In my experience women often frame a situation like this as, “this dude is choosing a stupid game of softball over a lifelong commitment to me”.
Correct me if I am wrong, but it sounds like, to you, softball is more representative of your free time/passion/happiness. You aren’t choosing between her and a game, but between her and your personal happiness. I don’t think you would have drawn such a hard line if it were just about the game.
I would try to explain to her that playing softball is part of what makes you who you are and it’s important for your own fulfillment. If she doesn’t want you to be happy, then its time to walk away.
It’s easy to armchair QB when your feelings aren’t involved, but I’ve been there before and have been happy I made the choice to walk away.
[quote]broyourmybro wrote:
In my experience women often frame a situation like this as, “this dude is choosing a stupid game of softball over a lifelong commitment to me”.
Correct me if I am wrong, but it sounds like, to you, softball is more representative of your free time/passion/happiness. You aren’t choosing between her and a game, but between her and your personal happiness. I don’t think you would have drawn such a hard line if it were just about the game.
I would try to explain to her that playing softball is part of what makes you who you are and it’s important for your own fulfillment. If she doesn’t want you to be happy, then its time to walk away.
[/quote]
x2
Some will take the viewpoint at one extreme (“He’s choosing softball over a life with me!?”), some will take the other (“That twat can’t tell a real man what to do!”), but the correct answer is this one.
Quite tournament play and join a Thursday night league locally. Have the wife and kids come out to the games. Try to get the girls interested in softball. Then you can help them with their game. Then you can start going to tournaments again on the weekends. It will just be their tournaments.
[quote]jwrhoades1 wrote:
one of her conditions is that I do not play softball on weekends. I know it probably seems like a small thing but it is basically the only thing I do outside of the house. I dont hang out in bars, dont fish or hunt, I even lift in my garage. [/quote]
So your 1 hobby which you do TWICE a month is the thing she wants you to give up?
I have to ask if you’re trolling because that’s completely asinine. [/quote]
Of course he’s trolling:
“When we began dating it was the end of softball season so I really didn’t play much for several months. When the season rolled around again she had a huge problem with me playing every weekend. I understood her point and decided to only play every other weekend. After we had been together and were engaged after about a 2 years, she became pregnant with our baby girl.”
If you haven’t given up anything for a woman, you’ve never been married, are divorced, or about to get divorced. Don’t matter what anyone says no how (to paraphrase Gary Payton)
Don’t ever let a woman tell you what to do. I played rugby for more than ten years. Practice every Tuesday and Thursday, two or three games on Saturday plus the “third half”. Two seasons a year. Lifting/sprinting like a madman in the off season. None of my significant others ever even THOUGHT about suggesting I stop playing - even after three knee surgeries and two screws in my shoulder… She just wants to control you. Fuck. That. Bitch.
be awesome at your sport
meet plenty of cool chicks who DIG your sport
narrow it down and make an honest woman out of one of them
sue for full custody of your child and win
be happy with cool family who cheers you on at your games
[quote]AliveAgain36 wrote:
And if you give up travel softball, your model train set might be next… Snuffle…[/quote]
Seriously, what is this nonsense?
He was willing to give a single mother with kids from two different fathers a chance, toil away so that the kids of Alphaharleymcrockbanddrummer and Billybadboywhitepowertatoo had a roof over their heads and a better role model than their fathers could ever have been, and yeah, you think he is a pussy because he is not giving up his last shreds of freedom and dignity just because she says so?
[quote]AliveAgain36 wrote:
And if you give up travel softball, your model train set might be next… Snuffle…[/quote]
Seriously, what is this nonsense?
He was willing to give a single mother with kids from two different fathers a chance, toil away so that the kids of Alphaharleymcrockbanddrummer and Billybadboywhitepowertatoo had a roof over their heads and a better role model than their fathers could ever have been, and yeah, you think he is a pussy because he is not giving up his last shreds of freedom and dignity just because she says so?
NON!
[/quote]
Orion - this is no attack at all, don’t take it that way. Are you married? Have you been married for a long time? Do you have kids? Are you the same person pre / post marriage?
[quote]AliveAgain36 wrote:
And if you give up travel softball, your model train set might be next… Snuffle…[/quote]
Seriously, what is this nonsense?
He was willing to give a single mother with kids from two different fathers a chance, toil away so that the kids of Alphaharleymcrockbanddrummer and Billybadboywhitepowertatoo had a roof over their heads and a better role model than their fathers could ever have been, and yeah, you think he is a pussy because he is not giving up his last shreds of freedom and dignity just because she says so?
NON!
[/quote]
Orion - this is no attack at all, don’t take it that way. Are you married? Have you been married for a long time? Do you have kids? Are you the same person pre / post marriage? [/quote]
I suggest you reread the original post again before proceeding with this.
[quote]AliveAgain36 wrote:
And if you give up travel softball, your model train set might be next… Snuffle…[/quote]
Seriously, what is this nonsense?
He was willing to give a single mother with kids from two different fathers a chance, toil away so that the kids of Alphaharleymcrockbanddrummer and Billybadboywhitepowertatoo had a roof over their heads and a better role model than their fathers could ever have been, and yeah, you think he is a pussy because he is not giving up his last shreds of freedom and dignity just because she says so?
NON!
[/quote]
Orion - this is no attack at all, don’t take it that way. Are you married? Have you been married for a long time? Do you have kids? Are you the same person pre / post marriage? [/quote]
I suggest you reread the original post again before proceeding with this.
[/quote]
Guess I’m missing something. If she is someone he cares for, the original post makes no difference. If he cares for her, the fact she has kids from another marriage shouldn’t matter if she’s a great girl. If he loves her, and needs to give up some passions for other passions, that’s the way it works. I’d give up plenty of things to be with my sole mate as long as they didn’t compromise my morals or sense of worth. If softball is his sense of worth, then fuck the bitch. But know what your giving up I guess.
[quote]Captnoblivious wrote:
Why would you seriously date a woman with two kids? [/quote]
Some women are actually worth it. Some.[/quote]
Really? explain.
[/quote]
A guy meets a woman who has kids from a previous marriage, they hit it off, they date, and possibly get married.
Why discount them? Unless you don’t want to be bothered by the kids…[/quote]
Did her husband die in a fiery car crash?[/quote]
I’m 100% not being a dick her O, I’m just asking… Are you married ? You’ve been on this site much longer than me. Just curious?