Sounds good to me. Yeah if you can manage to get some inside info on the big money job that might change things. If you get it up to like 50% you can get the big job then I think that changes things enough to take the risk.
The potential upside of the safe job isn’t too significant compared to the big one. Say, $25K a year vs. $125K. One is “ok, we live a little better, save a little more” and the other is “< 10 years of saving the difference and you’ve got a million bucks” level.
I think I’m talking myself into saying go for the big one haha
I’m weighing the potential of just being honest with the safe route (option 1). Probably ludicrous, but thinking about it.
They upped their offer because I had a compelling competing offer (option 2)…and I turned down option 2 yesterday. But there is this option 3 that is a late entry into the mix, and it is most appealing of all.
I’m considering telling option 1: Look, I love your offer and your organization. I turned down option 2 because I prefer you. But option 3 is in the mix, and I simply need more time to make a decision. If you want to move forward with another candidate while I figure things out, I completely respect that decision. But just know I’m not saying no to your offer – I’m simply saying that I need more time.
There are many factors to consider. When I was younger and single and didn’t own a home I was more willing to take risks. I packed up and moved across the country a couple of times for better jobs and more money. As the years have gone by and my responsibilities have accumulated, I have become far more risk averse (or maybe it’s just that my T levels dropped ). At any rate, I don’t know your life situation. If it were me, I’d probably go with the sure thing. A bird in the hand and all that. Going from $85k to $110k is a really nice jump, especially when it’s one job instead of busting your ass with several jobs to get there. Hmmm, I might need to increase my T dosage and take more risks. LOL
Libido hasn’t been great lately – but I can’t evaluate anything accurately right now because stress level has been so high. I’ve had plenty of energy and self-confidence. Overall I’m in a good place, just thinking sex drive is down because of overall life stuff.
Understandable. Saya prescribed me some T3/T4 meds (supposedly comparable to Armour) to try out for a month or so just to see if it helps with me feeling cold all the time, increased prolactin, etc.
I moved to NYC from Mississippi having been a bartender while in college. Started as a real estate agent a few years after the market crash. Everyone was doing the most expensive places so I decided to do the cheapest places ($400k-700k apts) that people felt weren’t worth their time. I ended up making more than anyone in the company because of that decision. About three years into real estate, the company I worked for was bought by Corcoran and I now worked at the largest real estate agency in the city. Anyways, shit went well for years until one day I met this girl and she asked if I was able to rent her an apartment so I did. I found her a great apt and she said “you should do medical device sales” go to this website and apply. I did, got an interview, the girl quit the day before my interview and I thought I was screwed. For some reason they chose me over everyone else and turns out I was to be in charge of all of Brooklyn, NY.
Money is not the be-all end-all and I don’t want to sound like it is or that I have everything figured out.
I quit that entire life several months ago and moved back to the South just so I could be closer to family and because it’s where I want to raise kids one day. I’m able to do that with confidence because I took that job and it worked. Because I got that job my options are endless in whatever field I choose to be in.
Dude you’re young. You can afford to take some risks now and make a few mistakes. You only have to get lucky once for your life to be forever changed.
I just turned 50 and I don’t regret one of the many times where I took risks and failed. I do however regret not jumping at a few risky opportunities that would have ended up paying off. 100k / year is good money that affords a comfortable life, 200K / year is life changing money.
The advice of this stranger is take risks while you are young and plan for risk when you are older. You, sir, are young.
Just had hour-long chats with my closest mentor and the guy from option 3. He knew all about the situation with 1 and 2; I was completely honest with him (a great guy) throughout the process. He said certain HR things (re: timeline) were just out of his control. Higher ed can be weird like that. He tried to expedite their search as much as possible, but they were so far behind.
After their meeting, they intended to invite me to interview, but their first round (video interviews) wouldn’t be for over a month. In other words, there was absolutely no way I could stall with option 2. It had to be yes or no.
