For those that train and get black eyes, how do you handle the reactions from your friends, co workers and employers. Are any of you a public figures or official.
just curious has been a common theme for me lately
Don’t comment it and if pressed, placate.
Never say something like “I made a small mistake and my buddy hit me square in the face- the bastard has a nice left hook”.
You simply had an accident, tried out a new exercise or are vitamin deficient.
Even if people know you do martial arts, you can’t possibly answer in a way that won’t make them feel uneasy.
I never worked for a bank or something like that so I can only assume you have to be even more careful.
[quote]Schwarzfahrer wrote:
Don’t comment it and if pressed, placate.
Never say something like “I made a small mistake and my buddy hit me square in the face- the bastard has a nice left hook”.
You simply had an accident, tried out a new exercise or are vitamin deficient.
Even if people know you do martial arts, you can’t possibly answer in a way that won’t make them feel uneasy.
I never worked for a bank or something like that so I can only assume you have to be even more careful.[/quote]
Very strange post. Of course you can and should mention it if asked rather than say “I am vitamin deficient” LOL.
OP it is fine, even in a professional, client facing position like investment banking, as long as it is infrequent.
Obviously, if it is an extremely regular occurrence, and you work in this kind of role, you should not need to be told that it is not a good idea.
[quote]Schwarzfahrer wrote:
Even if people know you do martial arts, you can’t possibly answer in a way that won’t make them feel uneasy.
[/quote]
what on Earth are you talking about?
If you share the facts behind a bruise, some people will freak out, at least to my experience.
Sure, one group won’t mind or even openly express they find it interesting or cool. But others will associate you with irratic, irresponsible (“an adult wouldn’t participate in such a sport”), at best juvenile behaviour.
I get bruises easily.
WHen I train with contact, I have to be extremely careful about my head, and my arms and legs will be black and blue no matter what.
Many people in our societies don’t want to be associated with what they perceive as brutal violence.
If you had different experience, good for you.
But as I see it, the best you can get is indifference, which you already get if you politely refuse to share particular fragments of your private life. On the other hand, antipathy is easily reaped.
[quote]Schwarzfahrer wrote:
But others will associate you with irratic, irresponsible (“an adult wouldn’t participate in such a sport”), at best juvenile behaviour.
Many people in our societies don’t want to be associated with what they perceive as brutal violence.
[/quote]
I think this is pretty paranoid, maybe it also depends on your personality. If you are some big hulking psycho at work then yeah this will add to your problems of perception (not saying you are).
When someone asks, just turn away, begin sobbing softly, and say, “It’s only because he loves me so much.”
[quote]yolo84 wrote:
[quote]Schwarzfahrer wrote:
Don’t comment it and if pressed, placate.
Never say something like “I made a small mistake and my buddy hit me square in the face- the bastard has a nice left hook”.
You simply had an accident, tried out a new exercise or are vitamin deficient.
Even if people know you do martial arts, you can’t possibly answer in a way that won’t make them feel uneasy.
I never worked for a bank or something like that so I can only assume you have to be even more careful.[/quote]
Very strange post. Of course you can and should mention it if asked rather than say “I am vitamin deficient” LOL.
OP it is fine, even in a professional, client facing position like investment banking, as long as it is infrequent.
Obviously, if it is an extremely regular occurrence, and you work in this kind of role, you should not need to be told that it is not a good idea.[/quote]
I agree.
I think most people understand that if you box as a hobby, you’re going to get the occasional black eye.
Walking in looking like Micky Ward might not be a terrific idea though.
[quote]Ulty wrote:
When someone asks, just turn away, begin sobbing softly, and say, “It’s only because he loves me so much.”[/quote]
bahahahahaahahahaahaha
[quote]yolo84 wrote:
[quote]Schwarzfahrer wrote:
But others will associate you with irratic, irresponsible (“an adult wouldn’t participate in such a sport”), at best juvenile behaviour.
Many people in our societies don’t want to be associated with what they perceive as brutal violence.
[/quote]
I think this is pretty paranoid, maybe it also depends on your personality. If you are some big hulking psycho at work then yeah this will add to your problems of perception (not saying you are).
[/quote]
Its not that far fetched.
Our society is pretty sissified at this point and anything perceived as a violent thing is frowned upon by a big portion of it.
Sure younger men will think its awesome because testosterone makes fighting awesome but women and older men who never got into any kind of combat or combat sport will look at you and think this guy can hurt me. Its pretty funny but I have seen it happen where body language changed drastically when someone found out the other person trained to fight in some capacity.
I actually stopped fighting because of my job. Try walking into a law office looking like you got stitched up last night, see if you stay on the partner track. They are trying to project an image to their clients, and if you’re doing something that runs counter to that they’re not going to put up with it for very long.
I recently cracked my thumb. I have had injuries over the past 25 years. I always make up an excuse at work and then move on in the conversation. People don’t understand and I don’t feel the need or desire to explain to them. If you are above a certain or work in a professional setting most don’t get it. Why bother explaining, excuse cover story and move on.
[quote]punchedbear wrote:
[quote]yolo84 wrote:
[quote]Schwarzfahrer wrote:
But others will associate you with irratic, irresponsible (“an adult wouldn’t participate in such a sport”), at best juvenile behaviour.
