I agree with the majority of your post, but I believe you’ve got very narrow, focused view of “the past”.
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I have neither, coincidence? 
Hmmmm that’s a tough one. Should we change partner if the only thing is that one specific sexual thing they won’t do?
I have noticed that when I’m single and without a crush, porn and masturbation feels meh, more like a habit or something, dick half hard. When i’m with someone/have a crush it’s more a fuel, a ctalyst and I think of my SO most of the time TBH
Thanks.
That could be. I only go by what I’ve experienced, read, heard, and observed. I cannot possibly know about all the pasts of every society.
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@dagill2 - I had another thought.
A buddy of mine had a porn problem - as in, a real problem (maybe bordering on addiction? I’m not qualified to diagnose) and his girlfriend (who is now is his wife) didn’t like him watching porn at all. Not in a naggy way, it just wasn’t something she agreed with and since she didn’t watch it, one of her wishes of her future spouse was that he didn’t watch it either. I think that’s totally valid, considering she made known early on.
Anyway, something he said to me once when we were talking about it was that porn never says no. Porn is never tired, has never had a long day, is never feeling sick, it’s never that time of month, it never feels unattractive, it’s never in a bad mood, it never feels uncomfortable performing certain acts, etc. It will always say yes to ANYTHING you want.
He said that’s why he knew it wasn’t good (for him). Because he knew, based on his personality or whatever, that it was good for him to learn to deal with and accept an imperfect human being, with all of their inconvenient emotions and needs. It wasn’t good for him to be able to, kinda like I said yesterday, get what he could from his wife and then get the rest of what he wanted from someone/something else.
Just wanted to share that, as it kind of relates to what I’d been saying. And it is, for the record, how I view the issue as well.
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To clarify, my questions on this thread have been mostly trying to explore others thoughts on these things, so thank you for sharing.
Totally agree with this. My thoughts have always been that “cheating” is a sexual act that your other half would not want you to do, whatever that is. So watching porn in those circumstances would absolutely count as cheating in my book.
On this point, I totally get where he/you are coming from. However, could porn be considered a “Plan B”? If your partner is going through a period in which they don’t feel very sexual, for whatever reason, could you not view porn as a way to dampen your “appetites” so that you can continue to be a loving, caring partner in all other areas of life without having your drives interfere?
There are some men who act like they’re going to die if they don’t have sex or masturbate for a few weeks or months. That’s how sex-obsessed some of us are. I wonder what some of them would do in much scarcer conditions long ago (hardly any or no access to porn, punishment for adultery or alien of affection, etc.).
One of the reasons I hate porn is that it is yet another element of a sex-obsessed, gynocentric society in which female sexuality is put front and center, practically worshiped, which has lead to many men thinking completely irrational and jumping through hoops for constant female validation, because it’s now a measure of worth as a man for many men.
A profound statement my friend once passed along to me: “lust of the mind causes constipation of the brain.”
Porn is full of fractured people, alienated people, desperate people, mental illness, addiction, disease, and even people, particularly producers and executives, who openly stated their penchant for defiling and abusing women and destroying society. Read the words of people like Al Goldstein and other sexual revolutionaries for proof.
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The only pornographic films I’ve seen (start to finish) are deep throat and Debbie does Dallas.
The first film is about a woman who can’t seem to find sexual satisfaction, until a “doctor” finds her… ahem… man in the boat is situated in her throat.
Apparently in the universe of porn this is possible… and doctors screw their patients too!
Debbie does Dallas was about a cheer leading squad that needs to acquire enough money to get to Dallas… so instead of getting jobs they start having sex with people for money… because… of course they do!
Then there’s the “pizza delivery guy”, the “postman” trope… having sex with a burglar instead of calling the cops… getting stuck in a couch
Are these outlandish scenarios actually supposed to arouse anyone?
I haven’t watched pornography in almost three weeks now, going strong! It’s hard to avoid as I don’t have a partner.
I’m not one of those “nofap” guys, however I’ve found myself disturbed by the revelation I may be inadvertently supporting human trafficking + an industry that exploits and preys upon young women.
