool.
will there be vid of singing Beast and thrown panties 
There were no thrown panties or video taken, unfortunately. Mostly dudes present. Gonna keep this brief, as I have some studying to do.
10 May 2011
Morning
4 Rounds
Jumprope x 3:00
10-15 Pushups
Abs x 20
BW Squats x 20
Pullups x 5
3 Rounds
Various Kicks x 20
Ab Wheel x 10
Short session as I had an early appointment, but one with only two interruptions. A friend, then a lil cockknuckle who saw it fit to push my shit to the side so he can take my space for situps. I squatted down in front of him, and just stared at him. He promptly removed himself from my location. Fucking idiot. Other than that, pretty good session. 
This was my theme song for today’s work. Kinda meshed well with my mood, as I was in a bit of a low state. Didn’t want to just lay around, so, sanctuary it was. In the midst of working, I ended up yelling at someone who thought it okay to drop their shit on the equipment I was in the middle of using.
Short of asking me for assistance, it would be fucking lovely if people would stay out of my way and leave me alone. Especially when I’m really showing that I’m in no mood to chit-chat.
10 May 2011
Evening
Squats
225 x 10 x 10 (As much as it truly sucked, there was no way in hell I was going to miss any reps. By set 7, I was yelling with every rep.)
Box Jumps
BW x 10 x 10 (It’d been a long while since I’d done any plyo-work, so I figured this would be a good finish.)
Lateral Box Jumps
BW x 20 x 2 (after getting interrupted during the box jumps, I needed to burn off a bit of anger.)
10 May 2011
Later in the evening
2.75 mile walk
11 May 2011
Morning
40m Warmup/Sprints x 12
100m Hill Sprints x 5
80m Hill Sprints x 3
Pullups
BW x 6 x 5
BW x 5 x 5
BW x 4 x 5
BW x 3 x 5
BW x 2 x 5
BW x 1 x 5
Side-Planks
BW x 10 x 3
11 May 2011
Evening
Push Press
135 x 10 x 10
Lateral Raises
20 x 10 x 5
Handstands
30s x 2
Neck Iso
25 x 20 x 1 (all four sides)
Later that evening…
5.5k walk w/pack
Hi Beast! Just chekin’ in. That 10x10 squat workout looks brutal!
Nice with all the BW stuff too. Jumpin’, push-upin’, hand-standin’.
Go Beast!
you are nutters with those high rep squats!
I am nutters for other reasons, actually.
The vid fits my mindset for this week.
13 May 2011
Morning
Circuit x 2
Jumprope x 2-3:00
Pushups x 20
V-Ups x 15
Pullups x 5
Thai-Bag work x 1 hour
Hmm…strange times right now.
Motivation: 0.
Desire: 0.
Apetite: 0.
Interest in leaving my room: -10
Storm’s brewin…
So, the past couple of days have been pretty bad mentally/emotionally. Was way down yesterday, only leaving my room for half an hour at most. I couldn’t even focus on a dvd, I was so far gone. Ended up callin it fairly early. Felt a little better today, with a clearer picture of what will most likely be the way forward, then got a whiff of myself. I stunk. After showering, went to the gym. Can’t call it a sanctuary any longer, as it’s no longer enough for me. But, work was still done.
15 May 2011
Evening
Warmup x 15 min.
Hang Cleans w/Squat
Bar x 5 x 2
65 x 5 x 1
95 x 3 x 2
115 x 3 x 2
135 x 3 x 2
155 x 3 x 3
Front Squats
135 x 5 x 1
225 x 5 x 3
Pullups
BW x 7 x 5
BW x 6 x 5
BW x 5 x 5
BW x 4 x 5
BW x 3 x 5
BW x 2 x 5
BW x 1 x 5
This will be my last day of work, as I’ll be in the hospital from tomorrow til next week, sometime. Getting my eyes scrubbed, so I’ll be out of the fight for a bit. Til then…
Hope the surgery goes well and that everything starts looking up for you, dude. Good luck.
good luck with the surgery - although beast with glasses will be missed
Well, fuck me. I guess this is just my time to roll thru the shit, life-wise. Travelled across this fucking country for the surgery, and on the night prior, received a call saying I got rejected. My corneas are apparently too thin.
