I’ll also add that not permitting unsavory men access to one’s family members is not chattel slavery.
3 Likes
I forgot to say thanks for this before.
1 Like
It’s hard for me to see a difference between ownership and this:
Bad men BREED women and girls they don’t cherish. Bad men do NOT take care of their young daughters. Bad men PREY on unattended girls.
Good men and women are not always what one gets in the way of parents, for a great number or reasons. The girls who lack these should be able to see to their own protection.
Ugly girls are NOT swept up by desirable men.
Girls in this position should be able to provide their own lives of dignity and self-worth.
3 Likes
Who chooses to let these men reproduce?
No one is arguing against this; im not sure why you keep going back to it.
1 Like
As the aforementioned author also said, “What we have is dysgenics under welfare conditions.”
2 Likes
A bit of an aside:
Being overweight can cause erectile dysfunction (damaged blood vessels, decreased testosterone, inflammation, etc.) That’s embarrassing and humiliating for the men, and may cause his partner to feel unattractive, even though that has nothing to do with it. Rather than lose weight or at least get on the little blue pill, they just avoid sex.
I read an article about this recently by a therapist. She said that the dead bedroom issue is often the “fault” of the men, not the women, but no one talks about it. One man always waited until his wife was asleep before he went to bed. He couldn’t risk the humiliation. And I’m sure the psychological effects, the fear of nothing happening down there, just makes it worse. His wife, um, self-serviced, but the lack of physical intimacy, the closeness, the afterglow, was still missing and affected their marriage.
So, it’s not always a “frigid” woman thing. I bet a big part of the problem comes down to the ever increasing waistlines of men and all the problems that causes, mainly after age 40.
6 Likes
My original stance to this is that dead bedrooms are almost always the men’s fault. Even when removing performance issues from that group - i still believe it lands squarely on the men in most situations.
1 Like
I believe they do it of their own volition, as presumably do the women with whom they have children.
Because this fantasy world in which benevolent men guide foolish women who cannot be trusted to behave in her own best interest - or society’s - completely ignores anything contrary to the script.
All those off-script issues? Are what brought us to this cultural shift in the first place.
1 Like
Yes, and I made the erectile dysfunction point in my first post in the thread.
Disregard my deleted post, i misread your comment.
You don’t think feminism had a role in this cultural shift at all?
My argument is that if women chose good men to reproduce with, those good men would guide their daughters towards other good men, while also protecting their women from bad men.
I don’t see how feminism has done anything but hamper the ability of good men from doing this.
2 Likes
Feminism WAS the cultural shift. Women opting out. Going their own way, to borrow a couple of the men’s rights’ slogans. Was there overcorrection? Sure. And it’s being addressed. Luckily men are able to vote!
And my point is that good women can already find good men, and vice versa.
Men’s authority over women did not protect them. They were far more vulnerable. Personally, I don’t want to be raped with the state’s approval. Personally, I’m relieved I was able to leave a marriage to an increasingly unstable man.
Good men are free to do this. You have. @BrickHead has. @Njord has. @usmccds423 has. @RT_Nomad has. Etc.
Feminism hasn’t stopped you from living as you want, has it? And if so, what has it taken from you?
5 Likes
Thats where the puzzlement occurs for me. I don’t see women having equal rights as somehow infringing on mine in any way.
Its like the difference between zero sum and collaborative economics. More for you doesn’t mean less for me, in my view of this. More for you means more for both of us. Less for either detracts from both.
1 Like
Thank you. I sincerely appreciate the compliments.
However, we are just a few individuals. The consequences of feminism for society have been awful. I have repeatedly recommended much content about this.
1 Like
And I disagree with that content. I find it political, and meant mostly to benefit the content provider. I believe there are equivalent content providers shilling books and channels designed to increase women’s sense of victimization.
So I’ll ask you - what has feminism taken from you, personally?
I don’t think you or anyone here read one book I’ve recommended, except for one poster. Anyone can read one and refute it.
Something I can prove directly to me, like a clear, linear cause and effect? Nothing. But it is one element ruining my society and individuals, particularly many unfortunate men.
3 Likes
I’ll offer I was a romantic nerd for twenty-five years, a scumbag for ten, and some mix in between as yet. I’ve had multiple very long term relationships and a few periods of single hedonism. My first experience was at 16 and am now somewhere between 50-70 sex partners, all told, in my late thirties. I was an athlete, and also majored in social justice taking more than one or two courses on feminist theory. My frequency and success getting access to women hasn’t changed throughout my life, but the kind of woman did many times. Usually, what I would put out I’d get back… there are more than 4 billion women in the world, and in any kind of exchange with any of them, I was 50% of the equation. NOTHING I did would 100% “work” on anyone. But ANYTHING I did would 100% work on someone.