@brickhead you’ve touched upon pornography exploiting the sexual desires of men, but does the prospect of an industry luring in young, “barely legal” women not also disturb you? Reeling them in with promises of fortune and luxury, yet after which actresses are required to participate in increasingly degrading acts in order to procure the same pay check.
Not to mention the rate of sexual assault, hard drug use and suicide within the industry. For the most part, 17/18 year old women are prone to making rash decisions without thinking of the potential long term consequence/fallout associated with said decisions. Development of the prefrontal cortex (area of business associated with impulse control, empathy etc) doesn’t finish until early 20’s at the earliest. The same can be said about young men getting into the industry.
For deep throat, Linda Lovelace reported she was coerced and raped on set. For Debbie does Dallas, the main actress (if I recall correctly) was a heroin addict. On paper, I’m actually fine with porn provided access is restricted to adults as adults aren’t children.
However it’s not as simple as “two or more consenting adults bound by a contract to have sex on film”. So while I don’t think watching pornography should be criminalised, I’m not a fan of the dynamic and I’d like to preferably see many producers of extreme content like Max Hardcore imprisoned for the degree of pain they inflict unto others… a little bit of “an eye for an eye” would also be quite satisfying for men like this.
Are you sure about that? Most porn is aimed towards satisfying the MAN… bringing the guy to orgasm… if female sexuality was brought to the forefront in pornography you’d see a lot of cunninglingus, foreplay and the likes… you do have “feminist pornography” but for the most part pornographic material is directed by men… for men…
Men aren’t the victims in Max Hardcore style videos. Videos of gang bangs (admittedly I don’t think I’ve ever seen one) aren’t prioritising female sexuality either
I also want to touch upon the notion of “men are having less sex now”. Data available is indicative this isn’t true. Less are getting married and having kids, but the number of reported sexual partners for the most part has remained stagnant and/or increased slightly. I’ll find it later, but there was a fairly large survey published looking over reported sexual partners by generation + the percentage of those who reported never having sex. With the current generation of young adults something like 1-2% of men reported being virgin’s by the time they’d hit mid 20’s. These surveys are anonymous, there is no good reason to lie.
I don’t buy the whole “sexual revolution created frustrated men/incels” argument. Not every man or woman is owed sex, if you’re a basement dwelling neckbeard who makes no effort with women or if you’re an obese, man hating, third wave feminist chances are you aren’t getting any.
This isn’t societies fault, this is your fault. Granted I do believe even the most unattractive/off-putting women will have an easier time procuring sex as women tend to be the ones who choose. At the same time women generally have lower sex drives, hence men consistently report amassing a higher body count in surveys.
It should be noted amassing “multiple” sexual partners was common all the way back in the 1940’s.
That’s fine, although basic math, observation, and reason show it did. There is not less total sex available. There is a redistribution of it. In other words some men hogging several women at once or marrying several women successively and using all their most fertile years.
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I predicted the line “you’re not owed a woman to come about,” as if I think each man is owed sex.
This has turned into a derail. I will only continue with porn, which is only one element of sexual liberation. I’ve discussed inceldom elsewhere.
Btw, not all incels are basement dwelling slobs.
You specify this with absolute certainty. Is there no part of you that thinks perhaps you aren’t correct about this? I’m not certain I’m in the right here… I could be wrong
I wasn’t talking about YOU, don’t take it personally. I was stating what I think… and I used men AND women in my analogy. There are disgusting people in this world who I think don’t deserve the luxury of having a partner/having sex.
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However on average, the median number of reported sexual partners is equitable.
For this to eventuate re redistribution you’d have to have a HUGE discrepancy.
Say you’ve got ten men, each reports having ten partners back in the 50’s
Now two guys hog all the women… so you’ve got 10 men, two report having forty partners, the other eight report having slept with 2-3 women and you’ve got a similar average
If this is the type of redistribution curve we speak of, I don’t buy it. I do believe you have highly successful, attractive, charismatic or sociopathic subtypes who sleep with a disproportionately high number of women, but I don’t believe the average male in his early 20’s (esp if they attend collage) is going to have trouble finding sex.
