S***load of Flies in My Drink Tonight

Off Topic
1

So yesterday was my birthday, but because 90% of my birthday falls on the 16th, and because I worked 7 hours and then had 5 hours of classes until 9:30 last night, I went out for it tonight instead. My gf took me to the spot where we had planned to have our first date, about 10 months ago. (We didn’t end up having our first date there because they were renovating the kitchen, and we had to go down the street to another place.) She thought it would be nice to come full circle, and took me there for my birthday.

So I order this mac/cheese/jalapeno thing that was surprisingly good, a couple of Sam’s Octoberfest (I love those things), and she got a nice hummus dish. For dessert I got a cookie/sundae type deal. I had a cup of water that the bartendress refilled for me a couple times throughout the meal. After I polish off the last of the sundae I’m looking in my cup and see some stuff floating in it.

At first I thought I backwashed into the cup…then I realized that it was 5 small fly corpses (possibly fruit flies). The bartendress came over to our table when she saw me & my gf looking at the cup weird, and took it upstairs to the owner of the place who comped our entire meal. She also brought us over a bottle of water. Not too bad I’d say, we still tipped her like 5 bucks, and other than that the meal was free. All I had to do was eat fly feces!

2

flies are the least of ones worry in most restaurants.

3

I was sad when Mary Jane dumped Peter on the bridge.

But he is a vagina, and deserved it

4

The valuation and impairment guidance for securities should be similar to the guidance for loans. Currently there is an inconsistency in the valuation and impairment treatment for securitized loans and unsecuritized loans. The difference in valuing unsecuritized loans and securitized loans was discussed in SFAS 1 15. At that time, the FASB Board recognized that a principal difference between securities and unsecuritized loans is the relatively greater and easier availability of reliable market prices for securities. The current credit market has highlighted that such reliable market prices do not always exist. As such, holders of securitized loans are subject to much harsher valuation requirements and other-than-temporary impairment results even though the underlying collateral is the same.

5

Same thing happened to my water at a resturant last week except it was only one fly. The bartender gave me 20% off and a fresh glass.

6

So, based on AccipiterQ and elano’s experience the going discount for flies is 20% per fly eh…

Interesting…

7

[quote]stockzy wrote:
So, based on AccipiterQ and elano’s experience the going discount for flies is 20% per fly eh…

Interesting…[/quote]

Fuck that. I found a pube in a baked potato and only got a free salad

8

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
The valuation and impairment guidance for securities should be similar to the guidance for loans. Currently there is an inconsistency in the valuation and impairment treatment for securitized loans and unsecuritized loans. The difference in valuing unsecuritized loans and securitized loans was discussed in SFAS 1 15. At that time, the FASB Board recognized that a principal difference between securities and unsecuritized loans is the relatively greater and easier availability of reliable market prices for securities. The current credit market has highlighted that such reliable market prices do not always exist. As such, holders of securitized loans are subject to much harsher valuation requirements and other-than-temporary impairment results even though the underlying collateral is the same.[/quote]

ditto

9

I jerked off into my psychopath roommate’s shampoo like ten times last month. His is hair is silky smooth.

10

I found an ENTIRE BIC PEN CAP in a wendy’s frosty and all I got was a $5 gift certificate.

11

[quote]artw wrote:
I jerked off into my psychopath roommate’s shampoo like ten times last month. His is hair is silky smooth.[/quote]

ha ha, in college we pissed in the neighbors hair gel, shook the shit out of the bottle and put it back.

I like to believe he at least squirted it in his hand, if not ran some through his hair before noticing.

12

[quote]countingbeans wrote:
The valuation and impairment guidance for securities should be similar to the guidance for loans. Currently there is an inconsistency in the valuation and impairment treatment for securitized loans and unsecuritized loans. The difference in valuing unsecuritized loans and securitized loans was discussed in SFAS 1 15. At that time, the FASB Board recognized that a principal difference between securities and unsecuritized loans is the relatively greater and easier availability of reliable market prices for securities. The current credit market has highlighted that such reliable market prices do not always exist. As such, holders of securitized loans are subject to much harsher valuation requirements and other-than-temporary impairment results even though the underlying collateral is the same.[/quote]

I’m wet.

13

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
countingbeans wrote:
The valuation and impairment guidance for securities should be similar to the guidance for loans. Currently there is an inconsistency in the valuation and impairment treatment for securitized loans and unsecuritized loans. The difference in valuing unsecuritized loans and securitized loans was discussed in SFAS 1 15. At that time, the FASB Board recognized that a principal difference between securities and unsecuritized loans is the relatively greater and easier availability of reliable market prices for securities. The current credit market has highlighted that such reliable market prices do not always exist. As such, holders of securitized loans are subject to much harsher valuation requirements and other-than-temporary impairment results even though the underlying collateral is the same.

