[quote]AliveAgain36 wrote:
And if you give up travel softball, your model train set might be next… Snuffle…[/quote]
Seriously, what is this nonsense?
He was willing to give a single mother with kids from two different fathers a chance, toil away so that the kids of Alphaharleymcrockbanddrummer and Billybadboywhitepowertatoo had a roof over their heads and a better role model than their fathers could ever have been, and yeah, you think he is a pussy because he is not giving up his last shreds of freedom and dignity just because she says so?
NON!
[/quote]
Orion - this is no attack at all, don’t take it that way. Are you married? Have you been married for a long time? Do you have kids? Are you the same person pre / post marriage? [/quote]
I suggest you reread the original post again before proceeding with this.
[/quote]
Guess I’m missing something. If she is someone he cares for, the original post makes no difference. If he cares for her, the fact she has kids from another marriage shouldn’t matter if she’s a great girl. If he loves her, and needs to give up some passions for other passions, that’s the way it works. I’d give up plenty of things to be with my sole mate as long as they didn’t compromise my morals or sense of worth. If softball is his sense of worth, then fuck the bitch. But know what your giving up I guess. [/quote]
When my best friends wife sulked and nagged that he could not go out hunting because she always stayed in with the kids, he told her that he would be very happy to take the kids off her hands some other time so she could get out with her friends and that he would leave now.
Came home, thumped a healthy amount of bloody meat on the table.
Funny, what saying no, killing and gutting a deer and bringing the meat hime to your family will do to change a womans mood…
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
Why would you seriously date a woman with two kids? [/quote]
Some women are actually worth it. Some.[/quote]
Really? explain.
[/quote]
A guy meets a woman who has kids from a previous marriage, they hit it off, they date, and possibly get married.
Why discount them? Unless you don’t want to be bothered by the kids…[/quote]
Did her husband die in a fiery car crash?[/quote]
I’m 100% not being a dick her O, I’m just asking… Are you married ? You’ve been on this site much longer than me. Just curious?[/quote]
No.
And reading something like this does not make me want to be.
Also, if I understand this correctly, in case he cohabitates with those other children long enough he could be on the hook for child support.
[quote]AliveAgain36 wrote:
And if you give up travel softball, your model train set might be next… Snuffle…[/quote]
Seriously, what is this nonsense?
He was willing to give a single mother with kids from two different fathers a chance, toil away so that the kids of Alphaharleymcrockbanddrummer and Billybadboywhitepowertatoo had a roof over their heads and a better role model than their fathers could ever have been, and yeah, you think he is a pussy because he is not giving up his last shreds of freedom and dignity just because she says so?
NON!
[/quote]
Orion - this is no attack at all, don’t take it that way. Are you married? Have you been married for a long time? Do you have kids? Are you the same person pre / post marriage? [/quote]
I suggest you reread the original post again before proceeding with this.
[/quote]
Guess I’m missing something. If she is someone he cares for, the original post makes no difference. If he cares for her, the fact she has kids from another marriage shouldn’t matter if she’s a great girl. If he loves her, and needs to give up some passions for other passions, that’s the way it works. I’d give up plenty of things to be with my sole mate as long as they didn’t compromise my morals or sense of worth. If softball is his sense of worth, then fuck the bitch. But know what your giving up I guess. [/quote]
I’m married.
My wife, nor I give ultimatums. We compromise.
Unless it’s drugs, alcohol, or other destructive activity, NOBODY should give up something they love to do.
If she truly loved him, she wouldn’t have him make that choice.
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
Why would you seriously date a woman with two kids? [/quote]
Some women are actually worth it. Some.[/quote]
Really? explain.
[/quote]
A guy meets a woman who has kids from a previous marriage, they hit it off, they date, and possibly get married.
Why discount them? Unless you don’t want to be bothered by the kids…[/quote]
Did her husband die in a fiery car crash?[/quote]
I’m 100% not being a dick her O, I’m just asking… Are you married ? You’ve been on this site much longer than me. Just curious?[/quote]
No.
And reading something like this does not make me want to be.