Generalizations are a very poor starting point toward understanding something, and if the question is too general the answers are a far sight worse than imprecise. “Women” as a concept to treat a certain way is less and less a thing as information and knowledge proliferate. If you operate on frequency A, chances are extremely high youll get someone set up to be attracted to frequency A. Youll validate that experience, and, if you liked it, seek it out again. Ride that rollercoaster if its all working out, but there is no answer to pleasing or attracting “a woman” unless the only thing you accept as a real woman is someone who is demonstrably pleased by your approach, or you live in a society where men all behave the same and so do women, or women are forced to go along with men’s decisions. In any other situation there are thousands of ways to end up entertained happy and fulfilled with your preferred attraction without dogmatic behavioral prescriptions. Most approaches work for many someones, from the oldest school chauvinism to the softest milquetoast Chalametniac with bell hooks in his pocket.
The precise question was what to do as a man about an opposite partner’s bed death. The most precise answer would be to figure out why the individual partner is uninterested or get a new partner. If your long-term partner is uninterested in helping you figure that out for yourself, decision made… putting enormous groups of people in monolithic boxes is pretty boring. Put yourself out there as you are; there’s no wrong kind of man or woman and such myriad beautiful examples of sex love and commitment of all types that a “how-to” on treating anyone because they have a dick or vagina is backward from square 1 of the question.
“Bed deaths” have numerous causes. YOUR partner’s bed death might be due to any one of those. Or not. Dont be afraid to take life as it comes without reducing it to something you believe you have mastery over. There’s way more life out there. Find what works for you and don’t extrapolate it into a maxim or walkthru for others. Just keep trying and keep being you with the people who respond to you. Never behave like something or someone else and expect yourself or anyone with you to be happy for long.
2 Likes
Is it really being addressed? How so?
Do you think having a man present in the home tends to help a girl grow into a good woman?
I don’t think there is sufficient evidence to show that this is true for the majority of cases.
I’m glad you were able to make it out safely and legally as well. Again, no one is saying that women should not be allowed to leave harmful marriages.
Yes, free and actively being disempowered to do so
As the father to a 7 year old girl who is very likely to be too pretty and well endowed for her own good, i feel i have less tools than i need to protect her. In fact, I’m pretty sure that “good girls” are shamed for not being promiscuous. It used to be (and still is) shameful for a 20 year old man to say he’s a virgin; now a 20 year old woman has negative stigma to deal with for this as well.
What role do you think feminism had in that?
No, actually it’s specifically helped people like me. Granted, people like me are the minority; a minority who are better equipped than ever to be very successful with women.
I don’t think that’s necessarily a good thing for society, though.
1 Like
I have to put the internet away and read my book, but this came out all wrong and I need to clarify. My marriage was not an abusive one. I switched from an abstract (legal marital rape) to a personal (leaving my marriage), which was stupid of me. They are separate issues/events, and I blurred them together. I’m sorry for any upset this may have caused.
I’ll answer more in the morning if there’s time. Husband returns home in a couple of hours, happily, so we’ll see.
Are there any feminists who made an impact on you? If so, which ones?
Can you explain this?
I mean, despite their individual differences, they are profoundly different from men, physically and psychologically. Schopenhauer wrote about them as if they were a race unto their own.
I am with women all day, nearly everyday. I work in healthcare (a 95% female staff and dealing with resident’s mostly female family members or caregivers), go home to a wife, speak to my mother near daily, and probably spend more time with my mother-in-law than most men do with theirs. Generalizing is reasonable to me.
My first anthro professor was a big one. A former usa women’s captain in an unlikely sport. I loved how bell hooks wrote and mentioned the author above. I think Tina Fey is one of my favorite comedic writers. I admired Angela Davis and Maya Angelou greatly as an inner city teacher. Though feminism wasn’t central to my thoughts on fixing bed death I appreciate you asking.
Yeah. We have a lot more knowledge now than in 1990, more then than 1950, and so on. Even in my short lifetime I remember not being able to grab a phone, or get online, and have access to infinite perspectives. I remember what it was like to want to know things but not easily be able to if at all. Ages ago as now people behaved varyingly (as now) according to their environment, which humans use knowledge to constantly shape and reshape. The further back in the past one looks, the easier it would be to treat a weaker woman as subordinate for a number of factors, such as economic climates necessitating gender roles based on physicality, or such as societies tending to be more accepting of women abused or viewed as property. Most intellectual revolution comes from the exchange of ideas, and with the developments in our knowledge and how we have used it to shape our world today, it is possible both for men to sincerely appreciate women in more ways than they perhaps ever could have and, at the same time many women are showing that that enhanced exchange of ideas today gives them vastly more open room to decide “what kind” of person to consider themselves. All people have become less monolithic in many ways from a standpoint of what is now possible for them, but also from a standpoint of how much information is available to them when they choose to consider others.
This made me lol. I was an only child of a single mom with four sisters, went to nursing school as one of 6 men in a class of 500. I feel you. Saintly behavior with the maams in law, and I do agree generalizing this way fits your lifestyle and those around you. I just also believe you are limitless and so is your wife, and if anything ever happened that caused you or her to question yalls so-far solid approach, you’d actually be able to access other thoughts and ideas about relationships more easily than ever before and see examples of people living them successfully. Like Buffy the Vampire Slayer said, “there’s no bad here.” Cheers.
2 Likes