[quote]Canada_K wrote:
So I?m bummed. My wife won?t be coming to see me compete. I?m not in the least bit surprised, to be honest. I?ve known from day 1 that this isn?t something she?s excited about. She?s smiling and tolerating her goofy husband chasing some goofy goal that takes up a HUGE chunk of time, but she?s really not interested in it.
But here?s the deal. A lot of other folks are coming. Some are flying from across the country. Some are driving several hours. Hell, a number of co-workers have said they?d like to go. All these people, some of whom don?t have much of a vested interest in me, and they?re going to inconvenience themselves to come.
But not my wife.
Why not?
I don?t get it. When she chooses to pursue something, it doesn?t matter whether it interests me or not. I get involved.
Sigh.
It?s reality. I?ve made peace with it as much as I?m able. But this makes me sad.[/quote]
That IS really sad.
My wife sells the glassware she makes at craft sales. I sometimes go to help her out even though it bores the arse of me, but I do it for HER. And if I wanted to pursue something I know she would support me 100% regardless of how stupid she might deem it.
Not trying to get all ‘Oprah’ on you, but is this indicative of other problems you might have in the relationship? Seems odd behaviour for her if everything else is rosy.
It is a great shame though, maybe she’ll come round.
DAMN! I’m floored that your wife wouldn’t see you on stage. To me it sounds like shes trying to punish you for taking time out and doing something you like to do. Is she the type that feels that any free time you have outside of work should be dedicated to her? I can say this much your handling it better then I would.
Y’all are very kind. I absolutely could sit down with my wife and explain how important this is to me, but she knows that. After 16 years of marriage she has an excellent idea of what makes me tick. And if I gently explained that it would be really meaningful to me to have her there she would make arrangements to be there.
But here’s the deal: I don’t want it if I have to beg for it. It should simply be forthcoming at this point.
Are there residual issues in the marriage? Of course. Nobody stays married this long without there being some small issues on the back burner. My lifting is one of them. It really is a small issue. On the matter of commitment, finances, parenting, and all the other biggies we are a united front and work exceptionally well together.
It still makes me bummed. Nuff said. I have vented.
I agree about not harping on her about it. If it’s one small bit of your overall relationship then don’t sweat it. On the other hand maybe she’ll surprise you and show up after all. Her saying she’s not going to attend at this early stage before you’re close to contest ready might not be her final answer.
BTW, your leg looks pretty good, especially the calf. I know you feel fat, but that’s why you have a coach and teeth clenched drive to take care of that. You have a few months to get ripped - you’ll look great!
[quote]Canada_K wrote:
But here’s the deal: I don’t want it if I have to beg for it. It should simply be forthcoming at this point.
.[/quote]
Maybe im spoiled in that regards. because in my relationship its a given.
I mean Christ at Meets my wife is calling depth for me along with on heavy sets in my garage.So I just cant get a grasp on what your having to deal with. If it makes you feel better I would say there a few of us here who would be there to see you on stage if we could.
[quote]Canada_K wrote:
Y’all are very kind. I absolutely could sit down with my wife and explain how important this is to me, but she knows that. After 16 years of marriage she has an excellent idea of what makes me tick. And if I gently explained that it would be really meaningful to me to have her there she would make arrangements to be there.
But here’s the deal: I don’t want it if I have to beg for it. It should simply be forthcoming at this point.
Are there residual issues in the marriage? Of course. Nobody stays married this long without there being some small issues on the back burner. My lifting is one of them. It really is a small issue. On the matter of commitment, finances, parenting, and all the other biggies we are a united front and work exceptionally well together.
It still makes me bummed. Nuff said. I have vented.[/quote]
You didn’t ask for feedback, so I apologize in advance if it isn’t welcome…
I’m married a long time as well–23 years on our next anniversary. I know exactly what you mean when you say “I don’t want it if I have to beg for it”–support doesn’t feel as genuine and/or special if you had to ask for it. Also, there’s male pride involved–us guys hate to reach out emotionally; it makes us feel vulnerable, weak and needy. (I may be speaking only for myself here.) But one thing I’ve learned is, sometimes even spouses have a ‘blind spot’ when it comes to really understanding each other. I look at it this way–if I was behaving in a way that left my wife feeling unsupported/unloved, I would definitely want her to tell me so I could make it right. Given this, it seems only fair that I extend to her the same benefit of the doubt I would ask for myself, and so I suck it up, set my pride aside, and tell her how I feel. FWIW.
