Telling Other People How to Parent

Off Topic
121

[quote]CLUNK wrote:
I’ve never hit my child. I don’t hit strangers that piss me off in public, so why would I strike my beloved child?
I grew up in a household where both parents were slap-happy (that’s being kind), and the worst of my siblings was the one most often beaten - the irony being that the beatings did nothing to lessen his future bad behavior.

[/quote]

I’m sorry that you were slapped around as a kid, but I’m glad that you were able to retain the kind of consistent ethical position that most parents lack and that you’re that much better a parent for it. :slight_smile:

Best Regards,

Toohuman

122

[quote]countingbeans wrote:

[quote]pat wrote:

[quote]CLUNK wrote:
I’ve never hit my child. I don’t hit strangers that piss me off in public, so why would I strike my beloved child?
I grew up in a household where both parents were slap-happy (that’s being kind), and the worst of my siblings was the one most often beaten - the irony being that the beatings did nothing to lessen his future bad behavior.

[/quote]

Some kids need it, some don’t. Depends on the kid. Some kids definitely need a proper ass whooping from time to time. Other kids don’t. You and I have kids that don’t. I can count on one hand the number I times I have spanked both my kids. And when I did, it would be one whack on the behind to get their attention.
But some kids respond best to an ass whooping. I have seen some kids and thought, “If they were my kid I would whip their ass but good.”

It seems to me the ones who need it are the ones who show no respect to authority. If they don’t respect you, they will not listen to anything you say. You make them respect you. Problems with authority seems the most appropriate case for spanking. [/quote]

We’ve never hit my son in 17 years. One time, looking back, he should have been slapped and one time I really, really wanted to, because he was (intentionally) pushing every button I have trying to get out of doing work around the house, but I’m glad I didn’t.

For the most part… He’s a very good kid and a lot like his mother, but less wild.

My daughter on the other hand… It’s only a matter of time before she gets slapped, lol, or at the very least a mouth full of dish soap. Her and my wife already go at it, and from what I hear it’s only going to get worse lol. She’s just like me, and my mouth got be beat a couple of times, and I deserved every second of it, lol. I still flinch if someone moves too fast with those wooden cooking spoons.

Funny part is, my wife is very anti-hitting. I’m indifferent to it within proper context. (I’ve seen kids get whooped and turn out fine, and kids get coddled and turn out shithouse junkies and flunkies, and everything in between.) And I doubt I’ll have to slap my daughter a single time in her life… I would be shocked if she doesn’t push my wife to the breaking point though. [/quote]

It seems like you and your wife are overall fantastic parents especially relative to the vast majority.

I really hope you and your wife work on resolving the tensions building up with your daughter instead of just waiting for the situation to escalate.
I wish you the best of luck.

123

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
I also linked a metadata analysis on menstruation.
[/quote]

You are a lost cause…

124

[quote]TooHuman wrote:

[quote]CLUNK wrote:
I’ve never hit my child. I don’t hit strangers that piss me off in public, so why would I strike my beloved child?
I grew up in a household where both parents were slap-happy (that’s being kind), and the worst of my siblings was the one most often beaten - the irony being that the beatings did nothing to lessen his future bad behavior.

[/quote]

I’m sorry that you were slapped around as a kid, but I’m glad that you were able to retain the kind of consistent ethical position that most parents lack and that you’re that much better a parent for it. :slight_smile:

Best Regards,

Toohuman[/quote]

You talking out of both sides of your mouth in this thread, there’s nothgin wrong with disciplining your child.

This is why kids act the way they do know, they do not know personal responsibility, nor do they understand the consequences of their actions.

Growing up I knew right from wrong and it didn’t take empirical data to show me that, a few swats on the ass I straightened right out.

I am not going to get in the middle of something unless I see that the child may get hurt or injured.

I know from experience when I am jacking with my horse, if he puts his ears back, he may be up to something, or he doesn’t like something I am doing.

I didn’t read that shit in a book.

125

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
the reality is that NOBODY IN THIS OR OTHER THREADS has even ATTEMPTED to address or refute the evidence I’ve linked previously on the correlation between spanking/corporal punishment and adverse adult outcomes. They have literally wholesale reject empiricism instead.
[/quote]

You are off your fucking rocker. I spent several hours going through your “evidence” in the last thread, which I linked to earlier.

