So... I'm Depressed

Off Topic
41

I have a hard time reigning myself in when it comes to this subject, because in my eyes suicide is the most selfish act you can commit, and unless it’s done for a damned good reason- i.e. terminal illness, etc. you’re most likely being a pussy about your situation in life.

The fact that you have a computer that has the internet that allows you to post your shit on a website immediately makes you better off than like at least 2 billion people who are living off a dollar a day or so.

But being as I don’t want to hurt your fragile feelings, go see a fucking therapist.

42

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
I have a hard time reigning myself in when it comes to this subject, because in my eyes suicide is the most selfish act you can commit, and unless it’s done for a damned good reason- i.e. terminal illness, etc. you’re most likely being a pussy about your situation in life.

The fact that you have a computer that has the internet that allows you to post your shit on a website immediately makes you better off than like at least 2 billion people who are living off a dollar a day or so.

But being as I don’t want to hurt your fragile feelings, go see a fucking therapist. [/quote]

It’s really hard to comment on it unless you have really been seriously depressed before. It’s easy for someone to say stuff like that if you can’t relate to the feeling. There is some type of chemical inbalance going on in his brain. I’ve never wanted to commit suicide, but i was clinically depressed.

They say someone is more likely to commit suicide who is more well off than someone who doesn’t have much at all. When I was younger I had a friend who jumped off the Coronado Bridge here in San Diego to his death who seemed like he had everything to live for. The fact that the OP has said he is thinking of it is a cry for help and I hope he gets it.

43

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
I have a hard time reigning myself in when it comes to this subject, because in my eyes suicide is the most selfish act you can commit, and unless it’s done for a damned good reason- i.e. terminal illness, etc. you’re most likely being a pussy about your situation in life.

The fact that you have a computer that has the internet that allows you to post your shit on a website immediately makes you better off than like at least 2 billion people who are living off a dollar a day or so.

But being as I don’t want to hurt your fragile feelings, go see a fucking therapist. [/quote]

FIGHTINGIRISH FOR PRESIDENT!!!

44

[quote]Fiction wrote:
For the first time, in law school, I set my mind on a goal that I really, deeply wanted to achieve. And I still failed. Not only did I fail, but I don’t even think, deep down, I really tried.[/quote]

You are your own worst enemy. No you did not fucking try goddammit. Anything the human mind truly tries at, it accomplishes. Rethink your failure, you did not try - next time you will try harder. You will succeed.

Of course you could give up, you could go out spend whatever money you have at hand on dope and off yourself calmly, easily, and painlessly. But what is that going to do? You’ll be dead, but what next? Where ever that takes you, will you run there too? Will that make you succeed? I think you want to win but you are stuck with a mental block… For some reason you are sabotaging yourself, I do not know why but it would seem that you do not like yourself any more. Why? You should love yourself, indefinitely… I hope I’m not further depressing…

I had a talk with a friend of mine who is “depressed”. What I learned from him is that he doesn’t love himself… He was given everything in life… He has never seen some of the things in this world that will make many men weak in the stomach… He has no grounded perspective on what is depressing… All that I could get out of him is that he does not love himself and he doesn’t know why. What I recommended to him was taking a walk in an impoverished town with me and just simply NOT dying(as he fears he would lol). Maybe breathing in the air down there will help him ground his perspective in life better… Shock therapy? Anyway I’m officially rambling… I don’t know but I wish you success in conquering your mental struggle, you have my will on your side.

45

[quote]strungoutboy21 wrote:

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
I have a hard time reigning myself in when it comes to this subject, because in my eyes suicide is the most selfish act you can commit, and unless it’s done for a damned good reason- i.e. terminal illness, etc. you’re most likely being a pussy about your situation in life.

The fact that you have a computer that has the internet that allows you to post your shit on a website immediately makes you better off than like at least 2 billion people who are living off a dollar a day or so.

