[quote]and1bball4mk wrote:
When my parents leave the house and I’m home alone, looking at as much porn as possible on the computer. (I’m 15) Or when they leave going to the basement and blasting some death or black metal in the surround sound.[/quote]
Those were the days…
[quote]helga wrote:
jjblaze wrote:
So let me get this straight. One can be a masterblaster, and one can be a masturbator, but one can’t be a masterblaster masturbator? I always hoped I could master blasting and bating if I put my mind to it.
You certainly can be a masterblaster masturbator. It is called a masterblasterbator.
You know that you have reached this level when you can wank and fart at the same time without shitting or cumming on yourself.[/quote]
LMFAO. That’s just fucking funny, mate. Thanks for the visual. It’s good to know there’s a title for my skill set. Woohoo!
[quote]helga wrote:
jjblaze wrote:
So let me get this straight. One can be a masterblaster, and one can be a masturbator, but one can’t be a masterblaster masturbator? I always hoped I could master blasting and bating if I put my mind to it.
You certainly can be a masterblaster masturbator. It is called a masterblasterbator.
You know that you have reached this level when you can wank and fart at the same time without shitting or cumming on yourself.[/quote]
The keyboard player in my band says he can do the above without spilling his beer. Not that I’ve seen it or anything.
[quote]AndrewGpv03 wrote:
masterblaster wrote:
helga wrote:
A simple pleasure for me is pointing out when someone has been an asshat.
[/quote]
What exactly is an “asshat”?
DB
[quote]Nicholas F wrote:
That warm feeling you get when you break the ice from a girl you just met at the bar or wherever and she is comfortable enough around you that she initiates some type of slight physical contact - like brushing her hand on your arm or leg.
[/quote]
The feeling of pissing myself is not one of my simple pleasures.
DB
[quote]KombatAthlete wrote:
Meeting random people. Today in Barnes and Noble cafe I met a random music composer.[/quote]
Can’t anyone compose random music?
DB
[quote]pushharder wrote:
One of mine with a slight modification: The smell of a naked woman’s perfume as she walks past.[/quote]
The smell of a naked woman’s perfume as she lays right next to me
[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
helga wrote:
jjblaze wrote:
So let me get this straight. One can be a masterblaster, and one can be a masturbator, but one can’t be a masterblaster masturbator? I always hoped I could master blasting and bating if I put my mind to it.
You certainly can be a masterblaster masturbator. It is called a masterblasterbator.
You know that you have reached this level when you can wank and fart at the same time without shitting or cumming on yourself.
The keyboard player in my band says he can do the above without spilling his beer. Not that I’ve seen it or anything.
[/quote]
Let me know once he can correctly remove the ash from a cuban cigar in addition to the above and I will confirm that he has reached my level.
[quote]helga wrote:
Let me know once he can correctly remove the ash from a cuban cigar in addition to the above and I will confirm that he has reached my level.[/quote]
Now that’s talent. You, sir, are the Master.
It’s been noted that guys like to smell their own farts, especially the really nasty ones. It’s like we’re immune to the nauseating stench coming from our own asses.
YET, I don’t know about the rest of you, but while enjoying my own brand of stink bomb, what I DON’T enjoy, and frankly, can’t stand, is the smell of my own brown kids when I drop them off at the pool. Does anyone here actually like the smell of their butt children?
[quote]helga wrote:
jjblaze wrote:
So let me get this straight. One can be a masterblaster, and one can be a masturbator, but one can’t be a masterblaster masturbator? I always hoped I could master blasting and bating if I put my mind to it.
You certainly can be a masterblaster masturbator. It is called a masterblasterbator.
You know that you have reached this level when you can wank and fart at the same time without shitting or cumming on yourself.[/quote]
I hadn’t returned to this thread in some time but I sure am glad I did…this is funny shit…I may change my name to masterblasterbator…I like it. You dudes are funny MFs.
Masterblasterbator
[quote]Curzon wrote:
It’s been noted that guys like to smell their own farts, especially the really nasty ones. It’s like we’re immune to the nauseating stench coming from our own asses.
YET, I don’t know about the rest of you, but while enjoying my own brand of stink bomb, what I DON’T enjoy, and frankly, can’t stand, is the smell of my own brown kids when I drop them off at the pool. Does anyone here actually like the smell of their butt children?[/quote]
Nah mate not a big fan at all of my chocolate soldiers.
But how good of a feeling is it when u have been busting for a shit all day,like i mean REALLY busting then u finally release those bad boys after waiting for so long bacause u had a few meeting’s and so forth ahhh gives me chills 
Peace
HHH
[quote]Yo Momma wrote:
helga wrote:
Let me know once he can correctly remove the ash from a cuban cigar in addition to the above and I will confirm that he has reached my level.
Now that’s talent. You, sir, are the Master.
[/quote]
My instructional e-book will be out in a few weeks.
You can pre order copies by calling 1800-masterblasterbater (we have bloody long phone numbers in Australia)
e
[quote]helga wrote:
I was in the shower at the gym yesterday morning and as I was washing my back I felt something on my scap. It felt familiar but foreign all at the same time. I nearly twisted my neck off to see what it was but I mnaged to see a pimple just waiting to explode.
I used to have reasonably bad acne but I have not had a decent pimple on my back in about 6 years. I used to hate the pussy bastards but I got kind of excited when I saw that thing. I reached around and gave it a little squeeze.
I felt the little explosion and heard that popping sound that probably doesnt exist but you just know is there. Having just got out of a nice warm shower my skin was soft and supple and that little pimple shot a clean little ball of pus onto my finger.
I dont know why but squeezing that pimple made me feel good. I am still glad that I no longer have the skin that I use to have, but that one pimple bought me a few second of joy.
I guess it is like when you are all by yourself and you do a fart that is absolutely disgusting but you just cant stop sniffing in that smell and feeling proud.
I know that I am not alone on this one.
What are the simple/stupid/bizarre things that give you the simple pleasures in life?[/quote]
LMAO! T-Nation just plain fucking rocks!!
Headhunter
Did you know that if you shit in a public toilet and lean forward, you can watch the reflection in the water of the shit coming out of your ass?
Enjoy.
HH
Some of you bros are f’in hilarious.
Driving to work on a beautiful day, with the windows down, along the coastline of southern CT, while everyone else is sitting in traffic on I-95.
Going to Yankees games when ARod is benched or hurt.
Laying on the grass in the yard. My boy next to me, his head resting on my arm as we make out shapes in the clouds. Usually drsagons or spaceships.
[quote]duke wrote:
You crack me up…
So, how long after you meet a bloke do you start talking about farts and spanking?[/quote]
Immediately! I mean, apart from women and football, what else can you talk about?