Relationship Help!

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121

[quote]carbiduis wrote:

[quote]Edgy wrote:

[quote]LankyMofo wrote:

[quote]therajraj wrote:
OP,

I only read the first post but:

Single moms are damaged goods. You chose poorly to begin with and now you’re getting what you paid for.
[/quote]

Sorry man, this is a big crock of shit. It seems like you read this a number of times on the internet from arm chair experts with no actual experience dating single moms.

At best you’re making this assessment on a sample of n=1. And even that much I doubt. [/quote]

yeah, there are awesome wimmenz with kids who have dickeads for ex’s - it happens…
[/quote]

yes, but what type of girl would #1 get mixed up with a dickhead? and #2 allow herself to get knocked up by one?[/quote]

Just like when people same the woman loses here mind after things get serious or marriage happens, the same things can happen with a guy.

122

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

I’m a little confused myself. The world is tilting on its axis.[/quote]

Why?[/quote]

Because they agree with you on many things and it boggles their little brains that YOUR experience and opinion may actually agree with the “woman haters” such as Orion and myself. (though I have never said I hate women, I don’t lie to or abuse women, nor have I ever hit a woman and I take great effort to ensure that any woman I have a relationship with is better off for having known me - I guess that makes me a woman hater because I don’t settle down with each and ever woman I date)[/quote]

Ah, I see. Well, I am a realist. My mother was no Mother Theresa or the Virgin Mary. I love her, but she has some serious mental illnesses and I do not trust her because she cannot be trusted (that seriously inhibited me in the thought of getting married/having kids). So much that I have LC with her, and mostly just have contact with my half brother. Most women are not raised religious, nor have the virtues of a religious woman. I stopped dating women for a year (because of my job). However, last year I found a very religious woman that I started dating.

I now have a beautiful girlfriend (hopefully fiance once I talk to her father mono y mono). She was raised with the virtues of a Catholic woman (no she is not a little flower who wears ankle length dresses and she does not look like an Amish Catholic, she mostly wears boots/jeans/plaid blouses and camo jackets/hoodies).

And, all the red flags that I’d see when I started to get to know women (before I took my last job) I have not seen in her. So, though my mind is not changed in the fact that I do not necessarily trust women in general, I do trust her…mostly because she has not given me anything to mistrust her about since we have met.

However, most of these men are not surrounded by religious women and I can understand how some of them are pretentious about even thinking about moving towards marriage and allowing a woman to destroy their live once they got bored.

123

There is 100 times more to this story that the OP must be leaving out.

124

Too many cynical people in the world.

I’m very late to this party but it does seem like some things have been left out of the OP’s story.

125

[quote]gregron wrote:
Too many cynical people in the world.

I’m very late to this party but it does seem like some things have been left out of the OP’s story.[/quote]

You just get back from Saturday softball?

126

Sometimes, giving up things that you like is part of marriage, fatherhood and growing up.

The ex shouldn’t have given him that ultimatum but if he really and truely loved this woman and his family then it shouldn’t have even gotten to that point.

Single moms aren’t terrible people but a single mom with multiple kids from multiple baby daddy’s is about a big of a red flag as they get.

127

[quote]gregron wrote:
Sometimes, giving up things that you like is part of marriage, fatherhood and growing up.

The ex shouldn’t have given him that ultimatum but if he really and truely loved this woman and his family then it shouldn’t have even gotten to that point.

Single moms aren’t terrible people but a single mom with multiple kids from multiple baby daddy’s is about a big of a red flag as they get.[/quote]

Yeah, right. Some women do strange things for no apparent reason. My mother gave me an ultimatum when I was 10 years old. I asked her why a few weeks ago, why she did that (which basically destroyed my social life (couldn’t hang out with any of my friends), screwed up my visiting time with my dad, and ultimately stuck me in a situation where I just baby sat my brother while my mother gambled and drank all day) and her answer, “No reason, except I wanted to show you who was in charge…”

I told her that was ridiculous, because she earlier said that I was spending too much time with my dad (which is dumb because the ultimatum led to me playing one less sport (which she could have easily just showed up to my practices and games/matches)).

So, yeah possibly I could have done something to keep my mother from giving me that ultimatum, but I still can’t figure it out 14 years later, and she can’t even give me an answer to why she did it after 14 years.

128

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]gregron wrote:
Sometimes, giving up things that you like is part of marriage, fatherhood and growing up.

The ex shouldn’t have given him that ultimatum but if he really and truely loved this woman and his family then it shouldn’t have even gotten to that point.