But being as I don’t want to hurt your fragile feelings, go see a fucking therapist. [/quote]

It’s really hard to comment on it unless you have really been seriously depressed before. It’s easy for someone to say stuff like that if you can’t relate to the feeling. There is some type of chemical inbalance going on in his brain. I’ve never wanted to commit suicide, but i was clinically depressed.

They say someone is more likely to commit suicide who is more well off than someone who doesn’t have much at all. When I was younger I had a friend who jumped off the Coronado Bridge here in San Diego to his death who seemed like he had everything to live for. The fact that the OP has said he is thinking of it is a cry for help and I hope he gets it.[/quote]

You’ve got it figured out.

I’ve always said that one of the most unfortunate things about our time on earth is that we only get to experience one body, one mind, and one life. That is sad because we will never be able to truly understand where others are coming from. We can look at other peoples outer situations and understand them, as fighting irish has done, but we will never be able to understand what is going on inside the OP’s head. As i said in my other post, whatever the OP is feeling is real to him, and that’s all that matters.

46

Know what I love? When internet hardasses attack people who are obviously emotionally vulnerable.

To the OP - good luck, man. Take the good advice you got here, ignore the jackasses, and get help from a trained professional.

47

[quote]Deorum wrote:

I had a talk with a friend of mine who is “depressed”. What I learned from him is that he doesn’t love himself… He was given everything in life… He has never seen some of the things in this world that will make many men weak in the stomach… He has no grounded perspective on what is depressing… All that I could get out of him is that he does not love himself and he doesn’t know why. What I recommended to him was taking a walk in an impoverished town with me and just simply NOT dying(as he fears he would lol). Maybe breathing in the air down there will help him ground his perspective in life better… Shock therapy? Anyway I’m officially rambling… I don’t know but I wish you success in conquering your mental struggle, you have my will on your side.

[/quote]

A lot of people have commented on or given the advice of “suck it up you have it way better than blah blah.” I really don’t think this works or will even get close to fixing his or others problem of depression. I don’t have much of a reason why, because i have no training or degree in this area, I just don’t think it works, at all. My 2 cents

48

[quote]strungoutboy21 wrote:

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
I have a hard time reigning myself in when it comes to this subject, because in my eyes suicide is the most selfish act you can commit, and unless it’s done for a damned good reason- i.e. terminal illness, etc. you’re most likely being a pussy about your situation in life.

The fact that you have a computer that has the internet that allows you to post your shit on a website immediately makes you better off than like at least 2 billion people who are living off a dollar a day or so.

But being as I don’t want to hurt your fragile feelings, go see a fucking therapist. [/quote]

It’s really hard to comment on it unless you have really been seriously depressed before. It’s easy for someone to say stuff like that if you can’t relate to the feeling. There is some type of chemical inbalance going on in his brain. I’ve never wanted to commit suicide, but i was clinically depressed.

They say someone is more likely to commit suicide who is more well off than someone who doesn’t have much at all. When I was younger I had a friend who jumped off the Coronado Bridge here in San Diego to his death who seemed like he had everything to live for. The fact that the OP has said he is thinking of it is a cry for help and I hope he gets it.[/quote]

Well said. I’ve had some hard times and was like a rock but yet there were times where everything falls perfectly into place and there isn’t a thing that could make life more perfect yet depression inexplicably took over. I can’t explain it but I am not particularly weak willed or prone to self-pity or being a pussy :stuck_out_tongue: and I would never ever admit to depression when it is happening.

But having experienced it when it comes around I know how to think/act/will myself out of it before it takes over. There is no sense trying to make sense of it through introspection though, because it just doesn’t make sense.

Interesting thing I learned recently (that is may or may not be true–this is just how it was told to me). My cat had this thing where the vet thought his bladder was getting inflamed and it apparently is an issue of nerve inflammation. The vet prescribed a medication that is typically used for treating depression in humans. He explained that it works by treating the nerve inflammation that is similar to how it works for depression. Not just any anti-depressant works however, because other anti-depressants don’t treat nerve inflammation. He said his father had a similar condition and was successfully treated with this drug too. So…maybe some fish oil? :slight_smile:

The treatment never did work for my cat but the vet says it has for maybe half the cats he’s seen with this problem.

