So... I'm Depressed

Off Topic
61

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:

[quote]TD54 wrote:

[quote]Deorum wrote:

I had a talk with a friend of mine who is “depressed”. What I learned from him is that he doesn’t love himself… He was given everything in life… He has never seen some of the things in this world that will make many men weak in the stomach… He has no grounded perspective on what is depressing… All that I could get out of him is that he does not love himself and he doesn’t know why. What I recommended to him was taking a walk in an impoverished town with me and just simply NOT dying(as he fears he would lol). Maybe breathing in the air down there will help him ground his perspective in life better… Shock therapy? Anyway I’m officially rambling… I don’t know but I wish you success in conquering your mental struggle, you have my will on your side.

[/quote]

A lot of people have commented on or given the advice of “suck it up you have it way better than blah blah.” I really don’t think this works or will even get close to fixing his or others problem of depression. I don’t have much of a reason why, because i have no training or degree in this area, I just don’t think it works, at all. My 2 cents[/quote]

I have plenty of personal experience with this- probably more than most, and most of it stems from going to too many funerals with a strong amount of prolonged substance abuse mixed in.

And what I can tell you is that until I really sat there and began to understand that 1) NOBODY besides yourself can pull you out of this and 2) This life is too short and too beautiful to be weighed down with such horrific thoughts and feelings… you’re fucked.

Like everything else in life, happiness and peace don’t come for free and they don’t come easy. You gotta work at it, you gotta put your head down and fight through the shit, and push the truly negative thoughts out of your mind. You’ve got to whip it, because nobody will do it for you, and even if they did, you’d slide right back into it when something went wrong.

I’m sure the OP is a good guy who’s hit a rough spot, but in my humble opinion, coddling somebody don’t make them wake up to what they have- it makes them think that their thoughts are rational and justified when in reality, they’ll look back in 20 years and say “What the fuck was I thinking being so upset about that?”

I work for a newspaper. All day I write about people who have real problems, who have cancer and leukemia but are still trying to have professional fights, who are still trying to run marathons, who are still trying to live a normal life even though they’ve lost nearly everything, including their health. And the funniest part of it- the people with REAL problems, with SERIOUS issues, don’t complain, and they don’t want your pity. They simply live, and realize that, like Kerouac said, life is precious and every moment is holy.

So man the fuck up and realize how important your life is to the people around you, to your family, to your friends, to your peoples, and cut this crybaby bullshit out.
[/quote]

This.

62

i disgree with the crybaby stuff … that’s just ignorance on the subject of depression and anxiety

63

The truth of the matter is no one can truly comprehend mental illness unless you have gone through it. If you had or have a loved one that is going through it, you still cant understand it. Having been diagnosed with mental illnesses and emotional issues throughout mylife as well as making unfortunate trips to a psych ward, this crybaby talk is nonsense.

I thank my wife for giving me the strength to live and quite frankly saving my life and sticking by me when no one would or cared too. The uncontrollable nature of emotions and true dread sometimes felt with emotional illness CANNOT Be explained until lived through. The actual feeling of cutting yourself or contemplating suicide to get rid of the pain inside cannot be quelled by telling someone to MTFU and stop being a crybaby.

FTR I did not have much growing up by my family gave me all the love and attention any child could ask for HOWEVER I still couldnt control my irrational impulses and thoughts which destroyed much of my childhood, again its just not that simple as growing a pair, I have a tremendous set of balls and still was almost destroyed by mental illness…some of the most respected people in all facets of life and even teh TNation have also gone through it, and I would have no problem calling them stand up men and women.

64

I do have a problem with the OP basically asking us how to “off oneself” that is irresponsible and totally destroys any credibility I have for him or her.

65

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
I do have a problem with the OP basically asking us how to “off oneself” that is irresponsible and totally destroys any credibility I have for him or her.[/quote]

I think OP was just doing that … as a joke to lighten the mood?

66

I here ya, but that aint funny.

67

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]Ct. Rockula wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
^ Good call Rock. You make me proud and hopefull for our youth of today. [/quote]

Well thank you, stupid old man. I do aspire to become a mental health professional at some point…in some capacity.

U;m just always shocked that when threads like these pop up no one ever refers the guy/girl to trained pros.

[/quote]

Because young one, most young people think they KNOW it all. :P[/quote]

But…Iron Dwatf and Angry Chicken are like a million years old. lol

[/quote]

Hahahahahahahaha okay you got me. Asshole. [/quote]

Outsmarted by a 21 year old…God help you when the rest of T-Nation’s old and pissed off crowd gets wind of this.