Also, if I understand this correctly, in case he cohabitates with those other children long enough he could be on the hook for child support. [/quote]
You’re not married. I think it changes your perspective on this.
[quote]AliveAgain36 wrote:
And if you give up travel softball, your model train set might be next… Snuffle…[/quote]
Seriously, what is this nonsense?
He was willing to give a single mother with kids from two different fathers a chance, toil away so that the kids of Alphaharleymcrockbanddrummer and Billybadboywhitepowertatoo had a roof over their heads and a better role model than their fathers could ever have been, and yeah, you think he is a pussy because he is not giving up his last shreds of freedom and dignity just because she says so?
NON!
[/quote]
Orion - this is no attack at all, don’t take it that way. Are you married? Have you been married for a long time? Do you have kids? Are you the same person pre / post marriage? [/quote]
I suggest you reread the original post again before proceeding with this.
[/quote]
Guess I’m missing something. If she is someone he cares for, the original post makes no difference. If he cares for her, the fact she has kids from another marriage shouldn’t matter if she’s a great girl. If he loves her, and needs to give up some passions for other passions, that’s the way it works. I’d give up plenty of things to be with my sole mate as long as they didn’t compromise my morals or sense of worth. If softball is his sense of worth, then fuck the bitch. But know what your giving up I guess. [/quote]
I’m married.
My wife, nor I give ultimatums. We compromise.
Unless it’s drugs, alcohol, or other destructive activity, NOBODY should give up something they love to do.
If she truly loved him, she wouldn’t have him make that choice.[/quote]
I agree 100%. This is a discussion that needs to continue with these two.
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
Why would you seriously date a woman with two kids? [/quote]
Some women are actually worth it. Some.[/quote]
Really? explain.
[/quote]
A guy meets a woman who has kids from a previous marriage, they hit it off, they date, and possibly get married.
Why discount them? Unless you don’t want to be bothered by the kids…[/quote]
Did her husband die in a fiery car crash?[/quote]
I’m 100% not being a dick her O, I’m just asking… Are you married ? You’ve been on this site much longer than me. Just curious?[/quote]
No.
And reading something like this does not make me want to be.
Also, if I understand this correctly, in case he cohabitates with those other children long enough he could be on the hook for child support. [/quote]
This silly post is no reason you should question wanting to decide on marriage with a woman. Based on your posts, you seem like a stand up guy. We’re on a forum post about a guy giving up softball for his family. This is an outlier. Spending your life with a girl whose unquestionably your sole mate, who you love and are proud to love and honor should be your goal. Do that and you’ll jump in on forums like his and hope the same for others.
[quote]AliveAgain36 wrote:
And if you give up travel softball, your model train set might be next… Snuffle…[/quote]
Dude it’s not about softball or any one thing. It’s about a person giving unreasonable ultimatums.
I’ll go ahead and be silly and pretend this is real
I agree it’s screwed for her to make such an ultimatum but we are talking about softball here. If it means keeping your kid, you give up the damn softball. You put up with the bone-head choice you made to be with and have a kid with a control freak and you do what you need to do to be with your kid.
My wife is not like that at all so I don’t have to worry about this type of shit but i can tell you I’m going to do what I need to do to be with my kids every single day. I’m not doing the every other weekend and every other Wednesday deal. No thank you.
I alway felt I was in complete control of the relationship from day one. That changed after we had our 1st kid. She didn’t do or say anything to make this change apparent, it was just a realization I had. If the relationship ends, the woman keeps the kids. That’s the reality we deal with so make damn sure you’ve got a good woman before you have a kid with her.
This guy had plenty of information to know she was a control freak before he knocked her up.
[quote]AliveAgain36 wrote:
And if you give up travel softball, your model train set might be next… Snuffle…[/quote]
Dude it’s not about softball or any one thing. It’s about a person giving unreasonable ultimatums.[/quote]
I don’t disagree… If it is unreasonable than he shouldn’t be here. Apparently it might be reasonable or he wouldn’t be asking.
[quote]AliveAgain36 wrote:
And if you give up travel softball, your model train set might be next… Snuffle…[/quote]
Dude it’s not about softball or any one thing. It’s about a person giving unreasonable ultimatums.[/quote]
And about setting a bad precedent.
