Same.
Once you’re married it’s too late to figure out what roles you will play. Before you get married you see how your personalities and characters meld together.
Tren is terrible for sex side efects are too much
People are what they are. The situation just proves it to the world.
This is also illogical as there is no way to prove it.
Unfalsifiable, yes. But it is neither logical nor illogical. Logical things can be proven true. Illogical things can be proven false.
Get a thesaurus and dictionary.
I wanted to post earlier in the week in response to Anna’s @anna_5588 post in which she said the only difference between a relationship and marriage is a legal contract. I suppose this thread is now a generalized thread about sex considering what is being discussed and there are only so many ways to be discussed for spouses being at fault for dead bedrooms.
I wonder what kind of relationship we are talking about. As some might recall from previous posts in numerous threads about sex, with what I know now and have observed, I have a dim view on relationships and the “boyfriend and girlfriend” practice past one’s early twenties. Of course, I do not care if other adults have such arrangements, I would not partake in them if I were single now. If I were single, I’d be seeking a wife, even though I do not, for a variety of reasons, wholeheartedly recommend marriage to others under present conditions, even though I highly value the institution for it being a key element in advancing the West.
Perhaps my consideration for marriage is archaic at this point in time. I consider it an institution for:
- Child raising
- Resource accrual
- Forming bonds with other people
- A stake in society
- Family and political alliances
I do not consider the modern view of it being two individuals providing solely companionship and sex for one another, or that a potential mate should be considered solely for his or her individual qualities, not their families or backgrounds or statuses, which is what I think the vast majority of boyfriend-girlfriend relationships involve. This why in the future potential mates for my children will be considered regarding if they and their families are good for us. Who are these people, what do they do, and where do they come from?
Though I do not intend to be unnecessarily offensive to people, and I know some relationships are indeed serious, I’ve half-jokingly referred to the bf-gf/relationship construct as clown marriage, an arrangement that often ends and provides nothing for the future and one in which man often behaves as employee, court jester/entertainer, and pet. (Yes, I know not all such arrangements are like that). With that said, I do not think I am “better” than the next man because I am married.
Considering what I’ve stated I do not see how relationships and marriages are the same. Anna, can you clarify what sort of relationship is the same as marriage?
I look at marriage as
-
A declaration and oath before God to love, cherish and protect your (soon to be) wife/husband.
-
An agreement to follow up on that oath.
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A legal apparatus to to uphold that agreement by the laws of the state/country it was made in.
How people do that or to what extent emphasis is put on those elements is anybodys guess, and gets wide berth.
I put them in my own order of importance, but mileage may vary.
That’s solid stuff too, and I think more serious than relationships as we know them. @SkyzykS
I don’t see how any of what you said (except the legal part) has to be exclusive to marriage. I could have a boyfriend that I’m exclusive with, live with, share family time and resources with and have children with but never sign the paperwork or throw a large party
Anna, can you clarify what sort of relationship is the same as marriage?
A long term committed one as described above. many homosexual couples had arrangements like these before they could legally go to court and get married or if they are in a country that does not recognise same sex marriage. Some of them even had/have fake husbands and wives (pretty common in China)
ON the flip side, my aunt and uncle are legally divorced but very much still together as a couple because China changed laws about real estate holdings that make it more advantageous if they are “”“”“”“single”“”“”“”" Some top Russian officials are similarly “”“”““divorced””“”"
Yeah. Im a bit of an idealist.
Me & wife were in a sort of stand off with each other during a rough patch and I was venting- to the guy who was the best man at my wedding. He says “Why don’t you just leave then. If you stay and continue to be unhappy, then thats on you.” Like his solution was the only one.
I said “Remember that pastor that I said a bunch of stuff to then kissed the bride and we all had a big party? Yeah. That was an oath before god to uphold a bunch of promises. Maybe We’ll try counseling instead.”.
I’m not like a super religious God guy or anything, but I do have some beliefs which I do my best to abide by.
I do think we’d be a lot better off if people took those ceremonies and promises they made a little more serious than an often times temporary unhappiness or disagreement.
I could have a boyfriend that I’m exclusive with, live with, share family time and resources with and have children with but never sign the paperwork
And not get the tax benefits?
I don’t think there are tax benefits for dual income couples in the US unless there is a substantial earnings gap.
If one of you dies, what happens to the deceased’s money and other assets?
Or end of life/heroic measures decisions. ![]()
I’m not like a super religious God guy or anything, but I do have some beliefs which I do my best to abide by.
Very good. I don’t think one has to be religious to consider something sacred.
I do think we’d be a lot better off if people took those ceremonies and promises they made a little more serious than an often times temporary unhappiness or disagreement.
I agree. It’s not just love or constant happiness that’s going to make a marriage last over decades. I view it as a lifelong covenant so long as no one makes grave transgressions. At least that’s what I want it to be,
If one of you dies, what happens to the deceased’s money and other assets?
Or end of life/heroic measures decisions.
Trusts and end of life documents don’t require the trustee/executor to be legally family. People have legally left things to pets
Family takes precedent in those decisions.
If you’re a co-whateverer and the person is unable to speak for themself, their direct family can intervene contrary to your wishes unless the person themself has an end of life plan registered with an attorney.
even if I have legal paperwork specifying who makes those decisions?