God help you.[/quote]

They’re old and will forget by tomorrow. [/quote]

Once its typed, this shit is up here forever.

Rockula 2 DJHT 0[/quote]

Wait, wait, wait. After 14 years of college I can at least count.

Rockula 1 DJHT 0 (for now)

Glitter boy. :stuck_out_tongue:

68

Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Go to the library you spend so much time in , pick up Viktor E. Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning and read it. It might not make you feel better but it will give you things to think about other than your own problems. Stay busy pursuing a goal. There’s always hope.

69

OP, if you are seriously suicidally depressed you need way more help than you’ll find on the internet. If you are looking to reach out to other human beings and get some of this shit off your chest, great reach out. However if this is a deep persistent feeling of hopelessness with sincere desire to end your own life, you really need to see somebody asap.

I think many of us go through a period of of disillusionment when we get out into the world and realize that we’re not as big a deal as we thought. For some of us the emptiness that follows that realization hits really fucking hard. However even though others may have gone through similar things, your feelings are your own to carry and it can get lonely as hell inside your own head. I hear you man.

Some things you can do for yourself: keep moving physically if you are able. Force yourself to go for a walk, train do whatever even if you don’t want to. Clean up your diet. Get off drugs and alcohol. Find some inspirational shit to read/watch to get some positive messages going in. Keep yourself extra clean and well groomed. Be around people.

Take a fight class; boxing, judo whatever (this was really good for me). If you are too deeply depressed to be able do any of these things, you need help, now. However if you can force yourself to get out there, it may help you. Focus on shit you can directly control. This is generic advice and you need to see a professional, but these are things you can do on your own if you are well enough to do so. Just my opinion man. All the best.

70

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
The truth of the matter is no one can truly comprehend mental illness unless you have gone through it. If you had or have a loved one that is going through it, you still cant understand it. Having been diagnosed with mental illnesses and emotional issues throughout mylife as well as making unfortunate trips to a psych ward, this crybaby talk is nonsense.

I thank my wife for giving me the strength to live and quite frankly saving my life and sticking by me when no one would or cared too. The uncontrollable nature of emotions and true dread sometimes felt with emotional illness CANNOT Be explained until lived through. The actual feeling of cutting yourself or contemplating suicide to get rid of the pain inside cannot be quelled by telling someone to MTFU and stop being a crybaby.

FTR I did not have much growing up by my family gave me all the love and attention any child could ask for HOWEVER I still couldnt control my irrational impulses and thoughts which destroyed much of my childhood, again its just not that simple as growing a pair, I have a tremendous set of balls and still was almost destroyed by mental illness…some of the most respected people in all facets of life and even teh TNation have also gone through it, and I would have no problem calling them stand up men and women.[/quote]

Usually when I try to break it down for someone, I use the metaphor of a migraine (bear with me).

If you have never had a migraine before you will have zero compassion for a person who has one. “Stop whining over a headache. Take some fucking excedrin and get to work”.

However, if you have had a migraine you know about the pain, the sensitivity to light, the nausea, how it consumes every part of your body.

Unfortunately, people are prone to fits of hyperbole so soon everyone with a headache is calling it a migraine. You start to resent the people who use the migraine line to get out of things because it belittles your very real struggle. You start hearing things like, “That’s just an excuse. I’ve had migraines and they aren’t that bad”.

71

Depression is not self-pity.
Depression will not go away if you “try harder, man up, snap out of it, or keep a global perspective.”
Depression is not situational.
Depression is a medical illness caused by imbalances in neurotransmitters that manifests in disordered thinking.
Disordered thinking generates feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, anger or agitation that prevent you from living your “normal” life.
These thoughts and feelings, over time, cause you to do bad things to yourself.

Depression is curable.

Get professional help immediately, or I’ll give you a good beating.

72

[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
The truth of the matter is no one can truly comprehend mental illness unless you have gone through it. If you had or have a loved one that is going through it, you still cant understand it. Having been diagnosed with mental illnesses and emotional issues throughout mylife as well as making unfortunate trips to a psych ward, this crybaby talk is nonsense.