My anecdotal and observational reports = most young men have no trouble finding sex if they’re looking for it.
You could make the argument pornography has led to less men looking for sex… and I’d buy into thus argument. As someone said before, pornography doesn’t get tired, pornography isn’t ever “not in the mood”, hence why I don’t like the idea of people growing up with pornography as a primary outlet.
Not to mention the unrealistic expectations one may develop. I believe the one generation that actually did report having less sex (I’ll have to go back and look at the stat’s again) was millennial… otherwise known as the first generation with ease of access to internet porn
Wouldn’t be surprised if this current generation also ends up reporting less hokey pokey with the narrative/construct of prolonged isolation being encouraged
I will perhaps later comment on such evil freaks like Max Hardcore and Rocco Siffredi and the stupid and troubled women who by their own volition put themselves in dangerous and life-altering situations.
Vices generally make people shiftless, impulsive, enslaved, and irrational. That includes porn for many.
I’ll stick to talk of porn, not dating. Perhaps I’ll mention another freak, recently indicted Ron Jeremy, fellow Cardozo High School Alumni.
However for many young, naive women the details of the contract re a shoot with Max Hardcore aren’t made clear. On set there have been reports of coercion/threats of legal action if the women protest.
There was one documentary pertaining to this that was particularly harrowing, had footage of an actress who had no idea what she was getting herself into.
In the account that the individual is aware of what they’re getting into… I can agree with the argument “that’s on them” but then again I’m surprised you’d think this way as you’ve specified you aren’t a libertarian. My caveat here is “I don’t think content equitable to what Max Hardcore produces should be legal”.
Many a times you’ve specified you don’t agree with the prospect of adults being able to make their own decisions pertaining to self destructive behaviour. Why should this be any different?
I LEAN towards libertarianism, but pure libertarianism is almost in line with anarchism. So whether I have a libertarian view on a given topic depends on the issue at hand.
Max Hardcore is a parasitic entity who gets off on abusing and degrading women. I’ll go out on a limb and state I believe Max is probably guilty of everything Ron Jeremy was found guilty of AND more…
I’ve only ever seen short clips of his content. Unlike movies of which we know to be fake, the suffering seen on camera here is real. It is absolutely vile, morally repugnant.
A tiny, tiny, tiny portion of men/women might get off to these festivities… fine… do it behind closed doors with your partner. Content like this shouldn’t be distributed, those responsible for creating it ought to be punished for inflicting pain/suffering unto others.
Wow… did you go to school with him? The poor women who must’ve crossed his path in high school… his schnoobadoodle is (probably) longer than my forearm…
I think a lot of guys that do porn are hypersexual. When they get out (probably not by choice) and can’t have sex with attractive women anymore, they become deviant (like Ron Jeremy). Hardly any woman would have sex with him if she wasn’t being paid, so he turned to rape.
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He’s way older than me. I am 42. He is 68.
Not an excuse… you can see a hooker if it’s really that bad
Plenty of men with very large schnoobies don’t resort to rape.
Rape is first and foremost about dominance, not the sex itself. Unless you’ve been conditioned to think rape is acceptable (think child soldiers), it takes a sick fuck to pin someone down and penetrate them whilst they say “no, I don’t want this”.
I have no sympathy for the likes of Ron Jeremy or Max Hardcore.
Yeah, all of those movies you mentioned were a really big deal when I was a kid.
It’s not really the scenarios that are arousing.
In fact, I took delivery of a pizza just last night and paid for it in cash, just like I usually do.
And I’m going to do laundry later too. But if some attractive woman has somehow managed to get herself stuck in my washing machine I swear I’m going face first right up her a… ha ha ha.
Gotta keep it PG. Don’t need to make any more work for the mods. 
For sure not saying it is an excuse. I am just saying that these guys are generally hypersexual, and deviant. Of course not all, but in general.
They don’t have to. They just got to get rumors going about their package. JK, I actually don’t think most women care very much about it (although some do).