I’m wet. [/quote]

In that case:

On October 14, 2008, the FASAB issued Statement 33, which provides guidance on disclosing the
effects of â??changes in long-term assumptions used to estimate federal employee pension, other
retirement benefit and other postemployment benefit liabilitiesâ?? in federal financial statements.
Statement 33 requires the following:

Gains and losses from changes in assumptions â?? These should be shown, separately from
other costs, as a discrete line item in the statement of net cost. In addition, a reconciliation of beginning and ending liabilities should be disclosed in the notes to the financial statements.
The line item for actuarial gains and losses in this reconciliation should be divided into
subcategories for changes in assumptions and changes from experience.

Selection of discount rates for present valuations â?? For present value measurements of longterm
liabilities, an entity should use interest rates on marketable treasury securities whose
maturities are similar to those of the cash flows being discounted. Discount rates should reflect
the average historical rates on marketable treasury securities; companies should not give
undue weight to recent experience with such rates.

Valuation dates â?? The valuation date should be consistent from year to year. Generally,
liabilities should be measured at the end of the fiscal year; however, measurements may be
based on an actuarial valuation performed earlier in the fiscal year, as long as adjustments (or
a rollforward) for effects of factor changes during the year are taken into account.

14

[quote]AccipiterQ wrote:
So yesterday was my birthday, but because 90% of my birthday falls on the 16th, and because I worked 7 hours and then had 5 hours of classes until 9:30 last night, I went out for it tonight instead. My gf took me to the spot where we had planned to have our first date, about 10 months ago. (We didn’t end up having our first date there because they were renovating the kitchen, and we had to go down the street to another place.) She thought it would be nice to come full circle, and took me there for my birthday.

So I order this mac/cheese/jalapeno thing that was surprisingly good, a couple of Sam’s Octoberfest (I love those things), and she got a nice hummus dish. For dessert I got a cookie/sundae type deal. I had a cup of water that the bartendress refilled for me a couple times throughout the meal. After I polish off the last of the sundae I’m looking in my cup and see some stuff floating in it. At first I thought I backwashed into the cup…then I realized that it was 5 small fly corpses (possibly fruit flies). The bartendress came over to our table when she saw me & my gf looking at the cup weird, and took it upstairs to the owner of the place who comped our entire meal. She also brought us over a bottle of water. Not too bad I’d say, we still tipped her like 5 bucks, and other than that the meal was free. All I had to do was eat fly feces!
[/quote]

This is actually alot more common as you would think. Allow to me explain.

Fruit Flies are attracted to sugar that has been allowed to sit at room temperature for an extended amount of time. The nozzles on the soda dispensers (water comes out of the Lemonade or Iced Tea dispenser as these are not carbonated) over time will build a sugary residue, which then ferments and attracts flies. These nozzles are removable and should be, per current Serv-Safe Sanitation Certification regulations, removed and soaked in soapy water daily.

Being that this is America, and your average run of the mill server (man or woman) is someone who failed miserably at many things in order to become a server (im probably prejudice because im a chef and hate with every fiber of my being 95% of servers.), daily procedures and closing side work is often over looked. Servers often feel it is more important to get home early and feed there many children, shoot up, and get laid (not necessarily in that order).

Most often these flies are overlooked as they are not as easily seen in dark sodas or drinks with ice. The average American ingests over 1000 insects in restaurants every year because of lazy, undisciplined workers (ill admit kitchen staff are equally responsible for this as they are often busy shooting up, getting laid, and feeding there children at work).

Tips for not eating bugs;

  • Get your salad dressing on the side
  • Get your drinks with no ice and use a straw (you dont even want to hear what your glass touches between the dishwasher and your mouth)
  • Avoid eating at restaurants with questionable staff

Fun fact: For my final in sanitation, I tested the water from the toilet at McDonalds, to the Ice from the soda machine and conducted a germ culture. Wanna guess which is dirtier? Ill give you a hint, You might want to think twice before you yell at your dog for drinking out of the toilet.

15

You got an entire comped Bill and only tipped 5 dollars even though the server went out of her way to make sure she got fucked over appeasing an order for you…
CHHHHHHEAAAAAAAAAAAP SKAAAAAAAAAAAATE!

