I don’t believe that the fucking kneeling kettlebell curl is the secret to unlocking new biceps growth.
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I don’t know if this is a confession or me just venting or what, but does anyone else get this?
I have apparently become some sort of office gatekeeper of all things fitness. Today, I had a co-worker randomly tell me “You should be proud of me; I lost 25lbs since January. Dropped from 24 to 18% bodyfat”.
And don’t get me wrong; I WAS proud of that person, but I also didn’t care when they were fatter. People seem to think I’m constantly passing judgement on them all for not having the same priorities I do when it comes to fitness, and then they also want to share their fitness accomplishments with me in order to get my nod of approval.
And most times I’m like “I’m the guy who blows out his knee trying to lift things that are too heavy; you don’t want my approval”.
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Oh. My. God.
Fucking constantly!
It’s almost like people feel like they need to apologise to you for not being in shape and eating the way they do. I sit there eating my tupperware of cold fucking turkey, rice and spinach hating every second of it, while various coworkers explain to me that the reason they’re eating a pie is because it’s their sister’s birthday, or that it’s ok because they’ll go for a run (they won’t) tomorrow.
The really frustrating thing is I absolutely, completely, utterly could not care less about anyone else’s diet or fitness level, and I certainly didn’t ask.
In recent month’s they’ve kicked it up a gear and started mentioning my diet to my girlfriend (she and I work in the same place). They ask her shit like “does Bob eat like that all the time?” and say weird shit like “how can you date a guy who eats so boring?”
For the record, I’m a fantastic cook and regularly cook my girlfriend awesome meals, not that it’s any of their god damn business.
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Yup. Just not on my agenda to care about. It’d be like if there was a really talented guitar player in the office and I kept apologizing for the fact that my guitar has been gathering dust for the past 3 years but I SWEAR I’m going to break it out tonight and practice some scales.
I figure I’M the weird one, not them. Eating yummy food feels good.
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It’s hard to fathom for people buried in this subculture. For the vast majority of the world doing ANY amount of diet or exercise consistently makes you weird. People are always like
“you want a donut?”
“No thanks”
“Oh I forgot, you’re watching what you eat.”
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haha, great analogy although if Zakk Wylde ever comes into my workplace I’ll probably drop to my knees and beg forgiveness for giving up on sweep picking (you just don’t need it to play rock music from the 70s!)
The standard workplace lunch in Scotland is:
-Store-bought sandwich
-Bag of crisps (you call them chips)
-Bar of chocolate
-Can of juice (soda, to y’all)
I would much rather eat that than 500g of turkey mince cooked in 3tbsp of olive oil, 200g of spinach and 200g of basmati rice (spinach and rice both weighed uncooked), but it wouldn’t be 50g of protein, 80g of carbs and 30g of fat per serving, so… yeah.
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I have learned the best response in this situation is “Yes I want it, but I’m not going to have it thanks”
People get offended if you act like you don’t want what they are offering you. It seems to help if you jointly agree that the donut is in fact yummy before declaring that you won’t be eating it.
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I don’t think i’ve ever turned down a doughnut to be honest
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This is the standard in my office in the US as well. Our recycling bin at the office is just FILLED to the brim with soda cans. Doesn’t help that they only cost 25c in the vending machine lol.
People think I’m weird because they see me every morning with my
- Green shake (apple, banana, spinach, other shit)
- 1 big ass tupperware (fits 7 cups of food).
- 64oz Yeti rambler with water
But what they don’t know is I get 1500-1800 calories (sometimes even 2000) from 1 meal (my post workout) and I don’t like a lot of small meals lol.
Whenever I go to a sushi place with my coworkers they are in shock cause I eat about 12-15 plates of sushi (conveyor belt style) while they mostly eat 4-6. But I’m use to eating 2-3 HUGE meals a day.
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Only fat nerds who look like Jack Black with longer hair can be bothered with that shit. That’s because all they do is spend their time shredding in their parents’ basements beside their beds and squat rack trying impress their anime dolls.
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My resident actually asked me this morning if today was a “cheat day” (her exact phrase) because she brought donuts and kolaches. How the hell she knows about the concept of a ‘cheat day,’ I have no idea. (And no, it isn’t, so no donuts or kolaches for me.)
For the record, they were more accurately what is called a pig in a blanket than a true kolach.
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That’s what all the girls say when they see it !!
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I am thinking about selling my children for scientific studies !!
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Similar thing but since all my co-workers found out that I’m vegetarian they all try to talk to me about ‘making the switch’.
Cool guys, but I genuinely don’t care what you put in your bodies. I have no agenda, and I’m not trying to rally up an army of vegetarians, it’s just how I eat.
“so, should I eat more vegetables?”
“well… Yeah… Of course…”
How is that even a question in 2017
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The same way we end up with articles in fitness rags about the dangers of fruit?
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There is also the other side of the coin where someone tries to get your approval on an activity or diet or similar. Usually this comes along with the assumption you’re into the entire holistic thing.
I had a guy try to get my endorsement on magnets and spelt bread which was a weird combo.
One of the (few) benefits of adding a bunch of fat lately is this doesn’t happen as much anymore…
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Nonononono! Pig in a blanket is ground beef and rice wrapped in cabbage and slow cooked in crushed tomatoes.
And you can eat them on cheat days.
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Had to be done…
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Ewww!
Why do people do that?
Thats like eating the jelly that Vienna sausages come in.
Pig in a blanket is delicious.
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