I thank my wife for giving me the strength to live and quite frankly saving my life and sticking by me when no one would or cared too. The uncontrollable nature of emotions and true dread sometimes felt with emotional illness CANNOT Be explained until lived through. The actual feeling of cutting yourself or contemplating suicide to get rid of the pain inside cannot be quelled by telling someone to MTFU and stop being a crybaby.

FTR I did not have much growing up by my family gave me all the love and attention any child could ask for HOWEVER I still couldnt control my irrational impulses and thoughts which destroyed much of my childhood, again its just not that simple as growing a pair, I have a tremendous set of balls and still was almost destroyed by mental illness…some of the most respected people in all facets of life and even teh TNation have also gone through it, and I would have no problem calling them stand up men and women.[/quote]

Usually when I try to break it down for someone, I use the metaphor of a migraine (bear with me).

If you have never had a migraine before you will have zero compassion for a person who has one. “Stop whining over a headache. Take some fucking excedrin and get to work”.

However, if you have had a migraine you know about the pain, the sensitivity to light, the nausea, how it consumes every part of your body.

Unfortunately, people are prone to fits of hyperbole so soon everyone with a headache is calling it a migraine. You start to resent the people who use the migraine line to get out of things because it belittles your very real struggle. You start hearing things like, “That’s just an excuse. I’ve had migraines and they aren’t that bad”. [/quote]

That was probably the best analogy I have ever read or heard with concerns to depression…Im letting you know right now Ill give you credit…but that will be my pocket response whenever a discussion like this comes up…awesome SP.

I have had one migraine in my life and to compare it to a headache is like comparing a Lion to a Tabby… no comparison.

There is a HUGE difference in feeling sad or blue and Major or Clinical Depression. There is also difference in Depression caused by external and internal variables.

73

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Depression is not self-pity.
Depression will not go away if you “try harder, man up, snap out of it, or keep a global perspective.”
Depression is not situational.
Depression is a medical illness caused by imbalances in neurotransmitters that manifests in disordered thinking.
Disordered thinking generates feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, anger or agitation that prevent you from living your “normal” life.
These thoughts and feelings, over time, cause you to do bad things to yourself.

Depression is curable.

Get professional help immediately, or I’ll give you a good beating.
[/quote]

THIS. Goddammit, this.

I find it irritating when people try to use logical arguments to help with disordered thinking - you cant… thats what makes it disordered thinking.

Depression doesnt deal in logic. “You have it better than most people!” isn’t going to help anyone going through depression. But helping the depressed person isn’t the point there, the point is to make the person giving the advice feel better.

Funnily enough, those same “hardasses” who use the “Man up, crybaby!” approach either have been or end up being depressed at one point or another. And when they are, they somehow cant logic themselves out of it.

74

[quote]MattyXL wrote:

[quote]SmilingPolitely wrote:

[quote]MattyXL wrote:
The truth of the matter is no one can truly comprehend mental illness unless you have gone through it. If you had or have a loved one that is going through it, you still cant understand it. Having been diagnosed with mental illnesses and emotional issues throughout mylife as well as making unfortunate trips to a psych ward, this crybaby talk is nonsense.

I thank my wife for giving me the strength to live and quite frankly saving my life and sticking by me when no one would or cared too. The uncontrollable nature of emotions and true dread sometimes felt with emotional illness CANNOT Be explained until lived through. The actual feeling of cutting yourself or contemplating suicide to get rid of the pain inside cannot be quelled by telling someone to MTFU and stop being a crybaby.

FTR I did not have much growing up by my family gave me all the love and attention any child could ask for HOWEVER I still couldnt control my irrational impulses and thoughts which destroyed much of my childhood, again its just not that simple as growing a pair, I have a tremendous set of balls and still was almost destroyed by mental illness…some of the most respected people in all facets of life and even teh TNation have also gone through it, and I would have no problem calling them stand up men and women.[/quote]

Usually when I try to break it down for someone, I use the metaphor of a migraine (bear with me).

If you have never had a migraine before you will have zero compassion for a person who has one. “Stop whining over a headache. Take some fucking excedrin and get to work”.

However, if you have had a migraine you know about the pain, the sensitivity to light, the nausea, how it consumes every part of your body.

Unfortunately, people are prone to fits of hyperbole so soon everyone with a headache is calling it a migraine. You start to resent the people who use the migraine line to get out of things because it belittles your very real struggle. You start hearing things like, “That’s just an excuse. I’ve had migraines and they aren’t that bad”. [/quote]

That was probably the best analogy I have ever read or heard with concerns to depression…Im letting you know right now Ill give you credit…but that will be my pocket response whenever a discussion like this comes up…awesome SP.