Conveniently you didn’t respond in that thread or this one.

126

I read a meta-analysis on menstruation so I know what it’s like to have a period… LMFAO this site never fails to deliver.

127

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
I read a meta-analysis on menstruation so I know what it’s like to have a period… LMFAO this site never fails to deliver. [/quote]

128

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
What has a higher rate of occurrence in available evidence:
A) A person who has never smoked being diagnosed with lung cancer.
B) A person that has NEVER been spanked or experienced corporal punishment being arrested.

??

[/quote]

These two things are so vastly different they’re in different sports let alone different leagues.

129

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
the reality is that NOBODY IN THIS OR OTHER THREADS has even ATTEMPTED to address or refute the evidence I’ve linked previously on the correlation between spanking/corporal punishment and adverse adult outcomes. They have literally wholesale reject empiricism instead.
[/quote]

You are off your fucking rocker. I spent several hours going through your “evidence” in the last thread, which I linked to earlier.

Conveniently you didn’t respond in that thread or this one. [/quote]

Must have missed it, can you link the research you referenced again please?
Also the very fact that you wrote evidence in quotations is an attempt to poison the well.
Either it is actually evidence and you have contradictory evidence to falsify/rebut it or it’s “evidence” because it’s falsifiable or somehow otherwise empirically unsound in which case a syllogistic argument for why it’s empirically unsound is required.

130

[quote]TooHuman wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
the reality is that NOBODY IN THIS OR OTHER THREADS has even ATTEMPTED to address or refute the evidence I’ve linked previously on the correlation between spanking/corporal punishment and adverse adult outcomes. They have literally wholesale reject empiricism instead.
[/quote]

You are off your fucking rocker. I spent several hours going through your “evidence” in the last thread, which I linked to earlier.

Conveniently you didn’t respond in that thread or this one. [/quote]

Must have missed it, can you link the research you referenced again please?
Also the very fact that you wrote evidence in quotations is an attempt to poison the well.
Either it is actually evidence and you have contradictory evidence to falsify/rebut it or it’s “evidence” because it’s falsifiable or somehow otherwise empirically unsound in which case a syllogistic argument for why it’s empirically unsound is required.[/quote]

No thanks. I wasted enough time on it then and I already linked to it earlier in this thread. It was your “evidence” I addressed and provided counter evidence in that thread as well.

There is no “evidence” that spanking leads to criminal activity. There’s an extremely weak correlation at best.

Nothing is “required” on the internet. For example, you aren’t “required” to acknowledge a dozen posters or so think you’re wrong.

It’s hilarious for me and everyone else though.

131

I was beat daily as a kid, it fucked with me psychologically for sure, but I’ve never laid a finger on my son. I was a teacher and went through all the child psychology stuff that was required. Also, I used to work for Child Protective Services and have been through all of their training.

BUT…I still know that some kids need their ass popped from time to time.

132

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]TooHuman wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:

[quote]TooHuman wrote:
the reality is that NOBODY IN THIS OR OTHER THREADS has even ATTEMPTED to address or refute the evidence I’ve linked previously on the correlation between spanking/corporal punishment and adverse adult outcomes. They have literally wholesale reject empiricism instead.
[/quote]

You are off your fucking rocker. I spent several hours going through your “evidence” in the last thread, which I linked to earlier.

Conveniently you didn’t respond in that thread or this one. [/quote]

Must have missed it, can you link the research you referenced again please?
Also the very fact that you wrote evidence in quotations is an attempt to poison the well.
Either it is actually evidence and you have contradictory evidence to falsify/rebut it or it’s “evidence” because it’s falsifiable or somehow otherwise empirically unsound in which case a syllogistic argument for why it’s empirically unsound is required.[/quote]

No thanks. I wasted enough time on it then and I already linked to it earlier in this thread. It was your “evidence” I addressed and provided counter evidence in that thread as well.

There is no “evidence” that spanking leads to criminal activity. There’s an extremely weak correlation at best.

Nothing is “required” on the internet. For example, you aren’t “required” to acknowledge a dozen posters or so think you’re wrong.

