[quote]DoubleDuce wrote:
Aside from witnessing outright abuse, generally I’ve only said something if someone is complaining about some aspect of parenting to me. And generally it’s just a “this is what we do” type statement.
There are some things that I see that get me perturbed with random parents in public though. Outside of differing discipline methods, there are things that parents just plain shouldn’t do and no one would argue are bad for a kid. Things like smoking while holding an infant type stuff. In that sort of situation I’ve become a master of passive aggressiveness. I’ll stare and cough and make a show of moving away while commenting about the early stages of infant lung development to my wife loud enough they can hear. Or some such thing.
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When I grew up everybody smoked. I don’t think it’s that big a deal. It surely doesn’t demand intervention.[/quote]
I think it’s a pretty big deal when there is a newborn a foot away from where you are puffing. It is terrible for their health and there is just plain no good reason to do it other than a lazy addicted parent. Even so, I don’t intervene, I’m just a rude asshole.[/quote]
I don’t see that near the amount I did when I was a kid.
Shit, I grew up in a smoking household, and spent time in plenty of houses where people smoked indoors.
Now, it’s a rarity in my life to meet people who don’t go outside to smoke.
[quote]CLUNK wrote:
I’ve never hit my child. I don’t hit strangers that piss me off in public, so why would I strike my beloved child?
I grew up in a household where both parents were slap-happy (that’s being kind), and the worst of my siblings was the one most often beaten - the irony being that the beatings did nothing to lessen his future bad behavior.
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Some kids need it, some don’t. Depends on the kid. Some kids definitely need a proper ass whooping from time to time. Other kids don’t. You and I have kids that don’t. I can count on one hand the number I times I have spanked both my kids. And when I did, it would be one whack on the behind to get their attention.
But some kids respond best to an ass whooping. I have seen some kids and thought, “If they were my kid I would whip their ass but good.”
It seems to me the ones who need it are the ones who show no respect to authority. If they don’t respect you, they will not listen to anything you say. You make them respect you. Problems with authority seems the most appropriate case for spanking.
[quote]CLUNK wrote:
I’ve never hit my child. I don’t hit strangers that piss me off in public, so why would I strike my beloved child?
I grew up in a household where both parents were slap-happy (that’s being kind), and the worst of my siblings was the one most often beaten - the irony being that the beatings did nothing to lessen his future bad behavior.
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Some kids need it, some don’t. Depends on the kid. Some kids definitely need a proper ass whooping from time to time. Other kids don’t. You and I have kids that don’t. I can count on one hand the number I times I have spanked both my kids. And when I did, it would be one whack on the behind to get their attention.
But some kids respond best to an ass whooping. I have seen some kids and thought, “If they were my kid I would whip their ass but good.”
It seems to me the ones who need it are the ones who show no respect to authority. If they don’t respect you, they will not listen to anything you say. You make them respect you. Problems with authority seems the most appropriate case for spanking. [/quote]
We’ve never hit my son in 17 years. One time, looking back, he should have been slapped and one time I really, really wanted to, because he was (intentionally) pushing every button I have trying to get out of doing work around the house, but I’m glad I didn’t.
For the most part… He’s a very good kid and a lot like his mother, but less wild.
My daughter on the other hand… It’s only a matter of time before she gets slapped, lol, or at the very least a mouth full of dish soap. Her and my wife already go at it, and from what I hear it’s only going to get worse lol. She’s just like me, and my mouth got be beat a couple of times, and I deserved every second of it, lol. I still flinch if someone moves too fast with those wooden cooking spoons.
Funny part is, my wife is very anti-hitting. I’m indifferent to it within proper context. (I’ve seen kids get whooped and turn out fine, and kids get coddled and turn out shithouse junkies and flunkies, and everything in between.) And I doubt I’ll have to slap my daughter a single time in her life… I would be shocked if she doesn’t push my wife to the breaking point though.