49

[quote]TD54 wrote:

[quote]Deorum wrote:

I had a talk with a friend of mine who is “depressed”. What I learned from him is that he doesn’t love himself… He was given everything in life… He has never seen some of the things in this world that will make many men weak in the stomach… He has no grounded perspective on what is depressing… All that I could get out of him is that he does not love himself and he doesn’t know why. What I recommended to him was taking a walk in an impoverished town with me and just simply NOT dying(as he fears he would lol). Maybe breathing in the air down there will help him ground his perspective in life better… Shock therapy? Anyway I’m officially rambling… I don’t know but I wish you success in conquering your mental struggle, you have my will on your side.

[/quote]

A lot of people have commented on or given the advice of “suck it up you have it way better than blah blah.” I really don’t think this works or will even get close to fixing his or others problem of depression. I don’t have much of a reason why, because i have no training or degree in this area, I just don’t think it works, at all. My 2 cents[/quote]

That was not my intention. I want to show him things in this world that truly are depressing. I want to show him death, starvation, addiction, poverty - things his mind does not yet know, things he has been sheltered from. Shock therapy as I tentatively called it. I would NEVER tell my friend to “suck it up” if he was truly depressed lmfao. That would be a sick thing to do or say. I agree I have not seen a case where that has worked.

50

[quote]TD54 wrote:

[quote]Deorum wrote:

I had a talk with a friend of mine who is “depressed”. What I learned from him is that he doesn’t love himself… He was given everything in life… He has never seen some of the things in this world that will make many men weak in the stomach… He has no grounded perspective on what is depressing… All that I could get out of him is that he does not love himself and he doesn’t know why. What I recommended to him was taking a walk in an impoverished town with me and just simply NOT dying(as he fears he would lol). Maybe breathing in the air down there will help him ground his perspective in life better… Shock therapy? Anyway I’m officially rambling… I don’t know but I wish you success in conquering your mental struggle, you have my will on your side.

[/quote]

A lot of people have commented on or given the advice of “suck it up you have it way better than blah blah.” I really don’t think this works or will even get close to fixing his or others problem of depression. I don’t have much of a reason why, because i have no training or degree in this area, I just don’t think it works, at all. My 2 cents[/quote]

I have plenty of personal experience with this- probably more than most, and most of it stems from going to too many funerals with a strong amount of prolonged substance abuse mixed in.

And what I can tell you is that until I really sat there and began to understand that 1) NOBODY besides yourself can pull you out of this and 2) This life is too short and too beautiful to be weighed down with such horrific thoughts and feelings… you’re fucked.

Like everything else in life, happiness and peace don’t come for free and they don’t come easy. You gotta work at it, you gotta put your head down and fight through the shit, and push the truly negative thoughts out of your mind. You’ve got to whip it, because nobody will do it for you, and even if they did, you’d slide right back into it when something went wrong.

I’m sure the OP is a good guy who’s hit a rough spot, but in my humble opinion, coddling somebody don’t make them wake up to what they have- it makes them think that their thoughts are rational and justified when in reality, they’ll look back in 20 years and say “What the fuck was I thinking being so upset about that?”

I work for a newspaper. All day I write about people who have real problems, who have cancer and leukemia but are still trying to have professional fights, who are still trying to run marathons, who are still trying to live a normal life even though they’ve lost nearly everything, including their health. And the funniest part of it- the people with REAL problems, with SERIOUS issues, don’t complain, and they don’t want your pity. They simply live, and realize that, like Kerouac said, life is precious and every moment is holy.

So man the fuck up and realize how important your life is to the people around you, to your family, to your friends, to your peoples, and cut this crybaby bullshit out.

