You would be better off with Beradis’ MEtabolic Advantage book/approach and making lifestyle/diet changes for the longer term, especially since she is your fiance’, set yourself up for your life together with good eating habits, instead of trying the velocity diet approach. Just my opinion. You are going to have to make longer term diet changes anyway.
[quote]sweetlovin wrote:
TELL HER that you are finding her whining hard to deal with. I betcha, in her current state of being caught up in her “misery” she hasnt realised what effect it might be having on you.
Tell her that you are there for her, but that hearing her go on and on about how she isnt hungry,etc etc, is difficult for you given your rough transition. I am pretty sure that will get through her temporary self-absorption, and she will stop ( or decrease) the whining, and realise that she could turn things around and be supportive of you!
Try popping her bubble a bit.[/quote]
I agree with Doug and AG. I think if I was having trouble with something, exsp food/diet related and my man told me he was finding my whining hard to deal with he better get his boxing gloves ready 
j/k but, seriously I think the supportive way would get you alot more brownie points.
[quote]Leafblighter wrote:
We are now on our 5th day. I’ve lost 4lbs, she has lost a little over 5lb but everyday I come home to tears and claims that she can’t do it anymore. I spend about 30 min reassuring her and talking her into continuing on.[/quote]
This kind of blows my mind. If anything, the v-diet will help her break this emotional dependency she has on food.
Anyway, I’d recommend getting a calendar, and put a nice, big circle around day 29. Call it National Binge Day. Plan a celebration. Tell her that when day 29 comes, the diet is done, and you will personally buy her all of the McDonalds, Cheetos, and deep-fried whatever that she wants. But she’s got to make it to day 29. Then start counting down the days. Make it your own little Advent Calendar.
“I can’t do this.” Yes you can, there’s only 3 more weeks to go. “I can’t do this.” Yes you can, only 2 more weeks to go. “I can’t do this.” Yes you can, only 5 more days to go.
Hopefully, if the v-diet does what it’s supposed to do, and she sticks to it, by the time National Binge Day rolls around, she won’t want McDonalds, Cheetos, or deep-fried anything.
First off, thanks to everyone for input. I got some really great ideas and insight into her frame of mind.
By the way, there appears to be some confusion about the flavors, probably due to poor word choice on my part. I ordered Strawberry, Chocolate, and Orange in equal quantities for variety. Turns out she can’t stand the Chocolate or Orange, which was frustrating because I did have those flavors in my cabinet available for her to try before I ordered more, but she didn’t want to bother with it.
Anyway… this is how things went down last night after reading everyone’s comments:
-
I told her that if she makes it 14 days and still wants to quit, I won’t be pissed, but I hope that she chooses to continue at that point.
-
I reminded her how excited she’ll be when she sees all of her family at Thanksgiving if she looks great from following this diet all the way through.
-
I told her we can buy some diet Orange Soda/extracts/etc to help make the shakes tastier.
-
I offered to buy her a new dress for Thanksgiving if she follows the diet all the way through.
She seemed relieved about the 14 day escape option and the stuff to help improve the taste, but told me she could care less about the dress and will definitely be quitting at 14 days. I didn’t sweat it. Like some people have said, you can’t force somebody to do something they don’t want to do. I also suspect the shorter term goal helps make it easier on her mentally and she’ll want to continue on at that point anyway.
So I get an e-mail from her today telling me she feels great (this is day 6, btw) and she thinks she’s going to be able to make it the whole 28 days.
Oh and suddenly she wants that dress
Thanks for your help guys and gals. Hopefully it’s downhill from here.
was she on the rag before? :-p
Good work though, you inspired her to make improvements with yourself. Good luck the rest of the way.
[quote]Leafblighter wrote:
First off, thanks to everyone for input. I got some really great ideas and insight into her frame of mind.
By the way, there appears to be some confusion about the flavors, probably due to poor word choice on my part. I ordered Strawberry, Chocolate, and Orange in equal quantities for variety. Turns out she can’t stand the Chocolate or Orange, which was frustrating because I did have those flavors in my cabinet available for her to try before I ordered more, but she didn’t want to bother with it.
Anyway… this is how things went down last night after reading everyone’s comments:
-
I told her that if she makes it 14 days and still wants to quit, I won’t be pissed, but I hope that she chooses to continue at that point.
-
I reminded her how excited she’ll be when she sees all of her family at Thanksgiving if she looks great from following this diet all the way through.
-
I told her we can buy some diet Orange Soda/extracts/etc to help make the shakes tastier.
-
I offered to buy her a new dress for Thanksgiving if she follows the diet all the way through.
She seemed relieved about the 14 day escape option and the stuff to help improve the taste, but told me she could care less about the dress and will definitely be quitting at 14 days. I didn’t sweat it. Like some people have said, you can’t force somebody to do something they don’t want to do. I also suspect the shorter term goal helps make it easier on her mentally and she’ll want to continue on at that point anyway.
So I get an e-mail from her today telling me she feels great (this is day 6, btw) and she thinks she’s going to be able to make it the whole 28 days.
Oh and suddenly she wants that dress
Thanks for your help guys and gals. Hopefully it’s downhill from here.[/quote]
Man, big props to you. You rocked the shit out of this situation and I applaud you.
If you’re like me, allowing her to quit just wasn’t in the cards, was it? She commited, the money was spent, you’re doing your part, there’s no way you’re giving up, and you just know how great she’s going to feel about it when the month is up. But, rather than pitching a fit, getting angry and doing useless shit, you maned up like crazy and handled this delicately. Big high five.
My wife has also started to get more serious about weight loss and fitness, it’s not easy. I didn’t realize it was going to be a full time job either. It is even more difficult because I am trying to put on weight, and she is trying to lose it.
Your post encouraged me, thanks.
DAy 7 for me and my wife, she weighed in with 7 pounds lost and totally excited now…she complained a little at first but soon as she saw that she went over and fixed herself a shake…glad it was that easy.
Read Shug’s Diet log he’s got some really good shake add in’s that would help, although I think he uses alot of vanilla.
Minute Maid Light was one of them that would work well with Strawberry. May seem gross at first, but I use alot of different orange juice/fruit mixes that work well with Strawberry. Also ice in the blender with your shakes almost seems like ice cream that really helps with women!!!
I did a very similar diet last summer with excellent results. It was a grueling experience at times. I would’nt recommend trying to “push” anyone into doing it with you, or to continue doing it with you if they give up. Something like this has to be a self-made decision. There could be some resentment.
It sounds like she agreed to something that she didn’t completely understand, but you are ultimately responsible because you are the one who did all the planning/ research. Hopefully it can be a learning experience for the both of you. Glad you made this far with her
Also thats one thing that this diet does is break you of bad habits, weird to say but some foods will make you go through a drug like withdrawl!! Glad to see you and her made it through that hump, good luck with the rest of the diet. You Can Do It!!!
Nice work! I did the Cheater’s Diet last spring and my boyfriend’s support helped me get through each evening. Had he gotten frustrated with me or become indifferent, I might have lost it.
When she breaks down, have her explain why she’s on the diet and make it about her and not what you think or want or are doing with your diet. She needs to believe that she’s doing it for herself. Do whatever you can to continue to be supportive.
This might not be the appropriate forum for this comment, and I’m not trying to be combative. But doesn’t this reek of coddling? Of treating one’s fiance like a child?
Don’t get me wrong… if this works for the OP and he’s happy with the way things are, good for him. I am just amazed that fully grown human beings require (require) someone else to hold their hands through a diet. Not cancer or death or even unemployment… a diet.
I’ll be quiet now.