Single moms aren’t terrible people but a single mom with multiple kids from multiple baby daddy’s is about a big of a red flag as they get.[/quote]

Yeah, right. Some women do strange things for no apparent reason. My mother gave me an ultimatum when I was 10 years old. I asked her why a few weeks ago, why she did that (which basically destroyed my social life (couldn’t hang out with any of my friends), screwed up my visiting time with my dad, and ultimately stuck me in a situation where I just baby sat my brother while my mother gambled and drank all day) and her answer, “No reason, except I wanted to show you who was in charge…”

I told her that was ridiculous, because she earlier said that I was spending too much time with my dad (which is dumb because the ultimatum led to me playing one less sport (which she could have easily just showed up to my practices and games/matches)).

So, yeah possibly I could have done something to keep my mother from giving me that ultimatum, but I still can’t figure it out 14 years later, and she can’t even give me an answer to why she did it after 14 years.[/quote]
Your mom sounds pretty fucked up man… No offense.

129

[quote]AliveAgain36 wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]gregron wrote:
Sometimes, giving up things that you like is part of marriage, fatherhood and growing up.

The ex shouldn’t have given him that ultimatum but if he really and truely loved this woman and his family then it shouldn’t have even gotten to that point.

Single moms aren’t terrible people but a single mom with multiple kids from multiple baby daddy’s is about a big of a red flag as they get.[/quote]

Yeah, right. Some women do strange things for no apparent reason. My mother gave me an ultimatum when I was 10 years old. I asked her why a few weeks ago, why she did that (which basically destroyed my social life (couldn’t hang out with any of my friends), screwed up my visiting time with my dad, and ultimately stuck me in a situation where I just baby sat my brother while my mother gambled and drank all day) and her answer, “No reason, except I wanted to show you who was in charge…”

I told her that was ridiculous, because she earlier said that I was spending too much time with my dad (which is dumb because the ultimatum led to me playing one less sport (which she could have easily just showed up to my practices and games/matches)).

So, yeah possibly I could have done something to keep my mother from giving me that ultimatum, but I still can’t figure it out 14 years later, and she can’t even give me an answer to why she did it after 14 years.[/quote]
Your mom sounds pretty fucked up man… No offense.[/quote]

Oh, she is…just ask Tiribulus. He got a good side of her.

130

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]gregron wrote:
Sometimes, giving up things that you like is part of marriage, fatherhood and growing up.

The ex shouldn’t have given him that ultimatum but if he really and truely loved this woman and his family then it shouldn’t have even gotten to that point.

Single moms aren’t terrible people but a single mom with multiple kids from multiple baby daddy’s is about a big of a red flag as they get.[/quote]

Yeah, right. Some women do strange things for no apparent reason. My mother gave me an ultimatum when I was 10 years old. I asked her why a few weeks ago, why she did that (which basically destroyed my social life (couldn’t hang out with any of my friends), screwed up my visiting time with my dad, and ultimately stuck me in a situation where I just baby sat my brother while my mother gambled and drank all day) and her answer, “No reason, except I wanted to show you who was in charge…”

I told her that was ridiculous, because she earlier said that I was spending too much time with my dad (which is dumb because the ultimatum led to me playing one less sport (which she could have easily just showed up to my practices and games/matches)).

So, yeah possibly I could have done something to keep my mother from giving me that ultimatum, but I still can’t figure it out 14 years later, and she can’t even give me an answer to why she did it after 14 years.[/quote]
What do your mommy issues have to do with what I wrote about two adults who love eachother in a marriage?

131

[quote]gregron wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]gregron wrote:
Sometimes, giving up things that you like is part of marriage, fatherhood and growing up.

The ex shouldn’t have given him that ultimatum but if he really and truely loved this woman and his family then it shouldn’t have even gotten to that point.

Single moms aren’t terrible people but a single mom with multiple kids from multiple baby daddy’s is about a big of a red flag as they get.[/quote]

Yeah, right. Some women do strange things for no apparent reason. My mother gave me an ultimatum when I was 10 years old. I asked her why a few weeks ago, why she did that (which basically destroyed my social life (couldn’t hang out with any of my friends), screwed up my visiting time with my dad, and ultimately stuck me in a situation where I just baby sat my brother while my mother gambled and drank all day) and her answer, “No reason, except I wanted to show you who was in charge…”

I told her that was ridiculous, because she earlier said that I was spending too much time with my dad (which is dumb because the ultimatum led to me playing one less sport (which she could have easily just showed up to my practices and games/matches)).

So, yeah possibly I could have done something to keep my mother from giving me that ultimatum, but I still can’t figure it out 14 years later, and she can’t even give me an answer to why she did it after 14 years.[/quote]
What do your mommy issues have to do with what I wrote about two adults who love eachother in a marriage?
[/quote]

If a woman exists who is willing to cut her own flesh-and-blood child off from wholesome outside activities for no good reason, then it stands to reason that a woman probably exists who would be willing to do the same thing to a man who is not even her own flesh and blood.

Oh, and by the way, nice shitty snide shot, there.

EDIT I should not have made the assumption in the immediately preceding sentence.

132

[quote]gregron wrote:
Sometimes, giving up things that you like is part of marriage, fatherhood and growing up. [/quote]
Nonetheless, the above is absolutely right, as far as it goes.