It’s hilarious for me and everyone else though. [/quote]

WOW SO SORRY. :frowning:

I totally skipped out of that thread before the most important responses to the sources I linked.

There is a LOT of relevant and useful response that you posted and I PROMISE I will go back and respond to each point as soon as I can.

MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES.

:expressionless:

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I can’t wait…

134

TooHuman:

I think we can agree that any asshole out on the street is perfectly capable of casting judgement on other people, but it takes a truly pretentious and improvident lackwit to offer up unsolicited advice on parenting, especially when you have no experience with parenting.

I admire your courage and your insistence that you are on to something, even if it flies in the face of common sense, basic decorum and any semblance of productive social interaction. That takes real guts and a truly inflated ego.

You seem to believe that your musings on something you’ve never done have been a positive force in other peoples’ lives, but has it ever occurred to you that people are telling you “yeah, I took your advice buddy” simply to get you to…

Shut…

The…

Fuck…

Up…

about the subject of parenting?

Because that’s exactly what I would do if I worked with you or even just knew you and you gave me some fucking lecture. I would stroke your ego because I have better things to do than argue with an uninformed, inexperienced blow-hard.

To answer Bean’s post, I will echo the same basic notion that everyone else is saying. Mind your own damn business. The only time I have gotten involved with another person’s parenting was because there were children living in a house that doubled as a meth lab. And even then, I did not give any parenting advice beyond the obvious “clean yourself up, let me know what I can do to help” and giving the kids a safe place to stay for a period.

Good or bad, it is up to the parents to give their children the best shot at life. Trying to inject your opinions into such complicated and unique situations will almost certainly produce bad outcomes more often than it will produce positive outcomes.

135

[quote]ouroboro_s wrote:
I came across this picture and it reminded me of this thread. I remember experiencing that when my youngest was two and she’d picked up a chocolate cake off the counter, off the plate and sat it on the living room carpet in front of the t.v. There was chocolate cake and icing smeared everywhere. There were a few deep breaths that day.[/quote]

My mom sometimes reminds me I did this in my crib once, writing on the walls and such, except there was no chocolate cake in the vicinity. Only a once full diaper.

136

I removed a serious amount of wallpaper because there were a lot of bees on it and I figured they must have stashed their honey somewhere…

They had not !!!

Lies, it was all lies…

137

[quote]orion wrote:
I removed a serious amount of wallpaper because there were a lot of bees on it and I figured they must have stashed their honey somewhere…

They had not !!!

Lies, it was all lies…[/quote]

I think a lot of kids are natural ‘pickers’ and ‘diggers’. I remember peeling the rubber tips off a set of my moms hot roller pins. She was pissed.

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If people ask, I tell them what I think. Otherwise it’s not my watch unless it’s someone close to me and they’re expressing confusion/hurt. Then I wade in very carefully.

I’m a mandated reporter and have made maybe a half-dozen CPS/DCF reports in my career. Every single one of these was agonizing for me because of worry that I’d disrupt the therapeutic alliance I had with the family, for no good reason. But of course it’s against the law not to. In every case the parent knew in advance that I was making the report. (Actually, I take that back - I and a school social worker got a kid removed from her home, and all concerned, including the parent, were glad. That was a success. I didn’t do it lightly, though.)

I’ve never witnessed abuse in public, though I’ve certainly seen less than stellar behavior or maybe emotional abuse. I limit myself to frowns. If I saw abuse I would step in, whether parent/child or male/female violence. Or at least, I hope I would have the courage to do so.

139

I constantly criticize other’s parenting.

Like in a store, I’ll slowly and calmly tell them how to properly discipline their screaming child while I slowly reach for my wallet. Once they catch a glimpse of my alpha watch and the snail-like pace that I pull out my wallet, they immediately know I am a much classier person than they are and give me immediate respect.

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toohuman answer this
I have spanked both my sons
the oldest was arrested for weed his little brother has never been arrested
so spanking causes 50% to be arrested
Whoops
forgot to say
their Mother died when they were preteens
so which caused the outcome?
want makes you think that while a child is being raised
the only emotional issues are a spanking?