I have had one migraine in my life and to compare it to a headache is like comparing a Lion to a Tabby… no comparison.

There is a HUGE difference in feeling sad or blue and Major or Clinical Depression. There is also difference in Depression caused by external and internal variables.
[/quote]

Thanks Matty.

Don’t worry about giving me proper credit, though. I don’t think saying, “some chick who posts a lot of pics of her ass on a lifting forum told me this” adds much credibility to the argument.

If it helps someone out, I’m happy to forgo the fame and glory.

75

[quote]CappedAndPlanIt wrote:

Funnily enough, those same “hardasses” who use the “Man up, crybaby!” approach either have been or end up being depressed at one point or another. And when they are, they somehow cant logic themselves out of it.[/quote]

Uhh… I did. That’s why i was saying what i said.

76

Don’t worry about giving me proper credit, though. I don’t think saying, “some chick who posts a lot of pics of her ass on a lifting forum told me this” adds much credibility to the argument.

If it helps someone out, I’m happy to forgo the fame and glory.[/quote]

Well if you put it that waY!

77

Hey person I dont know!

As someone in grad school right now, I also feel like WTF am I doing here getting paid less than I would make waiting tables and only to come out with a title and some debt.

The thing is, if you’re over half way, you’re kind of at the hardest part. It’s a fucking marathon… it’s always 2/3 - 3/4 of the way when it sucks the MOST.

Things I can recommend to you (that have worked for me):

  1. get good roommates to distract you from everyday boringness
  2. get a dog or some kind of a pet - even a gecko. I had one during my master’s and honestly sometimes, knowing I’d have to go home and feed it crickets was the only reason I had to leave the fucking lab.
  3. spend more time with people who make you feel special. If your friends arent helping, get new ones.
  4. focus on getting through… realize that what you’re doing IS fucking hard, and even though you’re not at the top of the class who the fuck cares, you already know it’s all about who you know when you’re looking for jobs.
  5. realize while money is nice it only creates an illusion of happiness so dont feel bad because you dont have any right now.
  6. challenge yourself to learning something completely different
  7. volunteer/teach what you already know. I bet a lot of kids could learn stuff from you with the education you already have.
  8. be proactive about feeling better

It’s March, I dont know where you live, but in most parts of the northern hemisphere, the weather sucks right now, so remember summer is coming and summer always makes things better.

78

[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
Depression is not self-pity.
Depression will not go away if you “try harder, man up, snap out of it, or keep a global perspective.”
Depression is not situational.
Depression is a medical illness caused by imbalances in neurotransmitters that manifests in disordered thinking.
Disordered thinking generates feelings of sadness, hopelessness, worthlessness, anger or agitation that prevent you from living your “normal” life.
These thoughts and feelings, over time, cause you to do bad things to yourself.

Depression is curable.

Get professional help immediately, or I’ll give you a good beating.
[/quote]

This is well-put. Also, if you have another condition (ADD) which is inhibiting your success at obtaining the life you envisioned for yourself, it’s probably time to seek help for that as well. Drugs aren’t always bad.

79

She forgot #10, which is a German remedy for depression:

Wear python boots and kick stop signs while drunk.

80

neelydan has three things to contribute:

first, a poem for the OP and everyone else who truly understands what it is to be depressed - a special dedication to those of the opinion that having fucking internet access is magical guard against being depressed:

listening to the radio at 1:35am - Charles Bukowski

i switch the station
a man plays the piano in grand fashion

somewhere else
there are nice homes
on the ocean shore
where you can
take your drink
out on the veranda
and
stand at ease and
watch the waves
listen to the waves
crashing in the dark
and yet
at the same time
you can fee crappy there
too -

just like me now
having a dog fight
fighting for my life
within these 4 walls
20 miles inland.

Secondly:

We all have our crosses to bear. You’re not alone.

Lastly:

If anyone posting here, even on a subconcious level, has taken some sort of rah rah badass approach to this with the hopes of scoring points amongst other posters, you’re going to rot one day. Enjoy that.

Depression, true depression, colours everything grey. It infects every part of you. It’s a thick, black cloud that completely wraps itself around you like a fucking boa constrictor. It’s relentless and it is plain easy to see how not living anymore would be more appealing.

Thing is, life IS worth living.

Life is worth living.