And about handing his balls over.
And about quitting a support structure so she can suck all the joy out of his life and all his money off his bank account that much easier.
If you want to talk about leaving your wife home while you go on a business trip to Europe and leaving her to deal with doing homework , making lunches, getting kids up and ready…
If you want to talk about leaving her home while you go to a business dinner and relying on her to feed your kids and get shit done around the house while they nag on her…
If you want to ask your wife if you can go play golf with your buddies while she entertains you kids and prevents them from destroying your house.
My wife is someone I’d give up weekend softball for to be a hero and role model to my kids.
Do yourself better or just resolve that you’re never gonna married. But don’t give out marriage advice til you’ve been there.
If you want to talk about leaving your wife home while you go on a business trip to Europe and leaving her to deal with doing homework , making lunches, getting kids up and ready…
If you want to talk about leaving her home while you go to a business dinner and relying on her to feed your kids and get shit done around the house while they nag on her…
If you want to ask your wife if you can go play golf with your buddies while she entertains you kids and prevents them from destroying your house.
My wife is someone I’d give up weekend softball for to be a hero and role model to my kids.
Do yourself better or just resolve that you’re never gonna married. But don’t give out marriage advice til you’ve been there.
You’re not married. Shhhhh[/quote]
I’m married and you’re still missing the point that it’s not about softball.
Damn, didn’t think there would be so many responses! First off let me say that this is a very real post! I wish it wasn’t. 2nd, I understand that for most people a woman with 2 kids by different men is a red flag but, I am adopted by my step dad who happens to be my moms 3rd husband. They have been happily married for 30 years so I didn’t hold that against her.
Someone suggested playing league ball on Thursday nights. I actually have been and she is fine with that. For me it is just not the same. Te competition level is much better on weekends and I love the tournament format and sometimes playing many games in a day. The middle daughter actually does play softball and I am the assistant coach on her team. I do not miss any of her games or practices. If we play on the same day, I am late to my tournament or leave early to be at her game.
A lot of what you guys have said is spot on with what I think and how I feel. The hardest part about the whole thing is not seeing my daughter everyday. And honestly, before she was born the every other weekend compromise was no problem.
This is a really tough situation, Yeah I know I shouldn’t have knocked her up when I did but it happened and I wouldn’t change it because I have my little girl now. That said, I feel like I have two options.
Stop playing ball, see my daughter everyday but hold a lot of resentment in my relationship or
Keep playing ball, do not get back into the relationship and see my daughter a couple days a week and every other weekend…
Either way it sucks and to some of you I know it seems easy to walk away from ball but it is something I have played some form of since I was 5 years old and I’d like to play a couple more years while I can still move half way decent.
[quote]jwrhoades1 wrote:
That said, I feel like I have two options.
Stop playing ball, see my daughter everyday but hold a lot of resentment in my relationship or
Keep playing ball, do not get back into the relationship and see my daughter a couple days a week and every other weekend…
[/quote]
There’s a third option. Stop playing ball, see your daughter everyday and not hold a grudge against your wife. Just accept it and move on.
Btw, I played baseball from 9 to 22 then again from 32 to 36. When my first son was born I quit playing and didn’t feel I was missing out at all. Granted, that was my own choice and not forced upon me but my point is it’s just a game, it shouldn’t be that important. Your daughter and even the other two children are what’s important.
Also, I’m 49 years old and just started playing again in an over 35 baseball league. I don’t like to brag or anything (of course I do) but I am so much more athletic than those guys, some in the 35 to 37 age range. I’m the best hitter and on defense I’m like a man playing with children.
We scrimmaged last weekend with an 18 and over team. Afterward I heard one of the young guys say to my manager “hey you guys have some good team speed!” Since I’m the only one who can run at all, I interpret this remark to mean I was so fast he thought I was multiple people!
My point is (besides the humble brag) if you take care of yourself you can still be athletic later when your kids are doing their own things. My teammates prove that most people fail at this but it is possible. This weekend the season starts so I will find out if my team is just really bad or if I’m really that good.