Do you agree that men are inherently leaders in relationships?
If yes, why would that not be the case regarding fitness too?
I’ve had a few clients (all men) who wanted their wives to start training with them. I told every one of them to get a gym membership (instead of training at home) and wait for their wife’s insecurities to ramp up until they start lifting too.
You wont get the best out of a woman if she thinks you have no other options.
*before anyone gets mad about what i just said, this has only ever resulted in more active bedrooms, happier marriages, and fitter couples. Is it mean? Sure. Is it effective? Yes (and both parties seem much happier as a result).
I do, but I see micromanagement as a weak leadership stance and would categorize fitness as an individual contributor KPI outside of team goals.
Just like a corporate “physical fitness” policy can encourage activity, it won’t force it or even necessarily motivate people not already independently motivated.
Again, I’m speaking about the uninitiated masses, not a subset of people who spend lots of free time on a bodybuilding website actively learning whatever they can day in and day out.
While it’s true one partner can absolutely influence another, a man cannot lead his wife to physical fitness. She has to do that herself. Hopefully her husbands lost attraction spurs at least a little interest in doing so, but most likely it just hurts her feelings and we are now giving her the excuse of blaming him too.
I won’t say that your point is invalid, because it isn’t.
I’m just going to say that when a man has sexual options (usually by being and acting attractive) that aren’t his wife - his wife tends to perform better and put more effort into her looks.
I mean, no woman wants a man that no other women want. Preselection is sexy.
A boyfriend and girlfriend have no real investment with each other; they can walk away at any time.
Men are the gatekeepers of relationships, a woman has to earn a man’s commitment.
Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men have to earn a woman’s sex.
This arrangement works just fine, and marriage (theoretically) should not change this any, except with certain vows to stick through bad times on occasion.
But with government involvement in marriage, and traditional relationship roles, a man stands to lose a lot more than a woman if he walks away… meaning he is often penalized for exercising his right to gatekeep the relationship.
Well, there is no punishment for a woman exercising her right to gatekeep sex (not saying there should be).
So men really tend to lose in marriage; part of what keeps a woman attracted to a man is her burden of performance to continue earning his commitment.
A woman can walk away because she lost the tingles he used to give her, and still take half a man’s pay; women are incentivized to leave their husbands both legally and societally.
This could be resolved by ceasing government involvement in marriage, and dissolving divorce courts, but you’ll never see that happen as Divorce™ is a multi billion dollar industry.
“We need to put the divorce industry out of business.” ~Dr. F. Roger Devlin
“It (the divorce industry) is a business of kidnapping and extortion.” ~ Dr. Stephen Baskerville
Feminism is an agenda. Can someone honestly say Betty Friedan wrote The Feminist Mystique without an agenda?
Although anti-feminists also have an agenda, that doesn’t make their fact-finding invalid; what they find and observe are truths. And of course some have proposed political change. I mean, feminism uses state power. So those opposed to it want to use or lessen state power.
States actually get federal funding for divorces! So not only is divorce incentivized for women, the whole crew of “justice”-system vultures are in on it.
I too have an agenda: to inform and help other men. I actually have cut down on posting because one of my NY resolutions is to teach myself more tech skills to make YT videos (I haven’t made one in seven years and only did some for fun) and a blog on sexual Revolution and male matters: mental health (which in men is worsening), sex, parenting, fitness, nutrition, and TRT. Hopefully I can interview some people. It’s a project I’ve been sinfully procrastinated on. I do not care if it works out or not.
A few homeschooler friends have half-jokingly said (without me making a peep about it), “We’re just gonna have to do arranged marriage.”
There’d be a lot more time to just be a man and woman, doing man and woman things.
I probably wouldn’t have to choose between a ‘reasonable’ amount of sleep and relations.
But I also would be lacking a driving force to make me want to be better. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be better for myself; but when I look at my daughter and think about her modeling her future partner(s) after me - I feel I am not doing enough, that I’m not good enough, that I can work harder.
So while I’m sure it would be a lot more sunshine and rainbows if it were just my wife and I, I wouldn’t be who I am today without my daughter. I wouldn’t have that drive or fear of not being good enough.
IMO I don’t think it’s the wining/dining/fun. I think kids add a LOT of stress (and different stress) that widens pre-existing cracks in the relationship
Without kids, a lot of things can be easily hidden or ignored. For example, one partner might think that the other is slightly too extravagant, but with two incomes and no kids, it’s no issue. However, with kids, the non spending partner might perceive the spending of the other partner as “selfish and imprudent”, even if the spending is within budget because the money could be allocated in other ways for the sake of the kids (e.g., college fund). The same luxury purchase might result in a joking comment in one case, but a full blown fight in the other
I like the way you think. For the record, I like kids, I just don’t think I deserve them unless I have some kind of second income stream or own something that brings in income besides a career at a company.
It’s that kind of thinking that is transforming Idiocracy from comedy movie into a prophecy tbh. The more privileged an individual is, the less they seem to want to have children; this needs to be the opposite.
I do not recommend having kids as young as I had my daughter; I didn’t know who I was, how to act, where I was going, etc.
But once you have your stuff figured out, I believe you should be having children.
Not that my opinion really matters any, I’m just a stranger on the internet.