51

And again, flame away if you like, i have no intentions of “defending” that last post if someone disagrees. It’s just the way I feel about it, and I wanted to say that I’m not coming from a position of not having been there.

52

I’m not going to recap the year that shall not be named, but I’ve had the barrel in my mouth, OP. Ct’s right for a change. It gets a a lot better.

53

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
And again, flame away if you like, i have no intentions of “defending” that last post if someone disagrees. It’s just the way I feel about it, and I wanted to say that I’m not coming from a position of not having been there. [/quote]

No, I agree with most of what you said. But the part about pointing out that other people are having it worse–that doesn’t work IMO, even if it’s true.

54

DON’T STOP POSTING OP!! Don’t be embarassed, nobody here knows who you are anyway, and even if we did, if you came to us in real life, I’m 100% sure any of these guys would help you out when you needed it. I’m not very old, and just started posting, I myself have been around people most of my teens/adult life that have been suicidal. It’s terrible, the most wasteful thing you can possibly do. Please stear clear. Think of your family, think of WHAT YOU OWE TO YOUR FUCKING SELF!

Now let’s look at some of your problems: Depressed because of mediocre girls, grades, don’t feel like your good at anything… Im guessing that you are a young man, seeing as you are in law school an’ all, nowhere near your prime likely. So here is the young guy speech I give to all my friends when they give me a depression story. I sit down and tell them: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! YOU are a young MAN! THERE ISN’T A FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD YOU CAN’T DO! I mean seriously OP? What CAN’T YOU DO? I can do whatever I want, Im a young, free, American male. Unstoppable. 50K in debt? Apply for a job, problem solved. (Even if is nowhere near the job you really want to keep for the rest of your life, sometimes you have to put the big life plans on a little hiatus, so you can deal with the minor shit). Moving on… Not lifting enough weight? LIFT HARD! Problem solved…Problems with girls? Well man, I got the same problem so I can’t really help you there but I have read a lot of the Confession/Question stuff and the more I read, the less I think…the more girls seem to like me. So girls are just a combination of research, and big YOUNG MAN type BALLS. Dad always told me, even if your confidence is in the shitter, fake it, fake it 'till you make it.

OP, life is what you make of it, you were obviously put here for a reason, bred out of love between your parents, you literally live in a world where anything you want is possible if you work hard enough for it. Even you yourself said is retrospect you didn’t think you were firing off on all cylinders when you look back at your grades/sports, ect, ect.

So it’s like everyone else has been saying, just focus, FOCUS your energy. FOCUS your time, your intensity, into your goals, what you want out of life and DRIVE towards those goals WITHOUT FUCKING RELENT!! And before you know it, YOU WILL BE…everything that you WANTED to be. You will be out of debt, successful, have a perfect TEN girlfriend (I know this part inparticular sounds impossible but it is NOT, consider this, 96% of all women on earth marry a man at some point in life, so there is a ‘Miss Right’ out there somewhere). It has to start with the decision to be successful. And OP, you too can be successful.

Also, one more thing,

You feel like your identity’s gone, like it has been swept away by reality. This part is a little hard for me to explain, simply put, nobody is BORN the person that they will eventually be, think of your birth as a blank disc, (that’s sort of a blunt way to put it), and over time, your parents/mentors/friends/everything you experience in life puts in information, eventually you choose whether to keep or reject it. Then you make it your own, and YOU BUILD YOUR OWN IDENTITY!!! NOBODY GIVES IT TO YOU, NOBODY TAKES IT AWAY BECAUSE IT IS YOURS AND YOU MADE IT ALL FOR YOURSELF!! IT IS WHO YOU ARE!!! YOU MAKE YOURSELF!!!

