I agree with @ncsugrad2002 with leaning towards the $110k with the odds of the other one.
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My opinionā¦
If you can provide for your family and still have some left over to put up a small amount, and live a decent lifestyle that youād be happy with on $110k, AND itās a job that youād be happy doing, then a bird in the hand brotherā¦
It aināt all all about the money. Itās about living a life that you can be happy with, and at the end of it all, proud of. Believe meā¦some of the most miserable guys in the world are also some of the most wealthy.
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āTwo roads diverged in a wood ā¦ I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.ā ā Robert Frost
Go for the big one. Youāre going to be working 40+ hrs regardless. Want to be happy? Find a hobby you love to do when you arenāt at work.
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Are we talking like for like here? Benefits, bonuses, travel, flex time, etcā¦these all have to be weighed out. I took a $25k a year pay cut so that I could go from a 90 minute commute to 15 minutes and Id do it again because my quality of life was so much better.
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You could look at this from the other side tooā¦maybe the road less traveled is the less āobviousā if you consider most people would always go for a higher paying job. Present company excluded because these are some good thoughts above.
Heās not even 30 yet. This is the time to take those risks. Think of the future an extra $120k/year could bring if he got there 5 years earlier. If he doesnāt get it life doesnāt change much. But if he does get it then his life & his familyās life are drastically changed forever. Listen to āLose yourselfā - Eminem before you make a decision lol.
Look
If you had
One shot
Or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let it slip?
That all depends manā¦
If an extra 120K a year means he will be working non stop and he sacrificed the relationship he has with his wife and familyā¦maybe the reward isnāt worth the effort, especially considering that there is a 75% that he will NOT get that job. Then what? The 110K job is gone and now heās back to square one.
You think like a single man brother (which I expect because you are one lol). @bkb333 has crossed that road in life (taken on the responsibility of being the provider for another person) where every decision he makes from here on out has to be weighed on a much larger scale.
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I would stick with the job you have and try to get that promotion. If that promotion doesnāt work go for the 110k. 100K is a good salary, but 200 is even better, trust me youāll love your decision if it comes true. You invested all this time in the current position with that goal in mind. Dont trash it like that. You are throwing all that hard work away and you need to first realize if this offer will happen or not before jumping ship.
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Good point as well. Quality of life is important. Distance to job, hours and potential.
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Heās making about the same as the first job now. He has a chance to triple that. He could retire 10 years earlier if he gets it, he could put his kids in much better schools, he could take them on amazing vacations, get a great house in an amazing neighborhood, invest that extra money and double it, have money to eventually leave them, the pluses are endless.
I donāt think like a single guy, I think like a person who has been in that position and knows the difference it can make if he gets it. Heās going to be working his ass off regardless. He has a chance that doesnāt come often to most people. Money doesnāt make you happy but it gives you a shit-ton more options to get there and most of all it gives you freedom. I know heās likely going to go the safe route but I had a similar situation fall out of the sky that was very unlikely and I went for it and got it. My life has been forever changed.
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First off, congrats on the job offer @bkb333, thatās no small accomplishment. Nice work.
How long have you known you had this offer and why do you have to decide by tomorrow? Have you gone through any rounds of negotiation for this particular offer?
We might work in different industries, but if I made an offer to a candidate, that means I want them over the others Iāve interviewed. With how hot the job market is here in NE, I donāt think Iād play hard ball with someone I want to join my company.
Did they say they will offer the job to someone else if you donāt decide by tomorrow? If not (and depending on how long youāve known about it), you could ask for the weekend to think about it. Changing jobs is a big deal and as others have pointed out, a decision that impacts more that one now. I think itās reasonable to ask for time to think over the weekendā¦ And hopefully by Monday youāll have heard from your inside source and will have more info to make your choice.
Iām not sure what the job market is like in your industryā¦ But if you did take a risk and try for the big pay dayā¦ Are there similar opportunities to the 110k job you could pursue if you didnāt get either job?
Congratulations brother sincerely.
You took a chance and won. And even if you hadnāt won, so what right? You just get back up and try again! Lol. I sincerely hope that you someday find something (someone) to love more than anything in the world, even above your own life and self, and you know beyond any doubt that itās reciprocated. If you ever truly experience that, you will know what Iām talking about.
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Explain it to me. If he takes a chance at the higher paying job will he not have the wife and children or the ability to love someone more than himself?
No brother thatās not itā¦
If you already have that in your life, you donāt take long shot chances with it at all unless absolutely necessary.
I really hope that my posts have not been taken as stabbing at you or belittling you in any way. Thatās not my intention. There is NOTHING wrong with staying single and chasing that dream man. Iām simply pointing out that once you cross that line, and willingly take on the responsibility of another personās life, the entire dynamic changes. Itās not about you or your aspirations anymore. Every chance you take has much more than just you on the line. Thatās all Iām trying to say.
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I hear you on that, brother. A 90-minute commute is horrible, 15 so much more manageable. IMO definitely worth 25K. This seems blurrier to me because weāre talking more like 100K (potentially compounded over my lifetime, starting at 28).
I should probably clarify that I donāt think Iād be working any more with either job. The work would be pretty different ā one more focused on research, one more on students ā but itād probably be about equal in terms of time.
Thatās awesome, brother ā I admire you. Mind sharing more about how that process played out for you?
One thing Iām deliberating: when Iām on my deathbed, what will I wish I did? Honestly, thereās no right answer. āGo for the big oneā is the immediate thought (no regrets!), but like @bmbrady77 said, maybe Iāll be saying āI wish I had thought more about the people depending on me instead of selfishly aiming to maximize my income.ā Quality of life would be very good in either place, though obviously better in the higher-paying position.
Thatās one thing: this negotiation has already been playing out for a while. Iāve talked them up quite a bit, and itās taken a couple weeks longer than they originally wanted. I know for sure this is their final, max offer. Theyāve really pushed themselves to offer more, eclipsing their normal organizational ārules.ā
Itās hard to say. Iām in academia, so new jobs are posted each fall. There would definitely be other jobs this coming fall, but itās probably 50/50 whether one this good would come along. My closest colleague thinks Iām an idiot for potentially turning it down. But ā despite being a genius at work ā heās also bad with money and doesnāt think about things like compound interest.
@dextermorgan exactly what Iāve been considering. At this point, itās just my wife, but we want to have kids soon. If I take the safe route, sheād have to work in some capacity. If I were to land the long shot, she could be a stay-at-home mom.
My wife doesnāt have a strong opinion. Sheāll support me regardless. Sheās in the same headspace I am ā thinks the long shot would be amazing, but also recognizes the value in the safe option (and potential risk of giving up a great job).
This is the lynchpin. Heās going to try to gather information today, but said thereās no guarantee the committee finds time to meet.
My current thought is that I need to buy more time from the safe route. I donāt want to outright turn them down, but I also donāt want to shut the door with the bigger possibilityā¦just need to think of the most tactful/wise way to buy time.
I know they want me badly. I also know they wonāt wait around forever for me. They hired someone for this role last year and the guy pulled a shitty move ā accepted the position, then backed out months later for another role. Iād never do that to them. But I also need to see this other option through.