I dont think you should ever tell someone how to parent
however i do offer suggestion to my sons how to handle situations that come up
when i am talking to people i work with or that i know i offer my beliefs
but someone i dont know at a store or park no way
you might find yourself in a total shit storm
If somebody was going on and on about how their kid was really fat and they couldn’t figure out why (in spite of the fact that they had cupboards full of junk & take away foods most days)…I’d say something.
If I was listening to some parent rabbit on about how it’s not safe to let kids go out and play because outside of all teh paedos etc…I’d say something.
When it comes to most other stuff, certainly, the more delicate nuances of parenthood, I’d keep my opinions to my self (unless directly asked).
I don’t know, really. The boards are what we make of them, and figured this could be a decent discussion. I, unfortunately forgot TH the zealot… [/quote]
It could be a decent discussion…
I read a rant from a foster parent once about what an impossible job that really is.
He claimed it was next to impossible to discipline these children because a lot of them were so used to getting beat up for no discernible reason that there was literally nothing you could say or do that they would perceive as punishment.
Won’t touch it. Even among my close friends and family, I keep my mouth shut. I’ve wanted to say things PLENTY of times but it’s just one of those things I’m not going to do because even if you’re 100% right, you’re going to annoy the other person and they’ll likely fight you on it or just disregard what you have to say and pull up some article on their phone and tell you that you’re wrong. I got my hands full with my own to worry about someone else’s.
Again, it’s not abuse or neglect we’re talking about as opposed to doing dumb or questionable stuff. I personally think all these iPad kids (kids who need it on trips, in the car, at home, etc.) are ridiculous and parents who allow their kids to stare at that screen instead of finding another way to occupy them suck. And I want to rant about how it’s bad for their eyes and social development. At the same time, my kid pretty much survives on snacks. Getting him to eat real food is a constant battle, but he’s always down for junk food.
So, someone could tell me “hey Mr. I hate iPads but act like I’m SO healthy…why you feeding your kid crap while you eat all this healthy stuff?” What can I say to that?
[quote]alpha_mike wrote:
Won’t touch it. Even among my close friends and family, I keep my mouth shut. I’ve wanted to say things PLENTY of times but it’s just one of those things I’m not going to do because even if you’re 100% right, you’re going to annoy the other person and they’ll likely fight you on it or just disregard what you have to say and pull up some article on their phone and tell you that you’re wrong. I got my hands full with my own to worry about someone else’s.
Again, it’s not abuse or neglect we’re talking about as opposed to doing dumb or questionable stuff. I personally think all these iPad kids (kids who need it on trips, in the car, at home, etc.) are ridiculous and parents who allow their kids to stare at that screen instead of finding another way to occupy them suck. And I want to rant about how it’s bad for their eyes and social development. At the same time, my kid pretty much survives on snacks. Getting him to eat real food is a constant battle, but he’s always down for junk food.
So, someone could tell me “hey Mr. I hate iPads but act like I’m SO healthy…why you feeding your kid crap while you eat all this healthy stuff?” What can I say to that?
So, someone could tell me “hey Mr. I hate iPads but act like I’m SO healthy…why you feeding your kid crap while you eat all this healthy stuff?” What can I say to that?
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lmao. Such is life.
All I can say is thank god for the ipad. It’s teaching her how to use electronics that are going to part of human life in America going forward, playing fruitninja & where’s my water with her is a lot of fun, and it means that my wife and I can actually have a conversation once in awhile…
There is some pretty decent educational stuff on there, and we monitor her youtube, netfix and amazon viewing.
Sometimes snuggling on the couch the last 20mins before bed and watching Scooby doo is the best 20mins of my week.
So, someone could tell me “hey Mr. I hate iPads but act like I’m SO healthy…why you feeding your kid crap while you eat all this healthy stuff?” What can I say to that?
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lmao. Such is life.
All I can say is thank god for the ipad. It’s teaching her how to use electronics that are going to part of human life in America going forward, playing fruitninja & where’s my water with her is a lot of fun, and it means that my wife and I can actually have a conversation once in awhile…
There is some pretty decent educational stuff on there, and we monitor her youtube, netfix and amazon viewing.