Many people in our societies don’t want to be associated with what they perceive as brutal violence.
[/quote]
I think this is pretty paranoid, maybe it also depends on your personality. If you are some big hulking psycho at work then yeah this will add to your problems of perception (not saying you are).
[/quote]
Its not that far fetched.
Our society is pretty sissified at this point and anything perceived as a violent thing is frowned upon by a big portion of it.
Sure younger men will think its awesome because testosterone makes fighting awesome but women and older men who never got into any kind of combat or combat sport will look at you and think this guy can hurt me. Its pretty funny but I have seen it happen where body language changed drastically when someone found out the other person trained to fight in some capacity.
[/quote]
Come to think of it, I have seen this also.
I don’t mind it though. I’ve always held the opinion that no matter what business you’re in, or how professional your job (and I have a relatively professional one now), the potential that you might employ violence - no matter how ridiculous it might seem to us in a given situation - is nothing but a positive.
Maybe it’s my job in particular, too. I’m a journalist, and being as most journalists are pussies and physically weak… well, combine that with the fact that we often write things that get lots of people very angry, people think that they can cross that line without repercussion.
All it takes is them knowing that you box, combined with a smile and a look while you say, “Oh you think that’s how this is gonna go?” to make the great majority of people back off pretty quick.
And on another note, keeping your ass in the boxing gym does the job of preventing you from becoming soft - or civilized, one might say. It keeps you swearing, keeps you tough, keeps you lean, keeps you willing. So even if your office job is full of faggots, you still got that bastion.
Just my experiences, of course.
People around the office know I’m a physical dude, so it’s no surprise to them if I show up bruised or limping. But I’ve recently taken on a new role that routinely puts me in front of a variety of people: pitching new products to company execs, giving presentations to hundreds of their employees, helping people in one-on-one settings… When I introduce myself to new clients, I give a bit of background on myself and I always include my martial arts training (as it relates directly to my job). I do make it a point to NOT get busted open when I know I have to meet with a client any time soon, but they know a fat lip or black eye won’t effect the service they receive from me.
In high school, my teachers and classmates knew I was a fighter so whenever I’d turned up at the start of the week with busted lips and black eyes, they knew I’d been competing during the weekend. In the street, grocery stores, I’d always get the obvious inquisitive look, haha. My grandparents, some of my aunts and uncles thought it wasn’t right for a teenage girl to be involved in violent competitive sports. My parents were quite supportive though. I wore my black eyes like badges of honour, so I really didn’t give a fuck what people thought.
Nowadays, I still get the occasionally black eye during a rough sparring session and if I’ve got a business meeting to go to in the next few days and need to look sharp, great make up helps concealing the bruise. But there’d been days I hadn’t truly bothered though. My business partners know about my MA background and that I still spar on occasion.
The people I coach are in the know too. A small portion of my female clientèle don’t like the black eyes. Too intimidating. The rest truly don’t care. As for the males, their feelings about it are pretty mixed. Most of them hate seeing a pretty face bashed up.
[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:
Nowadays, I still get the occasionally black eye during a rough sparring session
[/quote]
Is that what you’re calling it now?
I think Shwarz has a point.
For years I was in a professional job too whilst also fighting. It kept all my colleagues well within their limits of respect. Hell, since it was a female dominant industry and most of them knew me from personal interactions over the years, they actually dug it only because they knew me as a person first. They’d ask about my fights, follow them and you could see a bubbliness come out of them when we talked about it.
Secretly every woman wants a guy who can handle himself with confidence and has some physicality to back it up. Any woman that pretends otherwise is full of shit or detached from her femininity.
Having said that, in today’s day and age, I have found I had to dumb down and pussify my resume’ when applying for jobs. Even things like hobbies are frowned upon and used to prejudge you. Never mind that I have managed leading retail companies nationally or that I have the ability and brains in my spare time to build street legal drag cars that make supercars look mundane, they’re not skills taken into account.
The mentality you develop in fighting and training and the confidence gained is ignored and all they see is a potential brute who is too alpha for their company. So yeh, I agree, sometimes you gotta play that shit down.
[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:
Nowadays, I still get the occasionally black eye during a rough sparring session
[/quote]
Is that what you’re calling it now?[/quote]
Hahahaha!!!
I actually thought about talking about the other extreme stuff cough cough… but decided against it.
[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:
[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
[quote]DarkNinjaa wrote:
Nowadays, I still get the occasionally black eye during a rough sparring session
[/quote]
Is that what you’re calling it now?[/quote]
Hahahaha!!!
I actually thought about talking about the other extreme stuff cough cough… but decided against it.
[/quote]
Yeah, people just don’t understand hot dog eating contests.
There is a degree of perception in any profession, however, to back up the point on how our society is so soft and PC, I was pulled from a dipomatic security detail last week, because, the “client” might get upset it she saw the small mouse under my right eye. Hell, I wasn’t even hit, I was holding pads for one guy, glanced over at another student, and got banged in the eye by the pad. However, it doesn’t make any difference that you are in a high threat area, you just got to look good…LOL…some shit never ceases to amaze me.
BTW: Most of you work in professional settings, I think DN has the best idea: good makeup, maybe, if I had someone cover up my eye, things would have been different.,LOL…