[quote]gregron wrote:
Sometimes, giving up things that you like is part of marriage, fatherhood and growing up.
The ex shouldn’t have given him that ultimatum but if he really and truely loved this woman and his family then it shouldn’t have even gotten to that point.
Single moms aren’t terrible people but a single mom with multiple kids from multiple baby daddy’s is about a big of a red flag as they get.[/quote]
Ask yourself: how healthy is it for the kids to see their father continually emasculated by their mother to the point where he can’t even play softball on the weekend?
[quote]gregron wrote:
What do your mommy issues have to do with what I wrote about two adults who love eachother in a marriage?[/quote]
I don’t have much mommy issues, at least that is what my therapist told me. But, I was pointing out that sometimes people do crazy things for apparently no reason, maybe because they are jealous. Why would someone that loved this man decide that he can’t have two days a month to have fun when the rest of the month he takes care of his kids/woman/&c.
I don’t really think this is just softball vs. woman. I think this is have personal time vs. do what I say. What I was trying to point out with my mommy issues.[/quote]
Hahaha I get what you’re saying now and I think we agree for the most part, man.
Maybe she didn’t/doesn’t really love him and just had him around for “security”? That would explain a lot but I don’t know the actual specifics.
[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
I don’t really think this is just softball vs. woman. I think this is have personal time vs. do what I say.
[/quote]
Could be, but I still think we’re in “who the hell knows” territory with this.
[/quote]
Then let’s wait for OP to explain further.[/quote]
She says her big issue is the amount of time I am gone for a tournament which varies. Most tournaments are double elimination so there are times we play 2 games and are done and other times we play 5 6 7 games and it is an all day and into the night deal. Look, my daughter is the most important thing in the world to me which is why I am considering getting back together with my ex. I just really feel like if she thinks I am putting something before family time she is going to get pissed whether it’s softball or not. Maybe next weekend I should ask if I can go play a round of golf with the guys and see how that goes over.
[/quote]
Sorry if this has already been discussed but…
I assume you work full time correct?
Does your ex work or is she a stay at home mom?
What does your weekly work schedule look like?
Do you go to the gym after work during the week?
Yes, I work full time. My work schedule is normally 8-5 M-F with occasional travel. I actually work out at home and honestly when we were still living together I was only getting in two sessions a week at best. She also works full time.
[quote]jwrhoades1 wrote:
I just really feel like if she thinks I am putting something before family time she is going to get pissed whether it’s softball or not. Maybe next weekend I should tell her I’m going to play a round of golf with the guys and see how that goes over.
[/quote]
[quote]jwrhoades1 wrote:
Yes, I work full time. My work schedule is normally 8-5 M-F with occasional travel. I actually work out at home and honestly when we were still living together I was only getting in two sessions a week at best. She also works full time.[/quote]
Sounds like you guys have very little time off together to spend quality time as a family and you want to spend half that time playing softball with your buddies while she has to take care of three little kids like a single mom all over again.
@Brother you might want to look at getting a different therapist because reading the last few pages it seems obvious to me that you indeed have major mommy issues that would be a benefit for you to work through with a professional.
@gregron you pretty much have the same belief on all of this as I do
[quote]jwrhoades1 wrote:
Yes, I work full time. My work schedule is normally 8-5 M-F with occasional travel. I actually work out at home and honestly when we were still living together I was only getting in two sessions a week at best. She also works full time.[/quote]
Sounds like you guys have very little time off together to spend quality time as a family and you want to spend half that time playing softball with your buddies while she has to take care of three little kids like a single mom all over again.
No wonder she isn’t happy.[/quote]
What? Was she working at nights or something? That’s the only scenario in which I see them not having a lot of time together. If they both worked M-F 8-5 jobs then it sounds like they had practically ALL their time together. I mean how could you even possibly have more time than that without being unemployed?
[quote]jwrhoades1 wrote:
Yes, I work full time. My work schedule is normally 8-5 M-F with occasional travel. I actually work out at home and honestly when we were still living together I was only getting in two sessions a week at best. She also works full time.[/quote]
Sounds like you guys have very little time off together to spend quality time as a family and you want to spend half that time playing softball with your buddies while she has to take care of three little kids like a single mom all over again.