16

Oh yeah…

 Huey Lewis and the News burst out of San Francisco onto the national music scene at the beginning of the decade, with their self-titled rock-pop album released by Chrysalis, though they didn't really come into their own, commercially or artistically, until their 1983 smash, Sports.

Though their roots were visible (blues, Memphis soul, country) on Huey Lewis and the News, they seemed a little too willing to cash in on the late seventies/early eighties taste for New Wave, and the album-though it’s still a smashing debut-seems a little too stark, too punk. Examples of this being the drumming on the first single, “Some of My Lies Are True (Sooner or Later)”, and the fake handclaps on “Don’t Make Me Do It” as well as the organ on “Taking A Walk”.

Even though it was a little bit strained, their peppy boy-wants-girl lyrics and the energy with which Lewis, as a lead singer, instilled all the songs were refreshing. Having a great lead guitarist like Chris Hayes (who also shares vocals) doesn’t hurt either. Hayes’s solos are as original and unrehearsed as any in rock. Yet the keyboardist, Sean Hopper, seemed too intent on playing the organ a little too mechanically (though his piano playing on the second half of the album gets better) and Bill Gibson’s drumming was too muted to have much impact.

The songwriting also didn’t mature until much later, though many of the catchy songs had hints of longing and regret and dread (“Stop Trying” is just one example).

17

Whitney Houston burst onto the music scene in 1985 with her self-titled LP which had four number one hit singles on it, including “The Greatest Love of All”, “You Give Good Love”, and “Saving All My Love For You”, plus it won a Grammy Award for best pop vocal performance by a female and two American Music Awards, one for best rhythm and blues single and another one for best rhythm and blues video.

She was also cited as best new artist of the year by Billboard and by Rolling Stone magazine. With all this hype, one might expect the album to be an anti-climactic, lackluster affair, but the surprise is that Whitney Houston (Arista) is one of the warmest, most complex and altogether satisfying rhythm and blues records of the decade and Whitney herself has a voice that defies belief.

From the elegant, beautiful photo of her on the cover of the album (in a gown by Giovanne DeMaura) and its fairly sexy counterpart on the back (in a bathing suit by Norma Kamali) one knows that this isn’t going to be a blandly professional affair; the record is smooth but intense and Whitney’s voice leaps across so many boundaries and is so versatile (though she’s mainly a jazz singer) that it’s hard to take in the album on a first listening. But you won’t want to. You’ll want to savor it over many.

18

I’ve been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that I didn’t really understand any of their work, though on their last albums of the 1970’s, the concept-laden And Then There Were Three (a reference to band member Peter Gabriel, who left the group to start a lame solo career), I did enjoy the lovely “Follow You, Follow Me”.

Otherwise all the albums before Duke seemed too artsy, too intellectual. It was Duke (Atlantic; 1980), where Phil Collins’ presence became more apparent, and the music got more modern, the drum machine became more prevalent and the lyrics started getting less mystical and more specific (maybe because of Peter Gabriel’s departure), and complex, ambiguous studies of loss became, instead, smashing first-rate pop songs that I gratefully embraced.

The songs themselves seemed arranged more around Collins’ drumming than Mike Rutherford’s bass lines or Tony Banks’ keyboard riffs. A classic example of this is “Misunderstanding”, which not only was the group’s first big hit of the eighties but also seemed to set the tone for the rest of their albums as the decade progressed.

The other standout on Duke is “Turn It On Again”, which is about the negative effects of television. On the other hand, “Heathaze” is a song I just don’t understand, while “Please Don’t Ask” is a touching lovesong written to a separated wife who regains custody of the couple’s child.

Has the negative aspect of divorce ever been rendered in more intimate terms by a rock ‘n’ roll group? I don’t think so. “Duke Travels” and “Dukes End” might mean something but since the lyrics aren’t printed it’s hard to tell what Collins is singing about, though there is complex, gorgeous piano work by Tony Banks on the latter track.

The only bummer about Duke is “Alone Tonight”, which is way too reminiscent of “Tonight, Tonight, Tonight” from the group’s later masterpiece Invisible Touch and the only example, really, of where Collins has plagiarized himself.

19

Are you going to kill me now Patrick?

20

[quote]MementoMori wrote:
You got an entire comped Bill and only tipped 5 dollars even though the server went out of her way to make sure she got fucked over appeasing an order for you…
CHHHHHHEAAAAAAAAAAAP SKAAAAAAAAAAAATE!
[/quote]

That is what I was going to say. The waitress got your the free meal.

I thought this was univeral common sense.