And when you MAKE youself, that can never be taken away, so earlier in your life you may have FELT successful, may have THOUGHT you were good, and now you feel like those things are apart of your identity and they are now gone… When in reality all that happened was you were simply under a misconception. The EXACT SAME THING happened to me when I went to work after highschool. I though I was some big badass football player, and it was like a punch in the dick when I found out that my potential employer DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK THAT I COULD BENCH PRESS 270 MY SENIOR YEAR!!! See, it’s not even that much, I was a bitch football player is HS, but I didn’t know any better. Then I had to go out and get a job and that’s when I learned nobody gave a fuck if I was a good athlete, and that was a little devastating because for eighteen years everyone was always telling me how great I was, telling me that I was worth something, when in reality all I was…was a little boy, who drove someone else’s pickup, and burned up money that somebody else was making FOR ME. And that I was collectivly contributing nothing to society. So yes, I was depressed about the same thing/felt the same way, wanted very badly for things to go back to the way they were, when people were telling me I was WORTH SOMETHING. BUT then, one day I said to myself, "Fuck this shit, I’m applying for this job and I’m going to work my ass off, because I want my OWN SHIT!'. And the work ethic and honesty, and other qualities I picked up along the way are MAKING ME WHO I AM RIGHT NOW. So make yourself, and just know, that you are WORTH something, and that your obstacles are SMALLL!!! Especially for a red-blooded, strong, young man. 50K ain’t shit, 4 years without pussy ain’t shit. Just…make it happen man. As a human being I believe you can. even if YOU dont.

55

My post is long as fuck, suck my cock.

56

^^wheeee

I couldnt have typed that with my ipod

57

[quote]debraD wrote:

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
And again, flame away if you like, i have no intentions of “defending” that last post if someone disagrees. It’s just the way I feel about it, and I wanted to say that I’m not coming from a position of not having been there. [/quote]

No, I agree with most of what you said. But the part about pointing out that other people are having it worse–that doesn’t work IMO, even if it’s true. [/quote]
Agree.

58

I don’t even pretend to understand where severely depressed people are coming from because I do believe that much of it has to do with the brain and its chemistry.

For example, I’m aware that I’m basically an optimistic, happy guy but I can’t say that I know exactly why. I understand that people with irregular brain chemistry may feel deeply depressed and “Just fucking man up! At least you don’t have cancer!” won’t help.
I’m sure the OP knows fully well that it’s good NOT to have cancer, and is likely happy that he doesn’t have it and all, but he’s depressed about his situation.

I think telling someone with depression to just not have it would be like me telling you to go out and run a Marathon right now, and do it in under 2 hours because any negative feelings about it are all in your head.

59

[quote]Fiction wrote:
Killing myself seems somewhat appealing right now.

Situation:
I am in law school (I know many of you will think that that is a good reason to kill yourself in general). Here is the thing. I am mediocre at just about everything. I get mediocre grades, date mediocre women (more on that in a bit), have no summer employment prospects (important for law students), I am only occasionally funny, somewhat good looking, I can’t put on mass, I overthink everything, I am not very social and as such have few friends.

Oh, and did I mention I am somewhere in the ballpark of $50k in debt now due to law school in a saturated market. It could be worse right? I could suck at everything and have no friends. I could be a paraplegic or have a traumatic brain injury.

Recently, a girl I was seeing has started give me the “slow fade”, as it has been recently described to me. Basically, she stopped being in the mood for sex, started only hanging out if it was on her terms, at her place, etc. I am 94% sure she has her eye on another guy, and this guy…wait for it…has better grades, a $2000/week job this summer, and (I guess–I haven’t met the dude) quite funny.

I’m upset that I lost the girl, of course. Mostly, because relationships are one of the few things I always kicked ass in and this is one thing to add to my “I’m not as good as I thought list”; however, it also forces the realization that outside of your family, people only like you for the value you bring into their lives. Which basically relegates me to being either a mediocre friend to great people or a great friend to mediocre people.

I have ADHD. It’s not really an excuse, because I know I am a lazy bitch, but it effectively describes the manner in which I am a lazy bitch.