No wonder she isn’t happy.[/quote]
What? Was she working at nights or something? That’s the only scenario in which I see them not having a lot of time together. If they both worked M-F 8-5 jobs then it sounds like they had practically ALL their time together. I mean how could you even possibly have more time than that without being unemployed?[/quote]
You aren’t married with kids I take it?
Until the kids go to bed, you and the wife don’t have time together. There’s cooking and cleaning and laundry and bath time and homework and packing lunches and grocery shopping etc. etc.
You don’t have a lot of time to do fun things as a family, the weekends are your best opportunity and even then you have all those things I lusted above to do.
[quote]jwrhoades1 wrote:
Yes, I work full time. My work schedule is normally 8-5 M-F with occasional travel. I actually work out at home and honestly when we were still living together I was only getting in two sessions a week at best. She also works full time.[/quote]
Sounds like you guys have very little time off together to spend quality time as a family and you want to spend half that time playing softball with your buddies while she has to take care of three little kids like a single mom all over again.
No wonder she isn’t happy.[/quote]
What? Was she working at nights or something? That’s the only scenario in which I see them not having a lot of time together. If they both worked M-F 8-5 jobs then it sounds like they had practically ALL their time together. I mean how could you even possibly have more time than that without being unemployed?[/quote]
I’m pretty sure it’s a control issue, and not a “we dont spend time together issue” considering it’s only 2 Saturdays a month.
Until the kids go to bed, you and the wife don’t have time together. There’s cooking and cleaning and laundry and bath time and homework and packing lunches and grocery shopping etc. etc.
You don’t have a lot of time to do fun things as a family [/quote]
What you’re saying is that you dont have any free time to do things as a family, because all the free time is spent cooking for your family, cleaning the house for the family, laundry for the family, cleaning the kids, teaching the kids things through their homework all of which can AND SHOULD be done as a family.
But you know, those 2 Saturdays a month really take away from family time…
[quote]Aggv wrote:
I’m pretty sure it’s a control issue, and not a “we dont spend time together issue” considering it’s only 2 Saturdays a month. [/quote]
“Only two Saturdays a month” could literally be 50-75-100% of their days off together as a family considering his occasional work travel + the kids from the previous relationships seeing their other dads.
[quote]Aggv wrote:
What you’re saying is that you dont have any free time to do things as a family, because all the free time is spent cooking for your family, cleaning the house for the family, laundry for the family, cleaning the kids, teaching the kids things through their homework all of which can AND SHOULD be done as a family.
But you know, those 2 Saturdays a month really take away from family time…[/quote]
What I’m saying is what I said:
[quote]
You don’t have a lot of time to do fun things as a family [/quote]
I don’t know many people who consider cooking, cleaning, laundry and running household errands as “doing fun things as a family.”
[quote]Aggv wrote:
What you’re saying is that you dont have any free time to do things as a family, because all the free time is spent cooking for your family, cleaning the house for the family, laundry for the family, cleaning the kids, teaching the kids things through their homework all of which can AND SHOULD be done as a family.
But you know, those 2 Saturdays a month really take away from family time…[/quote]
What I’m saying is what I said:
[quote]
You don’t have a lot of time to do fun things as a family [/quote]
I don’t know many people who consider cooking, cleaning, laundry and running household errands as “doing fun things as a family.”[/quote]
Then you must know a lot of really miserable people because that’s 90% of what having a family is about.
#1 takeaway lesson from this thread = contraceptives/piitb are the best things ever invented.
[quote]Aggv wrote:
What you’re saying is that you dont have any free time to do things as a family, because all the free time is spent cooking for your family, cleaning the house for the family, laundry for the family, cleaning the kids, teaching the kids things through their homework all of which can AND SHOULD be done as a family.
But you know, those 2 Saturdays a month really take away from family time…[/quote]
What I’m saying is what I said:
happily, and if you dont enjoy doing the things that constitute having a “family life” then you should not have kids.
i hope you’re not married with kids if taking care of that family is such a drag all the time.
[/quote]
lol, ok buddy.
You’re just making things up now. I never said anything about taking care of a family being such a drag all the time. You just want to argue for the sake of arguing. I get it.
I don’t know many people who consider cooking, cleaning, laundry and running household errands as “doing fun things as a family.”
.
.
.
I never said anything about taking care of a family being such a drag all the time.