Sometimes snuggling on the couch the last 20mins before bed and watching Scooby doo is the best 20mins of my week. [/quote]
I know with running a campaign that I have been missing out on my father daughter time, and she just clings to me as soon as I get home until she goes to bed. Makes me feel like crap but we will be better for it if this works out.
So, someone could tell me “hey Mr. I hate iPads but act like I’m SO healthy…why you feeding your kid crap while you eat all this healthy stuff?” What can I say to that?
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lmao. Such is life.
All I can say is thank god for the ipad. It’s teaching her how to use electronics that are going to part of human life in America going forward, playing fruitninja & where’s my water with her is a lot of fun, and it means that my wife and I can actually have a conversation once in awhile…
There is some pretty decent educational stuff on there, and we monitor her youtube, netfix and amazon viewing.
Sometimes snuggling on the couch the last 20mins before bed and watching Scooby doo is the best 20mins of my week. [/quote]
My daughter was doing balloon popping games on a kindle fire at 6 months. She doesn’t get to spend a lot of time on one (and none infront of a tv) but I think exposure is necessary to her growing up in today’s world.
For truly unsolicited commentary (e.g. volunteered outside the context of an active discussion on the topic) I’d have to say abuse and/or neglect that rises to the legal threshold.
I can’t think of any other plausible situation where a reasonable, prudent adult would think it was wise or appropriate to speak up about how someone else is parenting. If someone is screaming at their kid in public in a way that detracts from my family’s ability to enjoy that public space, I may be inclined to say something.
This is not so much about their parenting as their being inconsiderate of others. Even that’s pretty bloody delicate though. The last thing I would want would be for some guy with anger issues to take his embarrassment about me speaking to him out on his kid later in private.
All in all I don’t see where you can reasonably expect your unwanted parenting advice to create a positive outcome. If someone is being a dick to their kid, I highly doubt they were just waiting for some random person to come along and set them straight.
I came across this picture and it reminded me of this thread. I remember experiencing that when my youngest was two and she’d picked up a chocolate cake off the counter, off the plate and sat it on the living room carpet in front of the t.v. There was chocolate cake and icing smeared everywhere. There were a few deep breaths that day.
[quote]Sure can. Getting your period feels is like…
…drinking a two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew and then running a 10K, and then being kicked in the lower abdomen…
…someone stabbing you in the stomach and twisting the knife. ThatÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??s cramps. Plus, your boobs get sore, your muscles ache, you experience nausea and headaches, and are constantly tired. Also, imagine constantly bleeding from your asshole and shoving cotton up it so you donÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??t ruin your pants…
…your emotions are placed on a keyboard, then someone is slamming their hands on the keyboard. All you want to do is sleep and sit on something soft. If you have front cramps, it feels like someone has your abdomen in a vice. If they are back cramps, it feels like someone is kicking you in the tailbone over and over…
…Like a spear running all the way through my lower abdomen. And needing to poop…
…Periods are awful, inconvenient, dirty, uncomfortable, excruciating, exhausting, and you arenÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??t supposed to talk about them, which only makes it worse because you have to live your life pretending you arenÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??t constantly sweating, farting, expelling fluids from your vagina, and in so much pain you can hardly breathe. IÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??m not exaggerating…
…feeling like a walrus: bloated, fat, shiny-faced, and I want to roll around all day…
…Like someone is grinding my insides into liquid and theyÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??re leaking uncontrollably out of my vagina…
…most of the time, itÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??s annoying, but tolerable. Then about every four months, itÃ???Ã??Ã?¢??s really bad, like someone glued and duct-taped the inner wall of my uterus and then started violently ripping it off. And on top of that, you have diarrhea, and sometimes an upset stomach. Not to mention blood pouring out of your vagina…
…The best way to describe what a period feels like is to use a person as an example. I feel that King Joffrey from Game of Thrones is the most accurateÃ???Ã??Ã?¢?Ã???Ã??Ã?¦
I can go on if you want.[/quote]
Now, normally I’d give a person credit that this was done on purpose, to make a point about how stupid anecdata can be, but I feel like I can’t give you that credit so I’m going to ask…
Why are you railing on the appeal to authority fallacy and the failures of anecdata, while using both as the cornerstone of your attempt to refute the idea that it is indeed impossible to truly understand some things on a personal level?
