toohuman i am old an cranky next parenting question
how do you tell a 9 year old moma’s boy his mother died?
didnt have to tell his brother he was there
try being a parent while dealing with your wife dieing
[quote]Ripsaw3689 wrote:
I constantly criticize other’s parenting.
Like in a store, I’ll slowly and calmly tell them how to properly discipline their screaming child while I slowly reach for my wallet. Once they catch a glimpse of my alpha watch and the snail-like pace that I pull out my wallet, they immediately know I am a much classier person than they are and give me immediate respect. [/quote]
Well done SM, err I mean Ripsaw.
[quote]cavemansam wrote:
toohuman i am old an cranky next parenting question
how do you tell a 9 year old moma’s boy his mother died?
didnt have to tell his brother he was there
try being a parent while dealing with your wife dieing
[/quote]
Man that is tough. Sorry for your loss
[quote]TooHuman wrote:
[quote]red04 wrote:
[quote]Sure can. Getting your period feels is like…
…drinking a two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew and then running a 10K, and then being kicked in the lower abdomen…
…someone stabbing you in the stomach and twisting the knife. ThatÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??s cramps. Plus, your boobs get sore, your muscles ache, you experience nausea and headaches, and are constantly tired. Also, imagine constantly bleeding from your asshole and shoving cotton up it so you donÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??t ruin your pants…
…your emotions are placed on a keyboard, then someone is slamming their hands on the keyboard. All you want to do is sleep and sit on something soft. If you have front cramps, it feels like someone has your abdomen in a vice. If they are back cramps, it feels like someone is kicking you in the tailbone over and over…
…Like a spear running all the way through my lower abdomen. And needing to poop…
…Periods are awful, inconvenient, dirty, uncomfortable, excruciating, exhausting, and you arenÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??t supposed to talk about them, which only makes it worse because you have to live your life pretending you arenÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??t constantly sweating, farting, expelling fluids from your vagina, and in so much pain you can hardly breathe. IÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??m not exaggerating…
…feeling like a walrus: bloated, fat, shiny-faced, and I want to roll around all day…
…Like someone is grinding my insides into liquid and theyÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??re leaking uncontrollably out of my vagina…
…most of the time, itÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??s annoying, but tolerable. Then about every four months, itÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢??s really bad, like someone glued and duct-taped the inner wall of my uterus and then started violently ripping it off. And on top of that, you have diarrhea, and sometimes an upset stomach. Not to mention blood pouring out of your vagina…
…The best way to describe what a period feels like is to use a person as an example. I feel that King Joffrey from Game of Thrones is the most accurateÃ???Ã???Ã??Ã?¢?Ã???Ã???Ã??Ã?¦
I can go on if you want.[/quote]
Now, normally I’d give a person credit that this was done on purpose, to make a point about how stupid anecdata can be, but I feel like I can’t give you that credit so I’m going to ask…
Why are you railing on the appeal to authority fallacy and the failures of anecdata, while using both as the cornerstone of your attempt to refute the idea that it is indeed impossible to truly understand some things on a personal level?
You seem to have this fundamental idea that science can solve everything(I mean maybe in a utopian future it can?), but especially in the realms of human society that are heavily influenced by irrational(meant in the technical sense) things like human emotion, ‘studies’ and ‘evidence’ are going to be woefully in-adept at finding concreteness and answers. Science can at best hope to inform in such matters, not be the empirical and unequivocal until new evidence arises measuring stick that it is in purely physical fields.
[/quote]
I also linked a metadata analysis on menstruation. The problem is once I started to tease out the data on menstrual pain, intensity, secondary symptoms, etc… from the 51 listed sources, I realized it would take an inordinate amount of time to evaluate with any accuracy. At least 11 of the 51 sources listed had relevant data on these aspects of menstruation.
As a substitute I included the quotes the anecdotal references instead, but the relevant data is there in the other link.
In terms of the hierarchy of sources of knowledge, individual sense data is superseded by a larger volume of anecdotal survey data when available and anecdotal data is superseded by controlled experimentation.
“Personal level” is ambiguous. Humans know things through sense data which is a less reliable source of knowledge than empirical evidence.
This is the basis of why the scientific method exists.
This is why it’s possible to know more about being in space than anyone who has actually directly received the sense data of a negligible gravity environment.
I may never receive the direct sense data but to say that equates to having less knowledge is to invalidate empiricism as a whole. Infinitely more knowledge can be gained through empirical methods across the species than can be gathered through sense data of any 1 individual.
This is true of being a woman/man, being a parent, etc…
“You seem to have this fundamental idea that science can solve everything…”
You know I never used this argument and this is a straw man so I won’t bother replying other than to refer to the epestemological argument above.
'…but especially in the realms of human society that are heavily influenced by irrational(meant in the technical sense) things like human emotion, ‘studies’ and ‘evidence’ are going to be woefully in-adept at finding concreteness and answers. Science can at best hope to inform in such matters, not be the empirical and unequivocal until new evidence arises measuring stick that it is in purely physical fields."