Here, we are in “who the hell knows” territory.

133

IMO it’s your hobbies that keep you sane. 2 weekends a month is nothing, you can’t be on call all the time or you will go insane so me, personally? I wouldn’t budge. You love softball. You should play softball. Some guys do drugs and sleep with hookers. You play softball. You should be allowed to play softball.

134

[quote]undoredo wrote:

[quote]gregron wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]gregron wrote:
Sometimes, giving up things that you like is part of marriage, fatherhood and growing up.

The ex shouldn’t have given him that ultimatum but if he really and truely loved this woman and his family then it shouldn’t have even gotten to that point.

Single moms aren’t terrible people but a single mom with multiple kids from multiple baby daddy’s is about a big of a red flag as they get.[/quote]

Yeah, right. Some women do strange things for no apparent reason. My mother gave me an ultimatum when I was 10 years old. I asked her why a few weeks ago, why she did that (which basically destroyed my social life (couldn’t hang out with any of my friends), screwed up my visiting time with my dad, and ultimately stuck me in a situation where I just baby sat my brother while my mother gambled and drank all day) and her answer, “No reason, except I wanted to show you who was in charge…”

I told her that was ridiculous, because she earlier said that I was spending too much time with my dad (which is dumb because the ultimatum led to me playing one less sport (which she could have easily just showed up to my practices and games/matches)).

So, yeah possibly I could have done something to keep my mother from giving me that ultimatum, but I still can’t figure it out 14 years later, and she can’t even give me an answer to why she did it after 14 years.[/quote]
What do your mommy issues have to do with what I wrote about two adults who love eachother in a marriage?
[/quote]
If a woman exists who is willing to cut her own flesh-and-blood child off from wholesome outside activities for no good reason, then it stands to reason that a woman probably exists who would be willing to do the same thing to a man who is not even her own flesh and blood.

Oh, and by the way, nice shitty snide shot, there.
[/quote]
It’s not a “snide shot.” It’s obvious that he has mommy issues, a lot of people do. (Maybe calling them “mommy issues” is where the snideness comes into play? That’s what everyone knows it as.)

I wasn’t taking a shot at him. Would it have been better if I said “pent up, unresolved issues about your mother”?

135

[quote]gregron wrote:
What do your mommy issues have to do with what I wrote about two adults who love eachother in a marriage?[/quote]

I don’t have much mommy issues, at least that is what my therapist told me. But, I was pointing out that sometimes people do crazy things for apparently no reason, maybe because they are jealous. Why would someone that loved this man decide that he can’t have two days a month to have fun when the rest of the month he takes care of his kids/woman/&c.

I don’t really think this is just softball vs. woman. I think this is have personal time vs. do what I say. What I was trying to point out with my mommy issues.

136

[quote]gregron wrote:
It’s not a “snide shot.” It’s obvious that he has mommy issues, a lot of people do. (Maybe calling them “mommy issues” is where the snideness comes into play? That’s what everyone knows it as.)

I wasn’t taking a shot at him. Would it have been better if I said “pent up, unresolved issues about your mother”?[/quote]

I don’t have much issue with my mother, the reason I seem flustered, is because I am. Mostly because she keeps calling me while I am trying to get recover/sleep after surgery. Sorry for my weird rants, I just don’t have many examples of women I have dated giving my ultimatums. So, the example I have is my mother. But, from now on I’ll just pretend that the ultimatums I have had came from my narcissistic ex-girlfriend. :wink:

137

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
I don’t really think this is just softball vs. woman. I think this is have personal time vs. do what I say.
[/quote]
Could be, but I still think we’re in “who the hell knows” territory with this.

138

[quote]undoredo wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
I don’t really think this is just softball vs. woman. I think this is have personal time vs. do what I say.
[/quote]
Could be, but I still think we’re in “who the hell knows” territory with this.
[/quote]

Then let’s wait for OP to explain further.

139

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:

[quote]undoredo wrote:

[quote]Brother Chris wrote:
I don’t really think this is just softball vs. woman. I think this is have personal time vs. do what I say.
[/quote]
Could be, but I still think we’re in “who the hell knows” territory with this.
[/quote]

Then let’s wait for OP to explain further.[/quote]

She says her big issue is the amount of time I am gone for a tournament which varies. Most tournaments are double elimination so there are times we play 2 games and are done and other times we play 5 6 7 games and it is an all day and into the night deal. Look, my daughter is the most important thing in the world to me which is why I am considering getting back together with my ex.

I just really feel like if she thinks I am putting something before family time she is going to get pissed whether it’s softball or not. Maybe next weekend I should ask if I can go play a round of golf with the guys and see how that goes over.

140

Sounds like a shitty situation. I don’t have much to offer, but I do remember as a kid going to watch my dad play softball with my brother and my mom. I always enjoyed it.