A merry Christmas to everyone who honors me by reading this log. Those who have been gracious enough to make yourselves known, and those of you remain silent and steadfast, I am deeply appreciative of the time you spend reading. My log has definitely grown less entertaining over the past several months as I put a renewed level of (extreme) focus into chasing down my goals. Stick around, though. In a few months when the craziness subsides, I’ll have a bunch of neat stuff to share.
I got this interesting note from my coach after I sent my last weekly report
“Weight: I’ve got to admit, that caught me off guard. Interesting surge the last couple weeks after it looked like it was going stick at or even travel down from the low-mid 190s. Looks like your body wants to grow. It doesn’t necessarily mean too much for this prep but it’s a sign of encouragement should you want to go on a prolonged mass phase some time post-show.”
That’s a very neat statement from out of left field I’d come to the conclusion after a series of unsuccessful bulk attempts that the reason I wasn’t gaining any muscle anymore was that I was pushing my genetic limits. This opens up the possibility that I have more room to grow. All in all, this is a cool Christmas present.
Tomorrow, it’s back to The Grind. I get to lift with my old workout partner, a rather monstrous dude who taught me a lot about attitude in the gym. T’will be cool.
“Looks like your body wants to grow. It doesn’t necessarily mean too much for this prep but it’s a sign of encouragement should you want to go on a prolonged mass phase some time post-show.”
[/quote]
What a wonderful Christmas present. You’ve posted about how you’ve always envied the big powerlifters, now here’s your chance!
My old workour partner bought a week’s pass for my gym. I think we may be seeing more of each other. Did I mention this is the guy that helped grease me up for my on-line physique contest 2 years ago? When you go through that together you form a bond forged in SHAME!
I asked him to be my backstage helper at my show. Then we can actually make some use of this sordid history together.
Today we did the deadlift workout of death and we finished off with some calf work. We did calf raises in the leg press, and finished off with a nasty drop set. When I staggered out to give Russ his turn, and resturned myself to vertical, I got the most RIDICULOUS calf pump of my life. It was crazy. Absolutely wacko. I spent the next thirty second checking them out in the mirror.
Sick.
Then Russ had to spring across the gym to rescue some dude who was pinned under the bar in the bench press.
atypical - knee sleeves! what an awesome idea! Plus they look totally badass. I think I know what to do with some Xmas money. Andno, I don’t have a target weight. My coach has given me a time period and we’ll take what we get before the diet starts.
cav - You’re very supportive and I appreciate that a lot. In the end, I can do my absolute best and see what it gets me.
dogg - Yeah, your wife is awesome. I’m five shades of jealous. Tell you what. If you come to the show I’ll wear the Borat style man-kini. How’s THAT for incentive?
dentist - I appreciate you trying to help. My wife knows how I feel, and in the end I’ve no interest in guilting her into participating in something she doesn’t want to do. I can take support and comfort from my good friends, and that will be good.
Todd - whatever you embedded I can’t see it. How about just posting the link so’s I can enjoy it?
Matty - While fuck is appropriate to describe me, monster is a bit over the top. I’d accept “more threatening than a cracked out homeless dude”.
dday yes, i could use whatever that was you tried to post also! Link us!!
I totally get not wanting to guilt her into it. I do think no matter what they say…
there is some sort of envy or jealousy to see the passion and dedication for something other than them.
I also think James may be right, it is early, and I hope she decides to support you.
Just catching up after the holiday. Your training looks good-pic’s of your competion can keep you on track and motivated-fear of failure can be your friend. Sorry to hear about the wife. I haven’t competed in a long time but when I did my wife supported me and was there to cheer me on. Of course she didn’t enjoy me dieting and all the prep work but she hung in there. I wouldn’t beg 4 it either-fuck it you’re doing for yourself anyway.