20 May 2011
Morning
Clean & Press (w/full squat)
135 x 3 x 7
WG Pullups
BW x 5 x 4
Dips
BW x 10 x 3
Funny...I was asked what is it about me that tends to put people off. At the time, I didn't have an answer. I still don't have much of one, but one thing that I can probably suggest is one word that was mentioned by the person that asked: overwhelming. Strangly enough, this isn't the first time I've heard that word. And I can see how that word applies to me, as when it comes to matters of the heart, be it for a friend, a colleague, or a lover, it's all or nothing. I'll expound on this further.
From the time I was a boy, I tended to march to my own beat, although it was easy for me to make friends. Hell, that's what kids do. While that came easy for me, I still had to wear a mask, as while I was the typical kid outside my apartment, inside the apartment was a whole 'nother story. I won't go into details, however, it was pretty bad. I did pretty good keeping both worlds separate until the age of 10, when both worlds collided, as things that I lived with was exposed for all to see. As fucked up as things were at home, it was still "home." I lost that. A couple of years later, I lost those that I considered friends, as I began to realize what road they were trying to go down. I went with them part of the way, however, when I ended up in the back of a police car, I learned quickly that that was not the path for me. They felt otherwise. Horrible feeling having your entire group of friends turn on you...violently. Couple that with the mother-of-all examples of how NOT to lecture or raise a child, and once again, my world was knocked off its axis.
Fast-forward to adulthood, and problems remained the same. New place --> new friends --> new colleagues --> same me --> fallout with friends --> conflict with colleagues and "superiors". This has been the recipe for me for 8 locations and 13 years. While part of the problem professionally is my refusal to conform, the overall problem I tend to encounter has been the same. "Home." I use that word in both a literal and figurative sense. Someplace I belong. In the military, they talk alot about cohesion and family. It's truly an atypical job. And there has been only one place where I've felt some semblance of this concept: basic training. Outside of that, even though you have to look at the people you live/work/train with daily, it's a mass of individuals or cliques. If you do anything different, or outside of their "norm", heaven help you.
In friendship, I'm pretty simple. Loyalty. A friend has your back thru thick and thin. A friend won't hesitate to tell you when you fuck up, however, they'll still have your back regardless. A friend doesn't let bullshit come between them and you. If I have it to give, it is yours to take. I hate to put it in this overused form, but "ride or die." While we are friends and enjoy hanging out together, there is nothing wrong with pursuing your own interests, however, if need be, at the drop of a hat, we'll be there for each other. That's another form of "home" for me. And while I do have friends and such, and I would go to the ends of the earth for them, it ain't mutual. Perhaps it's my assumption, or my expectations are too damned high, or I'm living in a fantasy, but these sentiments are what I bring to the table in regards to friendship. Something I have yet to see in return, unfortunately.
In terms of relationships, it's the same as above, however, add in intimacy and such. No pretenses. No masks. No hiding. None of that stuff. This is me, warts, scars, and all. There is no accepting "part" of me (unless I'm fucked up and should be locked up or institutionalized), just as I will not accept only part of you. It's all or nothing. In this regard, I can see where it'd be overwhelming for folks. One thing I notice about myself is that while I do consider the future, it's a loose concept for me. Especially when I look to the present and the people that I want around me. There are things that I want to do in this world, just as there are things the other wants to do. However, for me, once again, I guess I'm stuck on another planet, as I live in the here and now. I see what's down the road, but guess what...routes (in life) can change. I guess, ultimately, it's like my therapist told me a couple of weeks ago. Home for me is not about the location. It's in the people. Location, while not completely meaningless, just doesn't merit my full and undivided attention. It doesn't concern me. Why? Well, this is where I get all old-fashioned, but the location doesn't make life worth living. People do. Sad that in all my encouters IRL, I tend to be the only one that holds onto this belief. /rant.
22 May 2011
Morning
Ruck March
7 miles
Hi Beast
Have you thought about maybe traveling around to places you think you might want to live first before settling on one place? This way you could meet the people there first. Like an extended cross continental vacation. There are ways of doing this on the cheap.
Hope you find a place. 
[quote]Charlie Horse wrote:
Hi Beast
There are ways of doing this on the cheap.
[/quote]
My interest is piqued.
sucks about the surgery…sorry to hear it.