Though I’d be in the mix with 3, he said there are a lot of other qualified people in there as well, people at far different stages of their careers – some with 20-30 years more experience than me (the job title isn’t totally defined, depends on the hire).
He agreed with my mentor’s advice: take option 2 to lock up that great job, because something that good likely won’t be available next year. However, I should pursue options for making extra income (something I’ve always done anyway), and start game-planning for the next option 3 that comes along.
Maybe it’ll be a year down the road, maybe 2, 3, 4 years – but one will come around, and they both felt I’ll actually be a more appealing candidate then, with more experience. In other words, it’s not an “option 2 forever or option 3 forever” decision – it’s an “option 2 now and option 3, or something like it, in the future” decision. Take the safe 110K now, build on it as much as possible with side hustles, and immediately start making moves for the next 200K opportunity.
I bought an extra day or two with option 2 just to give it final thought, but that’s looking like the move. Both my mentor and source from option 3 were encouraging of me moving in that direction. I actually feel very good about it!
Sounds like you had a solid conversation that helped to clarify things for the right now and the future, nice work.
From an old person perspective, you’re doing a great job. Keep it up. I wasn’t thinking like that when I was 28. It’s only going to help you in the future @bkb333.
What did you end up doing by the way? What’s your choice going to be?
Thanks, brother. I committed to option 2. I’m still not positive it was the right choice, and I probably never will know for sure, but I spoke with the wisest people I know, and that seemed to be the consensus. Had to trust my gut.
I only brought up the financial component, but there was also a big family component to this decision…we are now much closer to family with option 2. When we told them, some of them cried tears of joy. It’s hard to weigh all the different variables that go into picking a job, but that made me feel good, even if I’m leaving money on the table. It’s hugely important to my wife.
That said, I am already thinking about ways to increase my income. I’ll definitely continue with side hustles. 110K sounds like a lot, but it goes quickly! I made 50K in side hustles last year. I’d rather not maintain the same pace – it’s exhausting, you know? – but I could probably find another 20-50 per year in the coming years.
Me too, man. I do freelance writing for a handful of media organizations. It’s not the most exciting thing, but I can write super fast, so the ROI is big. For example, today I wrote a piece in 2 hours that paid $450.
Edit: considering I’m in academia, I’ll probably take whatever extra classes I can get. I know some schools hire online professors as well.
That is a very good skill to have. I wish I was better at it… I can crank out some emails out but to get really nice sounding stuff it takes me a lot longer than just saying “need this done, k, bye”
I had a boss who was f’ing amazing at it. I’m pretty sure that’s why he always ended up being an executive. That, and being able to talk for a solid 4 hours straight without stopping. That seems to be a requirement too these days
Anyways. Congrats on the new job/closer to family situation. That piece seems to matter more the older you get. 20’s it’s like eh whatever, do whatever, go wherever, get your career going. It’s nice it worked out that you can get a raise and move closer to them.
Communication skills increase your value so much. You could be an idiot in other domains, but if you can communicate, well, you have a good shot of succeeding. People also overvalue appearance. I’ve seen it time and again. That evolutionary bias is real, as much as we like to pretend we’re evolved. We’re still apes
I was definitely like that in early 20s – moved across the country, didn’t care. TBH, I still prefer the job situation that is best for my career and will pay the most, regardless of location. I was considering an offer in the Bay Area this time around.
But now I have a wife, and her perspective matters just as much as mine. I have to constantly remind myself that – it’s not all about what I want.
She cares a ton about being around family. I’m not wired the same way, but having a good marriage obviously requires lots of sacrifice. I love her and want her to be happy, even if that means I don’t accomplish everything with my career that I could.
). At any rate, I don’t know your life situation. If it were me, I’d probably go with the sure thing. A bird in the hand and all that. Going from $85k to $110k is a really nice jump, especially when it’s one job instead of busting your ass with several jobs to get there. Hmmm, I might need to increase my T dosage and take more risks. LOL