This whole paragraph is filled with contradictions.
There is nothing fundamentally different in the field of anthropology, socially that makes it immune to evaluation under controlled experimentation.
Also “empirical” and “unequivocal” are always exclusive to one another because if it can’t be falsified/reversed by sufficient additional evidence it’s not empirical in the first place. That goes for ALL realms of science.
the reality is that NOBODY IN THIS OR OTHER THREADS has even ATTEMPTED to address or refute the evidence I’ve linked previously on the correlation between spanking/corporal punishment and adverse adult outcomes. They have literally wholesale reject empiricism instead.
Before I link the relevant data(yet again) on the subject let me quiz you on what the evidence available actually shows.
What has a higher rate of occurrence in available evidence:
A) A person who has never smoked being diagnosed with lung cancer.
B) A person that has NEVER been spanked or experienced corporal punishment being arrested.
??
[/quote]
You are in for a shock when you finally have kids.
thank you testy
time heals somewhat
toohuman next
statement on parenting
get phone call
i heard your son fell at work
oh shit sometimes he is 150 feet off ground
call his phone no answer
get another phone call
heard your son fell 11 floors
oh fuck call everybody
finaly get his girlfriend on phone
his phone fell 11 floors he feel 15 feet he’s okay
call him a dumdass
hang up thank god he’s okay
try being a parent
toohuman
[quote]Testy1 wrote:
[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
I came across this picture and it reminded me of this thread. I remember experiencing that when my youngest was two and she’d picked up a chocolate cake off the counter, off the plate and sat it on the living room carpet in front of the t.v. There was chocolate cake and icing smeared everywhere. There were a few deep breaths that day.[/quote]
My mom sometimes reminds me I did this in my crib once, writing on the walls and such, except there was no chocolate cake in the vicinity. Only a once full diaper.[/quote]
One of my greatest parental fears.
But there was more than once (don’t ask) I’ve had my kids poop in my mouth, so after that, on the wall seemed like a bargain.
too human
I posted 2 questions and a statement
care to respond
[quote]Ripsaw3689 wrote:
I constantly criticize other’s parenting.
Like in a store, I’ll slowly and calmly tell them how to properly discipline their screaming child while I slowly reach for my wallet. Once they catch a glimpse of my alpha watch and the snail-like pace that I pull out my wallet, they immediately know I am a much classier person than they are and give me immediate respect. [/quote]
Glad I’m not the only one. I usually give my best unsolicited parenting advice in slow motion alpha fashion with Hero by Foo Fighters playing in the background.
[quote]OldOgre wrote:
[quote]Ripsaw3689 wrote:
I constantly criticize other’s parenting.
Like in a store, I’ll slowly and calmly tell them how to properly discipline their screaming child while I slowly reach for my wallet. Once they catch a glimpse of my alpha watch and the snail-like pace that I pull out my wallet, they immediately know I am a much classier person than they are and give me immediate respect. [/quote]
Glad I’m not the only one. I usually give my best unsolicited parenting advice in slow motion alpha fashion with Hero by Foo Fighters playing in the background. [/quote]
This reeks of bush league. I keep 52-week treasury bonds on hand to pay for grocery on the date of maturity. You should see the reverence the other shoppers heap upon me.
That’s the big leagues folks.
[quote]Chushin wrote:
[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I’m a mandated reporter and have made maybe a half-dozen CPS/DCF reports in my career.
[/quote]
I had to do that twice.
Neither client (once a young girl, once a parent) was very happy about it.
[/quote]
I’ve always been able to reframe it as a positive (“things aren’t going well - maybe they can help”) so it’s been okay.
I really struggle with the mandate, though. I very often think it’s counterproductive, and if there’s any question as to the need to report I’ll err on the side of maintaining the therapeutic relationship.
[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
[quote]OldOgre wrote:
[quote]Ripsaw3689 wrote:
I constantly criticize other’s parenting.
Like in a store, I’ll slowly and calmly tell them how to properly discipline their screaming child while I slowly reach for my wallet. Once they catch a glimpse of my alpha watch and the snail-like pace that I pull out my wallet, they immediately know I am a much classier person than they are and give me immediate respect. [/quote]
Glad I’m not the only one. I usually give my best unsolicited parenting advice in slow motion alpha fashion with Hero by Foo Fighters playing in the background. [/quote]
This reeks of bush league. I keep 52-week treasury bonds on hand to pay for grocery on the date of maturity. You should see the reverence the other shoppers heap upon me.
That’s the big leagues folks. [/quote]
LMAO well played!
I have been known to voice my opinion regarding parenting issues in unsolicited fashion in the past. Never with a stranger. Only those who I care about. Didn’t go over well. It is hard to stand by and watch people making seemingly really poor decisions regarding their children. Unfortunately, anyone can be a parent. One doesn’t have to look far to see parents who are wildly immature themselves and most likely model really poor behavior to their children.