You seem to have this fundamental idea that science can solve everything(I mean maybe in a utopian future it can?), but especially in the realms of human society that are heavily influenced by irrational(meant in the technical sense) things like human emotion, ‘studies’ and ‘evidence’ are going to be woefully in-adept at finding concreteness and answers. Science can at best hope to inform in such matters, not be the empirical and unequivocal until new evidence arises measuring stick that it is in purely physical fields.
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I also linked a metadata analysis on menstruation. The problem is once I started to tease out the data on menstrual pain, intensity, secondary symptoms, etc… from the 51 listed sources, I realized it would take an inordinate amount of time to evaluate with any accuracy. At least 11 of the 51 sources listed had relevant data on these aspects of menstruation.
As a substitute I included the quotes the anecdotal references instead, but the relevant data is there in the other link.
In terms of the hierarchy of sources of knowledge, individual sense data is superseded by a larger volume of anecdotal survey data when available and anecdotal data is superseded by controlled experimentation.
“Personal level” is ambiguous. Humans know things through sense data which is a less reliable source of knowledge than empirical evidence.
This is the basis of why the scientific method exists.
This is why it’s possible to know more about being in space than anyone who has actually directly received the sense data of a negligible gravity environment.
I may never receive the direct sense data but to say that equates to having less knowledge is to invalidate empiricism as a whole. Infinitely more knowledge can be gained through empirical methods across the species than can be gathered through sense data of any 1 individual.
This is true of being a woman/man, being a parent, etc…
“You seem to have this fundamental idea that science can solve everything…”
You know I never used this argument and this is a straw man so I won’t bother replying other than to refer to the epestemological argument above.
'…but especially in the realms of human society that are heavily influenced by irrational(meant in the technical sense) things like human emotion, ‘studies’ and ‘evidence’ are going to be woefully in-adept at finding concreteness and answers. Science can at best hope to inform in such matters, not be the empirical and unequivocal until new evidence arises measuring stick that it is in purely physical fields."
This whole paragraph is filled with contradictions.
There is nothing fundamentally different in the field of anthropology, socially that makes it immune to evaluation under controlled experimentation.
Also “empirical” and “unequivocal” are always exclusive to one another because if it can’t be falsified/reversed by sufficient additional evidence it’s not empirical in the first place. That goes for ALL realms of science.
the reality is that NOBODY IN THIS OR OTHER THREADS has even ATTEMPTED to address or refute the evidence I’ve linked previously on the correlation between spanking/corporal punishment and adverse adult outcomes. They have literally wholesale reject empiricism instead.
Before I link the relevant data(yet again) on the subject let me quiz you on what the evidence available actually shows.
What has a higher rate of occurrence in available evidence:
A) A person who has never smoked being diagnosed with lung cancer.
B) A person that has NEVER been spanked or experienced corporal punishment being arrested.
[quote]jbpick86 wrote:
Toohuman, I am curious, what does it feel like to kill a man? I have never done it but surely science has an answer. [/quote]
This is a fundamental question of epistemology.
Sense data is always less reliable than available empirical evidence.
There’s nothing fundamentally different about this reality in the realm of sociology, psychology, or human behavior.
The only difference in society is that people have already excepted epistemological heirarchy to reverse eons old notions of the earth being the center of the universe or of leaches being an effective treatment of disease or even that smoking is harmless, but society hasn’t shaken off the notion that hitting your kid is an effective parenting strategy even though there’s just as much evidence as there is for the effects of smoking.