For the first time, in law school, I set my mind on a goal that I really, deeply wanted to achieve. And I still failed. Not only did I fail, but I don’t even think, deep down, I really tried. I fucked around a bunch on my computer and spent plenty of time in the library, and bought all of the supplements and blew my friends off, but I cannot in good conscience say that I tried. I was looking for the shortcut while I dicked around and distracted myself.

When I was a kid I was always told that “Suicide is a long-term solution for a short term problem.” I always liked how that was put. Looking at depressed people I could never really understand why the were so mopey. I guess I always chalked it up to some degree of irrationality. After all, there were always way worse people out there, and if they just got their shit together they could easily improve their situation in live.

Now, I’m starting to understand where they’re coming from. It’s not that their situation was bad or worse, it’s that their situation was without hope. If I was rock fucking bottom and had really always been there, I don’t think it would be such a big deal. I would just focus on doing as well as I could to improve my situation and, sure there are people that are better than me, but basically anything I did would be a tremendous success.

In my case, it is the fact that believed I was a highly intelligent, athletic, talented person who just needed a kick in the rear and the right motivation to succeed. But I was raised to believe that I am special and that I could do anything if I set my mind to it. Now it is like waking from a dream and realizing that I really am average. I really am just another ho-hum guy. My identity is dead.

And with that, my life is left without real meaning or purpose. Suicide is not an irrational decision at all. It is accepting that you are really already dead, and that living the sort of half life that comes after your identity is shattered is unbearable suffering.

Well…I never thought I had it in me to write such ridiculously emo bullshit. I’m not really sure if this is a cry for help or what. Just holding my own little personal pity party.

Anyway, on to a subject which I suspect you will find much more entertaining–what do you think is the best way to go if you were off yourself? Gun seems most appealing as it has the highest rate of success, but it leaves an awful mess and the less I have to upset my family the better.

Don’t worry guys. I’m not killing myself just yet. So mods no need to block this thread or anything. Just doing my emo whining in public. And yeah, I probably won’t post here again, because even if I don’t kill myself, I will be way to embarrassed to post after this shit.[/quote]

Ok op, here’s a different answer that’s straight from the heart and I know I’m probably going to catch some shit for it because it’s a completely different spin.

Nowdays, you are placed in a world that’s very different than what humans lived in for thousands of years. Basically, it’s an air-conditioned cage. Next, you are taken away from the things that used to make life feel “normal”, namely, several generations of family, rituals, heavy labor, certain foods that are “you”, etc. Lastly, none of the sensory inputs, which have been proven, through many studies, to calm the senses, reduce feelings of rage and violence, are available to you. Yes, they’ve shown that staring at trees and hearing water calms people down.

I’m mentioning this because if you go into the “old” atmosphere (hike around for a while, let yourself be a little kid and discover things like newts, bugs, and all sorts of weird creaturees) you will noticed that nothing in that environment gives a shit how good you are at anything. You being alive makes you worthy. Thousands of generations before you had to survive for you to exist, and therefore your existence is success.

You can end it right now, or you can take the senses life gave you and find something that makes them feel alive. Currently, you don’t have anything that’s doing it for you.

What did you want FOR YOURSELF when you were little? What gave you joy?

60

[quote]Nards wrote:
I don’t even pretend to understand where severely depressed people are coming from because I do believe that much of it has to do with the brain and its chemistry.

For example, I’m aware that I’m basically an optimistic, happy guy but I can’t say that I know exactly why. I understand that people with irregular brain chemistry may feel deeply depressed and “Just fucking man up! At least you don’t have cancer!” won’t help.
I’m sure the OP knows fully well that it’s good NOT to have cancer, and is likely happy that he doesn’t have it and all, but he’s depressed about his situation.

I think telling someone with depression to just not have it would be like me telling you to go out and run a Marathon right now, and do it in under 2 hours because any negative feelings about it are all in your head.[/quote]

Well I do have depression in my family, so mine as a teenager might have been genetic, but sometimes life does give you deep cause to forget what happiness is.