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
I have been known to voice my opinion regarding parenting issues in unsolicited fashion in the past. Never with a stranger. Only those who I care about. Didn’t go over well. It is hard to stand by and watch people making seemingly really poor decisions regarding their children. Unfortunately, anyone can be a parent. One doesn’t have to look far to see parents who are wildly immature themselves and most likely model really poor behavior to their children.[/quote]
Of course not. If you want to piss someone off as quickly as humanly possible, get between them and their kids.
I know it’s one sure fired way to get me from mild mannered to beating someones ass in no time flat.
[quote]pat wrote:
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
I have been known to voice my opinion regarding parenting issues in unsolicited fashion in the past. Never with a stranger. Only those who I care about. Didn’t go over well. It is hard to stand by and watch people making seemingly really poor decisions regarding their children. Unfortunately, anyone can be a parent. One doesn’t have to look far to see parents who are wildly immature themselves and most likely model really poor behavior to their children.[/quote]
Of course not. If you want to piss someone off as quickly as humanly possible, get between them and their kids.
I know it’s one sure fired way to get me from mild mannered to beating someones ass in no time flat.[/quote]
Naw. Not trying to get between a kid and his parents. Just trying to help by offering a solution rather than a criticism. But I didn’t offer enough information to make that clear. At any rate, I’m largely in the camp that says “mind your own business.” It’s just hard for me when it’s someone I know and care about.
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
[quote]pat wrote:
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
I have been known to voice my opinion regarding parenting issues in unsolicited fashion in the past. Never with a stranger. Only those who I care about. Didn’t go over well. It is hard to stand by and watch people making seemingly really poor decisions regarding their children. Unfortunately, anyone can be a parent. One doesn’t have to look far to see parents who are wildly immature themselves and most likely model really poor behavior to their children.[/quote]
Of course not. If you want to piss someone off as quickly as humanly possible, get between them and their kids.
I know it’s one sure fired way to get me from mild mannered to beating someones ass in no time flat.[/quote]
Naw. Not trying to get between a kid and his parents. Just trying to help by offering a solution rather than a criticism. But I didn’t offer enough information to make that clear. At any rate, I’m largely in the camp that says “mind your own business.” It’s just hard for me when it’s someone I know and care about.[/quote]
I usually am able to keep shtum by realizing I don’t actually know better than everyone/anyone else in every given situation. I’m constantly amazed at the hubris of people who think otherwise.
[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
[quote]pat wrote:
[quote]kpsnap wrote:
I have been known to voice my opinion regarding parenting issues in unsolicited fashion in the past. Never with a stranger. Only those who I care about. Didn’t go over well. It is hard to stand by and watch people making seemingly really poor decisions regarding their children. Unfortunately, anyone can be a parent. One doesn’t have to look far to see parents who are wildly immature themselves and most likely model really poor behavior to their children.[/quote]
Of course not. If you want to piss someone off as quickly as humanly possible, get between them and their kids.
I know it’s one sure fired way to get me from mild mannered to beating someones ass in no time flat.[/quote]
Naw. Not trying to get between a kid and his parents. Just trying to help by offering a solution rather than a criticism. But I didn’t offer enough information to make that clear. At any rate, I’m largely in the camp that says “mind your own business.” It’s just hard for me when it’s someone I know and care about.[/quote]
I usually am able to keep shtum by realizing I don’t actually know better than everyone/anyone else in every given situation. I’m constantly amazed at the hubris of people who think otherwise.
[/quote]
My son’s best friend since birth is a truant at 16 years old because neither of his parents is around to ensure he goes to school in the morning. I offered to let him sleep at our house on school nights to make sure he get there every day. No go with the parents. Sadly, he flunked every class last semester. If my offer means I have an out of control hubris, so be it. I’m a big believer that it takes a village. Which is entirely different than randomly criticizing some stranger’s parenting style.
K’s example had me thinking about parenting teenagers - and interacting with their teenage friends. We’ve reached a near consensus on this thread about staying out of the way, unless there’s abuse or a medical need, or we’re asked for specific advice.
BUT I’ve found that parenting teens has it’s own set of decisions about when to go talk to the other kid’s parents. Or when to speak to the kid, but not go to their parents. How you react might depend on the age of the teen, and if you have a relationship with your kid’s friends, or know their parents.
Just some food for thought. If you have younger kids, get ready. This stuff is coming. These things have happened to me, or to friends of mine.
You hear your daughter’s friend throwing up her dinner in the guest bathroom, and your daughter confirms that she thinks her friend’s got an eating disorder.
A neighbor kid comes over to your house stoned and sits down at your breakfast bar while you’re eating lunch and proceeds to talk with you while sharing your chips.
You come home early from work and find one of your kids naked in the shower with their boyfriend/girlfriend.
You find out that your 12-year-old and his/her friend have been googling topics like “naked sex” on your computer.
You find out that your kid and his friends lied about where they were and threw a beer party at a neighbor’s house while the parents were on vacation.